A shuffle of papers. The classroom is an ever moving plane of activity, a place that knows no bad news when there are over two dozen people packed into a single area. Its inhabitants would never acknowledge the lack of existence unless it hit them in the face.

Roll-call is the start of daily silences. Names are called out one after the other, followed by the usual "here!" Until one.

"Kim Jongin?" Mr. Kim says. "Kim Jongin? Is he absent again?"

Someone in the back shouts out, "He left after lunch yesterday!"

Loud whispers erupt at the return of the memory of Jongin's burst of erse hormones, or so everyone says. 'Poor Kyungsoo' were the words most frequently heard in those short seconds. They all think he had been the victim. Played by Kim Jongin. Who knew one of their class idols had been such a bad boy?

"Absent, then," Mr. Kim frowns as he marks an "X" next to Jongin's name, the second one in a row after the previous day. "If anyone knows his address, please come see me after class so I can ask you to hand off some papers to him."

No one speaks up.

"All right then," he continues. "I guess we'll move on from that."

There is no better way, Jongin concludes, to drown pain than with more pain. The grumble of his stomach calms the pounding in his head, the ache in his muscles overpowers the throbbing in his heart. Even the nearly unbearable silence of his own room makes his tumble of thoughts go quiet.

He is sick of the outside world. Is he going to die? He can't imagine leaving his room and seeing people again, having to put on that "I'm okay" smile and wave off the incident as a "past mistake". 

There's a temptation to do something utterly stupid. Because he already has, so why not go on? One stupid thing after another, and maybe, just maybe, everything will turn out okay.

Because two negatives make a positive, right?

He's insane, he knows now. Hours locked in his bedroom and he's gone insane. With the last smidgen of willpower he has left, he drags his corpse body out of bed and over to his desk.

Once seated, he has no idea why he did that. What's the resolve in doing anything anymore? He doesn't know why he does this, or that. He doesn't know why he's still here, moping and shattering. He doesn't know why he did what he did, why he's doing what he's doing, what he's going to do.

His life is... pointless now. 

Is that it? Has heartbreak struck him so bad that he is now a ghost in his own shell of a body?

Once top-notch student, Kim Jongin, the amazing. Now his best friend has gone missing. With no shoulder to rely on, he destroyed the happiest relationship he ever had. And for what?

Nothing. That's what.

He regrets it all. In his time of despair, he had to go and make things worse on himself. Because that's what he did. He is Kim Jongin, a bomb only able to detonate himself. 

But how to undo damage that's already been done? He has to pick up the broken pieces of glass and metaphorically glue them back together again. It will leave cracks in the once perfect vase, but he knows he has to manage somehow.

He wonders, sadly, if Kyungsoo is also thinking of him.

With that thought in mind, he pulls out a piece of paper and a black pen.

Breakfast is delivered with the discreet cracking open of the door by Tao. Sehun thinks it makes them seem even more suspicious, but he lets Tao do it anyway. 

It goes like this. There's a knock on the door and Tao starts. He glances over and Sehun can almost see the calculations in his eyes. Even though it's just room service. Even though it's just a guy with their food on a silver platter. 

But he's casual about it, so Sehun isn't as embarrassed as he could've been. After testing the first inch of the open doorway and deciding he's being ridiculous, Tao swings the door fully open, coolly standing there, leaning on his right leg and his hand still against the door frame. He thanks the boy and half-slams the door closed before turning and setting up the meal for the both of them by himself. He puts it on the coffee table and pulls up two chairs on opposite sides. Like back in the house. 

It's nice, Sehun thinks. 

What if it's their last meal together?

He shoves that thought away, stomach dropping at the mere idea. How could his brain think up something like that as Tao is smiling at him? Pulling a chair out for him?

He swallows hard and smiles back. Can't let Tao know his pessimism is acting up again. Not at a moment like this.

It's only breakfast, but it feels homely. Close. He wonders what they're going to do here for the entire day.

