Pro C - 더 사랑하는 쪽이 아프다 (Love Hurts) (feat. Ailee)

^{(Himchan’s POV)}

Tapping the keypad of my phone, I sent a message to my manager, telling him that I’d be at the usual coffee shop if he would be looking for me later on. Our hyungnim was out buying more food for the members, in case they go hungry in the early morning while having their movie marathons. He actually knows and trusts Hanee, ever since I brought her with me to introduce her to the members, and has allowed me to go out at night to meet her because he knows that she’ll take care of me well.

Putting the phone in my pocket, I quickly put on the hood over my cap as I ran outside. In a matter of minutes I had reached the café, and took off my ‘disguise’. Hanee’s samchon (uncle) owns the place, and if there was somewhere we would like or need to hang out in private without any reporters, it would be here. That’s one of the reasons why my hyungnim doesn’t mind that I spend the night here. Seeing as the lights were on, I looked inside to see her samchon wiping the tables. I opened the door, and a ring was heard from the bell that was attached to the door. Her samchon looked up and his eyes widened in surprise.

‘Oh, Himchan!’ He said as his face brightened up. ‘It’s good to see you again.’

‘It’s nice to see you again, ahjussi.’ I said as I returned the smile and we briefly shook hands.

‘Aish. Again with the formalities.’ He said as he laughed. ‘How have you been?’

‘Great, together with the promotions and other activities.’ I say as I scan the café. ‘Is Hanee here?’

I could see him smiling warmly in the corner of my eye as I looked back at him. ‘She’s out at the back, at your usual spot.’ He said as I nodded. ‘Thanks for coming, Himchan. You must’ve been busy before coming here…’

‘Not at all, actually I was the one that wanted to meet up with Hanee.’ I asked as he nodded once more before giving a small smile.

‘She’s lucky to have you.’ He said as I felt my cheeks warm up a bit, but fortunately he didn’t notice when he gestured towards the counter, where a tray sat with two mugs of steaming coffee and a plate of delicious looking pastries.

‘Well, you know the drill. I’m guessing you guys might be up till early morning so I prepared those—it’s your favourite blend of coffee plus extra pastries. When you guys are done, just lock-up like usual. Hanee has a spare key anyway so just take your time.’

‘Yes, thank you, and be careful on the way home ahjussi.’ I replied as I bowed again, as he thanked me and patted my back. I made way towards the counter, carefully taking the tray before heading out back. The doors at the back of the café led to the garden of the café that overlooked the city skyline, where there were more tables and chairs to accommodate the customers. This was where we’d be most of the time when we would have coffee, and talk until early morning. We’d also make frequent trips here during my trainee days, especially when the going gets tough. I would end up coming here and she’d be there to talk me through it and encourage me to do my best. Coming back now during the promotions of our new mini-album, I realize how long it’s been since I last been here, and how our usual coffee meet-ups has been reduced to a just few hours to even just phone calls in the middle of the day, what with my busy schedule and her new relationship.

I opened the door out back, and notice that it was still the same, except for the new patches of flowers by the edge of the garden. I immediately look towards the table we’d always sit in, where you can see the best view of Seoul. I saw Hanee sitting there, her elbow propped on the table and her chin resting on the base of her palm. She stared at the breath-taking view, yet while her eyes should mirror the awe she’d always have when she’d sit there, it showed something else. She wasn’t looking at the view like she used to.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. I watched as she mumbled something, and as much as it seemed soft, I could hear every word of it clearly.

‘Someone send help… to help me get over this… please…’

I walk over to her and set the tray down carefully on the edge of the table, which caught her attention. She transferred her gaze to me, and managed a small smile. ‘Ah Himchan, you’re here already?’ She said as she stood up, and helped me transfer the mugs and plate. Before she could sit down, however, I gently held her wrist.

‘Hm? What’s wrong, Himchan?’ She said, still keeping her small smile. I kept my gaze on her, and noticed how slightly puffy and pink her eyes were, and how tired she was. It took great self-control to not get angry and to march over to her boyfriend and beat the living daylights off of him, because what mattered right now was not her boyfriend, but her.

Then again, she was all that ever mattered.

‘Himchan?’ She called me once more. I gently led her away from the chair as I pulled her into a hug. ‘W-Wha…’

‘You don’t need to hide it, you know…’ I said, securing my hold as I firmly kept my arms around her. ‘If you’re sad, go and cry. If you’re angry, let it out. Don’t bottle it up Hanee, I’m here. I’m right here for you.’

I could feel her tense up while talking to her, and she feebly nodded as she leaned against me and took a deep breath. She clenched my hoodie as she began to cry, and all I could do was hold her. After a she had let everything out and calmed down, I let go of her as I held her face in my hands, and she looked up. I gave her the best encouraging smile I could, and she mirrored it with a small smile of her own. I wiped her tear-stained cheeks with my thumbs.

