Puzzle 10 - Hurts
Skeleton In The Closet
It’s snowing outside. I have no idea on how long this snow season would be happening in Seoul. I have been here since yesterday after the all tiring army activities in DMZ. It was frightening on DMZ and everyone asked why I wanted to be placed in that kind of place. The answer is I don’t know neither. For two years I searched for something more hurt than being abandoned by someone you love. Maybe that was including on the consideration of my decision to gave service on DMZ.
A month ago, my senior in army came and told me that I should be back to Seoul because my service obligations was close to over. Frankly, I am not okay with that. The fact that I have spent my two years close to danger and I couldn’t even make myself die in this scariest place in the world... that’s .
“Jiyong, someone is visiting you!” that’s Jongdeon’s voice. He is my roommate here. After thank him for telling me about the visitor I go out from bed room to the office room in the army quarter wehere everyone here usually see their visitors. OH WOW! She is here?
“Noona.. I thought you were still busy with your new born child?” I hug her tight. It’s so relieve to see her again after two years.
“Actually I want to bring my children here to meet you, but it’s an unplanned visits..” Dami noona says and I boost one of my eyebrow. She sees it and continue with her explanation, “It’s true I want to meet you.. Oh come on it’s been almost two years! But not today actually. I planned to meet you tomorrow since my husband will be coming back from Japan this night. I want him to meet you with me too. Another but.... I met someone I didn’t plan to meet either...”
“Who?” I ask, cut her words. I have a feeling that she reffers to someone I know the best..
“Chaerin.. Lee Chaerin... She is here. Have you known it already?”
I AM SHOCK.
“Oh you’re shock?! So you don’t know as well. That’s good. Jiyong, she is here now. Maybe then you can meet here and finish every problem you to have in back. After that, you can move on and continue your life...” Dami noona keeps talking. I keep breathing... and thinking. I have to get out of this place as soon as posibble.
***
Chaerin is here? Seriously? She is finally here? Wait a minute... no one told me about this. Where are my boys at? They didn’t inform me about this?! Oh come one... or maybe they don’t know neither. I’d better asking them? Or not?
To : Hyuksoo
Do you know Chaerin is here? Yeah Lee Chaerin. Reply me if you know something.
I give up on pretending not to care about Chaerin in Korea. So I texted Hyuksoo because I know Hyuksoo is the one who Chaerin trust this past two years among all the nuthang boys. Yanggeng maybe on of her trustworthy person too but not now. I had ever asked a help from him to look for Chaerin in France before I went to DMZ for service. He told me he couldn’t find Chaerin anywhere in France. As if Chaerin just dissapear into the wind. Only Hyuksoo reported to me on his email when I was in DMZ, that he met Chaerin in France. He told me she is okay.
By that I assume Chaerin only trust Hyuksoo. Or, Hyuksoo is the only one I can trust for Chaerin-related stuff.
After waiting like forever – in actual just 30 minutes – Hyuksoo replies my message.
From : Hyuksoo
She is here, we went down town to Gangnam and shopping yesterday. Ji, she’s not ready to meet you. Your theory is right. She’s running away from you, Jiyong. Just give her time.
JUST GIVE HER TIME. I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN HERE EVERYTHING. SH!T. I am so sick of it. What can I do now? Follow Hyuksoo’s advise and not disturbing Chaerin’s me-time phase? SERIOUSLY .. SHE HAS THIS TWO YEARS FOR HER ME TIME AND THAT’S ENOUGH. I will confront her. No.. I must confront her. She made me this broke. She has to see this. She has too see this sickening side of me because of her. She has to understand for every action there would be a reaction.
***
HOME SWEET HOME. I open the door and taa-daa. Welcome back to your life, mr Gdragon. There’s nothing like home besides your own home. When I was a child, my parents’ home was my home. Now that I grow up and see things in a different perspective.. I think this is my home.
Two years ago, I also had another place I call as home. It’s not belong to my parents, neither my sister. Two years ago, I have another place besides my home that I call home and feel like my own home. It’s not because of the place, neither the interiors. Two years ago, that home was taken from me. Or maybe not? I still have the card.
Chaerin, maybe the first thing I should confront to you is about home. Your home.. my another home. I think I should go there. I believe Chaerin is living there because it’s not that far to YG building where she back to work after the past two years missing around. It’s presently a lunch. I am hungry and I know where I can get the food I need.