"We can't stay another night," Tao informs him upon asking. "It's too risky. On the other hand, going out into public during broad daylight is another thing I'm hoping we won't have to do. While we could hide amongst crowds, we could also get caught and tracked. Our best bet is staying here for a day and leaving sometime in the evening for another place to go." He looks up, chopsticks poking out of his mouth. Cute, Sehun thinks. "Do you have anywhere we could go? Preferably not another hotel. They're all found in the inner city. It's too close."

"But I thought you said friends were too predictable for us to go to."

"Acquaintances then? Someone not too close, but enough to stay a night. I don't know if you know any, but if there's a chance, then I thought it was worth asking. If not, then..." His voice trailed off, thinking of other solutions.

Sehun knew it must be hard on him. "I'll think of someone," he promises. He doesn't know how, but he will. "I'll definitely think of someone." He tries to offer Tao a bite of his own meal. Something to keep him preoccupied from going back to his cold, all business self. Tao closes his mouth over Sehun's chopsticks and gives him a thankful look. "We have all day, don't we? Leave it to me."

That's what he has been dying to say for a while now. Stop letting Tao take all the pressures and dangers himself. Stop being the useless boy that needs to be taken care of twenty-four-seven. He's tired of putting himself and being seen that way. 

He has to do something at least.

"No rush." Tao gives him a weak smile.

"No rush," Sehun agrees.

Tao piles the dishes on the silver tray and drops it off outside their hotel room door.

And Sehun begins the long process of thinking.

The grand double door opens a notch without a sound. It's pushed the rest of the way open by an irritated Minseok, tossing his head to a side to get the reddish-orange bangs out of his eyes. His eyes dart around the house, taking in the wealthy setting, a corner of his lips smirking as he lets out a "ha!"

"Nice place," he comments dryly to the man behind him.

Yi Fan leans against the door to close it, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Isn't it?" He looks a little too smug.

"Can't imagine why you'd let a guy like me in a place like this." Minseok says sarcastically, already looking around to find a quieter, less open room to settle. He mentally curses at Yi Fan for getting all the luxuries and him having to settle with the apartment downtown. Not that he didn't like his apartment, oh no. In fact, his apartment suits him well. The empty silence, the mumbles of traffic at night, the walls of solitude protecting him from the stampede of society. He's an apartment kind of guy. But hey, who wouldn't want a mansion?

Yi Fan ignores the remark. "Let's talk," he says, already walking away.

"We could have done that over the phone," Minseok replies all the while following the butler down the hall.

"Oh? But I have a surprise. And it's not nearly satisfying enough over the phone."

"A surprise from you? That's honestly never a good thing." Minseok watches Yi Fan's shoulders shake as he chuckles.

"I think you'll like this one." He stops in front of a door, his hand on the knob.

"I really doubt--" He stops and gasps as Yi Fan pulls open the door.

His long legs are crossed in front of him and his hands are shoved deep in his pockets. His cat lips curl up towards high cheekbones and suspiciously bright eyes framed by curled caramel-colored hair. As he stands, he puts his arms out a little and face his palms towards them. His smirk widens and he takes overly-confident strides towards them.

"Aren't you pleased? I found your old partner." Yi Fan seems proud at this accomplishment. Of course, their reunion is all for his benefit. But it's a nice scene to witness nonetheless.

Minseok snaps out of his frozen shock and leaps to meet the man halfway. They hug, Minseok's hands gripping at the man's sides hard and fingers digging into the fabric of his expensive suit as he talks, his voice rising with excitement. "Holy , where did you come from? Where the do you think you've been? ing hell! It's been years, you better be sorry for leaving!"

The man closes his eyes, laughing while he musses Minseok's hair. "Wow. Honestly didn't know you were this sentimental." 

Minseok slaps the man's shoulder at the jest as he pulls away only enough for them to still be clutching at each other's arms. "Damn you."

"I missed you too." They stand at equal heights, the other man only a centimeter or so taller. Perfect for gazing into the glint in the man's eyes, always present. Always devious.

"Damn you," Minseok says with a faux bitterness, hugging him again and roughly patting his back. "Damn, I missed you, Jongdae. Damn you to the depths of hell. Damn you."

