I know Heechul love me, but to what extent? Although he’s confessing here in front of me, outright and powerful, I’m still not certain. Maybe this is just a crush, or a serious infatuation, but love…?

 “Yerin,” he said, “can you love me back after the hundred days end? Will you?”

I look at him, straight in his eyes, filling my emotion with his powerful and serious stare. Shin Yerin, what are you going to say?

“Honestly…” I started. Heechul’s eyes widened. “…at some point…I may have liked you. But…saying that I love you now will be a lie.”

Heechul looked away. I started to upset as well. I don’t want to do this…

“Heechul, want do you want me to do? Force myself to love you?” I asked, getting upset. I don’t want to cry, but tears started to form in my eyes.

“Isn’t it enough that I love you?” he asked, still not looking. “Isn’t it enough to have someone who’s going to care for you for the rest of your life?”

“What am I, a patient, to need for some care?” I said back.

Heechul looked at me. “Then what?” he said, disappointment was present in his voice.

“If you do love me, then wait…” I said, standing up, heading for the door.

“Yerin…” Heechul said, stopping me from my pace. “…I will wait.”

With his last word, I turned my back to him and opened the door of his hospital room. I walked out of the room and headed for the entrance door of the hospital. The entrance of the hospital is still like what it is last night. There are a couple of media people but there is still a bunch fans camping outside the hospital. My eyes are b with tears, but I wiped it away so to not get attention.

I expected more. I expected more.

Yerin, why can’t you love me back? Why? What do I have to do for you to love me?

I lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling with only Yerin in my mind. Her stares a while ago gave me comfort and pain at the same time. Love me…please.

KIM HEECHUL! Snap out of it! Yerin is not the only girl in the world; there are girls who are more beautiful than Yerin…

But…curse my heart for telling me that Yerin is the one. She’s the one, and my heart guaranties it.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. Then, I fell asleep.

I was walking in a deserted and barren field. Grasses are wilting, trees are dying, and flowers are turning into dust. The sun’s heat is scorching, which made me feel that I was being burned alive. No water was in sight, just distant mountains and hills.

I was suffocating in the heat of the sun. “I want water…” I whispered.

A flash of light streamed out from the crack on the land I was stand. I closed my eyes from the blinding light. And when I opened my eyes, a miracle was in front of me. A bountiful stream, bursting with life and colors was beautifully welcoming me with its clear water.

“I hope the sun is less hot,” I wished again. And it did. Although the sun was shining brightly, its rays are not scorching anymore.

I sat down on the side of the stream, and drank from its clear water.

What is going on? All that I ask for is coming true. This can’t be right?

Unless…

I wanted to try something. “I want to see Yerin,” I whispered.

Then, a light, shining brightly, was coming from a hill nearby. When the light disappeared, Yerin was standing there, alongside a dying tree on top of the hill.

“Yerin,” I whispered to myself.

I ran, as fast as I can, to get to her. The hill is a one heck of a climb, but I didn’t mind at all.

“Yerin,” I said once more, and hugged her. Her smile made my soul and body awake. “It really is you.”

“It really is me,” she said with a giggle. “Why are we here?” she asked, looking around.

I looked at the surrounding. Aside from the stream, everything else is dying. Then, I wished again, “Make this place a paradise.”

Again, a blinding light lighted the whole place. Both Yerin and I closed our eyes. When we finally opened our eyes, we are in paradise. The dying tree bloomed with pink flower petals, the stream became more alive. Trees and flowers bloomed ever where. Everything was wonderful.

“This place is so beautiful,” Yerin said.

“Do you want to stay here?” I asked.

“Yes,” she simply answered.

“With me?” I asked.

Yerin looked at me. “Sure.” She smiled.

“Are you going to stay with me forever?” I asked again, this time holding her hands, looking straight into her lovely eyes.

She nodded with a smile.

“Will you love?”

Yerin’s smile faded. “What?”

“Will you love?” I asked again, stare becoming more intense.

Yerin moved away. “That…I can’t do. Love is not something you can get easily. You can have as many cars, as many houses you want, but so long as you don’t wait for love, you can’t have it.”

“But, Yerin,” I started, but her back is already facing me. She was running away from me. “YERIN!” I shouted.

“YERIN! Come back! I beg you!” I shouted my lungs out. But she never looked back. “YERIN!”

“Yerin…” I mumbled.

“Are you okay?” a voice woke me up.

I opened my eyes, and Leeteuk, Eunhyuk and Donghae are standing beside me.