***
I swap the card and press the combination number. The door is in all access to be opened. She doesn’t change the password. Good thing for me. She’s not here. I look around the living room, it smells exactly the same since the last time I was here. I go to the kitchen, I can see she is preparing something for lunch and it’s in a big portion. I mean.. not just a lunch for herself.
The door is opened again. Someone come here?
“Good job, now come into your new house ladies and gentleman…” I can hear Chaerin’s voice from the outside. She is with someone else? “Naeun do not run like that. You might be fallen down..” now that another voice I haven’t heard before. A boy, yes a baby voice which his words is not even clear yet.
“Naeun, listen to your oppa. Don’t run inside the house like that. Come here! Eomma will show you all your bedroom. You must be so happy to see it!” Chaerin says as she come inside the home. Wait a second. Eomma? Does she just mentioned herself as eomma? The mother of two cutest boys and girls in front of me right now? They can’t see me because the partition was designed to make everyone in the kitchen can see outside to the living room but those who are there can’t see inside the kitchen.
“Naeun want to see.. want to see…” says the little girl. She jumps around in happiness. Even more happy and I can hear she screams in happiness to see her room. Oh my god! Are they Chaerin’s children? She has two children already? But they seem like in a same age. So.. twins? OH GOD! NO... No.. It can’t be Chaerin’s children with another man. NO. NO!
I walk into the living room, sit in the nearest couch. I wait while thinking. Could they be my children? Oh man.. I was a single holly- brokenhearted guy last night and now I am a !ng bad father who has no idea about my children. My heart. Jesus.
“Jiyong oppa?” I don’t realize Chaerin is here already. She looks at me in scary like I am a ghost myself. OH DEAR. She is even more beautiful. Sh!t this devil. How can she manage me to fallen for her again after she brokes my heart?! What curse she has on me?!
Control yourself Jiyong. Control yourself. “Anyeonghasseyo, Chaerin-ah. Long time no see…” try to calm down Jiyong.
“How.. when… no.. what… oh.. .. how can you be here?” she is lost. She can’t even control herself. I enjoy this. To find that I am not the only one who turns freak of this.. I am so happy.
“First, I still have your copy of code card and you didn’t change the password as well. I am about to visit you today and ask you out for lunch but you’re not home. So I decided to wait for you inside…” I answer her honestly.
“That’s a felony…” she screams. !NGLY SCREAM AT ME. DAMN YOU! I want to angry and scream back but I just laughed. Laughing at myself because doesn’t care how many times my brain keep telling me I am mad at her, my hearts always go back way.
“You said felony? Now tell me what felony is, Chae! Leaving without any farewell, without any reason, without any hesitation, without any mercy? You tell me what felony is, Chae…” I try to be honest with her. This is me now. Fragile. Because of her.
“I remember Dami unnie said that you will release from army in two weeks. Why are you here? Kka! Go back to your obligation!”
I laugh again. She asks me to back into DMZ, the scariest zone? Hell yeah. “I speed up my released. Not a big deal. But you.. you are such a big deal, Chae...”
“Eomma... Who’s that man?” a little cute boy whose steps is not yet sturdy come into us and asking to chaerin who the hell I am. Chaerin, you really make a big mistake. “Joeun… go back…” Chaerin looks into him and tell him to go. GO AWAY FROM ME.. LIKE YOU DO CHAERIN. NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU DO THAT.
“Hello boy! I am Jiyong ahjussi.. and you?” I walk into him, slowly. Try my best not to scare this little boy and make him affraid of me.
“OH! Annyeonghasseyo Jiyong ahjussi, I am Lee Joeun, it’s a pleasure to meet you..” he bows to me and I am so impressed by his good manner. OH THIS SMART YOUNG BOY... POSSIBLY MY BOY. I CAN SEE MY BLUEPRINT ON HIM AS I GET CLOSER TO HIM. Lee Joeun.. Lee Joeun. OH GOSH. Chaerin... you hurt me more, do you know. You make this smart boy become your children not even let any ‘Kwon’ on him.
It’s even hurter than she left me. She left me bring my children. MY CHILDREN.
OH GOSH.
***
author's note : DMZ is The Korean Demilitarized Zone, a strip of land running across the Korean Peninsula that serves as a buffer zone between North and South Korea. The DMZ is a de-facto border barrier, which runs along the 38th parallel north. The DMZ cuts the Korean Peninsula roughly in half, crossing the 38th parallel on an angle, with the west end of the DMZ lying south of the parallel and the east end lying north of it. It was created as part of the Korean Armistice Agreement between North Korea, the People's Republic of China, and the United Nations Command forces in 1953.
