You took a deep breath at one of your favorite scents as you followed the numbers further back into the stacks of books in the library.  You paused when you stood right at the section you were seeking and skimmed the shelves above and below, starting to run your finger along the spines while peering from time to time at the call numbers you have hastily wrote on a piece of paper.  You pulled the book off the shelf when your phone began to vibrate in your pocket.

“Hello?”  You answered your mobile without so much as a look to find out who the caller was.

“Where are you?”  Junho asked quite cutely over the phone.

“Junho?  I told you this morning when you called that I’ll be at the library.”  You held your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you flip through the pages.

“That was this morning.  It’s already noon.”

You closed the book and smiled.  “Well, I’m still here.”  It amazes you how much he had that effect on you.  Something in him could always elicit a smile from you.

“Where exactly is here?”

You whirled around to check the section sign.  “Non-fiction.  Literature.  Why?”

“Because…”  There was a long pause on the line.  “…I wanted to find you.”  Junho leaned against the bookshelf looking at you in his hooded jacket, cap and dark rimmed glasses.  He was standing there staring at you and you watched as he approached.  All you could hear was the sound of his footsteps.  It was like the sound of your fate approaching, slowly, steadily.  “I don’t suppose you believe in love at first sight.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but could not hide the faint blush of color that tinted your cheeks.  “No, I don’t.”  You looked around to make sure no one was close by, taking a second to peer through the shelves to the aisles on either side.  “What are you doing here?”  You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him further back into the section.  “You can’t be here.”

“Well, hello to you too.”  Junho smiled charmingly.

You rolled your eyes at him before you smiled, bright and plastic.  “Hello Junho.”  And then you went back to your disdainful expression.  “Now go.  You’ll attract attention and then a mob who’ll probably stone me to death if I’m seen with you.”

He stepped closer and whispered.  “I won’t.  No trouble for you, I promise.”  He leaned his head a little closer to your hair as he found your scent intoxicating.  You smelled like you wanted to be tasted and it took every ounce of his self-restraint not to do so.

Your eyes lit up while you took a shot at attempting to suppress a smile.  He always smelled like shampoo and a little sweat.  Your mouth twisted to the side.  “My friends will be here anytime soon and if they see you-”

Junho pulled back to look at you.  “Your friends are coming?”  There was merriment in his eyes that renders you unable to look away.  You nodded in response as you tried to hide the growing smile in your face.  “Then good.  I get to meet them.  You got to meet my friends, now I get to know yours.”

Your smile faded as you were pushed back into reality.  “No.  Not good.”  You shook your head with your eyes wide.  “I wouldn’t know how to explain you to them.”

His gaze pinned you down.  “What do you mean you can’t explain me to your friends?”  He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“I haven’t told them about us being neighbors.  And besides, can you explain what I am to you?”  Your breath caught in your chest almost painfully.  “Because I sure as hell can’t.”

Junho’s head dropped as he rubs the back of his neck, backing away half a step from you with no response.  He always seems at a loss for words every time it came to this.  And you would always feel sick every time he would act like this.  An ache throbbed behind your eyes as you looked at him.  Why does he always have to make you feel so pathetic?

“It always comes back to this, doesn’t it?”  You sighed, blowing the hair out of your face.  The hurt in your voice was so evident it was practically visible.  “It’s a good thing I don’t like you as much anymore.”  It took your best efforts to show a smile and break the awkward silence that hang between you and him.  “It doesn’t hurt anymore when we do this.”  You scanned his face for any reaction, but beyond the furrowing of his brows, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  “So, why did you want to find me again?”  You went back to perusing the books on the shelf as if the painful conversation never happened.

“Nothing.”  His eyes were sad as he looked at you.  He put his head in his hands and groaned.  “I just suddenly missed you and wanted to see you.  Missed you in a way I couldn’t explain.”  You pulled a few books off from the shelf as he spoke, you figured it would be far better not to look into his eyes and get drowned in them again.  He once got into your head, your heart and in your soul and until now you are still trying to flush him out.  “Can I help you with that?”  He offered and you handed him the whole stack and he oofed as the heavy books hit his torso.

“Thanks.”

“So how was the date with the doctor?”  A vicious green monster breached in Junho’s stomach, splashing the acid about with disregard to his feelings.

“It wasn’t a date.”  You gave him a saucy grin.  “It’s more like a thank you dinner for helping me.”

His eyebrows lowered.  “Will it happen again?” 

Your eyes twitched to the side to look at him.  “You know, I think you visit our library more than Taecyeon does.”  It was so obvious how you avoided the question, but Junho will let it slide this time.

“Do you remember how we met here for the first time?”  His voice was deep and your heart lurched in your chest at the memory of your first meeting.  Being with him now felt like no time has passed.  He could still make your heart race.  That smile of his was back and it was dazzling beyond dazzling.

You felt your own eyebrows jutting up.  “How can I forget?  That was the first time I got punched in the nose.”  You said with a wide grin.  “That was also the first time I have met a person who didn’t know Bambi’s male.”

“It’s a he?  Why does he look so much like a girl?”  He surprisingly asked looking slightly uncomfortable with the weight of the books in his hands.

“He was next in line to be the great prince of the forest.  Did you not read the book at all?”  You explained as you stared at him oddly.

“I enjoyed looking at the pictures.”  He made a sound that almost sounded like laughter.  “You know, talking and exchanging messages with you has become the highlight of my days since the day we first met.  I guess no one has ever worked my brain like you do.”  He sighed deeply as he shifted the stack of books in his hands hoping to lessen the weight for a moment.  “You have always managed to blow me away.  So, I come up with the silliest excuses to see you and I make up the most stupid reasons just to be with you.  The first time I saw you, I knew …. something in me has changed.”  His comments were greeted with silence as you refused to face him, pretending to scan through a book just to avoid his gaze.  “Are you even listening?”

“Uhm.”  You nodded your head, but still could not bear to look at him.  “I was listening, but I couldn’t understand.  So what is it exactly that you want from me?”  You finally lifted your eyes to his.

Junho drops the books on the floor as he comes up to you, closer and closer still until you could feel your hearts beating in unison.  He tilts his head ever so lightly and before you could even gasp, he leans down to place his lips on yours.  You moved back as he shoved you lightly against the shelf.  It dug uncomfortably into your back as his body presses against yours with growing urgency.

He pulled back and his eyebrows raised the slightest degree in silent question.  Your eyes flew open, staring at him, panting, eyes wide and dark.  “Junho.”  Your voice trembled as you spoke.  “I don’t want to be the friend you on occasion.”  You pushed him lightly and went to pick the books scattered on the floor.

“It’s not – “

“You should leave.”  You put a hand over your eyes as if not being able to see would make everything less painful.  “My friends will be here soon.”  You looked up to him with a forced smile.  “If you go straight that way and turn right and then left at the reference section and take the stairs down, it will lead you out of here with less people noticing you.  Just as long as you don’t have a book with you, you won’t set off any alarms.”

Junho’s jaw clenched momentarily.  “I’m sorry.  I just – “

“Please Junho.”  Your voice was barely audible, but he crumpled under those words.  You were pushing him away with those words and that look on your face.  “We’re okay, don’t worry.  I just need you to leave for now.”  You sounded broken even to your own ears, but he understood your pain and knew he was causing it.  He walked off the rest of the aisle to where you pointed him to.  He paused to look back at you, but you refused to look up at him as you took the books off the floor.