to be honest, yongguk hasn't thought too much about how he died. he just recalled pain, people shouting and then a feeling of sudden lightness as he felt like he was afloat. the next time he came to consciousness, he was in some residential area and people were passing by him unnoticing, even when he asked them politely for directions. he only freaked out when he saw a schoolgirl pass right through him, and he raised his hands against the lights to find them... translucent. 

dead.

and then he suddenly saw a bright spot ahead, and focusing on that, managed to somehow teleport over to the house of choi junhong, the ghost-seer.

"hyung, hyung are you okay?" he snapped back to reality, junhong's concerned voice next to him.

he was thinking of how to answer junhong's earlier question, when a sudden rush of nausea hit him, making him grunt and hold his head in his hands, bent over.

junhong's voice was now urgent. "hyung, what's wrong? god… do you wanna sit?"

"…it's fine," yongguk tried to get a grip on himself, "just… thinking about it made my head ache. so badly."

junhong looked guilty. "sorry hyung, i shouldn't have asked. it's okay, you don't have to tell me."

"no, i… i want to know as well. i can't recall clearly what happened, but i think visiting my old friend might help." yongguk slowly straightened up. "himchan."

********

yongguk found a good thing about being a ghost, was that if he closed his eyes and focussed on a place, he was able to get there immediately, like teleportation? Which would have been really cool, if he was not dead. 

so a minute after waving goodbye to junhong, yongguk opened his eyes to find himself exactly where he wanted to be - at a narrow street in a small suburb of Seoul. Only some shops were open and a handful of people passed him by, on their way to work or to the market.

it was a small sleepy town, a scene of peace and tranquility, but yongguk knows a place here that was hidden, that was not what it seemed to be. He made his way easily down the street, pausing by the second alley, turning in and counting his steps. five steps in, on his right, was a metal grilled door - behind which was the headquarters of No Mercy, the main gang in this area, and arguably one of the top five gangs in Seoul in terms of money and size. yongguk didn't spend much time reminiscing about his time here, and quickly willed himself through the door.

the interior was just like he remembered; bare electric light bulbs hung from the ceiling, while wooden chairs were placed randomly around the place. himchan and jongup sat in the couch in one corner, while only a handful of 5 or 6 others hung around the tv area. the atmosphere was gloomy and sombre.

yongguk went straight to himchan. standing in front of the other, he saw that himchan was in a bad state; his eyes were red and bloodshot, and his skin paler than usual, and he picked mindlessly at his fingers. jongup was talking to him in soft hushed tones.

"channie hyung, don't do this. it wasn't your fault."

yongguk's heart clenched, as he saw that this might be about him, or whatever happened to him.

there was silence from himchan. jongup turned and held himchan's hand. "please, hyung. it's hard on all of us, but please, take care of yourself too, you haven't eaten properly since then, gukkie hyung won't want…"

"i am the one responsible. i caused him to …. if i haven't gone and asked him…" himchan's voice was hoarse as he spoke, tears forming, "he never wanted to come. i forced him to.. and now he's…" he sobbed and buried his head into jongup's shoulder, letting out muffled chokes.

tears formed in yongguk's eyes, although he didn't really know why.

*************

i will update slowly because of school and other stuff :( but thanks to all readers and subscribers! i will not give up this story!

1004 daebak <3 himchan.../dies /faints /cries