Sitting in the kitchen with Michiko felt wonderfully domestic. And I found myself wanting more moments like that with Yunho.

 

I watched as Michiko made a glaze for the carrots I was chopping. I could hear Yunho and his father talking in the living room. I told Michiko about everything, well, almost everything, that was going on in my life.

 

“I was pregnant once, before I met Yunho's father.”

 

“What happened?” I asked. I didn't want to upset her, but she brought it up.

 

“I miscarried. I almost married the man. I'm glad I didn't. We didn't really love each other, but we wanted a stable household for the baby. I was almost 5 months along when I lost it.”

 

“I'm sorry,” I said softly.

 

“Don't be. While I miss the baby, it really was for the best. I didn't love the father. Not enough to marry him anyway. If I had married him, I never would have met Dongwook, or Yunho or Changmin. Or you.”

 

I stood and wrapped my arms around her. “If we have a girl, we are going to name her Haeri, after Yunho's mother,” I said. I felt guilty, suddenly. Like Michiko was being so nice and Yunho and I refused to acknowledge it.

 

“That's a beautiful name. Haeri was very beautiful. Yunho looks so much like her.” She paused for a beat. “I'm not trying to replace her.”

 

“I know. Changmin and Mr. Jung both know. It's just Yunho is scared of forgetting his mother.”

 

Michiko nodded her head. “I'm trying to understand him. I just wish he would talk to me more. But I know he's going through a lot with you and the coming babies.” She ran her hand over my belly and smiled. “This is a miracle, Jaejoong. You and Yunho are going to face struggles, but your love is strong. Don't let go of that.”

 

We hugged again. It was nice to have someone else to talk. Someone who wasn't my mother or sister.

 

 

 

After Changmin and Yunho washed the dishes, Yunho and I retreated to his room. I leaned against the wall and watched Yunho change into his pj's.

 

“Are you gonna get changed?” he asked.

 

“Yeah. In a little bit.” He sat on the edge of the bed near my feet. He ran his hand up and down my leg.

 

“Are you feeling okay?”

 

“I'm fine. I'm feeling a little bloated and a little weird. But I'm good.” I slid closer to him. “I feel happy and excited.”

 

“Me too. The more I think about it, the happier I get. I mean, I'm still really scared. But I'm excited to see the babies.”

 

“They are going to look like you. I know they will.” I leaned against him.

 

“I bet they are going to look like a prefect mix of both of us. My eyes and nose and your lips and hair.”

 

“Why not my eyes and nose and your lips and hair?” I teased.

 

“Do you really want to curse our babies with this mess?” Yunho tugged on his hair.

 

I ran my hand through his hair and smiled. “You have wonderful hair.”

 

He kissed me quickly. I giggled and laid back. “Help your hippo-hubby get changed?”

 

“You're not a hippo. You have barely gained any weight.” Yunho grabbed my sweat pants and a t-shirt. “You're beautiful.”

 

He undid my pants and I shimmied out of them.

 

“Those are my boxers,” he said with a laugh.

 

“I know. Yours are more comfortable.” I smiled. Yunho helped me into the sweat pants.

 

He laid down next to me. “There's a possibility that I can get more hours at another store. Early in the morning, though.”

 

“How early?”

 

“6 AM.”

 

“That's too early. Don't do it.” I rubbed his back.

 

“We need the money though. Once the babies are here, I want to cut back my hours to help you take care of them.”

 

“We don't need the money that badly. I want to do as much as possible on our own, but if we really need it, I know my parents will help.”

 

“We can't rely on our families. That's not fair to them. And it's not fair to us. We need to show everyone that we can make it on our own.”

 

“We don't need to prove anything!” I shouted. “We just need to take care of our babies. That's all that's important. Mom's beside herself, she's so happy to have babies in the house again. I don't want you to overwork yourself.”

 

“We aren't going to fight about this. I'm taking the extra hours. We need the money. We are going to need a crap ton of stuff for the babies; new furniture, diapers, food, formula. Jaejoongie, we're going to be taking care of two tiny humans.”

 

“I hadn't really thought about that. Mom's been so excited. She's been talking about how much she loves caring for babies. I guess I just thought it would be easy.”

 

“Yeah. It's going to be hard. But I'm here to help you.”

 

I chewed on my lip and stared at my hands. “I'm sorry. I'm being selfish, aren't I?”

 

“No. I think you're just letting the excitement override your common sense.”

 

I took his hand in mine and place it on my stomach. We couldn't feel the babies move yet, but it was still a comfort to have his hand there.

 

“They are going to be so beautiful,” he said softly.

 

“We keep saying that. I was a goofy looking kid. I wonder if they will look goofy too.” I laid back, pulling Yunho with me. I rolled on to my side. I wasn't tired at all. “Why do you want to move into the cabin so much?”

 

“It's just a thought. It's bigger, more room for the babies when they get older. And it's a nice piece of land, so there would be lots of space for the babies to play.”