A month ago, my senior in army came and told me that I should be back to Seoul because my service obligations was close to over. Frankly, I am not okay with that. The fact that I have spent my two years close to danger and I couldn’t even make myself die in this scariest place in the world... that’s .
“Jiyong, someone is visiting you!” that’s Jongdeon’s voice. He is my roommate here. After thank him for telling me about the visitor I go out from bed room to the office room in the army quarter wehere everyone here usually see their visitors. OH WOW! She is here?
“Noona.. I thought you were still busy with your new born child?” I hug her tight. It’s so relieve to see her again after two years.
“Actually I want to bring my children here to meet you, but it’s an unplanned visits..” Dami noona says and I boost one of my eyebrow. She sees it and continue with her explanation, “It’s true I want to meet you.. Oh come on it’s been almost two years! But not today actually. I planned to meet you tomorrow since my husband will be coming back from Japan this night. I want him to meet you with me too. Another but.... I met someone I didn’t plan to meet either...”
“Who?” I ask, cut her words. I have a feeling that she reffers to someone I know the best..
“Chaerin.. Lee Chaerin... She is here. Have you known it already?”
I AM SHOCK.
“Oh you’re shock?! So you don’t know as well. That’s good. Jiyong, she is here now. Maybe then you can meet here and finish every problem you to have in back. After that, you can move on and continue your life...” Dami noona keeps talking. I keep breathing... and thinking. I have to get out of this place as soon as posibble.
***
Chaerin is here? Seriously? She is finally here? Wait a minute... no one told me about this. Where are my boys at? They didn’t inform me about this?! Oh come one... or maybe they don’t know neither. I’d better asking them? Or not?
To : Hyuksoo
Do you know Chaerin is here? Yeah Lee Chaerin. Reply me if you know something.
I give up on pretending not to care about Chaerin in Korea. So I texted Hyuksoo because I know Hyuksoo is the one who Chaerin trust this past two years among all the nuthang boys. Yanggeng maybe on of her trustworthy person too but not now. I had ever asked a help from him to look for Chaerin in France before I went to DMZ for service. He told me he couldn’t find Chaerin anywhere in France. As if Chaerin just dissapear into the wind. Only Hyuksoo reported to me on his email when I was in DMZ, that he met Chaerin in France. He told me she is okay.
By that I assume Chaerin only trust Hyuksoo. Or, Hyuksoo is the only one I can trust for Chaerin-related stuff.
After waiting like forever – in actual just 30 minutes – Hyuksoo replies my message.
From : Hyuksoo
She is here, we went down town to Gangnam and shopping yesterday. Ji, she’s not ready to meet you. Your theory is right. She’s running away from you, Jiyong. Just give her time.
JUST GIVE HER TIME. I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN HERE EVERYTHING. SH!T. I am so sick of it. What can I do now? Follow Hyuksoo’s advise and not disturbing Chaerin’s me-time phase? SERIOUSLY .. SHE HAS THIS TWO YEARS FOR HER ME TIME AND THAT’S ENOUGH. I will confront her. No.. I must confront her. She made me this broke. She has to see this. She has too see this sickening side of me because of her. She has to understand for every action there would be a reaction.
***
HOME SWEET HOME. I open the door and taa-daa. Welcome back to your life, mr Gdragon. There’s nothing like home besides your own home. When I was a child, my parents’ home was my home. Now that I grow up and see things in a different perspective.. I think this is my home.
Two years ago, I also had another place I call as home. It’s not belong to my parents, neither my sister. Two years ago, I have another place besides my home that I call home and feel like my own home. It’s not because of the place, neither the interiors. Two years ago, that home was taken from me. Or maybe not? I still have the card.
Chaerin, maybe the first thing I should confront to you is about home. Your home.. my another home. I think I should go there. I believe Chaerin is living there because it’s not that far to YG building where she back to work after the past two years missing around. It’s presently a lunch. I am hungry and I know where I can get the food I need.
***
I swap the card and press the combination number. The door is in all access to be opened. She doesn’t change the password. Good thing for me. She’s not here. I look around the living room, it smells exactly the same since the last time I was here. I go to the kitchen, I can see she is preparing something for lunch and it’s in a big portion. I mean.. not just a lunch for herself.