Jongdae wiggles his way out of Minseok's grasp before pushing his hands through his pockets again in that relaxed, casual way. That's simply how Kim Jongdae lives life: hands in pockets and an easy smile to clear crowds.

"Well, isn't this sweet?" They both turn, remembering Yi Fan is still there in the doorway. Always watching, monitoring. 

Jongdae's face drops. "Are we starting immediately?"

"Huh?" Minseok looks between them, confused. "Excuse you, Yi Fan, but shouldn't I have known if there was an assignment?" His right hand man pride is hurt.

Yi Fan tilts a corner of his lips. "Why don't I give you two a day? It seems I'm overly kind at sparing hours anyway, isn't that right, Minseok?"

"I don't know if I should be offended," he replies.

Jongdae wraps an arm around Minseok's waist. "Not at all, love."

Minseok  an eyebrow at him. "When did you two sound so alike?"

"We spent time. Extra training." Jongdae gives him a peck on the cheek. "But I'm back."

"There's a room down the hall if you two want to talk. Unfortunately, this room is not one of the ones we can leave marks in." He raises a hand as he departs in a farewell. "Enjoy your time."

It sounds almost threatening the way he wishes them well. But they take it. They stare at each other, unsure how to start on the years they were apart.

"Hey," Jongdae starts, "I still have the ring." He puts up his left hand to show off the silver band on his middle finger.

"So do I." Minseok shows him his own identical ring, a mirror image of Jongdae's.

"I miss those days."

"So do I."

Another pause.

"How do I even begin?" Jongdae asks, his face slightly contorting with hesitation.

"Do you... remember the promise?" Minseok points to the ring.

Jongdae's ease is back. "Of course I do."

"Survive," Minseok starts.

Jongdae finishes, "Together."

They lace their fingers together. "No matter who or what," Minseok whispers. "I've missed you, brother."

Yi Fan makes his way down the hall, arms singing casually by his side like a model strutting down the runway. He straightens his tie, a sort of unconscious tendency as he turns it left and right, and pats it down once, swiping away at imaginary dust.

He arrives at his intended destination and stops at the doorway. 

The house is rather cold now that he doesn't have to turn up the heating for its original occupants. And he likes it. Winter is meant to be cold as summers are meant to be hot, as flowers are meant to be bright, as suits are meant to be worn well. And Wu Yi Fan is very particular about his attire. A cold atmosphere for a cold man. Fitting.

His slender fingers caress the door handle for a second before turning and pushing it open with a dramatic flare. His eyes flit around the empty room and he takes a step in.

The bed is positively spotless, as if no one had lived there at all. It is because of those days, he knows. Habits die hard. The rest of the room had, apparently, not been victim to Tao's cleaning eye. His few clothes are scattered on the other side of the bedroom in piles, as though he had had to keep his disorganized self from his neat self lest chaos ensue.

He makes it to the bed in three long steps and scoops up the rectangular object on the sheets. It's a phone. More specifically, a paid phone. 

"Oh, dear," he mutters to himself. "Left me no way to hear your voice again, did you?"

He flips it around and around in his hand mindlessly before throwing it back on the bed. There's no use to it anymore. No point.

Is he wrong? Has his ways been, perhaps, not the right way to go about things?

No. It's too late to doubt everything he's been doing up until this point. He's gone too far. There's no way back except to face death in the eye -- or worse. 

He can't be wrong. There's no other way. 

He leaves with one last glance around the room. This is where his "dear" resided, where he once was and maybe never will be again. This cold, dark room is where he slept. That small pillow is where he rested his head and that double bed is where he stretched his lean body. He could have sat at that desk chair and idled on that couch. 

And that's when the thought strikes him, with his hand just about to close the door behind him. Maybe, maybe, it is that he has been wrong about another thing. Maybe years spent with cruel motivations to his life's purpose had been for the sake of the wrong person. Maybe his heart has been rusted over with the incorrect procedures to achieve his goal. Maybe he has been aiming for the wrong soul all along.