 

“And it was your Mom's,” I filled in.

 

“There's that too. I want a place that will be ours.” Yunho ran his hand up and down my sides.

 

“I'm just not ready to leave Mom and Dad yet. I know it seems silly, but I really need Mom right now.”

 

“I know. I'm sorry. I just want to be with you all time to protect you.”

 

“I'm not glass,” I whispered. “I'm not going to break.”

 

“I'm just worried about you. This can't be easy for you and I want you to know that I'm supporting you the best that I can.”

 

I kissed Yunho softly. “I know you are. You don't have to prove anything to me.”

 

“I'm really worried about. I don't what you to stress yourself out.”

 

“I won't. Just don't treat me like I'll break and I won't break.”

 

We talked until I fell asleep. I tucked my head against his chest. He rubbed my belly.

 

 

Yunho was gone for work before I woke up. It felt weird being in his house with out him there. Mr. Jung and Changmin were also gone when I went down stairs to get something to drink.

 

Michiko was in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee and flipping through the pages of a magazine.

 

She jumped up and got me a glass of juice and my vitamins. “Yunho's at work.”

 

“I figured as much.” I took my pills and sat down. I didn't eat breakfast. I didn't want to feel sick for the rest of the morning. “Do you think it's a good idea that Yunho and I live separately?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, Yunho's been saying he wants us to move into his mother's cabin, so we can be together. But I keep arguing that I need to be with my mom for now. It's like I'm afraid to be away from Mom right now. We can live together after the babies are born.”

 

“I think it's very mature of you to be able to realize your own limitations. You need to be with your family for right now and that's completely okay. Yunho will just have to learn to live with it for the time being.”

 

“So I'm not being selfish and silly?”

 

“No. You do need to be with your mother. At least until the babies are born. Just make sure to tell Yunho you love him everyday.”

 

I gave her a quick hug. “I will. I promise. I love him so much.”

 

“He's just feeling a little insecure and nervous. He wants to do what's right for you.”

 

I jumped up from my chair when I heard Junsu calling for me. “I'll be back before Yunho gets here,” I promised. Michiko smiled and waved goodbye before turning to do the breakfast dishes.

 

Junsu took hold of my hand as we walked down the street to Yoochun's house. “How are you feeling today?” he asked.

 

“Why is everyone always asking me that?”

 

“Because we are all concerned about you. Are you okay?”

 

“I'm fine. Feeling a little bloated, but I'm fine.”

 

“As long as you're okay.” Junsu squeezed my hand.

 

“I am surrounded by the most dramatic people in the world, I swear to god.” I bumped his shoulder with mine and smiled.

 

“We all just love you and want to make sure you're okay.” He kissed my cheek. “So, Yoochun wants to hang out today. When Yunho gets off work we can grab Changmin and have dinner somewhere.”

 

Yoochun was sprawled out on his bad, playing a video game. Junsu crawled on to the bed and laid across his back. I took a seat by the head board.

 

“Next save point, I'll set up Mario Cart or something.”

 

“You don't have,” I said. “What are you playing?”

 

“Silent Hill 2. It's a horror game.”

 

“It doesn't look scary.” I glanced at the screen. A man was running down a dirt road, surrounded by fog.

 

“I just started. It's not a jump scare type game. It's all about atmosphere and questioning your sanity.”

 

“I want to watch you play,” I said, not looking away from the screen.

 

“Okay. That okay with you, Junsu?” Yoochun turned to look at Junsu.

 

Junsu shrugged. “I guess. Kiss first?” Yoochun laughed, but sat up slightly to capture Junsu's mouth with his. Their kiss was different from the ones that Yunho and I shared. Theirs was softer, less hurried. Yunho almost always kissed me hard and desperately. Especially lately. Everything was just so rushed.

 

Junsu smiled and flopped down across Yoochun's back. “You okay, Jaejoong?”

 

“Yeah. I'm just thinking.” Junsu sat up and pulled me so I was laying down next to Yoochun.

 

“Don't do that. Use Yoochunnie as a pillow and watch him play a scary game,” Junsu teased. “Don't worry about anything.”

 

I adjusted my position, resting my head on Yoochun's shoulder. “Is this okay?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, you're fine.” He reach behind and rubbed my head. He turned back to his game. The game was creepy. Not scary, just... Unsettling. I relaxed against Yoochun's side and closed my eyes.

 

The pregnancy was making me tired at the weirdest times. I figured a quick nap would be fine and I could still get back to Yunho's before he got out of work.

 

In theory. In theory I could take a quick nap. Reality, on the other hand was a completely different beast. I rolled on to my side, using Yoochun as a body pillow and slept for the rest of the afternoon.

 

I was getting very sick of the amount of sleep my body decided I needed. But Yoochun's body was so warm and his breathing was soothing.

