I know, I’m getting fond of Heechul, but loving him back is another thing. He might be caring at times, but that doesn’t mean I have to give him love as a replacement. I know he’s difficult at times, but with some of luck, he occasionally gets to be easy to deal with.

I think everything’s going to change around the house. I just knew it. You know, now that Heechul already confessed his feelings to me, it will get awkward talking to him.

Heechul…

Now, saying his name is awkward as well. How should I face him without worries?

“Yerin-sshi,” Heechul called from the kitchen.

I was sorting out some papers in my room when he called.

“I’ll be home late again, alright?” he said.

“You’re always home late,” I whispered to myself. I went out of my room to see that he’s still eating breakfast. He’s continuously shoving in fried rice when I saw him.

“You know what? You really have a talent in cooking. Why not stop teaching and start a restaurant?” he said.

I walked towards him and stopped in front of him. “You know what? I told you already that teaching is my calling. Restaurants can wait. But until then, I’ll have to pursue my teaching, especially now that I have an interview with Kyeonghee.”

“What if you don’t pass the interview?” he said.

He is so negative! “Can you please stop being a pessimist even for one second?” I said, getting a bit upset. “Look, can’t you just cheer me on and hope for the best? That would be great…”

“I’m just saying…” he said, then continued eating again.

But he’s right. What if I don’t pass the interview? What if I fail? Then, there is no more chance of teaching in Kyeonghee.

“Why are you glaring at the banana?” Heechul asked.

Well, I certainly was staring on the banana on the table. “Ummm…nothing,” I said.

“Do you have a problem?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I lied. “Are you done eating?” I asked.

“Not yet,” he said, continuing his meal.

I sat on the chair opposite Heechul and stared at him. He continued to eat the fried rice in front of him and ate it deliciously. I was happy with his reaction, like on his every bite, a warm feeling was crawling under my skin. I was happy seeing him. I smiled.

He looked at me. “I know… I look gorgeous.” He smirked.

“That’s not it.” I smiled back.

“What? Why are you staring at me?” he asked.

“Just continue eating or you’ll be late,” I said, standing up and going back to my room.

“Shoot, that’s the time?” he said, looking at his watch. “I better get going. YERIN!” he shouted.

“WHAT!” I shouted back. I hurried back to the dining area. He was already standing, straightening the black jacket he wore.

“I’m going,” he said, walking towards me.

“Then go or you’ll be late for your schedule,” I said, getting a bit annoyed.

“I just need a little favor,” he said, stopping in front of me.

I was startled how he’s so close to me. Not that it’s the first time because the other night, he already hugged me. “What?” I asked.

“Can I hug you?”

HUG? IS HE SERIOUS?

“What?” I asked, shocked. “Hug?”

“Yes. “Can I…” his voice trailed away.

I stared at him with my mouth slightly open, not believing what I just heard.

“Yerin,” he said, “are you okay?”

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Yup. So, are you hugging me or not?”

I continued to stare. He opened his arms and said, “Time is running out, you know. Come on please, just one hug.”

I finally gave in. I came closer and gave him a hug…and felt like as if I don’t want to let go. It was like I was being pulled by the strong gravity coming from him. And he hugged me quite long and tight. I couldn’t say I didn’t like it; I was quite enjoying it actually.

“Heechul,” I said.

“What?”

“You’re late.”

“SHOOT!” he shouted. “I need to go.” He pulled away from our hug and headed for the door. “I’ll see you later,” he said with a smile.

“Yup.”

“What are you smiling at?” Sunhwa asked.

We were at the cafeteria, eating our lunch when Sunhwa disturbed my thoughts.

“What were you thinking?” she asked again, intrigued.

“Nothing,” I lied.

I was thinking of Heechul’s random request. Though Heechul and I are not awkward speaking wise, Heechul’s getting a bit “physical” after his confession. This time it’s a hug, then later it’ll be a kiss, then…

I sighed. No Shin Yerin, don’t go “there”.

“Seriously, what are you thinking of?” Sunhwa asked again.

“Sheesh, you’re so annoying!” I said in impulse.

“Oh, so I’m annoying? Then, you are crazy,” Sunhwa said. “You’re smiling at your plate, you sigh after every bite, you’re lying of not thinking of anything but there’s definitely something.” She’s getting annoyed, apparently.

