Arriving at YooChun’s apartment with the night’s dinner in his hands, JaeJoong rapped his knuckles against the door and then rocked on the balls of his feet. A few seconds later the door opened but instead of seeing a smiling happy face to greet him, he saw YooChun with the phone to his ear. “Alright….dinner is here. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” YooChun said, ushering him into the apartment.

Biting his lower lip some, JaeJoong entered the apartment and shut the door behind him. Slipping his shoes off, JaeJoong shifted the bag of take out from one hand to the other and then went deeper into the apartment where YooChun’s back was to him. Was he still on the phone. “Chunny?” JaeJoong asked, watching YooChun turn to him and put a finger up and then nodded some with an ‘mmhm’ to whoever he was on the phone with.

Going into the living room, JaeJoong set the food on the coffee table and started to pull their food out and display it for Yoochun. “Mmhm. No Su I promise I’ll call you later. JunSu my food is going to get cold. Okay. Bye.” YooChun then chuckled some as he hung up the phone and then slapped his hands together. “Mmmmm it smells good JaeJoong-ah!” Yoochun said with a smile and then went to sit on the couch next to him and grabbed his chop sticks.

“What was that about?” JaeJoong asked, not very happy that his boyfriend was talking to Junsu so easily. “What was what?” YooChun asked, breaking the chopsticks apart and rubbing them together to get rid of any splinters. “That! Since when did you start talking to him again?” Jaeoong asked, not even touching his food now. “Um…a couple days ago.” YooChun said, his smile fading as he looked away and started to prepare his meal. Not wanting to ruin the mood for the whole night, JaeJoong cleared his throat some and dropped the subject for while they ate.

There was some light chatter between the two about their days while they ate. JaeJoong knew he’d upset YooChun earlier by asking that, but he was also upset to see his boyfriend was talking to Junsu again even after everything. Did YooChun not realize that Junsu was trying to wiggle back into his life and steal him away again? Did he not realize that Junsu was seriously no good for him? Why did YooChun keep going back to him regardless of knowing that their relationship was unhealthy?

After their meal was done, the two cleaned up their containers and JaeJoong couldn’t hold back his words any more. He told YooChun before that he wasn’t going to be second best. He wasn’t going to just sit around and watch him love someone else. Could he really walk away though? He loved Yoochun way too much.

“YooChun-ah?” JaeJoong said after tossing some food into the trash and turned to YooChun who was washing the cups they drank out of. “hmm?” Yoochun asked not even looking away from the cup right away. “I…” JaeJoong started before stopping. Yoochun finally turned to look at him while rinsing his hands free of soap. “What?” YooChun asked and then dried his hands on a towel.

“I love you Yoochun” JaeJoong said. It wasn’t the first time he said those words, but the way he said it caused YooChun to flash an uncomfortable smile. “I love you too Jae. What’s wrong?” Of course Yoochun had to know what was wrong. “I…” JaeJoong said, his eyes casting away from YooChun at that. “ ‘I’ What Jaejoong?” Yoochun asked and then moved to take JaeJoong’s hands in his.

“I just…ugh. Why did I fall in love with you?” JaeJoong asked, avoiding Yoochun’s gaze. “Wh-what?” YooChun asked, moving his hand to JaeJoong’s chin and raised it so they could look at eachother properly without beating around the bush. Sighing, JaeJoong looked at Yoochun, his hands still holding onto his. “I love you YooChun. I have for a while. But I feel like you’ve gone in a totally different path. I guess I just didn’t act soon enough and before I realized it you were already his forever…” JaeJoong said, watching YooChun’s eyes change from confused to almost sad. “JaeJoong I-” YooChun started, only for JaeJoong to cut him off.

“I thought that I could just tell you to choose me and to love me and only me, but I’ve realized that I lost my chance long ago. I should have held your hand back then, you should have been mine all along. I would have been much better for you YooChun” JaeJoong said, letting his hands fall to his side and looking towards YooChun lost. “Jaejoong.” YooChun said sadly as he looked towards his lover. “I love you JaeJoong. But I love him too…I can't not love him.” JaeJoong knew this, knew that in the end he wouldn’t have been able to choose one way or the other.

Sighing, JaeJoong turned away from Yoochun to head out. He wanted to stay, wanted to fight, wanted to steal YooChun away and never let him return to Junsu. He knew that was impossible though. “JaeJoong. Don’t go!” YooChun said, quickly grabbing JaeJoong’s wrist and holding him in place. “We can’t continue like this YooChun.” JaeJoong said before turning back towards YooChun. YooChun was about to say something, however Jaejoong quickly leaned forward and clasped their lips together.

Kissing YooChun for perhaps the last time, JaeJoong held the other close and felt a tear slide down his own cheek. Not breaking the kiss, JaeJoong continued until they were both out of breath and then quickly let go while staying within inches from him. “I want you to be happy. No matter how much that would make me lonely, I want you to be happy.” JaeJoong said, moving to press his lips gently to YooChun’s and then quickly retreated from the room. YooChun didn’t stop him this time.