Howon pulled into my driveway and killed the ignition. I had been wondering how this moment would play out, and now that it was here, I felt pleasantly surprised. I thought it would be wrought with awkwardness. But I peeked over to Howon, meeting his warm gaze, and instead of frowning or judging me, he smiled. At once I realized how comfortable it was to be with him. How comfortable it always was, and probably always will be, no matter what.

“Kumawoyo,” I said, offering a small but genuine smile back.

He the back of his head. “Aniyo. It’s nothing. I’m just… I’m glad you’re better?”

“Yeah. Much better. Though, I’m sure this wasn’t exactly how you hoped today would happen, so I’m sorry…”

“What do you mean? I had a lot of fun.”

I playfully punched at his arm. He grinned.

“Seriously! I did! I mean, I spent the day with you. I showed you dancing, the only thing in my life worth living for. And I saw you cheering me on. That already is more than enough for me.” I shot him a skeptical look and he smiled. “Really, Choa. I mean it.”

Our gazes caught for a moment, and I realized that I didn’t have anything to add nor any reason to look away, and that made me feel embarrassed. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I knew that he saw it. It took a moment before I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat, turning my gaze to stare at nothing in particular outside.

“Well. Thank you for today,” I said. “I guess I better go now--”

I unbuckled my seatbelt and pulled the door handle open, when he suddenly caught my hand.

“Wait.”

I froze, as did he, and we both looked at where his strong fingers lay gently on mine. Then we both recoiled, bug-eyed. It was his turn to look at nothing in particular out on the street. I let my hand rest awkwardly on my lap.

“You… you still have something you need to tell me.”

I blinked. “What is it?” If it had anything to do with me crying, then there was nothing I could say. Hell, I still wasn’t sure what exactly happened.

But he turned his trademark grin towards me and chuckled. “…Do you admit that I’m good at dancing? Or are you willing to lie and say I’m not?”

I could always count on him to break any awkwardness. I tried to fight a smile. “My, my, my. That’s one big head you’ve got there, Howon. How do you even walk around with it?”

He smirked. “It’s no burden at all. Not with all the big muscles I have.”

I laughed. “Howon, you are too much!”

“You haven’t answered my question! Do you admit it, or don’t you?”

I sized him up for a moment. His eyes sparkled with mischief and he grinned widely. I drew a theatrical sigh. “Okay. Fine. You’re… you’re better than okay.”

He squinted. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“I’m not quite sure if I’m okay with that.”

I chuckled. “Maybe I need to see you in action a few more times before I can really decide.”

“Choa… is that a promise?”

“Possibly.”

“I’ll take it!” he said excitedly. Then, he jumped out of the car, rounded the front, and came to open my door for me, stretching out a hand. I tried not to laugh at his excited determination.

“Don’t forget, Choa. That means you owe me dinner,” he said as he pulled me out of the car.

“Well, Howon, pick a place and we’ll go. But only if the food is really good.”

He smiled. “Definitely.”

Then, I walked up my driveway, fully aware that he was watching and that it was suddenly so easy to trip over my own two feet. At the front door I stopped to wave at him. He shot me another grin and with an athletic grace I could only wish I had, got back in his car and pulled out.

Back in my house, alone, I frowned, wondering what exactly was happening to me. I knew there was indecisiveness within me, but I still wasn’t so sure what it was I was supposed to be deciding. And this unknown threatened to pull me in two different directions, down two roads that both led to beautiful beginnings, but absolutely could not simultaneously occur.

I flopped on my bed and sighed loudly to the ceiling. Then, I dug into my pocket and absently dug out my phone.

I had 13 missed calls. All from Sulli.

What the?! Immediately I called her back, and she picked up on the first ring.

“YAH! UNNI!”

Sulli shrieked so hard into my ear that I recoiled for a moment, cringing. “Sulli? What the heck?!”

“Unni, what happened to you?? Are you alright?!”

“I’m fine,” I hesitated.

“But where did you go?! You left during Woohyun and Sunggyu’s song so suddenly… is everything okay?! Did you not like it? Did something happen? Unni, explain!!”

I heard voices in the background. Sulli wasn’t alone. I frowned. “I told you already. I’m fine. I just… something came up. But Sulli, where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way home. They’re giving me a ride back right now.”

I froze. “ ‘They’?? You mean… are you in the car right now with Woohyun and… and Sunggyu??”

“Neh, majayo. And Myungsoo too.”

“So they also know I left??”

“Well… well yeah, I mean, they’re listening right now…”

I groaned. For some reason, I did not want them to know that I left. I didn’t want to have to explain to them what happened. I still couldn’t explain it to myself.

“Sulli. I’ll just… I’ll see you when you get home--”

“But Unni!! You haven’t explained anything yet!!”

“I just… I don’t know! I got sick!” I lied badly. I still couldn’t believe that the boys knew about my leaving. What would they think about it?

Were they offended?

“Sick?? Unni, was it something you ate? Something you had while you were out on your date?”

I almost dropped my phone. Did she really just say that out loud? Did she just admit to the others that I had been there because of a date?

I hung up, making a mental note to ask her forgiveness later. I suddenly felt guilty, like I did something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what I did. I still had a lot of thinking to do, and staying on the line with her knowing that the others were also on their way… it definitely wasn’t going to help.

 ---

Update one of two.