I starred, completely blank, at unconscious Heechul. At the foot of his bed, I stayed silent, observing Heechul’s chest going up and down due to his slow breathing. I looked at his hand, a needle pricked to his skin, putting in medicine in his body forcefully. Without knowing it, I followed the pace of his breathing, slow and steady. In his every breath, I don’t know if I feel fine or not.

I was a complete mess; uncombed hair and tear-filled face is really not a sight to see. I clasped my hand near my lips and felt the warm air I breathe out. I was biting my lips in frustration; frustrated to see Heechul wake up.

I can’t stand here anymore; I want to be next to him.

I walked to the side of his bed and starred at his face. Red scratches are fresh in his white, previously flawless skin. The bandage on his forehead made me feel worse, apart from the smell of the hospital room that made me feel nauseous. I have to admit; I hate hospitals. I feel like I’m dying if I’m here. But for Heechul, I think I have to stay.

It’s been years since I went to the hospital. It was for a heart check-up. I don’t have the best heart. Whenever I’m completely scared, surprised or tired, my heart will go berseck. It was not the best feeling at all. Thank God I don’t feel like that today; with Heechul getting on an accident, I could have fell on the living room carpet and just left there suffocating. Maybe because of this, I have a difficult time accepting anyone’s feelings for me.

“Noona?” a voice said. I looked towards the door to see Sungmin peeking.

I wiped the tears on my face and whispered, “Sungmin-ah…”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said, trying to smile.

Sungmin came in, telling Eunhyuk that he’ll be in for a bit, and closed the door.

“How’s he?” he asked.

“The doctor said he bumped his head hard. And still unconscious…” I said, pointing at Heechul.

I sniffed.

Sungmin observe my face. “We’re you crying?” he asked.

Then, I broke into tears again. I don’t know why but tears kept on flowing out. I’m tired of crying, but my eyes tell the opposite. No…probably my heart.

“Noona…” Sungmin said before pulling me into a hug. “It’s okay. We’re afraid too. Good thing this is just minor. Last time, we almost lost him.”

LOST…HIM…

Two words that my heart and mind can’t process at the moment. At that moment, all that I can think of is “KIM HEECHUL, YOU IDIOT, WAKE UP!” Wake up for goodness sake and take off this burden I feel. Come to think of it, there are 12 boys waiting for you to wake up. Thousands of fans are outside this building, waiting for you to wake up.

“And…I’m sorry I was ‘mad’ a while ago at the car. I’m just worried,” Sungmin said.

“It’s okay, I’m worried too.”

I hugged Sungmin as well and continued to cry silently.

“Sungmin…” came a whisper.

Both of us looked at the door, where the whisper came from.

“Get out,” Leeteuk demanded.

Sungmin let go of his hug and gave me a warm smile.

Leeteuk came in and Sungmin came out of the room, closing the door.

“How are you feeling?” Leeteuk said, looking at my face. He noticed the tears on my cheeks and wiped it with his hand. His hand felt cold but I didn’t flinch.

“Still worried,” was my only reply.

“Don’t be. I know Heechul; all that he might show us is sarcasm, coldness, and a whole load of ‘praise me, I’m gorgeous’, but he’s strong as well. He can play with death and come back alive.” Leeteuk smiled.

“Don’t say death…” I whispered.

“I’m just…sorry. I just…” he paused and cleared his throat, “got carried away with the analogy.”

I smiled, this time, it’s genuine. I look at Leeteuk and said, “Carried away, huh?”

“Yeah…” he smiled as well. “Don’t you worry; any minute now he’ll surely wake up.”

“Of course he will.” I should think positive.

For about a while, Leeteuk and I stood quietly, observing Heechul. Then, something came to my mind…

“Mind me asking, but…what did your manager said? Is he mad…about me?” I asked.

Leeteuk smiled.

“No, not at all.”

I was confused. “But you two were arguing…”

“Oh, he’s mad…at him,” Leeteuk pointed at Heechul. “Manager is mad because Heechul didn’t tell him about you. Now, manager finally figured out why Heechul is always out of the dorm and going home early even though it’s Saturday night.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. I think our manager have a crush on you…” he snickered.

“What? That’s crazy,” I said, smiling.

“I’m just kidding,” he laughed, still keeping the noise down. “But he’s not mad about you and Heechul. Just at Heechul. In fact, manager wants to tell your relationship to the management.”

“Oh…no…” I declined.

“Why not?” he asked frowning.

“The hundred days…remember?” I informed him. “That’s not good. That will just create problems for both of us. He’ll be burdened, and I’ll be burdened. Both of us will be.”

Leeteuk stayed silent.

“I can’t deal with that. This…relationship…is fake.”

“But…”

“No. We’re staying for a hundred days and that’s it, just goodbyes.”

