“I need you to be something more than just my friend.”

You stared at Junho in disbelief.  You wondered why you were still standing there in the cold hallway in your pajamas listening to him and missing a good warm meal inside.  Now you finally get it, he’s one of those guys who thought they could entice any girl with just one word and a smile from his lips that would bring your attention to the fact that he is indeed a handsome charming man.  Actually, he never needed the words nor the smile, he was handsome and charming and all he had to do was breathe.  Well, you are not going to melt under his stare this time just because they were hypnotizing.  You are going to stand your ground and not get into being his plaything.

“No you don’t.”  You said firmly.  Your gaze leveling on his.  “You’re like this because of Peter.  You feel like you need to get a hold of me before that man inside my apartment does.  Taking a toy you really don’t want to play with just so others can’t have it.”  You let out a deep breath and moved away from him.  “That’s not how relationships should start Junho.  At least, not how I wanted it to start.”

He sighed deeply, the sigh of a man who had this argument before.  “Yes, I don’t want anyone taking you away from me, is that so wrong?  But still that’s not all of it.”

He could see how you looked even less impressed with him right now than you had when he knocked on your door.  “Then what?  Are you suggesting a serious relationship between us?”  You ran a hand through your hair with sarcasm dripping in your voice.

He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans and looked at the floor, entranced with the inlay pattern of the hardwood floor.  Something he would often do when pushed into a corner.  “You know, my work, I’m always away on tours and if not, my daily schedule demands a lot of my time, plus for someone in my line of business, image is everything.  You know how it is, right?”  He rubbed nervously at his throat as he mumbled the words.  “Actually, I never expected to get into a serious relationship at this point in my life.  But I -”

Your head tilted to the side before he could even finish speaking and you paused to tuck your hair behind your ear as your heart lurched between wounded and confused.  “Well, no one’s asking you to.”  You exhaled sharply like a petulant child.  “And quite frankly, I never I asked you to.  I actually knew from the start you’re incapable of that, not that I was thinking of getting into one with you.”

His jaw shifted to the side and the tendons in his neck were much more visible than they had been a few minutes earlier when he was face to face with Peter.  “That’s not what I meant.”

“Ugh!  We’re doing this again!”  You inhaled a lungful of air and let it out slowly as you realized your heart is being stomped on again.  “It’s the bet, the schedule, the image, your career, the universe working against us…it’s a thousand things.  But you know what?  Maybe it’s us.”  You shook your head with a sigh.  “I mean we seem to go so well in so many ways, but somehow, despite all that, despite the feelings we share for each other, we always find ourselves back here.”

That was it.  If he was a jerk, well you were being judgmental.  He stepped forward, closing the distance between you and him and assumed the best power stance he could muster.  He has to make you listen to him and not put words into his mouth.  “Shut up will you!”  He snapped.

“Excuse me?”  It was like he had thrown cold water on you.

“Are you guys alright?”  Peter popped out of your door hearing the escalating tone of voices from the hallway or just out of mere curiosity as to what was transpiring on the other side of the door.

“Yes!  We’re fine!”  You and Junho yelled in unison.  Junho’s eyes were unusually wide and the throbbing muscle in his jaw betrayed to you how furious he was upon Peter’s interruption.  He was fighting the urge to shove Peter inside and slam the door in his face as he looked back down on the floor trying to calm down.

Wrinkles appeared between Peter’s brows as he muttered softly in an awkward wide-eyed face.  “I could just go.”

“Just stay inside.”  You managed to calmly say and Peter obliged shutting the door softly.

A few seconds of silence hung in the air after the click on the door and then you noticed Junho’s shoulders shaking.  He was laughing as he slowly looked up at you and you turned to him with a smile on your face as you leaned on the wall.  “I think we scared your date or you scared your date.”

“Not a date!”  You insisted.

Junho brought his attention fully back at you, leaning in closer.  “Now, let me finish.”  Junho’s ear began to burn as he started to speak again.  “I wasn’t expecting to be in a relationship, BUT… “  He emphasized.  “But…the thing is…I got to know a girl who hangs out in the library with an infectious laugh that even my weird friends think is good company and who absolutely at cooking and is up at three in the morning making snacks.  And then I kissed her and I did so because I like the girl I got to know.  I like you – a lot.  And it made me want to start something with you.”  He steps closer to hold your hands that have turned cold.  “Yes, I hate knowing a Peter or a Paul or whoever can snatch you away from me.  But how could I not when I like you this much?  I like you…enough to be in a relationship with you despite all those things I mentioned and you mentioned.  Now, why does that seem like such a surprise to you?”  Junho took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, his cheeks puffing and his heart thumping so loud he was beginning to fear you could hear it.

Your whole world stopped.  Everything seemed to have tilted on its axis.  You tried to keep it together and be composed, but you were finding it exceptionally difficult.  “Because!”  You answered as he watched you fought for words. 

“Because why?”  He stared at you in confusion.

“I’m thinking!”  You pinch the bridge of your nose and squeezed your eyes shut momentarily thinking of an appropriate reply.  “Because you’re you and I’m me.  And people like you don’t end up with people like me.”  You hated how your voice trembled as you spoke.  The last thing you wanted was to look weak in front of Junho.

Junho stifled a laugh at the evident confusion in your face.  He could always find you so enchanting in whatever state you were in.  “You and I are no different.  Other than a very busy schedule on my part, I don’t think you should categorize me as someone from another species.”  He smiled broadly as he held your cheek.  His hands were just as cold as yours and you wondered if he was just as nervous as you are.  And he was.  “And I can’t understand why that is so ing hard for someone as smart as you to understand.”

You closed your eyes and swallowed against the lump your throat and smooshed the lingering doubts back into the cobwebbed closets of your brain.  “Well, you’re like from another galaxy, where all men are gorgeous and y and irresistible.  And I’m…”

“You’re all that too and more.”  Your eyes flew open to see him smiling at you and you melted a bit inside.  “So, you think I’m irresistible?” 

“Yes, I do and every other heteroual woman in the world.”  You rolled your eyes at him with a slight blush on your cheeks.

“What you think is all that really matters to me though.”  He brushed his thumb across your cheek and leaned in towards you.  His face inches away from yours and you had that familiar feeling of getting weak in the knees as you took a whiff of his scent.  “So…does this mean…”

“No.”

Lines started to appear across Junho’s forehead.  “No?”  Junho’s hopes sank like the Atlantis.  There had been a tiny part of him that had held on to the dream that you would say yes when the moment came that he would ask.

You stepped back so that the wall was right behind you, putting as much space between you two as you could possible.  “Not until I’m sure.  Is that alright?”

He stopped and organized his thoughts for a moment.  “Fine.  But go out with me for dinner tonight?”

“I can do that.”  You smiled with the colors high in your cheeks.  “We can do that.”