Daesung’s POV

I love her. I love her with every part of my being. I love her…

…But loving someone with all the possible might can take a toll on you. Loving someone can be a heavy burden. Giving up every part of yourself for someone can be such a happy feeling, but it is mostly pain.

You have a choice - learn from the pain or continue in an ignorant bliss.

I was hazed by the ignorant bliss.

I was hazed by my naivety.

After what happened between us, I had no choice but to force my feelings away. I took the heart that leapt for her and locked it away.

“What do you mean by ‘bury?’ “ Youngbae asked, confused by my words.

Sighing, I fell back in my seat and rested my head in my hands. I gave up on her.

***

 Anika’s POV

I collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily. Dancing was peaceful, in a sense. My mind managed to drift away from the troubling thoughts. I was able to temporarily forget about reality for an hour. For once, I didn’t feel bothered.

“You’ve improved,” said a voice, disturbing the sweet silence.

I opened my eyes, greeted by the sight of BIGBANG’s maknae. “Thank you,” I answered flatly, rolling on to my stomach.

It became silent after that. Seungri shifted uncomfortably under my scrutinizing gaze. The tension stifling the air was getting to him, not making him feel any better. I, on the other hand, felt strangely calm. The sight of him didn’t bother me, and the uncomfortable atmosphere wasn’t getting to me.

“Do you want me to leave?” finally asking, breaking the silence between us.

He was hesitant for a moment. What for, though? It’s a simple yes or no question…

“I want to dance…with you…” he mumbled, his eyes not meeting mine. Was there a hint of redness in his face? “As…as apology. I know I can’t remember much about what happened, but that does not excuse what I said to you or hyung.”

I eyed the maknae skeptically. What a weird way to apologize to someone. “How does that work out?”

“People dance to express feelings or a message, right? Well, I wanted to do that with you. I thought if I came up to you and simply said “I’m sorry, Anika,” I know you wouldn’t take it. So, what other way could I express how sorry I feel?” Seungri explained, taking a step closer to me.

Silence treaded after Seungri’s words. I remained on the floor, calculating every part of his face. Seungri had a quirk, a certain give away whenever he’d lie or he didn’t mean what he’d say. There was no sign of it when I read his face over once more. Sighing, I hoisted myself up and met him at arms length.

“Dancing as an apology… Never cease to amaze me, Panda.”

***

 “I’m pretty sure that is the longest I’ve ever danced,” I panted in between struggling breaths.

“I didn’t know you could move you your hips like that,” Seungri commented, his sweaty mass sprawled out on the floor.

A smirk stretched across my face. “Of course you’d say something like that…”

“Now I have a dance partner when we go out to the clubs,” Panda chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fat chance,” I murmured, getting up to pack my bag.

My ears caught Seungri’s chuckle. He knew how I felt when it came to dancing. I feel insecure while watching myself in the mirror. It’s worse when I’m people, especially BIGBANG and the girls.

“Nikki,” Seungri called, a peculiar tone to his voice, “can I ask you something?”

I plopped down next to him, my bag following suit. “If it means going to the club, no.”

“No, no. It’s not that… It’s about…” he trailed off for a moment. I took notice to this sudden nervous in his eyes. “It’s about you and hyung…”

No. No, no, no. Not again. I refuse to talk about that again. I grabbed my bag and hastily went for the door. But I was pulled back by this sudden force; Seungri’s grip on my wrist. “Ri, let go…” I hissed, facing him.

“Do you love him?” he asked, ignoring my protest.

Goddamnit. Why doesn’t any of them ing realize I don’t like talking about this?! “Seungri, if you don’t let go of me right now,” I growled.

“Do you love him?”

Why the hell is so adamant about this?! “Lee Seunghyun, this is the last time I’m going to warn you - let go of me right now.”

“Do you love him?”

“Are those the only words you know how to say?! Do you not understand me? Damnit, Seungri! Let me go!”

If he wasn’t going to listen, I was going to make him. With my free arm, I hoisted my bag around to hit him, but he stopped me midway with his free arm. We were now tangled with one another, and I couldn’t break free. He’s stronger than me…

“Do. You. Love. Him.”

“Why does it matter to you? To any of you!?”

“Because we all want the two of you to be happy. You and hyung are meant to be together,” Seungri answered me calmly. What’s with that weird look in his eyes? “The two of you are meant for each other.”

 'The two of you are meant for each other.’ That’s what dad said the night before he died…

Fighting back the urge of the sudden tears, I diverted my eyes else where. “Did it ever cross any of your minds that I may love him, but I don’t want to be? That I don’t want to love him?”

The sudden change of Seungri’s expression made me know instantly something was wrong. His eyes were now in another direction, no longer connected with mine. I slowly turned my head to where his eyes were. I now utterly regret doing so, because I did not want to see that person standing in the door way.