‘Don’t cry because it ended, smile because it happened.’

I couldn’t stop myself from running my hand through the soft fabrics of your clothes. I really didn’t have the heart to get rid of it all, even after all this time, because maybe I really haven’t moved on; or maybe it was simply the fact that these are one of the few things that have that’s yours. I tried my best to hold back tears as I picked up one of your favorite shirts, inhaling deeply, relishing the scent. It still smells like you. I couldn’t help but smile sadly as I recalled your words.

“Do you really enjoy the way I smell that much?” You asked as you let out a smile that made your eyes curve into adorable slits. Your eye-smile that I just couldn’t get enough of.

“I won’t be seeing you for another 2 months after today; at least let me indulge myself in you a little longer.” I pouted as I looked down, avoiding your gaze.

You untangled my hands that I had unconsciously wrapped around your waist to pull me in closer, pressing my face firmly against your chest. “I know love, but don’t you worry. I’ll be back before you

Know it.”

I reluctantly pulled myself away from your chest to gaze intently at your eyes, unable to quell the uncertainty that’s building up inside of my chest. “Promise?” I asked, tone pleading like a child.

“I promise.”

Promise.

I chuckled bitterly. You promised me you’d come back but after 2 months, 2 lonely months; 2 months of hoping, waiting, all I got back was a letter. Did you have any idea how much pain you’ve put me through? That day, the day you were supposed to return, I waited. Patiently. I sat by the window, waiting for the familiar cab to drop you off in front of our house where I’d run towards you with tears in my eyes and a bright smile decorating my face, welcoming you home. But it never happened, instead, I sat there, tears uncontrollably spilling down my eyes, staining my face and soaking my clothes. That was the first time after meeting you that I had let my tears fall down like that but I didn’t care. I didn’t care that I probably looked like a complete mess. I didn’t care that I was probably making a scene, our neighbors passing through our house could probably see me and they might think I’ve gone crazy, but it didn’t bother me at all. The only thing that was running through my mind was that, there would be no one to wipe my tears away anymore.

“Dongwoo-ah, have you ever thought of what you would want to do after graduation?” You asked as we were seated on the rooftop’s edge, feet dangling over while you gazed out into the horizon.

I looked at you curiously. It wasn’t like you to be so serious. In fact, today might have been the first time you even gave your future a single thought.

I shook my head. “Honestly no. Maybe I’ll just go where life takes me.” I replied nonchalantly. “Why do you ask? Do you have any plans for the future already?”

You looked at me, eyes gentle. “Well, I guess so. I’ve been doing some thinking lately and I’m considering about joining the army. Not just for our mandatory military service, but to really enter the army. To fight for our country, to defend our honor; to make a difference.” You replied proudly before turning back into your sheepish, awkward self “But of course it’s just a thought.” You concluded, rubbing the back of your neck.

I was so taken aback by the conviction in your voice as you talked about joining the army that it actually took me by surprise. It was the first time I’ve heard you talk about something so passionately about that I couldn’t help but smile. “If that is what you really want to do, there’s nothing stopping you.”

You were always so sure of what you wanted to do. You wanted to make a change. You wanted to make the world a better place for all of us. You were willing to sacrifice everything for others. I guess that’s what made me fall in love with you. I’ve always admired your courage, the courage I never had. It was your ardent desire to offer your services to others that made me fall for you in the first place. It was your selflessness that I’ve always admired, even when we were young. I couldn’t help but feel proud. The man who saved me from drowning in my own sorrows, was now the man who was able to rescue hundreds of people and whom thousands owe their lives to.

It’s surprising really, how no matter how disappointed I was with you, I could never stay angry at you for a long time. No matter what you did, and no matter how upset your actions made me, each time I look into those small eyes of yours, I couldn’t help but feel bad about getting mad at you. It’s no fair Lee Sunggyu. Why do I feel like I’m the only one who gets hurt in our relationship?

“Dongwoo-ahh, I know you aren’t pleased with my decision, but please do try to understand that I’m not making this decision for myself. It’s what I have to do.” I watch you plead as you ran your hands through your hair, dejectedly.

I couldn’t help but eye the letter in disgust. What I imagined to be a perfect happy family is now being ruined by one single letter.

I felt him walk towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer and pressing your face against the back of my neck. I couldn’t help but relax in your embrace, relishing what might be the final moment I’ll have with you.

“I know it’s a long time my love, but please, do wait for me. Hold on to our memories, all those times we shared, so that you’ll never feel lonely.”

Date Accomplished: 10/ 13/ 16

Word Count: 1,222