The door is opened again. Someone come here?
“Good job, now come into your new house ladies and gentleman…” I can hear Chaerin’s voice from the outside. She is with someone else? “Naeun do not run like that. You might be fallen down..” now that another voice I haven’t heard before. A boy, yes a baby voice which his words is not even clear yet.
“Naeun, listen to your oppa. Don’t run inside the house like that. Come here! Eomma will show you all your bedroom. You must be so happy to see it!” Chaerin says as she come inside the home. Wait a second. Eomma? Does she just mentioned herself as eomma? The mother of two cutest boys and girls in front of me right now? They can’t see me because the partition was designed to make everyone in the kitchen can see outside to the living room but those who are there can’t see inside the kitchen.
“Naeun want to see.. want to see…” says the little girl. She jumps around in happiness. Even more happy and I can hear she screams in happiness to see her room. Oh my god! Are they Chaerin’s children? She has two children already? But they seem like in a same age. So.. twins? OH GOD! NO... No.. It can’t be Chaerin’s children with another man. NO. NO!
I walk into the living room, sit in the nearest couch. I wait while thinking. Could they be my children? Oh man.. I was a single holly- brokenhearted guy last night and now I am a !ng bad father who has no idea about my children. My heart. Jesus.
“Jiyong oppa?” I don’t realize Chaerin is here already. She looks at me in scary like I am a ghost myself. OH DEAR. She is even more beautiful. Sh!t this devil. How can she manage me to fallen for her again after she brokes my heart?! What curse she has on me?!
Control yourself Jiyong. Control yourself. “Anyeonghasseyo, Chaerin-ah. Long time no see…” try to calm down Jiyong.
“How.. when… no.. what… oh.. .. how can you be here?” she is lost. She can’t even control herself. I enjoy this. To find that I am not the only one who turns freak of this.. I am so happy.
“First, I still have your copy of code card and you didn’t change the password as well. I am about to visit you today and ask you out for lunch but you’re not home. So I decided to wait for you inside…” I answer her honestly.
“That’s a felony…” she screams. !NGLY SCREAM AT ME. DAMN YOU! I want to angry and scream back but I just laughed. Laughing at myself because doesn’t care how many times my brain keep telling me I am mad at her, my hearts always go back way.
“You said felony? Now tell me what felony is, Chae! Leaving without any farewell, without any reason, without any hesitation, without any mercy? You tell me what felony is, Chae…” I try to be honest with her. This is me now. Fragile. Because of her.
“I remember Dami unnie said that you will release from army in two weeks. Why are you here? Kka! Go back to your obligation!”
I laugh again. She asks me to back into DMZ, the scariest zone? Hell yeah. “I speed up my released. Not a big deal. But you.. you are such a big deal, Chae...”
“Eomma... Who’s that man?” a little cute boy whose steps is not yet sturdy come into us and asking to chaerin who the hell I am. Chaerin, you really make a big mistake. “Joeun… go back…” Chaerin looks into him and tell him to go. GO AWAY FROM ME.. LIKE YOU DO CHAERIN. NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU DO THAT.
“Hello boy! I am Jiyong ahjussi.. and you?” I walk into him, slowly. Try my best not to scare this little boy and make him affraid of me.
“OH! Annyeonghasseyo Jiyong ahjussi, I am Lee Joeun, it’s a pleasure to meet you..” he bows to me and I am so impressed by his good manner. OH THIS SMART YOUNG BOY... POSSIBLY MY BOY. I CAN SEE MY BLUEPRINT ON HIM AS I GET CLOSER TO HIM. Lee Joeun.. Lee Joeun. OH GOSH. Chaerin... you hurt me more, do you know. You make this smart boy become your children not even let any ‘Kwon’ on him.
It’s even hurter than she left me. She left me bring my children. MY CHILDREN.
OH GOSH.
***
author's note : DMZ is The Korean Demilitarized Zone, a strip of land running across the Korean Peninsula that serves as a buffer zone between North and South Korea. The DMZ is a de-facto border barrier, which runs along the 38th parallel north. The DMZ cuts the Korean Peninsula roughly in half, crossing the 38th parallel on an angle, with the west end of the DMZ lying south of the parallel and the east end lying north of it. It was created as part of the Korean Armistice Agreement between North Korea, the People's Republic of China, and the United Nations Command forces in 1953.
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