 

I woke up to Junsu rubbing my back and whispering in my ear. “Wow. Are you sure you're okay? You literally passed out like 5 minutes after you laid down.”

 

“It's normal. At least that's what the doctor said. My body is using all its energy to help the babies grow. But I hate that I want to sleep all the time.”

 

“Well, Yunho will be here soon. So you can sleep on your boyfriend instead of mine.”

 

“Sorry, Yoochun,” I whispered. I hung my head to hide the blush creeping up my face.

 

Yoochun shoved my shoulder gently. “It's okay. I know you need your rest.”

 

“What did I miss from the game?” I asked. I turned to the screen. The main character ran around what looked like an abandoned hospital.

 

“Kinda a lot. You can play it next. There are a bunch of different endings, depending on what you do in the game.”

 

“Neat.” Junsu laughed and settled back down on the bed. I sat back against the head board and waited for Yunho.

 

Changmin burst into the room moments later and flopped on the bed.

 

“Where have you been all day?” I asked. I slipped his hand into his hair.

 

“With someone,” he said.

 

“With who?” Junsu asked.

 

“Just a person. I'm not ready to introduce... That person... To the group yet. Just give me time.” Changmin picked at a piece of lint on his pants.

 

“Okay. We do want to meet... This person... Sometime soon.”

 

“I know. I just need time with this person, before I subject them to the group. We're a bit of a shock to deal with.”

 

I nodded. As much as I wanted to meet Changmin's mystery person, I knew how overwhelming our group could be. I played with Changmin's hair. It was softer than Yunho's, but thicker.

 

It wasn't long before Yunho entered the room. He plopped down in the chair next to Yoochun's desk.

 

“Are you okay, Baby?” I asked. I sat on the edge on the bed and pulled his feet on to my lap.

 

“Yeah. I'm fine. Just tired.”

 

I rubbed his feet. “Are you hungry? We can go to my place and I can cook something. Or we can go to yours.”

 

“I just want to relax for a little while. We could go to the diner. All five of us.” He moaned as I pressed on the arch of his foot.

 

I stood and leaned forward to kiss him. Yunho moved to tangle his hand into my hair. I pulled away from him.

 

“What's wrong?” he asked.

 

“I don't know,” I lied. Everything in our life felt so rushed, suddenly. I wanted a moment of calm and peace.

 

“Okay,” he whispered. He pulled me on to his lap and gave me a tight squeeze. “Let me know if something's bothering you okay.” He kissed my cheek.

 

“Do that again,” I whispered.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Kiss my cheek. Really soft.”

 

Yunho smiled and pressed his lips to my cheek. He nuzzled his nose against my jaw.

 

“Are you sure you're okay?” he whispered against my skin.

 

“Yeah. We'll talk about it later, okay?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my nose into his hair. A musky scent filled my nostrils. He smelt so good after working all day.

 

“Are you two finish?”Changmin complained. “Do you ever stop?”

 

“Sorry.” I blushed.

 

“I'm getting hungry. Let's go get dinner.” Changmin stood up and dragged my off Yunho's lap. I stumbled, but Yunho steadied me with his hand on my back.

 

As we walked to the diner, Changmin grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “I'm stealing Jaejoong to talk. Go on up ahead.”

 

“What's wrong?” I asked. Changmin didn't let go of my hand.

 

“Nothing, really. It's just...” he paused. “The person I've been spending a lot of time with...”

 

“Are they hurting you? Did this person hit you?” I tried not to panic.

 

“No. No. It's nothing like that. It's just that... Have you ever heard of gender-queer?” he asked, hanging his head.

 

“No. Explain it.” I gave his hand a quick squeeze.

 

“The person I've been hanging out with says they're gender-queer. They don't like to use gendered pronouns, like 'he' or 'she'. And sometimes they dress more masculine and sometimes more feminine.”

 

“Are and this person dating?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around everything Changmin was telling me.

 

“Not really. We hang out and we've kissed a couple times. But I don't think we're dating.” Changmin sighed. “I just don't want anyone to think they're weird.”

 

I starting laughing. Changmin scowled. “No. No, Changminnie no. Just think about this; I'm male and I'm pregnant. A gender-queer person isn't going to be the weirdest thing in this group.” I kissed his cheek. “Listen, when you and this person feel comfortable, we'll all have dinner together. 'Kay?”

 

“Yeah. Thanks.”

 

We jogged to catch back up to the group. I thought about everything going on in my life. I was convinced that I would never a normal day of my life. Though, normal, as they said, was relative.

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Hey, look at me. Updating and stuff. Anyway, have I said that I love, love, LOVE parkmincheon so much for letting me adopt this plot bunny and go crazy with it? Because I do. I love her bunches and bunches.

So, I have some stuff and things. First my tumblr is serenitygracethings.tumblr.com follow me for random kpop (mostly Yunho) things, personal junk and previews of stories. Second, I gots the kik- serenityeryx- we can chat and stuff.