“Hyung, are you alright?” Donghae asked, looking concerned. “You look…disturbed.”

“…dream…” I mumbled. I sat up at the bed and asked, “When did you come in?”

“Half an hour ago,” Leeteuk said, looking at food on the bedside table. “Yerin left you?”

Yerin…

“Yeah,” I admitted. I told Leeteuk to come closer. I whispered, “We sort of…had a misunderstanding.”

“Are you crazy?” he whispered back. “You…”

“We’ll I’ll sort it out,” I answered back.

Eunhyuk and Donghae are huddling in front of the TV, switching from a basketball game and a variety show with girl groups as guest. Leeteuk was busy checking the food that was left untouched on the bedside table. I wasn’t in the mood to eat, even if it was Yerin’s cooking.

Kim, Heechul you are absolutely the eternal idiot in the face of the earth! You confessed, but you blew it!

“Hyung, is Yerin-noona coming later?” Donghae asked, switching his focus from the TV to me.

“I don’t know,” I answered.

Honestly, I don’t know if she’s coming back. Come to think of it, I wanted to comfort her, but I pushed her away.

Shin Yerin, calm down. I know Heechul only wanted me to know his feelings. But his feeling for me is overflowing which makes me harder to believe it. I perfectly told him that I am not ready to be in a relationship but, why is he forcing me to love him?

I was at home, sitting on the living room couch, staring at the TV with nothing to watch. I was processing everything that Heechul told me. He like me, he love me, he wants to care for me, he said I am his everything, and he’s willing to be with me…forever. How on earth can I, rejected at love and completely disregards being in a relationship, react to his confession?

What should I do?

My phone rang. I reached for it on the couch beside me, and saw that caller ID that says “Leader”.

“Leeteuk-sshi,” I answered.

“Yerin-sshi, are you coming back here at the hospital?” he asked.

“Of course, I’m just…well… I’m just sorting things out,” I hesitantly said. “Wait, you’re with Heechul?”

“Yes, as well as the Eunhae Couple,” he answered. Eunhae? AH! Eunhyuk and Donghae. I giggled a bit.

“What?” he asked, giggling as well.

 “The Eunhae bit was funny,” I answered.

“Oh,” he laughed. “Well, anyway, the three of us is going home soon, but manager-hyung come over to look after Heechul.”

“That’s great,” I said. “But I’ll come back later tonight,” I answered.

“Yerin-sshi,” he said, his voice serious. “Heechul told me about a misunderstanding. Can you…explain?”

What? I can’t openly explain that! How can I explain that sarcastic Cinderella loves me to death that he’s willing to wait for me even the world ends? Do the math…

“I can’t… not now, I guess.”

“Even just a hint? Yerin-sshi, please sort this misunderstanding…or whatever it is. Heechul, he’s sort of…”

“Overly obsessing with things he can’t control himself?” I asked out of nowhere.

“Yes, that…and more.”

“I will,” I assured. “But for now, look after that sarcastic Cinderella for me, okay?”

“Sure,” he answered. “Bye then.”

He cut the call.

Again, I was staring at the TV with utter hesitation if I am coming back at the hospital. Well, I did promise Leader I’ll come back. Maybe he will tell Heechul that I will.

“She’ll be her later tonight,” Leeteuk said, after calling Yerin outside the room.

Why does he have to go out anyway? Well, I can’t blame him; the crazy monkey and the rotten fish are still on it of a game called “I’ll-kill-you-if-you-don’t-change-the-chanel!” Wow! Such delight…

Leeteuk came closer and sat on the bed, looking at the TV. Then, he asked…

“I wonder what you told Yerin,” he said in whisper.

“You asked her?” I asked, getting frustrated. “Why did you do that for?”

“Calm down, will you? I just want to help.”

“Well, I don’t need it, so you better keep it.”

So that’s the real reason why you came out of the room; not because the two kids are bickering at each other, but because you want to know what Yerin and I talked about. Great Leeteuk, just great; you just want something to gossip about!

I looked at the TV as well, which is now stuck on a game show. Eunhyuk and Donghae finally have shut their mouths, and Leeteuk and I was left mind-at-ease. Well, maybe my mind is not that at ease at all. I’m still thinking of Yerin.

Yerin…

I hope you understand… I’m just in love. Love makes you crazy…

___________________________________________________

I was out for a while because the internet connection in our house is crazy slow.

Here's an update guys, I hope you like it.

~Crina