Chapter 9 is up!

How have all my readers, subscribers, upvoters, commentors and my friends have been? Are you all doing well? Hope everything is fine anyway ^_^

Here is an update.  

I hope this update won't disappoint you. 

Please give me some feedback alright.

See you soon on another chapter!! 

Take care and Bye~!! ^_^

Today I'm not feeling quite well, I feel like having a fever. I walk around the park near my apartment at Jamsil. The sun is almost set. The sun falling faraway will come here tomorrow indeed. But will I be here again tomorrow? Or would I be gone? I stop walking and turn my head down, staring at my two feet. I smile realizing God still granted me a day of living and breathing on this earth, the same earth with Jongin, breathing the same air with Jongin. I smile occasionally.

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder, I jump a little and turn around involuntary.

" Sehun ah ! " I say in shock. He smiles. 

" What are you doing here? " I ask him again as he breath in the air. 

" Just to check on you "

" Tchh, I'm fine.. " I say and look away. Sehun cup my both cheeks that cause me to gasp in the air. I am looking at him straight into his eyes. His thumb is carressing my cheeks.

" Stop wearing that dying expression.. " 

" It is certain.. That my feeling is still for him.. " 

Sehun part his both hands away and hold both of my hands.  I just turn my gaze down on the ground, unwanting to look at his expression.

" I know " I hear him saying. 

" Hyerin ! " I hear someone calling me. A voice that I long for everyday, someone that I hope will appear in front of my door everyday, eventhough I know I'm just someone for him to turn to when he is in trouble. I let go of Sehun hands and run to that person, engulfing his body with my fragile arms. I miss him so much. I take in his scent and clutch on his shirt tightly.

" Y-yah.. Hyerin, why are you like this? " He asks.

" She just had a slight fever, and trying to get your warmth since it is cold " Sehun says that cause me to shot my eyes open. How did he notice my fever?? I let go of Jongin and slowly turn my head to Sehun, he looks away.

" Ah.. really? Yah Hyerin, you can just request it, I would be gladly to hug you. Like you always hug me. " Jongin says and smile, he shows me his eyesmile again. I am left in my spot. My heart is now trembling. Jongin grabs my hand and he smiles again, he is grinning and his eyes is forming a sun, my heart is blooming again.

" Let's go. I'm hungry.. " He shooks my hand up and down. I giggle because of his childishness.

" Okay Jongin... I get it. I'll cook you something good alright? "

" Yes ! " He soars and jumps like a little kid who just succeeds in convincing his mom to buy him some toys. I hit his shoulder playfully.

" Sehun, you can join us, maybe? She is a really good cook! " 

" Sure.. "

We are taking our steps back to my apartment. Jongin talks a lot and I try to sound happy and cheerful for him while Sehun is just silence. I am afraid to glance over to look at his face. Soon, we are in my apartment. Jongin slump himself on the cuch while Sehun is following me to the kitchen. I open the fridge to take out some vegetables and chicken . Sehun grabs the stuffs from my hands and I look at him weirdly.

" I'll help you.. "

" S-sure... Erm.. "

He heads to the sink and removes the plastic from the chicken and veggies. I smile to myself.

" Hyerin.. Where should I put this? " He ask me still concentrating on washing the food. I grab the big bowl and hand it over to him. 

" I'll put this chicken here. I'll cut the veggies alright. " He says as he grabs a knife.

Then, I heard Jongin's squeaking sounds from the living room. I am panicking and rush over to see what is going on. I saw him struggling and hitting the air.

" Kim Jongin! Wake up! " I hold his shoulder and shook him. He groans and struggling, The sweats is formed all over his face. I grab his face and shook them.

" KIm Jongin! " I cal out for him. Sehun also comes and calming him down, trying to wake him up.

"This won't work " Sehun says as he slaps Jongin across the face. Jongin stop struggling and slowly opening his eyes. His eyes is half open as he stares at me. He is now crying. 

" What's wrong Jongin? Why are you like that? Did any monster in your dream? " I ask him in worry while scooping his head into my arm. He wraps his arms around my waist, placing his head on my tummy. Sobbing like a little kid. I rubs his head and combs his soft hair with my fingers, trying to calm him down.

" I had a dream.. You left me.. You say you can't stay by my side anymore.. " He says with a trembling voice. My heart seems like it's stopping for a seconds. The star of destiny, is it trying to play on our fate now? I hug Jongin tighter.