‘T-thanks, Himchan,’ she said as she took a deep breath. ‘I’ll be okay.’ She glanced at the food and coffee and went to sit down. I followed suit, and I noticed she resumed to thinking deeply. I reached out, bravely, placing my hand on hers as her beautiful eyes looked up at me once more, and she smiled.

‘I’ll be okay, don’t worry.’

‘I know you will, but don’t take it all on your own.’ I said as I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. ‘I told you before, I’m here for you.’

She nodded, thanking me once more as our conversation was engulfed in silence. She drank her coffee as I picked up a pastry, and took a bite. When she set her coffee down, she traced the mug with her index finger.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I asked, picking up the plate of pastries and offering her one as she shifted her gaze towards me, then at the plate. She picked one up and bit it as I set the plate down in between our mugs.

^{(Hanee’s POV)}

‘I found out that he was cheating on me.’ I told Himchan as I saw surprise reflect in his eyes. If I hadn’t let out everything and all the tears I had, I would’ve sobbed while talking about this. Now that I’ve emptied myself out, all I could feel mostly was numbness, and the mild sting from the realization that my seemingly perfect relationship with my boyfriend (or should I say ex-boyfriend) was never going to be the same ever again.

‘I went early to surprise him for our anniversary, and I saw him with a co-worker.’ I said as I continued to eat the pastry. ‘He… he told her that he was thinking of ending it today, and that he was able to get away with going out with her because he’d tell me he was busy with work… or something like that—I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention any more….’

‘And you know what, Himchan?’ I said as I looked at him and found myself laughing while my eyes began to water again. ‘I believed every single word he said, because I believed that he loved me as much as I loved him.’ I reached up to wipe my eyes as I sniffed. ‘I believed in him, and it e-ends up that all I ever believed in were l-lies.’

‘Hanee…’ He began, and reached out to hold my hand, but all I did was shake my head.

‘How could I… how could I be so stupid, Himchan?’

‘Hanee, don’t say that. You’re not stupid.’  He said in a serious tone as I shook my head once more.

‘He seems to think so…’ I mumbled but Himchan cut in.

‘Well what he thinks doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t let him bring you lower than he already has.’ Himchan said in a somewhat angry tone as he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. ‘If there’s anyone who’s stupid, it’s him for cheating on one of the greatest girls I know.’

I watched as he looked up at me, and looked me intently in the eyes. ‘He’s a pabo, okay? He doesn’t deserve your love and he most certainly does not deserve you. If there’s anyone who should regret and feel bad for what has happened, it should be him—not you.’

He leaned against the backrest of the chair as he picked up his mug. He muttered incoherent sentences about wanting to pulverize him and while fuming in his own thoughts, he took a quick sip, not realizing the coffee was still steaming and hot. He immediately jumped as his expression flashed that of pain and set the mug down right away while covering his mouth.

‘AH!’ He let out as my eyes widened and I immediately got the tissue from the tray as I reached out to wipe his mouth.

‘HIMCHAN! ARE YOU OKAY?!’ I said as he removed his hand, revealing his burnt tongue sticking out.

‘Et hurshs…’ He said quietly as he began making weird expressions to describe the pain, and I began to smile. It felt so foreign, and yet it felt right, smiling like this. Himchan seemed to notice it, and smiled as well.

God… what would I ever do if Himchan weren’t here?

‘Heeeey, don’t laugh, it really stings!’ He said as I shook my head and covered my mouth to hide my growing smile.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ I began as I felt myself lighten up. ‘Are you okay? Do you want me to get cold water?’

‘Ugh, it’s okay…’ He said as he stuffed a cold pastry in his mouth and returned to mumbling incoherent words, except now it was about the stupid mug and him being careless. I watched him as I picked up another tissue and wiped his mouth, seeing as the crumbs and the icing of the pastry were now on it. Himchan was surprised, but I just continued on.

‘Please be careful next time.’

‘De.’ He said quietly, as if I was scolding him and I just gave him a small smile. Himchan always had a way to cheer me up (intentionally or not), no matter the situation. It made me think back to all those times when he was the strong and solid figure of support when things didn’t go right. From the simple hugs, pats on the back, or reassuring squeezes from his hands to even his encouraging smiles. He was always loving and caring. I know getting over this wasn’t going to be easy, and I know I’ll cry over it for a while, but I feel like if Himchan’s by my side, maybe I can learn to smile freely once again, and maybe the sun in my world can still continue to shine brightly despite the clouds blocking its path.

‘And Himchan?’

‘Hm?’

‘Thank you. Really, thank you so much.’

* ~ * ~ *

^{(Belated) Happy Valentines Day everyone! c: sending out love and hearts to all of you~! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ❤˖✧♡❣:･ﾟ✧♡❤}