Walking dead.

 

Yonghwa seemed like a walking dead person dragging himself in the street where he lives. In fact, he missed the building where he lives in. He just kept walking and walking staring blankly. It was cold in Seoul, but he never felt any of it. He was too hurt to feel anything except being hurt. His handsome yet tear-stained face could not lie. It was shouting broken, sad and well, almost as if dying.

 

His brothers couldn’t do anything. For one, Jonghyun is broken-hearted himself; Minhyuk didn’t know how to comfort him and Jungshin is just being Jungshin; he just felt like crying with Hyung.

 

The man too in love is shattered in an instant; his heart and his world were broken into pieces the moment his love and life, Park Shin Hye admitted she was confused when her first love came back.

 

Shin Hye did not want to talk to him for the time being. He went to her house but she refused to see him. It took only one look and Yonghwa knew he couldn’t insist.

 

One look…
And “Yong…” from her.

 

That’s all… and he leaves, he gets out of her sight.

 

They’re that close.

 

And he cries. Yonghwa cries when he gets into his car.

 

One time, she called him crying. He was ecstatic one minute then everything came crashing the next.

 

“I need you now…” She cried, “But just as my best friend, please.”

 

Shin Hye was fighting an emotional battle. She’s in this emotional coaster ride.

 

Yonghwa could not tell Shin Hye he doesn’t understand because he does. He knew Shin Hye too well that he understood well. If there’s one person who understood her best, it was him. If this had happened to Shi-Yoon, Yonghwa could be the one explaining to him that Mario Maurer is an extraordinary guy and that he is someone really special to Park Shin Hye.

 

Jung Yonghwa can be the best person to explain and make Shin Hye’s boyfriend understand how different Mario Maurer is from the rest of the guys.

 

Because Yonghwa knows how much she loved him.
 

Yonghwa knows how much Shin Hye cried because of him.

Yonghwa knows how much Shin Hye wanted him back.
 

Yonghwa knows how much Shin Hye will get confused if ever Mario will appear in front of her again.
 

Yonghwa knows how special that first love is to Park Shin Hye.
 

And Yonghwa knows there will come a time he had to explain to Shin Hye’s boyfriend how different Mario Maurer is and that he should understand when Shin Hye wavers.

 

 

Because Yonghwa knows…

 

What Yonghwa didn’t know is that he had to explain it to himself.

 

He also doesn’t have the time to do it anyway; he was too busy crying, feeling hurt and looking for things for him to at least feel numb. Forgetting is out of the question; he was dead sure he’s never going to forget.

 

Park Shin Hye is part of him no matter what. 
Jung Yonghwa breathes Park Shin Hye. Period.

 

But again, she doesn’t want to see him yet, doesn’t want to talk to him. So he had no choice but to respect that.

 

With a heavy heart because of failed relationship with his girlfriend, Yonghwa went home to Busan and spent a few days there. He was unusually quiet all this time too, speaking only when he was being spoken to. He never initiated any conversations as well.

 

He wanted to seek comfort from someone.

 

Someone who’s always been there for him.
Someone who Jung Yonghwa wanted next to him at the extreme moments of his life: when he’s happiest or saddest.

 

Who else?

 

 

Shin Hye’s Home
10.30 p.m.

 

Yonghwa had to ring the doorbell because Shin Hye had changed her door passcode. And he had to control his tears when he found out for the first time that she did.

 

He had never memorized all of his passwords or passcodes, that’s a fact. But never for once, he forgot her door passcode. Never.

 

He had it memorized like his own birthday.

 

But now, he doesn’t know. And he felt crying and felt like throwing away the bottles of Soju inside the plastic bag that he was carrying in his hand. Yonghwa was screaming inside.

 

He lost his girlfriend… and best friend.
It can’t be happening.
No, it shouldn’t be… not now, not on his next lifetime… never.

 

Shin Hye opened the door but wanted to close it immediately. Yonghwa stopped it just as quick causing the Soju bottles to bump into each other.

 

He bought Soju.
And Shin Hye saw inside the other bag that he was holding is that Shrimp flavored crackers.

 

That break-up snack.
Shrimp-flavored crackers and Soju.
Yonghwa always have them if he just broke up with his girlfriend.

 

Shin Hye shifted her gaze to him. Yonghwa saw her look at what he brought.

 

They stared at each other.
They stared long and hard.

 

Then Shin Hye had let go of the knob.
She had let go and had let him in.

 

 

She knew what he’s there for.
He knew that she knew what he’s there for.

 

Yonghwa went in and walked past her.

 

“My new passcode’s still your birthday, only the year comes first…” Shin Hye told him.

 

Oh damn.
He held his breath.
She held her breath too.

 

Yonghwa just nodded. He went to the kitchen to get glasses for the Soju but he stopped, he just got the bottle opener. They’re just going to drink from the bottle directly.

