Puttin’ my defences up
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack

Love?

For me, to love means you are taking a risk. There’s a 50 % possibility that hey, you’ll find the right guy, fall in love with each other, and you’ll live happily ever after. But there’s also a 50% possibility for you to meet the wrong guy, fall in love but instead of the fairy tale ending ‘and we live happily ever after’, you’ll get your heart broken in the process. So many girls fall in love with the wrong guy simply because the wrong guy usually says the right things. And boy, I really don’t want to be one of the girls who fall for the wrong guy.

Loving the wrong guy would mean destroying your own life. Loving the wrong guy is going to be a curse that will keep haunting you for a very long time. There’s no cure for the heartbreak, there’s no time machine to turn back time to save you from the misery and heck there’s no point of regretting when that moment comes. You’ll just get burnt until you’ll turn into ashes.

Love?

Love is a gamble. You take a chance, let your heart go, like a dice, you’ll never know the result until it stops rolling. Guess what, at the end of the day, your heart still has the chance to be broken by some stupid guys. Being heartbroken is like having broken ribs. On the outside everything seems fine, as we put on our poker face but every breath actually hurts like hell. Call me a coward for not wanting to take a risk to fall in love but seeing my friends had their hearts broken really took a toll on me.

My best friend, Im Yoona almost lost herself when that Lee Donghae played her heart like she was a piece of crap that meant nothing for him. I’ve seen Yoona cried herself to sleep every night and it pained me seeing her like that. Jessica’s situation wasn’t even better than Yoona’s. She had fallen into the trap set by one of the playboy kingkas in our college, the jerk Kim Jonghyun.  She too got herself played and well, it took a lot of efforts from me to get her back onto her feet, to get her face drawn with her ever gor'Jess' smile once again.

When I took the time to think back the pain that these two had endured, I was flabbergasted. Both Yoona and Jessica have everything that could entitled them to be the perfect girl that any guy could have ever want in his life. So, how could those two good for nothing es didn’t know how to cherish them. How could they even have the heart to hurt Jessica and Yoona? Yes, I do admit that Jessica can be icy breezy windy cold but when you get to know her, she’s actually a warm person. Being an ice princess was just something that other people sugar coated and spiced things up to taint her image. Yoona, with that cute pretty face of hers, she’s the kind of girl that made you go sleepless in the middle of the night. She could be a prankster sometimes but behind that pranking mode of hers, you’ll know that she’s actually a kind-hearted girl. So, let’s take a moment and think back what the hell is wrong with those two nut jobs till they didn’t even realize that they actually hit the jackpot when they scored Yoona and Jessica as their girlfriends? Frankly speaking, I think both of them must have their brain damaged somewhere.

*Flashback 1 – Yoona’s heartbreak*

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 blasted from the stereo, brightening the mood of the bright sunny morning. It was weekend and heck after the havoc chaotic weekdays at the college, I guessed I surely as hell needed a good weekend day out with my besties, the ice princess/ever gorgeous, Jessica Jung.

I was supposed to meet Jessica at the mall when I suddenly received a call from Im Yoona, my other best friend. I thought maybe she’d call to ask if she could join us because it had been a long time since we hang out together. Ever since she hooked up with Lee Donghae, she spent less of her time with me and Jessica. Both of us missed her like crazy but we didn’t blurt any word of it because we knew just from the look of her face that she's happy with her long term crush and now boyfriend Lee Donghae.

“Hello Yoong! What’s up girl?” Silence. No word spoken from the person on the line.

“Hello??Hello?? Yah, Im Choding, are you there?!” I said it a couple of times and maybe I raised my voice tone so that Yoona would hear me. Maybe the reception was not so good. That’s why Yoona didn’t hear my voice.

I was expecting to hear her voice answering me but what came through the phone call made my heart almost stopped.

“Taeng…” I heard her calling my name but I also heard her sobbing loudly.

“Yoong, are you okay? Why are you crying?”

“Taeng..,” She spoke my name again. I began to have this uneasy feeling inside my heart.

“Yoong, tell me what the hell is going on? And what’s with the tears?”

“Taeng, I want to die.”

“Say what?! Im Yoona, don’t talk rubbish please! This is not funny! AT ALL!” I emphasized the word ‘at all’ because she was scaring me to the core of my heart.

“I’m not talking rubbish. Taeng…Taeng…I really want to die now. It hurts. It hurts so bad Taeng.”

“Why? Yoong, what happened? And where on earth are you right now?”

“Taeng.. It’s Donghae.”

“Donghae? What about him?”

“He..he…he broke up with me. Taeng, why did he do that? Doesn’t he love me anymore? He promised me forever Taeng. But…now.. he… he left me.” Yoona cried more loudly after that.

And due to her cries, I felt my heart just lost its normal rhythm. Yoona was crying because of Donghae! What the mother*cker did that do to my Im Choding?! How dare he hurt her like this!

“Yoona, tell me where you are now! I’m coming to see you A.S.A.P!”

“I’m at the lake. Hurry up Taeng. I’m hurting so badly here. I.. I feel like I couldn’t think straight right now. I’m a total mess. My mind is blank Taeng.”

“Yah, Im Yoona! You better not do anything stupid. I’m warning you, Yoong. You better stay put and wait for me okay! I’m coming right now arasso!”

*

After I texted Jessica about Yoona’s condition, we both hurried up to go to the lake. I was sure as hell that in my heart, I was cursing Lee Donghae to the core. He dared do this to Yoona. I was thinking that he desperately needed a death penalty from me right now. Hopefully karma will bite him hard soon enough! I wish so hard that Lee Donghae will taste what hell actually like and better be he‘ll just perish into thin air so I don’t have to kill him with my own two bare hands.

Jessica and I finally reached the lake. We searched around for Yoona. In my heart, I was praying hard that Yoona didn’t do anything stupid. It was not worth it to suffer because of Lee Donghae.

“Yoona! Yoona! Where are you?” Jessica called out Yoona’s name.

“Sica