Happiness (BAERI)
Bigbang one shots collection (Seungri centric)a/n 1: First of all. let me explain. I wrote this fic after jiko pictures came out. I was hurt (not literally but my gri feeling) and I need to comfort my heart, so I wrote this almost instantaneously. After I was done, I felt reluctant to post it and hold it back until now. I hope you all can enjoy this. Please do~ :)
a/n 2: This story is all in Seungri's POV
Jiyong’s happiness in the photos was genuine. After years of waiting and heartache, he has finally found his happiness. Who am I to deny that? If asked, I should be the first person to cheer for that. Jiyong being happy has always been in my prayers. Jiyong’s not mine. Because who am I to ask so much? I don’t want to be greedy. I couldn’t. I just want him to be happy and I will never ask for more than that. Jiyong’s happiness is my happiness. This is what I always believed.
What about me? I've been hearing people asking if I am alright with all this, if I was hurting because of this. I am not an angel. Of course I feel hurt. But that is not important to me. I am strong. I will always be his strong baby. How could I let him down? If being with her makes him happy, then that's the fact I'm willing to accept. And eventually I will find my happiness too, it’s just not my turn yet. I am not giving up.
And please don't say I am a hypocrite. Do you want to see me crumble and crying? Do you want me to destroy that sweet smile on his face? Never in my life will I do that. Not to my beloved one. I.. Lee Seungri is not that kind of person.
"Seungri-ah... I'm here. I'm always here. You know that right?"
I look at my side, the person that always care for and love me. The person that always wish for my happiness. The person that I always neglected. My sweet Youngbae hyung. His kindness always hurts me because I can't return it the way he wish for. I understand now. I understand why he has never said anything every time I choose Jiyong over him. How he just watched whenever Jiyong abruptly took me away from him. At that time I wondered why he didn’t fight for my love. I was wondering if he really did love me.
And I conveniently assumed that his feelings were not true. I chose to be ignorant and avoid the truth. The complication that would only make my heart heavy. How cruel I
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