 

Yonghwa came back and sat in the living room. He didn’t take any of the sofas or the comfy chairs. He sat on the floor with his back leaning on the sofa. He opened the crackers and the bottles of Soju. He wasn’t saying anything. He started to eat and drink and he just stared at the flower pot where his vision landed.

 

Shin Hye watched him for minutes before settling next to him on the floor.

 

He didn’t come there as her boyfriend.

 

He’s Jung Yonghwa as her best friend, who needed her to comfort him.

 

She opened her own bottle of Soju and began drinking too. Later on, they were sharing the crackers.

 

But no one was talking.

 

Yonghwa was on his fifth bottle, Shin Hye his third. Shin Hye had a hard time opening her third Soju that Yonghwa got the bottle and opened it for her.

 

“I broke up with my girlfriend.” Yonghwa spoke in a soft voice, but still not looking at Shin Hye.

 

Finally.
It must’ve been hours now.

 

“I know.” Shin Hye replied with an equally soft voice.

 

“I’m sad, Shin Chan.” Yonghwa began crying. “I don’t know what to do…”

 

“Yah…” Shin Hye pretended to be cheerful. “Damn that woman. How dare her make my best friend cry? Don’t cry Yonghwa, please don’t cry. It’s breaking my heart too.”

 

Yonghwa finally looked at her, and he wiped his tears. “She’s a bad woman… she is. After making me fall so hard, she broke my heart.”

 

Shin Hye agreed. “Cruel. Heartless.”

 

Yonghwa smiled, “And because of that I need a hug.”

 

“And you’re a bad man, Jung Yonghwa.” Shin Hye, after a long time laughed. But she pulled Yonghwa for a tight hug. “You know I love you, right?”

 

“I do…” Yonghwa whispered in her ears, “I love you too… I do… so much.”

 

Sweet?
Not quite.

 

Because that’s Jung Yonghwa and Park Shin Hye as best of friends, and not as boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

“Do you think she’ll come back to me?” Yonghwa asked her.

 

He had asked her this question the same number of times he broke up with his ex-girlfriends.
She had always answered, ‘A better woman will come along. Someone you deserve.’

 

Yonghwa held his breath. If Shin Hye answers the way she used to, it’s going to crush his already crushed heart.

 

Shin Hye didn’t answer, she hugged Yonghwa again.

 

That was hanging Park Shin Hye.
That was a cliff-hanger.

 

“How’s that ?” Yonghwa asked her when they broke off from their embrace.

 

“Still handsome.” Shin Hye smiled evilly. “Handsome as ever.”

 

“Oh.” That’s all Yonghwa could say.

 

Oh.

 

Mario.
Oh.

 

“Didn’t you say he had the face that guys could turn gay for?” Shin Hye laughed trying to make him remember.

 

“I didn’t say that.” Yonghwa glared at her. “Jonghyun even looked more handsome than that .”

 

Shin Hye just smiled.

 

“I miss you.” Yonghwa turned serious. “I miss being with you.”

 

“You know what I’m going through right?” Shin Hye asked.

 

“Yes.” He nodded.

 

“And…”

 

Yonghwa cut her off, “I don’t care if you come back to me as a best friend, I don’t care… I can’t lose you. I’d take everything in. I have to see you like I used to. I have to talk to you everyday, be with you everyday. That thin line that you were talking about, put that back in. It never existed for me, but if it does for you, then it will for me. I’ll put it back. I cannot lose you Shin Hye. No, I cannot.”

 

 “Things are not going to be easy…” Shin Hye bit her lip, “I guess it’s just a phase that I’m going through right now, Yong. And friends can be lovers, but lovers, well…it’s hard to be friends… for us, it’s going to be difficult.”

 

“I said I don’t care.” He replied, his eyes and tone more serious than ever. “It’s like going back on how things were like before.”

 

“I will try.” Shin Hye was almost teary-eyed.

 

“Don’t try, do it.” He told her. “I have to survive hear you talk about him.”

 

Ouch.
But whatta man, Jung Yonghwa.

 

Letting go of his feelings in order not to lose her entirely. He had to eat his pride. He had to veer away from his own bitterness too.

 

Pride.
Bitterness.

 

Both equally destructive.
Both are enough to make you one unhappy soul.
Makes people leave… and hate you.

 

Yonghwa can’t afford Shin Hye leave him or to hate him. He already said he’ll take everything in.

 

“There are things we can’t do anymore…” Shin Hye tried to look away from him.

 

“We never made love when we were just friends.” Yonghwa had to remind her.

 

“Yonghwa!!!” Shin Hye was surprised on how he answered.

 

“What?” He tried to control his laughter.

 

Great.
One minute they’re serious, the next they’re not.

 

“I wasn’t thinking about that.” She blushed. “You cannot sleep on my bed anymore.”

 

“See?” Yonghwa smiled, “You were thinking about that.”

 

Yes, Shin Hye you were definitely thinking about that.