I told her to come closer, and she did. I whispered to her ear, “I hugged Heechul,” with a grin on my face.

“WHAT!” Sunhwa almost shouted, giving me a death glare. “You what?”

“Hugged…”

“Oh my God! Skinship…” she said, now probably fantasizing about her hugging Siwon. “When?” she asked totally intrigued.

“This morning,” I said. Playing with Sunhwa and her illusion is indeed fun.

“Whoa! That’s big news, Yerin.” Her eyes are bulging. “Why did you hug him anyway?”

“He asked me too.”

“Oh my gosh, Yerin, be careful now, okay?” She is insane. One minute, she’s death-glaring me, then having illusions, then getting totally engrossed on my story, now she’s being…THIS!

“What are you talking about?” I asked, not getting the point.

“Today, it’s hug. What’s for tomorrow then? I’m afraid he has VERY BAD intentions, Yerin.”

“You are insane,” I said, emphasizing each word.

“No, but…”

“You know what, stop. Just stop. Don’t go ‘there’. Look, if he’s thinking what you’re thinking, there are loads of knives in the kitchen. I might as well use it for something other than cooking,” I snapped at her.

She looked at her lunch again. “Sorry…”

I continued to eat, forgetting I told Sunhwa about what happened this morning and the fact that she warned me about Heechul.

“Oh, by the way, tomorrows the big day,” she said in a sort of a celebratory voice. “How are you preparing?”

Sunhwa’s talking about the interview. I’m so scared!

“It’s an interview, Sunhwa, not a quiz.”

“It’s almost the same. They ask questions and…”

“About your life? Honestly, Sunhwa, I can recall my life pretty well.” I was getting to the pissed-off line even closer.

“Fine. You’re really good in English anyway, so what’s the point in getting nervous,” she said.

“Whoa, as a matter of fact, I’m scared. But, its Kyeonghee…you’re supposed to be scared,” I said.

Finally, the schedule is done at 11 pm. I’m totally tired and sleepy. I want to go home and see how Yerin is doing. I miss her already. I want to see her.

We just finished our performance in a television show. All of us (Super Junior) have changed our clothes from our performance clothes to casual clothes. Honestly, the tuxedos are a pain in the . Although I look hot in it, it feels hot wearing it! Not to mention I can’t breathe with a tie tied around my neck. When I was in front of my car (I drove myself to the broadcasting station, mind you), Shindong made me stop on my step.

“Hyung!” Shindong called, standing just beside my car. “You’re not driving yourself home, are you?”

Well, I probably don’t, right? I’m sleepy, but…

“You guys go ahead. I still have to buy something,” I insisted.

“But you look drowsy,” Leeteuk said, a concerned look on his face. “Why don’t I drive you home instead?”

“You, driving me home?” I said, almost disgusted. “No thanks, I don’t want DENTS in my car.”

Leeteuk smirked annoyingly. “If that’s your decision, then go. Just be careful, okay?”

I smiled and got inside my car. I put my seatbelt as I look at Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Shindong, Leeteuk and Kangin got inside the white van. I drove smoothly out of the parking space, and out of the parking area. I honked before finally leaving the place.

I thought, “I need to buy a cake first before coming home.” I drove quite sleepily on the road to the nearest bakery. The highway was jam packed with vehicles. The spaces between each car are not that much, so probably all of us are driving slowly. Then, I turned right to find the bakery I wanted to go to. The road was secluded of vehicles, so I decided to step on the gas. Then, a car drove in front of me, hitting the side of the car…

I sat on the couch watching TV, waiting for Heechul’s arrival, but all that is in my head is the interview tomorrow. I can’t think straight. I’m not pessimistic, but all that I can think of is negative. I want to take my mind off away from that…

I was watching the news, but my mind is not clear enough to process what the reporter was saying.

“…king news. Singer and actor Kim Heechul got into an accident this evening…”

That is all I need to hear to snap out of my negative thoughts. But my thoughts are much dimmer than before.

I quickly took my phone that was sitting on top of the coffee table and dialed Leeteuk’s number.

“Yerin-sshi,” Leeteuk answered.

“What happened to Heechul?” I asked.

“He’s in the hospital. We are on our way…” he said.

Heechul… what did you do?

__________________________________________________________________

Poor Heenim...

~Crina