“What if I don’t want to say goodbye?”

Both I and Leeteuk were startled. Heechul is now awake and probably was listening to our conversation.

“There is no way I’m letting go of you, Shin Yerin.”

I think every cell in my body is rejoicing! Heechul finally woke up. I was smiling from ear to ear. Leeteuk is smiling as well.

“YAH! What took you so long to wake up!” Leeteuk nagged at Heechul. “Yerin was worried because of you.”

I thought my heart was going to falter, but it didn’t. Instead, it grew stronger. Seeing Heechul awake and hearing his now raspy voice is happiness. Tears finally flow out of my eyes again; tears of joy, that is.

“I have to tell the guys,” Leeteuk said and made his way out of the room.

“You’re okay, right?” I asked, wiping the tears in my eyes.

“Apart from a head-splitting headache, the rest of me is fine,” he said with a slight smile.

I came closer. Without meaning to, I held his hand. I look at Heechul’s face; he looked startled.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” I managed to say. “I was worried you know.”

“You were?” he asked.

“Come on, I even got mad at you for having a slight fever. What less is a car accident?” I said with a smile. “Be careful next time, or else…

“Or else what?” Heechul asked.

“I’ll not permit you to court me.”

Heechul’s eyes widened.

“What?” I asked.

“I can? Court you, I mean.”

“Aren’t you?” I smiled. “Honestly, Kim Heechul, you were buying me flowers before you confessed.”

Heechul sighed. “That was one time.”

“Two…”

“What?” he asked confused. “I bought you flowers once, and a cake.”

“Twice. Remember the flowers Leeteuk gave me?” I smiled.

Note to self: KILL PARK JUNSU LATER!

“Okay, I did. But it was beautiful, right?”

“Of course it was.”

The door opened and my mother just came in. I don’t know if she’s happy or mad.

“KIM HEECHUL!” she almost shouted.

Definitely mad.

“Are you crazy? Another accident?” she said, her face crumpling in anger.

“I’m sorry, okay?” I defended myself.

Mom came closer and starred at my face. “Look at that. You’re a mess.”

“I think I have to leave you two alone for a while,” Yerin said, making his way out of the room.

“Yerin, don’t leave. I’ll die here,” I told her.

“What?” mom asked in frustration. “You are crazy.”

Yerin smiled, melting my every square inch. She closed the door, and my mother and I started a battle.

When I closed the door of Heechul’s room, I was surprised to see every single Super Junior member outside the room. Leeteuk was having a conversation with Kangin and Hankyung; the three of them smiling. The rest of them are just standing and waiting at the corridor.

“Noona,” Ryeowook approached. “How’s Heechul-hyung?” he asked.

“Probably being nagged by his mom,” I told him and he smiled. “He’s okay, apart from a headache.”

“What about internal hemorrhage? He bumped his head right?” Kyuhyun asked. Wow! This kid is crazy smart.

“Ummm…we’ll I guess we should ask the doctor about that,” I replied.

“Yerin-noona, sit down,” Donghae said, offering the seat next to him. Seating next to him on the couch was Eunhyuk.

I took the offer and sat next to them. I slammed my back on the back rest and closed my eyes.

“You okay?” Donghae asked.

“Just relieved.” I sighed. I was calmer and happier, knowing that Heechul was getting fine.

I was so worried…but why? Was I afraid he’ll be hurt? Was I afraid that he will not wake up? Was I afraid of…losing him?

I opened my eyes and starred at the pavement. I am worried because…of what? Do I…like him? Do I…love him? Am I…having feelings towards him?

“Shin Yerin-sshi?” a voice said. It was Super Junior’s manager.

“Yes?” I asked.

“May I talk to you for a while?” he said.

“Sure.”

The manager and I went to the hospital’s cafeteria. It was almost empty, apart from us and some patients. We sat at the far corner of the cafeteria. He offered some hot coffee and said…

“Let me get this straight, okay, but you and Heechul are staying together?” he said in whispers.

I nodded.

“For a hundred days?”

I look at him, straight in the eyes. “How did you know about that?”

“Leeteuk told me just now.”

Leeteuk…seriously? But, I just nodded.

“Why?” he asked.

“Well, at the start of this…arrangement…”

“You mean engagement,” he corrected.

I forced a smile, and he have a slight smile on his face as well. “Okay…engagement. We both disagree to it. But we don’t want to disappoint both our parents, so we ended up staying together.”

He was silent.

“You’re not going to tell this to anybody, are you?” I said.

He smiled. “Don’t worry; you’re secrets safe with me. But, the management…”

“Oh no, wait oppa,” I stopped. “It’s okay to call you oppa, right?” I asked. When he smiled and nodded, I continued. Wait, I have to say that Super Junior’s manager is good looking as well. “I was thinking of hiding this first to the management.”

