they chatted for awhile, as mrs bang asked about his school, his family and also more about his time spent with yongguk. it was also a relief for junhong as he hadn't talked so freely about his life and yongguk (whom nobody in his circle knows of anyway) for a long time. 

when the sky started to turn dark,mrs bang decided to go back and cook for the family. junhong took the chance and said he would leave together with her, but after making sure mrs bang got into the taxi, he spun and came back to the hospital room.

yongguk was still there, sitting cross-legged on the bed next to his physical body. he looked up to meet junhong's eyes when the younger entered.

he smiled junhong's favorite gummy smile as the younger walked slowly, closing the distance between them.

"hyung…" junhong opened his mouth, but suddenly realised he didn't know what to say. 

yongguk's familiar deep voice filled the silence. "thanks junhong-ah."

"what for?" junhong heard his own thinner voice echo in the quiet room.

"for today. for speaking with my mum, and for talking about me in such a nice way," yongguk smiled gently. "and also for everything. for taking me in when i first barged into your house. for bringing me to university. for all your lame jokes and bad stories."

"and, thanks for letting me stay by your side, junhong-ah."

"hyung, why are you saying this like its…like a farewell speech?" junhong sniffled as he sat on the bed facing the ghost. "have you… have you found the way to go back?" 

yongguk only gave a small smile and gestured with his hand for junhong to come nearer.

still sniffling, junhong shuffled in front, only to find himself in the embrace of the other. it was definitely not warm, like another human's embrace, but somehow junhong didn't find it cold either. it was like he could really feel the other's body against his, the touches almost real.

and he heard yongguk's gravelly tone reach into his ears, almost imagining his breath hitting against his ear, "you are a lousy ghost-seer, because you are too innocent, and so easily manipulated by ghosts. but you are also the best ghost seer in the world, because you really care about those who come to you for help."

"don't ever lose that, okay? continue to shine bright for those wandering spirits who can only count on you for help."

he reached out slowly and pressed a kiss to junhong's forehead, feeling the younger stiffen and then tremble slightly from controlling his sobs.

"are you really leaving?" junhong pulled away and looked at him expectantly. god knows how much he wanted to hear "no", although he hasn't faced up to the reason why he didn't want the elder to leave.

"i really want to stay, really," yongguk reached out and tried to ruffle the younger's hair, "but i can't. it's not right for me to stay this way." 

what he really wanted to say, was that he could no longer stand just being a transparent existence next to junhong, that in the time they have spent together, he has become greedier, to be able to run his fingers through his soft locks, to be able to wrap an arm around his shoulders when they walk along the streets, to be able to provide a warm embrace to the younger when he is alone, sad or afraid.

and he could only take the risk of trying to go back to his body, risking the things he had now, and hope for things to start afresh.

******

he walked junhong back to his home, for the last time as his ghost shield, making small talk to distract from their coming farewell. 

"…. you remember when you saw a headless ghost in the school toilet and nearly ran out with your pants down? " yongguk chuckled, and had to cover his mouth to prevent from laughing out loud.

"…" 

junhong could only roll his eyes as the unpleasant memory came back. he flushed.

"..yeah, and you came as the knight in shining armour, to chase the ghost away, and remind me to wear my pants."

yongguk laughed. "those were the good days, man."

before long, they had reached junhong's place. junhong had continued up the stairs, out of habit, before he realised that the elder did not follow along.

he turned around to find yongguk at the bottom of the stairs, a smile on his face - a more serene, collected one than his usual gum-baring smile. it somehow made him nervous.

"hyung," his whisper was barely audible in the cold night wind, "aren't you coming?"

"this period of time was great for me, junhong-ah. i liked staying at your place. i liked going to university. i actually liked chasing the ghosts away for you. i.. but its time to say goodbye." he heard yongguk's voice float back, soft but sure.

what yongguk really wanted to say was "i really liked spending time with you, and i liked those things because i did them with you," but he managed to choke back those words. what was the meaning of saying them when they were going to part?

he heard junhong's footsteps echo slowly down the stairs, and before long, he was face to face with the boy. 

he only met junhong a few months ago, but it felt like it has been so long since he was first acquainted with him. somehow when he didn't notice, the boy had shot up by another few centimetres, so they were able to see each other at eye level now.

the seasons had also shifted, and winter was coming upon them. he could see the warm air forming a white mist, as junhong said softly, "we are going to meet again, right?"

"yes, but you will have to find me then." yongguk smiled, and then pulled junhong in for an embrace.

junhong closed his eyes, trying to memorise the warmth of the other, and trying to stop that familiar ache behind his eyes whenever he's going to cry. but a split second later, he opened his eyes, and found himself alone on the street, the sound of the cold wind suddenly overwhelming to his ears.

he's gone.

******