Anger makes his blood boil. Has he been fooled? How devious this world could be if he has!

He shakes the thoughts out of his head. Doubts. Even mortal downfalls can get to him these days. He is too eager for the kill, that's all. No, in his head he knows that Zi Tao could not have been anyone else but his dear, and that had been made final to him years ago. 

He is facing complications. But a man like him can get over them easily. 

Yi Fan his lips before saying to the room, "It's a pity."

He would make sure that room would not be empty for long.

Sehun's head is neatly tucked into the crook of Tao's neck, his arm draped over the latter's chest. His eyelashes flutter as he moves gently up and down with every breath. Tao holds him close with a hand on his back, his own head propped up on the hotel pillows.

He'd fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the movie, some old film that had been repeatedly playing on the hotel tv's limited cable. It had been last resort to turn it on in the first place. They'd spent the afternoon enjoying each other's presence in the most simplest of ways, the occasional smile and chatter, usually followed by a casual gesture of affection or a peck here and there. It had been a nice experience of sorts.

Tao knows Sehun is used to it. The confinement. And it's no good thing either. He needs to go out into the world and live life, but here he is being held in a hotel and told he can't go outside or he'll be killed. He can only hope that when Sehun grows up, he'll forget this portion of his life and only remember that he made it. He will make it. Tao will make sure of it.

It's an impending thought that he knows he is now supporting the weight of a life on his shoulders. The training he'd received feels like it was centuries ago. He'd been made to do other things, the complete opposite of this. Yet here he is.

No regrets.

The day outside has wisped its way to the drawl of evening with silent snowfalls and whispered winds. The tv outshines their two windows for now, flickering as scenes change with the advancement of the movie plot. Tao is not paying any more attention to it than the rest of the room.

He lifts Sehun's arm off of him and slides his head onto the pillows with utmost caution. With light steps, he walks over to the coffee machine and pours himself another cup, the second one today. Behind him he hears the shuffling of blankets as Sehun shifts in his restless sleep. Tao sighs as he looks upon this wonder. He knows it's the one place he cannot protect Sehun: his dreams. He can only wake him when he's gone too deep, and even then, when he's pulling him back to the real world, it doesn't feel like enough.

He drains the cup of the dark liquid and lets the warmth flow through his body. Placing the mug down, he figures he should make use of his time with some more trivial measures. A shower. 

Every step Tao takes, he takes it quietly. The boy needs sleep, however much he can get. Even if it means nightmare filled hours. 

In seconds, he's stripped of his clothes and turning the shower knob to "HOT" with the door closed behind him and the bright bathroom light shining down. The water falls from the shower head, heating up with a painful sluggishness. 

Tao watches the water slip right through his fingertips, trickles of lukewarm drops on his palm one second and through the drain the next. 

It's so close, he knows, but he can't get his grasp on it. Where is their exit?

A/N Hi everyone! Hmmm does the update seem a little short? Maybe because....

THERE'S A BONUS?!?!!?!!?!?!??!?! CLICK HERE FOR 90%! (WARNING: RATED M FOR . You do NOT have to read this. It doesn't exactly advance plot in any way and is only provided for the many who have been asking for some action between the two ;) hahaha erted, aren't you guys? But, as I was saying, if you don't read this, you can wait for the next update, which is PERFECTLY FINE.) THANK YOU TO KIISEUMI FOR WRITING THIS SCENE FOR ME! <3 THANK YOU FOR THE HARD WORK AND I LOVE IT ;u; I rreally appreciate you doing this for me hehe and I hoPE MY DEAR READERS LIKE IT TO. GO MESSAGE KIISEUMI. TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT

P.S. guys, this counts as a double update lol

P.P.S. Sundays are a horrible time to update TTnTT no one's online...

I posted it on livejournal because, due to AFF regulations, posting it here means having to rate Metal "M". And, I hope you all know by now, this story is not M. Therefore, I resorted to using my livejournal.

;u; this story has gotten some talk lately and it makes me so happy ;u; thank you so much, everyone, for all the support for this story. I seriously love you guys ;U;