" it is just a dream Jongin.. " I say. He keeps on nuzzle on my tummy. I giggles because it is tickling.

" Hyerin! Jongin! The food is done. " Sehun calls up from the kitchen. I pat Jongin's shoulder. Wiping away all his tears and fears. I hold his waist and we walk to the kitchen. Sehun is sure a good cook. Jongin and I sit on the chair and I start to serve Jongin his food. 

" Eat well Jonginnie~ Sehun cooks this especially for us. " I giggle. Jongin nods and hold his spoon. Ready to eat his food. Sehun finally take a seat and I serves the food in the plate for him. He smiles to me as a sign of "thank You" . I start to serve myself and eat a mouthful. We are eating peacefully and comfortably. 

" Oh, Hyerin, Sehun, there is a dinner on tomorrow night at the H Hotel. " Jongin says to break out the silence. Sehun puts down his spoon and bring both of his fist to his chin, staring at Jongin. 

" What time? Are we invited? " Sehun asks.

" What do you meant by are you invited? Ayyy~~ Of course you both are welcome to join us. " Jongin says while laughin and shoving the food in his mouth, munching and chewing happily. 

" You are going to come right Hyerin? " Jongin asks. Giving me that puppy eyes again. 

" Of course I will.. "

Jongin grins. Sehun rose up his chair and take up his plate and glass, walking towards the sink. He starts to wash the dishes. Jongin also cleaning up the table and I just pack up the leftover into the container, placing them into the fridge. Jongin suddenly jump in front of me and smile. I laugh at his dorkiness and trying to ruffle his hair but he dodges it.

" My apple juice.. " He says. I sigh and smiles at him. What a cute little kid. I open the fridge and grabs a box of apple juice, pouring it into the glass. I hand it over to Jongin who is leaning on the table, playing his phone. He looks up and take the juice from me. He gulp down his juice while still texting someone, grinning like a crazy person. 

" Hyerin ah I gotta go now " He says.

" Oh.. Alright " 

He put his glass on the sink and smile to me before he disappear before the door. He forgot something.. He forgot to give me a hug like he used to do.. And.. It hurts me. I snap out of my thought when I felt a pat behind my back. I saw Sehun, who is now looking a me.

" I'll get home too. Take care " He says and turn his back. I watch his back as he slowly walking away. I hate this feeling. The feeling of being alone. I walk towards the verandah. The floor felt so cold as my feet steps on them. I look up onto the sky, the moon looks upset. I cringe. Even if I can't say it with my own words, even if I do lack a lot, I am the one person who keeps on loving Jongin, the one who keeps on looking at him. I hope he knows that. 

" Why don't you know? Can't you see me, my Jongin? When will you hug me? Until when did you plan not to know my heart? " The words comes out from my mouth. Full of breath, towards the upset moon. The moons shines back on me, as if it is the response to my questions. However, it left for us to interpret it. Can I still see my dreams? Can I still see them shining brightly or have they become dull because of the stars? The pain comes again. I hold on my tummy as I bend down in pain, holding on to the  post. 

" Ah.. " I whine softly, not wanting to bother anyone. I once believe without a doubt that I could reach all my dreams. That's the reason why I keep holding in my feelings all this while, but little that I know it would hurt this bad. I don't expect for this to happen. The Hyerin that was once full of hopes, is now fading away, buried restlesly far deep in my heart. Like a glass, the dreams keep on breaking. I wonder where do the fragments go when the wind blows? No one may know. 

" Some dreams may combine and a love may be formed.. " I slowly straighten up my body and sit on the verandah's door, leaning my head to the edge of the door. My eyelid is getting heavier, I'm feeling weak. I don't want to die so soon. I want to fulfill all my dreams first. 

" But some dreams just can't be intertwine.. " a final tears escape the corner of my eyes. 

I wake up next morning when a sun shines on my face. My lips felt dry. I slowly open my eyes and yawns. Walking lazily towards the bathroom. I do my take a bath and clean myself in the bathroom. After a while, I'm coming out of the bathroom, walking heavily towards my room. I sit on my bed, drying my wet hair with a smaller white towel. Then, I go to my closet, trying to pick the best dress to wear. After a few minutes of searching and choosing, I decide to wear a black dress. It would look neat and elegant, I suppose. Done with all the preparation, I go down my apartment by the elevator and wait for the car to fetch me, there is a specific vehicles that are provided to avoid some paparazzi and stalkers from butting in the events.

