Chapter 4: Consults and Secrets
Crystal Feathers“You’re here; I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re still wearing those glasses?”- It was more of a statement than a question.
“Obviously, you see them.”
“What are you trying to hide? You know you still look pretty, I mean handsome, but I wonder how you’d look without them.”
No comments were heard from the boy.
“Your parents said you had another breakdown.”
“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for that, don’t you think?”
“Will you answer my questions this time?”
“You still get paid for your time, so don’t worry for the answers. You don’t actually want them.”
“I see.”-The middle aged woman sighed leaning back in her chair.-“Kyuhyun, your parents are worried for you; they think something happened to you in order for your behavior to change so drastically and suddenly, and honestly I think something happened too. I need you to talk to me; you can’t suppress everything inside you. It’ll eat you alive.”
The boy still didn’t answer; he just looked at her with that blank expression of his. It seemed he was entertained inspecting the room and its decorations. In his perspective, the room was too sad for one to want to confess anything in it.
“What made you lock yourself in the bathroom this time for hours I might add?”
“…”
“What made you need to close yourself from the world?”
“I hate him.”- The young boy said looking to his side, out the window and to the street. “I never thought I could hate someone, but I hate him.”- He seemed to be lost in own world.
“Who are you talking about Kyuhyun? Who do you hate?”
“Jung Yunho, I hate Jung Yunho.”- He finally said after two minutes of looking at the floor. His hair covered his face, but his eyes were closed as he said those words for the first time.
“Jung Yunho as in Changmin’s friend?”
Kyuhyun nodded and the woman now became more interested than ever to find out the mystery behind Cho Kyuhyun.
“Why do you hate him?”
“Because he took Changmin away from me that night. If he hadn’t called Changmin, if he hadn’t met him then Changmin wouldn’t have gone there or at least he would’ve stayed with me. If Yunho hadn’t called him, Changmin would have taken me home; he wouldn’t have left me there. He wouldn’t leave behind, alone in that place. Nothing would’ve changed. I’d still be the stupid and pathetic Cho Kyuhyun who followed him around and he’d be the Changmin who always ruffled my hair and come into my room late at night, who always showed my a cheeky grin. We we'd ssstill be best friends aand he-”- At last the boy broke down into uncontrollable sobs, he was trembling. For the first time in two years, this woman had in front of her a vulnerable and broken Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun on the other hand was feeling a burning need to say everything he felt, everything that he had bottled long ago and was making him feel little and even littler like poison. However, this wasn’t the person he wanted to talk to, but he just couldn’t stop.
“Kyuhyun, listen to me. What night? What are you talking about?”
“I..I went out with Changmin to a party, my.. pa parents didn’t know. He invited me and I went with him saying I’d stay at his house. After some minutes Yunho came and took Changmin with him, he met a girl and told me he’d be back later. He didn’t come back soon, so I thought I should leave and I did, but he-”- More sobs and deep breaths, the boy was struggling to breathe.
“Why did you leave?”
“He had just started high school and there were new things he wanted to try, I was in the middle so I left!”- He screamed desperately.
“But if he left you…why is he the only one who can calm you down whenever you have a breakdown? He seems to be responsible for your behavior in the last months.”
“Because I wanted him to be there that day, I wanted him to save me, to help me. I wanted him to take care of me and love me! I didn’t want to be alone, but I got it okay? I wanted it to be him! Him! Just ing him!”- He was starting to hit his legs while screaming his thoughts, looking nowhere specifically. Once again, he sat on the floor with his knees pressed to his chest, his hands on his ears.
“Wait calm down Kyuhyun, calm down! Are you saying you are in love with Changmin? Your best friend Changmin?”-But even with the calm and even soothing tone, it seems that question triggered something in the lost boy and he whipped his tears, stood up and glared coldly at the woman.
“I don’t have to tell you anything.”- With that he left the room slamming the door behind him.
“There’s more to that Cho Kyuhyun and I’ll find out. I’m worried about him.”- The woman sighed rubbing her temples.
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“How did it go darling?”- Asked his mom as soon as Kyuhyun was in the car, she noticed his puffy read eyes, but decided not to make any comments.
“I told you I didn’t want to go back to the psychologist. I’m okay mom, nothing happened to me I just like this glasses and I don’t want to go out with anyone because I don’t feel like it, besides I’m surrounded by morons so it’s safer to stay home and play games.”
“Darling, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright since your father and I are leaving tomorrow.”- His mother said while putting her hand on his shoulder. “I think you’ll like the person you’ll be staying with.”- She smiled at him, talking in the sweetest way possible.
“Whatever mom, if it’s not Heechul then I probably won’t be happy.”
“If he were here I’d leave you with him, but he’s not back yet and you know that perfectly well.”
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Sunday was spent in the silence and tranquility of his bedroom. Sitting on his bed, Kyuhyun played videogames while listening to music. There was something he loved about music, it made him happy, something that actually made him happy in life… Meybe it was because musci could express every feeling and be understood while he couldn't.
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A boy entered a room on Monday morning and stood before a bed in which laid a body tangled in the sheets, they covered the person’s face completely. He extended his hand to reach for the covers and see the face that was hidden behind them, but as he reached for them, he stopped. He hadn’t seen that face in so long and even if he was dying to see it again, this wasn’t the way. He had already forgotten the most beautiful face he’s ever seen, or maybe he remembered it too well. So he retreated his hand and opted for a different method.
“Rise and shine sleepyhead.”
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