Bang Yongguk's point of view

Kim Himchan. That's a name I haven't heard someone else say in months... alright, let's make that two years to be exact. When Chief Kim Byeong-ok told me I'd be partnered with him, I was thinking maybe it was another Kim Himchan. Who knows? Maybe there's another person by that name. But I guess I was wrong. Seeing Himchan at the cafe, he hasn't changed. His hair grew but his face is the same. His sharp jaw, thick lips and long neck that trails down to his collar bone peeking through his jacket. I place my hand over my chest and my heart beats the same for him. I missed him. He told me not to contact him and yet we're going to be contacting each other from now on. Is this destiny? Oh... he spotted me. I think he's saying my name. I smile thinking it's a good thing. So he remembers me at least.

"Hey..." I greet him.

He gives me a crooked smile. Is he being cold? Maybe he hasn't changed on the outside but he's definitely not acting the same as before. I sit down on the empty chair in front of him and try to be as natural as possible. Can he tell I'm nervous as hell? I just smile to cover my nerves. I remove my sunglasses so I can look at him better.

"So... here we are," I say.

"Yeah, here we are..."

Oh, God... we're so awkward now. What do I do? What do I say? At times like this, is it good to bring up the past? No. That's not good. Say something... SAY SOMETHING!

"Who would've thought we'd be assigned partners, huh? Small world."

Really, Bang Yongguk? This is the best you can come up with? Ugh. Stupid brain. How about I just tell him I'm looking forward to working with him? Yeah. That's safe to say. As I'm about to say what I practiced in my head--

“I have an appointment. Uhm. I-I’ll just see you at the station tomorrow,” Himchan tells me.

I-Is that it? We came out here to a cafe for just a hi-bye session? He grabs his bag. This is like deja vu. I don't want him to leave again.

“Wait. Don’t you want to talk?”

“If you have something to tell me, you can tell me tomorrow. I have to go.”

Himchan is walking away... again. Why? What is he afraid of? Should I follow him? No,  I shouldn't do that. I'll just make things worse and we haven't even officially started working together. It's best I just stay here. I'll just confront him when I see him at NIS. I'm sure we'll have an opportunity to talk. If not, I'll make one.

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Another day, another pain in the . Kim Sunggyu is being his usual self and scolding the lower rank agents for no reason except that he has an inferiority complex and wants to feel superior when he can. I leave the first floor briefing room and head out to the lobby. Chief told me to meet him there. When I walk down the long flight of stairs to curve towards the middle of the ground floor lobby, I see Chief speaking with Himchan. I smile again. Seeing Himchan just changed my entire day.

"And here he comes now."

I bow to the Chief and continue to smile at Himchan. He's looking good today but he doesn't seem happy to see me. 

"Kim Himchan, this is your partner. Bang Yongguk. He's a rank one field agent so he's not that much of your senior. He'll be helping you train for the field as well. Be kind to one another while I'm gone, okay? No rough housing."

The Chief pats Himchan on the back and walks away. Himchan's acting like I'm a stranger and doesn't want to stick around. I try to joke him, maybe he will lighten up.

"We meet again, Kim Himchan. You haven't changed since I last saw you at the cafe."

I thought he'd laugh and play along but apparently he doesn't want to do that. He throws me a fake smile and walks towards the elevators. He presses the up button and is tapping his foot impatiently. I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder and to get his attention but he brushes it off.

"Hey, Himchan-ah, don't be rude. I'm just playing..."

"We already know each other. I don't think self-introductions are needed."

I sigh at his remark. Is he going to keep acting like a child with me? Fine. If a game is what he wants, it's a game he will get. The elevator arrives and we both enter. Does Himchan know which floor the agents stay in? I reach for the 18th floor button but Himchan reaches for it as well. I guess he does know. He quickly removes his hand though. Oh, am I making him nervous? I guess I'm not the only one. The doors close and I can't help but look at Himchan beside me. My feelings for him haven't changed at all. I hope he sees it. 

"Stop staring."

Whoops. I guess I've been caught.

"How do you know I'm staring?"

"I just... I just know..."

I can't stand it. If I can, I should talk to him now. There's no other opportunity for me. I press the emergency stop button and the elevator halts abruptly. Himchan's shocked and curses at me.

"Yah! What are you doing?!"

I slam my hand on the wall of the elevator. I'm now leaning forward, getting close to Himchan... so close I can feel his breath. He's avoiding my eyes. Did he miss me, too? I desparately need to know what he's thinking.

"I missed you, Himchan-ah..."

"Stop...don't..."

I stare at his lips and I just want to kiss him one more time. Himchan's closing his eyes and I close mine, too. Is this it? I am just a centimeter away from touching his lips when I feel a sudden stinging pain on my left cheek. ! He punched me! He just punched me!

"Holy sh--you okay?!"

"Damn! What was that?! Why'd you punch me?!"

"Well...why were you trying to kiss me?!"

"It was a joke! I'm joking!"

"What kind of joke is that, you ?!"

I'm rubbing my face and there's a ringing sound in my ear as well. I see Himchan push the emergency stop button, starting up the elevator. The elevator reaches the 18th floor and Himchan runs out like mad. 

"Kim Himchan, get back here!!"