When i reach there, I happen to meet Sehun at the corridor. He greets me with a smile. Offering his arms as I accept them gladly. We walk in arm to arm into the main hall. Lot of people are already gathering. Sehun and I look for our seat. Jongin arrives and take a seat beside Sehun.

" Oh you come . " Jongin says to Sehun and pat his shouder a few times. After shaking hands, the both of them go back to their seat. The host of the dinner is talking and making a jokes on the stage. All of us are lauhging along. Then, Soo Jung arrives and greets us. However, her expression changes when he turns to look at me. I just give her a smile. She sits down and talking to Jongin. I decided to leave earlier so I excuse myself.

" Hyerin a minute? Are you leaving?" Jongin asks.

" Yeah I am- "

" We are leaving. Have a nice dinner " Sehun cut me off as he hold my hand. Jongin just laugh awkwardly.

" We shall leave too Soo Jungie. " She looks unwillingly but she still smiles, the smile looks fake anyway. The for of us walk together to the parking lot. Soo Jung pick the car in the first column first before me. I just stand stiff and let out a gasp. Jongin suddenly scoop her waist and they are cuddling beside the car. Joking playfully. My chest felt a slight pang. it comes again. 

" Even if it's painful, continue living.. " Sehun whispers. I didn't give any response. Finally, the both of them get into the car. 

" Why did she get in that car? No this can't be ! " I hear someone chatting not far from us. I turn just to find two guys. I feel suspicious and I have a bad feeling. I approach them and the look at me confused.

" Which girl do you meant get in the car? and what's wrong? "

" It's non of your business ! " The taller guy push me away. I almost fall if not because of Sehun's grabbing my arm. Sehun inches forward the guys and grabs one of them by his collar. Pulling them closer to him,

" What do you meant just now? " Sehun ask them coldly and seriously. The guy looks frightened.

" The.. the Miss just now. She ordered us to damage the car in column one. But. But But she seems to be taking the wrong car.. I- " 

As son as I hear his explanation, a though just come up my mind, Jongin is in the car, I can't let him hurt! I turn my back and run away, hoping to chase over Jongin. I could have take the car provided, but maybe panic will make me do a stupid decision. Or maybe it is just love which makes me choosing a foolish choices by chasing him by running, with two legs. 

" Jongin.. No.. You can't " I utter out as I kept on running. My heart felt so heavy, I'm sobbing as I run. 

" Hyerin STOP! " Sehun is calling me from behind. 

However, in my mind now is just Jongin. He is the only that I could think of right now. The day where the love starts, I couldn't let it go. Even if I may risk my soul, I would rather risk them for Jongin. I take the shorcut route by the hills. I don't know from where did i got the strength, I climb up the hill and run through the woods, my legs is scratch and bruised by the branches of tree trunks. However, those pain cost me nothing compared to the pain my heart is suffering. 

I found the car Jongin's been driving from a far.

" Jongin! " I scream my heart all out. But he just disappear. Far and far away. I didn't notice there is a steep cliff over the hill, I step on the wrong feet and I fall over the cliff. I injured my thigh. 

" Arghh " I groan in pain. The blood keep seeping out. 

" Hyerin ! " Sehun comes and jumps off the hill. He is sweating. I'm sorry for troubling him. He tear apart his tees and ties the tore part to my thigh, preventing the blood  from flowing out. 

" Can you get on my back? " He ask me. I try to stand up but I fail. I end up on the ground again. He sighs and lift me up bridal style.

" We can't waste anymore times. You need to have medical treatment right away." He says. I could see his panic expression.

" Sehun.. But jongin- "

" Quit thinking about him rfor now Hyerin! Think about yourself ! Did your live meants nothing? " His voice is rather high. I choose to keep quiet. I felt dizzy. Sehun carries me all the way to the hotel back to get the car and he drives to the hospital. I could see his hands trembling. 

" Why are you like that Sehun ? " I say slowly in my heart. 

Sehun stops the car after a quite sometimes. He lift me up and soon, I found myself on the bed, being push to somewhere I don't know what is it call. I could see a few patients also on the bed and being treated by doctors and nurses. Sehun is with me all the times, holding my hand. I look at him. 

" Thank you. Sehun " I mouth to him.

