The rain was pouring down as he stood across the street from his apartment. Even though he was soaked to the bone by this point, JunSu had no intentions of leaving until YooChun came down. He’d called the older male from his cell phone in his car, asking him…no begging him…to come down. JunSu KNEW JaeJoong was up there with him. KNEW Yoochun was happier with JaeJoong. But Junsu was miserable. He thought he’d be able to move on and let Yoochun be happy, but feeling empty without his long term lover, Junsu brought himself here to beg for forgiveness, to say he loved YooChun and pray he return the feelings.

Junsu really brought this all upon himself though. They grew distant, Junsu became too worried about his work and as time went by he stopped trying. They’d broken up a couple times over the last several years of being together, however this time it was different. This time his best friend swooped in and stole Yoochun’s heart away. Junsu didn’t blame Yoochun for being weak and falling into JaeJoong’s arms though. No, he blamed himself.

When it all first happened, Junsu acted cold, acted as if nothing hurt and nothing was wrong. He couldn’t show his pain. He didn’t deserve to claim Yoochun and push JaeJoong away. He’d hurt Yoochun so much, he didn’t deserve to try and keep his heart. So instead of telling Yoochun he loved him, he agreed they should break up. And after time, instead of saying he missed him whenever he’d see YooChun, he told the other to just forget everything. He thought that if they put time between them, everything would erase and it would be okay.

But then why did his heart hurt so much? Why did he feel his tears prick at his eyes whenever he thought of Yoochun? It was because despite his distance, despite his heart hardening over the years…Junsu really loved YooChun. After realizing how much he really needed YooChun, Junsu came to tell him everything his heart felt. Instead of saying ‘take care’ and ending things, Junsu would say ‘I love you’. Instead of saying ‘be happy’, Junsu planned to say ‘I miss you’. All the things he couldn’t say over the last months, Junsu wanted to confess to Yoochun now.

Hopefully it would work. Hopefully then Yoochun would come back to him, forgetting JaeJoong and things could go back to how they should be. That’s all that YooChun wanted, right? For Junsu to tell him he loved him and open up to him? Junsu wanted to honestly try this time. Honestly give it his all. JunSu was even willing to give up his job or transfer somewhere else if it meant he could be more for Yoochun. Anything for him, anything to stop this pain between them, anything to stop the tears and the heart ache.

It had probably been an hour of mentally begging the other to come out when finally the door opened. Junsu had been running everything over and over in his head, however as soon as he saw the other coming out with an umbrella wearing a sweater the two had bought together, Junsu forgot everything he’d been planning to say and simply smiled wide. His heart beat hard against his chest as if it was trying to break out of his chest and go where to where it belonged, in YooChun’s hand.

Wanting to just run to YooChun and wrap his arms around the other and hold him tight, Junsu stayed where he was and waited for YooChun to come to him. No reason to scare him away with sudden forwardness, right? So continuing to smile, Junsu was going to reach out and take YooChun’s hand and pull him close, however when YooChun spoke, Junsu stopped, his smile faltering.

“What do you want, Junsu?” Yoochun asked, moving to raise the umbrella in his hand so they could both be under it. Junsu had long forgotten about the rain that was causing him to shiver deep inside his body. His stomach felt uneasy now though, seeing the flat expression on YooChun’s voice and hearing the dead affect in YooChun’s voice. It seemed that YooChun had come out simply to send him away, rather than to actually see him. God he felt sick.