Chapter 1

“Hey snap out of it!” Kevin almost shouted on Eli’s ear. The older man looked at him in confusion and raises his brow in question. Kevin’s brows knitted together.

 “What is it?” Eli said making Kevin gasp in surprise. Eli is not listening.

“I said where you would want to go next?!” Kevin said impatience.

Eli thought for a moment and answered; “Maybe to go eat. You, where do you want go?” Kevin’s smile came back after his boyfriend’s spacing out moment again. He suggest something and Eli agreed. Kevin held Eli’s hand but he didn’t have a reaction so he looks down and they continue walking.

It was their last two days in Japan and they didn’t have any schedule for the rest of the day except tomorrow afternoon. They will be attending a show for their final farewell for the Japanese Kiss ME’s. They’ll be back to Korea for their upcoming album. All of the members are resting except the two. Kevin wanted to have the final rest to be a date for them.

 They are currently walking down the downtown to find some good restaurant and Eli is spacing out. He’s is spacing out a lot lately. He looks at the boy next to him and smile. He didn’t know what happen but he is somehow restless. Sure he is holding his loves hand but there is something wrong, it doesn’t calm him. He hates to think the words running down his head. He hates to think that his feeling for his Kevin is fading like a ghost. He wraps his arm around Kevin’s shoulders and held him close, but nothing. The old feeling was gone. Long gone.

He can’t feel it again, the same old feeling. The feeling when Kevin confess’ his love to Eli and how Eli said he Love Kevin too. The feeling when he first saw the younger singer’s true nature. The feeling when they held hands and would stay close in the night. Eli can’t feel the same feeling again. He would look at the Kevin and he hope it will come back, but it didn’t.

They finally arrive at the restaurant and find a seat. They both order and talk. Kevin is the one who talk the whole minute. Eli is just listening, wondering. Why in the world it was gone, just like a dust blown by the wind. Where did it go? Would it come back? He didn’t know.

His thought was interrupted by the food and they started to eat. As they finish Kevin spoke again.

“Eli would you miss Japan?” He asked and Eli almost scoffs in his question.

“Of course! I would miss it, the places, the food and the Kiss ME’s.” Eli answered honestly.

“How about me? We wouldn’t be together in Korea all the time, you know?” Kevin asked.

“Of course I would miss you too. But we can always meet up, right?”

Kevin smiles, “Of course. I would do anything just to see my pigeon.” He smiles, the sweet smile he shows for Eli and Eli only. By that Eli wanted to mentally kick himself for doubting anything, but he also knows it will fade away soon enough.

Kevin is still smiling to his boyfriend lovingly and Eli would think. There would be moments, like this, when the feeling Eli once had for Kevin would appear and he could truly smile around Kevin.

Maybe he can still love Kevin the way he used to do. He can’t hurt the angel he love. He should correct his words; the angel he used to love. He can’t think of any listen-worthy reason for it. He doesn’t even know how it disappeared. Maybe it just stepped out of him on the night months ago before he felt empty. Maybe it was just lost somewhere in him and he needed it now. Maybe truly, he didn’t love Kevin anymore like he used too. Maybe, just maybe.

 He groan to himself, he is now frustrated. Unfortunately, Kevin heard his groan making him worry.

“Hey! You okay?” he asked concern, he slowly Eli’s hands.

“Nothing. Just tired.” He lied, as always.

So Kevin decided they should go back to rest. They paid and walk back to the dorm in silence.

~*~

Kevin is already sitting on the bed they share as Eli entered their room. Kevin eyed him as he sits beside his lover. Eli finally noticed Kevin’s small gesture.

“What?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Kevin’s small waist, pulling him closer.

“Nothing, just thinking?” Kevin answered, snuggling closer to his pigeon’s warm body.

“What is it?”

“Just thinking about you spacing a lot lately. Is there any problem?” Kevin asked, turning around Eli’s embrace.

“No. There are no problems.” He lied, again.

Kevin looked at him momentarily and then move closer to Eli’s lips. Eli move too, closing the distance and then they kiss. It was the passionate kiss they always share. It was the only thing Eli notice that haven’t change. It always drives him high and crazy. Kevin moves his fingers through Eli’s hair to deepen the kiss. Eli can’t take it anymore. He pushed Kevin down the bed and kisses him again, this time he work down the younger’s jawline. Kevin is already panting hard but it escalates as Eli nipped at his sensitive skin. His hands are tugging down on Eli’s hair begging for more, but his sense kicked in and he tried to push Eli away.

“Eli… no, don’t do it here.” He said between breaths, “They might be awake.” He added.

Kevin is right. He can’t do it in the dorm with sleeping people. He sat up and wiped away the remaining saliva on his mouth. He tried catching his breath too. He looked down at the other boy, mouth partly open to accommodate the air he needed. Yes, it was the impossibly y look on Kevin and it was hard for Eli to control himself.

“I’m sorry for this.” He said the red bruise on Kevin’s neck. But Kevin just smile.

He still sitting near Kevin and review his emotion. He is so damn sure he felt more on Kevin than the past month the love was gone. He felt the same feeling he felt when they first do it. It was back, at least. But he would hate his self when he even think that he is just using Kevin as ual release than truly making love with his lover.

That was ing awful Eli. At least bet some freaking sense to yourself. He scolded his self.

He heaved a sigh and crawled back to bed and lay next to Kevin. Maybe it would pass soon, he hope so, to stop his doubts.

“Let’s just sleep, okay?” he suggested and Kevin nodded

They cuddled closer and their bodies match again, just like before. Soon enough sleep claimed them.

~*~

A/N:  it's my first here please take care of me!! ^^