“First? You mean your relationship is…”

“On the rocks.”

“Oh…I thought it was progressing.” He smiled again, and rested his back on the back rest of his seat.

“Look, both of us are uncertain,” I explained.

The manager looked unconvinced. “Leeteuk told me Heechul likes you.”

I was wide-eyed looking at him. “Leeteuk’s lips are really loose, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. Well, okay, Heechul likes you. I know that kid. I’ve never seen him with other girls before. I guess he never fell for anybody since his career is soaring high. This is the first time.” He was smiling by himself.

“Really? What about Sohee?” I randomly asked.

“Wonder Girls?” he asked, and then smiled. “He’s just crazed about her. He might exaggerate it on TV shows, but that’s it. If you don’t believe me, ask Leeteuk, he knows Heechul well enough to prove it.”

I bowed my head.

“So, Yerin-sshi. Can I tell the management?”

“Can you give us time first?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded.

“You’re not supposed to come in!” I almost shouted.

All 12 of my members are now in my room. As always, they are noisy! They are all standing around my bed and looking at me. Kangin, Leeteuk, Siwon and Hankyung are standing on the right side of my bed. Yesung, Shindong, Ryeowook, and Donghae are on the left side of the bed. Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Kibum are on the foot of the bed. This is a disaster.

“I’m not dying okay!” I demanded. “Stop staring! GET OUT!”

“Make us…” Kangin smirked.

“If only I have the strength, I’ll kick your !” I said, getting annoyed.

I look around the faces that surrounded me, and lack the face that I wanted to see.

“Where’s Yerin?” I asked.

Some of the idiots in front of me snickered.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, getting annoyed still.

“She’s talking to manger-hyung,” Leeteuk informed, looking at the door. “She’ll be here later.”

“What are they talking about?” I was nervous. Why is he talking to her?

“Relax, will you? They’re just talking about the engagement.”

“How can I relax if they’re talking about THAT! Stop him,” I insisted. “What if…”

“He’ll ask Yerin to leave you?” Kangin finished my sentence. “Hyung, relax okay.”

“You guys are getting into my nerves. GET OUT!”

But they only smiled and stood there like idiots. Seriously, I can’t let manager-hyung speak to Yerin. I’ll be doomed. I might not see Yerin anymore.

“Oh my God, this is not right.”

A girl’s voice broke the smiles on the member’s faces. Everyone is now staring at the door to see that Yerin and manager-hyung is standing there, both of them have frowning faces.

“Guys, one at a time. I did tell you, right?” she said, coming closer.

“We might have forgotten about that,” Eunhyuk said with an annoying smile on his face.

“Now get out, all of you!” manager-hyung demanded.

And one by one, the 12 idiots went out of the room, leaving me, Yerin and manager-hyung.

Manager-hyung smiled at me. “It’s good to see you’re okay. I’ll leave you guys for a bit.”

Manager-hyung went out as well without another word, but with a smile that I don’t know what it meant.

“Heechul,” Yerin said, waking my senses.  “I have to go now.”

“Oh, why?”

“I have an interview tomorrow.”

Interview?

“Kyeonghee?” I said, surprised. “That’s tomorrow?”

“Yes,” she said. “And if it wasn’t because of you, I should be at home sorting my things for tomorrow.” She smiled.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” I said, feeling down. I looked at her. Every time I look at her, I was feeling better by the minute.

“It’s okay. Just wish me luck and its fine,” she said.

“Good luck,” I said.

She pouted. “That’s it?”

“What more do you want me to say?” I asked, puzzled.

Then, she came closer and hugged me carefully. I had goose bumps; GOOD goose bumps. Honestly, if my hand doesn’t have a needle sticking to it, I’d hugged her tightly and never let go.

She whispered to my ear, “Get well…” and I totally melted.

She let go and stood next to me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Yerin walked to the door slowly.

“Wait,” I said, stopping her steps. “Manager-hyung didn’t tell you anything strange, did he?”

“No,” she replied. “But he told me to invite him for dinner sometimes.”

Does this mean…he approves? YES!

“He’s not telling the management, is he?” I asked again.

“Not at the moment,” she replied.

DARN!

Yerin started walking again.

“Wait,” I said, stopping her steps.

“What now?”

“Who’s taking you home?” I asked.

“Leeteuk, I guess,” she said with a mischievous smile on her face.

“WHAT!” I almost shouted. “Taxi’s better!”

__________________________________________________________________________

Okay, honestly, I didnt know what to write, so THIS came out. HAHAHA! I was completely out of ideas, so I sort of 'narrated' the whole thing.

Since this is a bit long, I got lazy again and skipped proof reading. Sorry for the typos and some confusing scenes. HAHAHA!

~Crina