Ah... what am I gonna do now? I feel like my face is going to bruise. I step out of the elevator with both my hands on my cheek. Agent Yoon Doojoon raises his hand up in the air for a high five but I just nod at him and say 'hey'. 

"What happened to you, man?"

"It's nothing."

"Did a girl do this to you? Did you not return someone's call again?"

"Yah! I'm not a playboy like you!"

"Hey, who said anything about you being a playboy? I'm just saying... you should give girls some time to heal, man. Stop acting on impulse all the time."

Impulse. He's right, I guess. I act on impulse most of the time. That's how I am. I'm quick to act and I don't make second thoughts about what I do. I'll have to face the consequences for every impulsive act I do now. I can't change myself overnight, of course. I'll... have to stop myself now from jumping on Himchan and telling him I miss him... and I've missed him every second of the day since we parted. 

I sound like a pathetic loser now...

I head to the NIS filed agents lounge and sit on one of the leather seats. I sigh and just think about how stupid I am for doing what I did. I just want Himchan to pay attention to me. Don't I deserve some kind of explanation for what he did to me two years ago? Don't I deserve some closure? F-ck. He's so difficult to understand! I close my eyes and just relax. I can still feel blood rush to my left cheek but it's bearable. 

"Ah..." I moan.

My cheek is probably swollen by now. I open my eyes and there's a bag of frozen pease and carrots in front of me. I look up at who's carrying it and it's Kim Himchan. He hands it over to me and tells me to put it on my cheek. 

"I'm sorry..." he says to me.

"You should be--ack..." The cold makes me jump. "I was totally kidding back there, you know."

"Uhuh..."

He doubts me? Wow. Well, he has good reason to doubt me. I wasn't that good to him before. I want to do better. Now he and I are each other's responsibility. We have to take care of each other now. But, I want our past to be our past. I want us to move forward... somehow.

"Kim Himchan..."

"What?"

"About... what happened between us... you know... years ago..."

How should I start? Should I tell him how I feel first?

"Kim Himchan... you know... I..."

"HEY! NEW GUY!" a third voice suddenly joins in. "You're supposed to introduce yourself to everyone. Everyone's waiting. Get out here."

Is that... ah, of course. Yoon Doojoon. He's been a great bother today, I see. Himchan and I exchange glances and I guess we'll save this conversation for another time. Hopefully I can get my point across when I get the chance.

➳➳➳➳➳

It's been three days since I last saw Himchan at the BBQ restaurant. Sure, I've seen him in the NIS building... I saw him at the briefing of the case I took for us... but I don't see him. Whenever I see him, I try to follow him and speak to him, but once I've caught up, he's disappeared. It's like he's doing a magic disappearing act. Is he doing this on purpose? We were distant before, am I making it worse? Maybe I should practice my shooting to release the tension in my shoulders and neck. 

The doors slide open as I enter and I see Himchan practicing. His stance is a bit awkward and his hold on the gun is too tense to make a good shot. Should I help him? I look around and see no one. It's my chance to get Himchan to talk to me... or maybe just listen to me. I grab a pair of goggles and walk towards Himchan. I'm now beside him and I tell him the following instructions--

"Relax the arms. Don't stress it. Focus on the target. Pull the trigger when you've aimed."

Did he listen to me? Or will he just ignore me? I cover my ears with my fingers and he shoots four bullets. I press the button that moves the target towards us. It's slowly revealing the target and I like what I see. Himchan turns around and is surprised.

"Bang Yongguk..."

"Congratulations. You just killed your target."

"Huh?"

I point at the target, telling him to turn around. He does so and is surprised himself. Four bullets on the head. 

"Uh... Thanks..." he says to me, half-heartedly.

"Hey, You did the shooting. I just helped." 

I smile at him. Himchan is avoiding my gaze again? Why keep doing this Himchan? Stop avoiding me! He removes his goggles and places it on the stand. He's walking... no, running away. He's almost at the door but I can't let him leave. I'm not letting you run, Kim Himchan. Don't do this to me. I ran faster and block his way. I want to tell him I won't let him go. Instead of using my words, I use my lips. I have my hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. I can feel the elctricity travel my lips to my entire body. His lips taste sweet and amazing like always. I missed his lips so much. I missed Kim Himchan.

When I pull away, I was hoping he'd be happy. He returned the kiss but... does he return my feelings? He's not smiling. He looks like he's... guilty. It's as if he's treating this as a mistake. He says nothing and shoves me out of the way. Did... did I just make him hate me more? 

F-CK! Bang Yongguk, you're such a fool!

To be continued...

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Author's Notes

Hi, darlings! Did you notice how this chapter is parallel to the previous chapters but in Yongguk's perspective? Pretty neat, huh? I figured since we've focused so much on Himchan, we need to be inside Yongguk's head for the time being. I realized now that so much has happened that fitting in all of Yongguk's thoughts won't fit in a chapter so I'll continue with Yongguk's point of view until I think it's time to go back to Himchan.

Click on the words with links, ok? If you've forgotten which chapter we're in, just click on the link. But basically this is PROLOGUE to ARC 1.2 ^^ I'm not going to make each chapter in Yongguk POV, okay? It just depends on what I think suits the flow better.

How do you feel now that you know Yongguk's perspective? Leave a comment!

SPECIAL MENTION TO MY NEW UPVOTER !!

wryhun

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Until the next chapter ^_^