It took a while before Sulli calmed down. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I must have said “I’m fine,” and “I just felt a little ill, but it went away,” at least a thousand times before she started actually hearing it.

“So… so you’re okay?”

“Yes,” I said once again, my patience incredibly thin.

“And you didn’t eat anything while you were on your date?”

“Sulli, I told you already! It wasn’t a date!”

She frowned and moped. “Well… whatever. At least you saw the band for a little bit. They were good, huh?”

I averted my eyes. “Yeah. Pretty good.” Really good is more like it, I thought.

Sulli finally left me alone so I retreated to my room, exhausted from our circular conversation. Then, my phone binged. I stared at it.

A text. From Sunggyu.

Yah, Sulli said you were sick. Are you better?

-From Sunggyu Jerk at 7:26pm

I just stared at it for a while. Why did he care if I was sick or not? I began typing a response.

It’s nothing, and no, it wasn’t from something I ate…

I deleted it and started again.

I’m fine, thanks for asking, I just wish I could have stayed…

I deleted it once more, frowning. Then, on an impulse, I instead hit dial and held the phone to my ear, waiting for him to pick up.

What are you doing?!, that small part of me screeched at myself. Not too long ago, I was avoiding this guy like my life depended on it. But there’s something about my choosing to encounter him. As if I had a bigger say in our relations with each other. Besides, this time, I had something I wanted to tell him.

Honestly, I did.

He picked up on the fourth ring.

“Yoboseyo?” I could tell by his voice that my call surprised him.

“It’s me. Choa.”

“Yeah, but… why are you calling?”

“Well, I was going to respond to your text but I figured this was easier.”

He drew a deep breath and I lay my head on my pillow, listening to the sound. I used to hate the man. But now, listening to him seemed to put me at ease.

What the hell happened to me?

“So? Are you better?”

“Well, to be honest, I wasn’t ever sick. I just… had to leave.”

“Why? Was it something that guy said?” The way he asked and the emphasis he put on ‘that guy’ told me loud and clear that he didn’t much care for Howon.

I shook my head though he couldn’t see it. “No. He didn’t say anything wrong.”

“Is it something he did?” There was strain in his voice.

“No! No… he definitely didn’t cross any boundaries or anything. He’s a good guy,” I added unnecessarily.

Another deep sigh. “Well. He sounds like a good fit. I’m happy for you.”

“What does that mean? It’s not like we’re dating or anything.”

“…”

I paused. I wondered what he thought of me calling like this. I hoped he didn’t think it was a waste of his time.

“Sunggyu. I have something I want to tell you.”

Silence.

“You… you were really good tonight. Your singing, I mean.”

“…Thanks. I guess I’m glad you finally got to see it.”

This time it was my turn to be silent. But I had so much more I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I loved his song, more than any song I had ever heard before. That it brought me to tears and stirred up all these irrational and weighty and confusing emotions within me. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to watch him sing again. Sometime sooner rather than later, if possible. Even if it was out in the woods, where no one else was around. Where I can pretend he was singing only for me.

But all of those words got caught in the base of my throat. The only thing that made it out was, “Well. I guess I should go to bed.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“Good night, Sunggyu.”

“Good night, Choa.”

I listened for a beat longer, and when he didn’t say anything else, I began to pull the phone away from my ear.

“Yah! Wait a minute!” he suddenly said. I quickly drew it to rest on my ear once more.

“What is it?” I said.

“Do you… do you want to go on a walk with me? Tomorrow morning?”

I almost gasped in surprise. “A walk? With you?”

“Yah, don’t act so surprised, it’s not like we haven’t taken a walk together before.”

“Yeah, but last time was more of an accident,” I said with a frown. “You… you really want me to be there on purpose?”

“Well. Yeah. I guess so. I mean, why not? We’re just two regular people going out for a little walk in the woods. …Why not?”

Why not?, I repeated, asking myself. I couldn’t come up with a valid reason. Not a single excuse.

“Unless, you already made plans with someone else or something--”

“No.”

“… No, like you don’t want to go??”

“Oh! No, sorry, I meant, ‘no’ like I don’t have any plans. What I mean is…" I closed my eyes. Was I really saying this? "Yes. Yes, I would love to go.”

He hesitated, and then, to my surprise, he chuckled. “Well. Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Uh. Okay,” I responded. I waited a second for him to hang up first, but when he didn’t, I punched the button to end my call and threw my phone onto the covers, staring up at the ceiling.

A walk. Tomorrow. Alone, with Sunggyu.

Okay, I repeated to myself. Okay.

---

Confession: I became an EXOtic. I even began writing a fanfic about them. Ugh! Why am I so easily distracted!! I'm such a fail.