She rolls over in the white sheets to snuggle even closer to the man whose arms are wound so tightly around her. She presses her body against his sleeping frame in hopes of imprinting this casual everyday moment into her memory. The presence of her man won't be here tomorrow. Or the next day, or the next week, or month, or year. There she goes again, reminding herself of how every action in these three hours will be some of the last for the next two years.

 

The peaceful expression in his sleep has her missing him already. The way Yongguk's plump lips slightly curl into a pout has her distracted when she imagines that genuine gummy smile on his face. That smile. He won't be able to give her that endearing smile she fell in love with so long ago. She allows herself to lightly over his sharp jawline with the tips of her fingers and gently smiles when he lets out a slight sigh in his sleep.

 

She's in the middle of memorizing the beautiful expanse of his neck when she is taken aback by the dark circles under his eyes. Sadness overwhelms her when she realizes why those circles are there. The two of them spent all of last night up together since they were equally uneasy about their very near future. This is their last night together afterall. No more late night pillow talks, no more cuddling, no more embraces. None of the little things that she loves so much about him will be present in her daily life. It's just that she loves him and he loves her and they both realize that their love for each other will never falter. But the certain loneliness for the next two years has them at an emotional standstill.

 

Two years is a long time. Two years without those stay at home movie nights, morning jogs around their neighborhood, lazy days in bed...it's too long to go on without that standard routine of having that special someone nearby. 

 

Not to mention her brother. The baby brother that she loves so dearly will be gone as well. The little child who could barely drop kick a soccer ball two feet away is now a mature young man prepared to fulfill his duties. She is horrified to think that the little boy she is meant to protect will soon be protecting others as an active draftee. It seems like it was only yesterday when he was flopping around in snow and trying to make snow angels and yellow pee rings around frosted trees. She'll miss that goofy smile he gives whenever he pulls a prank, she'll miss that little pout where his lower lip juts out when she scolds him, she'll miss that twinkle in his eyes whenever he knows she's proud of him. As a nineteen year old joining the military early to follow his hyungs, Zelo makes her extremely proud. She's proud to know that her little brother is willing to be there for his hyungs with complete dedication, enthusiasm, and loyalty. It's just that the next two years will lack the much needed innocence and entertainment her youthful brother provides so effortlessly. 

 

As a young fiancée and older sister, her mind is a wreck. It's not the turmoil in her mind that's giving her so much grief though. It's what's going on in her heart. These two men mean the world to her. One man provides the utmost love and acceptance while the other is the subject of complete unconditional sibling love. The fact that they won't be in her daily life has her wishing this is all a bad dream. Yeah, she will miss Himchan, Daehyun, Youngjae, and Jongup as well; her platonic love for them is everlasting. But the absence of the two has her stomach jittery and palms damp with anxiety.

 

She's doing it again; over thinking the future instead of living in the moment. Yes, she knows very well that everything will be different three hours for now. But as she nestles her head into the warm neck of her sleeping fiancée on this beautiful early morning, she finds temporary comfort at the faint sound of his breathing. The way his hands unconsciously massage up and down the middle of her back has her at ease. Nothing can ruin this moment until their departure which is roughly three hours away.

 

/SNORT~/

 

Or not. Zelo's obnoxious snore is heard through the walls. He fell asleep on their couch after B.A.P's goodbye party last night and never left. With a gentle smile on her face she snuggles even closer to Yongguk and closes her eyes to the rhythm of her fiancée's heartbeat and brother's snores.

 

Three more hours.

 

---

 

This chapter was a little bit different than the others. What do you think?