It wasn’t me that he looked at. It was them. He was looking at the fans. He said the fans are everything to him. He lived for the fans.

But I always looked at him. I looked at him intensely so that he will understand what was inside my eyes. But he was still ignorant, did he never notice me? Or is that his choice. To be ignorant is a bless. That’s what he often tell me.

You are my tory. We are nyongtory. I want it to be more than a fanservice. I want it to be real.

“Hyung.. What did you have that I don’t? People just love you but I have to do everything to be loved. I wish to be more like you. I wish I can understand my lacking. Is it hard for people to love me?”

It break my heart hearing this. Don’t you know that you mean world to me? What is the love that you are seeking Ri? I am here and I am always here. I didn’t know what they are looking into me because I am always looking into you. You, you are my special maknae. You are my special Seungri and I was always scared that they will take you away.

Can you stop looking for them?

“Hyung… I don’t think I am good enough. I think people hate me because I am not good enough. I am not talented like the hyungs. I was annoying. I am the burden of Bigbang. I didn’t add in to the dynamic of Bigbang.”

Who said so to you that hatred word Ri? Bigbang cannot be without you. It will never be the same. We all agree on it and we all love you so much. And I love you very much.

“Seungri-ah.. You are important to Bigbang. You are needed here. I always love you and I always look-up after you. Don’t you see my love? You are my pillar. You makes me smile and you are my everything because Bigbang is my everything. Ri, you are Bigbang.”

That was Yongbae confession to him. I always know how much Yongbae loves Seungri. I always scared of it. Because Yongbae is a great man and I never win when