“But I thought you liked him as much as you like me.” The handsome boy whispered in Kyuhyun’s ear lifting his gaze and looking directly into Kyuhyu’s eyes through the boy’s glasses. In that moment, Kyuhyun’s heart stopped as Changmin’s face came closer to his.

“Haha, you are cute when you are flustered. Come on, we should eat, I’m hungry!” Changmin said smiling as he stood up and extended his hand in order to help Kyuhyun stand too. The younger boy’s face was extremely red with embarrassment, but decided to cover up for it. “Yah, how can you be hungry? And I need to shower before going out.”

Changmin stared at his best friend in disbelief. Had he not known him his entire life? “A better question would be: when am I not hungry? And take a shower once we get back, it’s not as if taking a shower will make you look better.” The older scoffed as he started walking towards the door.

“That ing .” The shorter boy muttered under his breath as he watched the giant leave. “Yah! Wait for me!”

They once again hopped into Changmin’s car. “Where do you want to eat?” The elder asked once he started the engine. The raven haired boy looked out the window contemplating his options. “Hmm, can we eat ddeokbokki?” He answered after a minute nodding his head in excitement.

“Sure.” Changmin smiled at his and started driving. “By the way, did you know Heechul and Hangeng are coming back?” Kyuhyun felt in that moment as thought all his happiness had left him and his body energy was drained completely out of his body, leaving nothing inside. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling all too well.

Noticing Kyuhyun’s lack of reaction, Changmin looked at his expectantly. “Aren’t you happy? I know you really miss Chullie.” The younger boy snapped out from his trance and stuttered his answer. “Yah! Of course I’m…I’m happy, hahaha. I just didn’t know he was coming soon, I was just surprised…Yes, surprised.” Changmin gave the boy a weird look. “Yeah, surprised.” He muttered.

Once they reached the ddeokbokki stand, both boys ordered and sat on an empty table. At first, they were both concentrated on eating, Changmin being the hungry monster he is and Kyuhyun needing to feel full of something other than the immense paranoia and fear that was eating him. And the guilt, the ing guilt.

He was honestly, truly excited to see Heechul and Hangeng. After all, they were his favorite people in the world, but he was aware of the consequences it would have. The couple, the 28 year old men, his neighbors, his friends, his brothers, his parents, those meanings they held in his life, but also those of his saviors and secret keepers.

“Yah!” Changmin snapped his finger in front of Kyuhyun in order to gain the other’s attention. “You are zoning out. What are you thinking about?” Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing, just school and homework.”

“Pfft, that’s so like you!”

“Yah! What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyuhyun was ready to smack Changmin’s head when the other grabbed his hand mid-air. “Oh, so you think you can hit me?”

“Ya-Yah! Let go of my hand!” Changmin obeyed his order, but soon notice Kyuhyun had something in his cheek, right besides his lips. “Learn to eat! Clean your face.” Embarrassed, Kyuhyun quickly cleaned his face with the back of his face, but he too noticed Changmin had the same problem. “Psht, you talk, but don’t you know you are the same?”

Changmin’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?” He desperately tried to clean his face, but failed to complete the task and an amused Kyu extended his hand and did it for him. As soon as his hand came in contact with the elder’s skin, he felt a rush of electricity run through his body, but didn’t show it.

“Now, we are even.” Kyuhyun stuck his tongue at Changmin seeing as the older boy blushed at Kyuhyun’s actions.

And for the second time that day, Kyuhyun’s world crumbled in the blink of an eye. In the far away corner sat a group of five girls glaring at him like there was no tomorrow. From experience, Kyuhyun had already learned to understand those looks, those meant, he was near Changmin, breathing near Changmin, eating near Changmin, simple existing near Changmin…and that was a deadly sin.

In the time Kyuhyun had lived, he had learned there were all kinds of people. He was one of those persons who liked to think about every other person, to see how they were since once he thought every person had good intentions. It was a beautiful day, the soft wind flapped and fluttered around Kyuhyun and Changmin, and it struck him that he was in front of his long time crush and there was a vast ocean between them. Not everyone was well intentions, the wind murmured and tickled his ear whispering and talking him into giving up. Changmin was seating in front of him and for a moment, he wanted to speak, to say all the words that were flowing and drowning his existence, but as he casted a glance towards the girls in the table at the corner, he knew. Kyuhyun knew not everyone was on his side and for the first time he noticed he had doubted that Changmin would be on his side.

“Kyu, we should leave,” he said “it’s getting late.” And all Kyuhyun doubts dissipated as soon as Changmin put his arm around his shoulder and ruffled his hair leading him towards the car…but the fear. The fear never left him.

-

“Where will I sleep?” The older boy raised a brow at the sudden question. “You can sleep here like you always do.” Kyuhyun looked around the room; his heart was beating fast, almost too fast. “Unless you don’t want to, you can sleep on the guest room.” Changmin scratched a phantom itch on the back of his neck as he looked around uncomfortably, nervous.

They had done this a thousand times and still there was something about the repeated gesture, the question and the answer as to where he’d sleep that kept Kyuhyun hoping that Changmin might feel the same as he feels.

He shook his head. “No, I’ll sleep here.” Both boys were already wearing their pajamas; Changmin’s definition of those was long pants and no shirt and that didn’t make Kyuhyun nervous as it would make others when sleeping with their crush. But Kyuhyun wasn’t ordinary and he would never think of Changmin in a ual way…he had his reasons.

“Goodnight Kyu.” Changmin said as he turned off the light and hopped into bed. “Goodnight Minnie.” The younger boy answered as he too laid in bed and pulled the covers up, kissed the elder’s cheek and turned his back on him. That night he slept with his glasses on and the blanket covering his face, but he knew Changmin wouldn’t bother trying to see his face and he too had his reasons.

-

Next day was similar to Monday morning: both boys ate breakfast, courtesy of Changmin, made it to school, Kyuhyun earlier than Changmin and then, they ignored each other for the rest of the day. However, the rest of the day was not the same. At lunch Kyuhyun was on his way to his now usual sitting place with Ryeowook, Taemin, Sungmin and Naeun when someone stopped him. There was no one else in the hallway besides him and those five figures.

“Cho Kyuhyun...”

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