Then, I hear a familiar voice beside me, both of us turn to look over. It is Soo Jung. She is lying on the bed, with blood drenched his dress. And I saw Jongin, he got bruises on his cheeks. 

" Soo Jung " Sehun says out of sudden that cause Jongin to look over to us. Jongin eyes widen as he approach me. 

" Hyerin, What happen to you? " He asks me, touching my cheeks. 

" Argh !! " I scream as the doctor peels of my dress from my injured thigh. There is a deep cut on my thigh. The doctor take the scalpel and prick open my flesh, I scream harder. It hurts. My tears fall.

" Shh Hyerin it will be fine.. " Sehun says as he kissed my hand. Jongin looks at me worried. 

" Hyerin ah.. " Jongin says as his eyes started to form a tears. In my pain, I try to reach my left hand to his eyes.

" Don't cry Jongin ah.. I'm fine.. It just- Argh! " The doctor succeeds in removing some of the branches of trees that stuck in my thigh. Soo Jung is being carried away. I hold Jongin's hand tightly, not wanting him to go, just for this time, only this time. 

" Don't go Jongin ah.. " I says weakly. 

" Just stay for this time Jongin.. " Sehun finally says.

Jongin looks at both of use, unable to make a choice. 

" I ned to go Hyerin. I'll have to be by Soo Jung. I'll come to see you again later, alright? " Jonin says as he slowly let go of my hands. I started to cry and sobs harder as he leave me. Sehun keeps on rubbing my shoulder to calm me down. I close my eyes as the tears keeps flowing. Why did he leaves? 

The cupid is shotting the arrow towards me, straight to my heart, penetrates them, make them bleed again. Maybe this is my destiny. Another destiny which has just been unveil. My world has become only him, but now it's gone. 

" Please.. Love me Jongin " I says out faintly, my vision is blurred by my tears. I blink my eyes and the tears rolling down. Sehun looks startle by what I say. 

" This love has no rehearsal.. It don't even let me rewind.. " I say, more sounds like regretting everything, regretting myself for refraining myself from confessing. My life has all been represented on the stage, as I say, my life's final curtain is going to come down soon , so soon. The tears run down heavily. Whether this is a dream or not, I don't know.

"I don't want to be seperated from him, please God..  Let me live longer... Give me another turn.. " I sobs. Sehun wipes away my tears. I push his hand away gently. He looks at me, I hate that look. I don't need pity from people. 

" Leave me Sehun.. " 

However he is still in his same spot, wiping away the tears on my face. It's no benefit, the tears keeps on running down heavily.

Expressing love might be hard, and you might be scarred along the way. Even if that dream is being left alone, that dream will continue to grow. The moments since I know Jongin starts to be replay. I smile to myself but the tears are flowing. What is this? Why does my heart feel so much pain? Why do I cry? Thrugh the memories, I search for every trace of Jongin. Inside this tranquil eternity, this place is just a dream, just amidst of the dream. I let my soul fly up somewhere with my steady wings. Maybe someday everything will turn back to how it was, trusting the future after the light in a good grips.  

" You must learn how to walk on your own soon Jongin.. " 

I hope we could sing together as we walk home together again. I hope we could go back to those times, before he changes. Jongin is my precious treasure. The scent of freshly blooming flowers surrounded me as I'm holding onto Jongin's warm and big hands. But now, that dreams seems to be so fainted and it is fleeting away. I wonder my heart hurt more rather than my thigh does. 

" I'm not asking for anything.. But please remember.. Try not to forget about how we met and become friends, spending our times together.. Jonginnie.. " I says out faintly sick. 

In this moving time, we met by chance, didn't we? Or is it really destiny? The fate sure are playing a trick on us. This overflowing feeling I have would not disappear. It will never gone, because I'm keeping it warms. The echoes of my heartbeat could actually be heard whenever Jongin is around me. But this clumsy feeling couldn't be convey to him. For all the pass years, for all the seasons tat has pass, i am always there, wathing him nearby as he grows up. My tears fall. He has grown up. I want to burn his figure, and everything about him and let them drifts into the sky as I calmly embraces them. Everytime he pushes me away, at that time I were feeling lost.

I'll continue to be his angel.. Spread my wings that is call the strength. I will continue to protect him, more than anyone could ever do.

That pain of him that is branded in my heart is slowly killing me when I saw him meeting the perfect girl, in a place where our memories embedded deeply.