 

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“I won’t touch you. No skinship. I know that much.” Yonghwa told her, “If you want me, you have to pay me.”

 

Oh dear.
Nice joke, Yonghwa.

 

How much are you, handsome?
Girls are willing to give up their inheritance now.

 

“Let’s go back to how things are before.” Yonghwa told her. “Until you realize you can’t live without me, until you realize it’s still me that you love, and that it’s always been me, Jung Yonghwa.”

 

Yonghwa is so back.
That confidence level will probably reach the Milky Way because it’s way too high.  

 

“Just a phase you’re going through, huh?” He went on, “You’re damn lucky, I am too in love with you that I am willing to wait. Mario Maurer maybe different. He’ll always be different, I know that. But I am Jung Yonghwa and I need not explain further.”

 

Ho ho ho.
So daring y and confident…

 

“You are stubborn.” Shin Hye reminded him.

 

“No, I’m not.” He fought, "Well then if I am then there’s just a thin line between being stubborn and being too in love.”

 

“Yonghwa…”

 

 “Let’s see where ‘being different’ and ‘being the first love’ can take him.” He flashed his toothy smile. “My name is Yong. I am Shin Hye’s Yong.”

 

Shin Hye was just listening to him all this time smiling, unsure whether to slap him or be proud of his confidence or be happy that they somehow made up.

 

It’s Yonghwa, alright. She expected that. She knew how he is, how his attitude was like but just the same she was surprised the way he was acting now.

 

But Shin Hye could probably contest all that’s he saying, except for one thing.
 

He is her Yong.

He is Shin Hye’s Yong.
 

She knows that.

She knows that too damn well.

 

 

Mario and Shin Hye’s Movie Filming Site
6 p.m.

 

He was signing autographs.

No, not Mario.
Yonghwa.

 

He came to say Hi.

 

Yeah, right.
He came to spy on Shin Hye and mock Mario.

 

“He looked too old.” He whispered to Manager Jun. “And he doesn’t look like he’s taken a bath for days.”

 

Pfft.
C’mon Yonghwa, that’s too childish, baby.

 

“They’re not dating.” Manager Jun laughed. “So quit it.”

 

Oh.

 

Yonghwa stopped. “They’re… they’re… not?”

 

He pretended he didn’t hear clearly because he wanted to hear it again. That, ‘they’re not dating’.

 

“You heard me.” Shin Hye’s manager laughed, “Well, Mario kept asking her out but she kept saying no. But she told him she and her boyfriend is still on a cool-off period for the moment. Not entirely separated.”

 

The toothy smile appeared.

 

“And he doesn’t know it’s you, by the way.” Manager Jun added.

 

Great.
And the toothy smile disappeared.

 

Shin Hye apparently kept her boyfriend’s identity hidden. How about giving him an alias, Se Ju? Lee Shin?

 

 Manager Jun left the pouting Yonghwa in the corner, still unsure why Shin Hye had to do that. Why can’t she tell Mario that Yonghwa was her boyfriend?

 

He doesn’t have an idea why.
None.

 

After the filming ended, he asked Shin Hye to have dinner with him. But the entire cast and crew had something planned for that night. Yonghwa didn’t want to join them. Of course, he was saying he’ll feel out of place etcetera. Manager Jun, Yoon Jeong, Shin Hye’s make-up artist believed him, Shin Hye didn’t.

 

Yonghwa can never be out of place. He can be invited in a party of strangers, then an hour later, he’ll be the life of that party. He simply didn’t want to be around Mario. He only said hello to him, patted his back and left.

 

In a normal scenario, they could’ve been drinking buddies. Mario is in good terms with Shin Hye now. And Yonghwa is her best friend. It goes without saying that things should be alright with Yonghwa and Mario too, but it’s not. Mario felt Yonghwa still hasn’t forgiven him after all what he has done to Shin Hye in the past. What Mario didn’t know is that Yonghwa is Shin Hye’s boyfriend now.

 

“Come with us.” Mario spoke from behind.

 

Yonghwa was telling Shin Hye not to go to the dinner with the rest of her cast members and the staff.

 

“I’m tired.” Yonghwa lied; he slept the whole afternoon in the dorm.

 

“Ah.” Mario looked apologetic. “Too bad.”

 

“Maybe next time.” Yonghwa lied again. Of course there wouldn’t be a next time. Maybe in the next century.

 

“I’ll go ahead.” Mario told him and then shifted to Shin Hye. “I’ll wait for you in the car. Let’s go together.”

 

“Okay.” Shin Hye nodded.

 

That ‘Okay’ almost sounded the death of Jung Yonghwa.
He didn’t know it’s going to hurt that bad, seeing her choose between him and Mario and she chose Mario.

 

She wasn’t even formally presented with choices yet.
Oh well, that isn’t necessary.

 

She made her choice.

 

Her dinner was at Chinese restaurant in Apgujeong.
His dinner was at his favorite Pojangmacha near their dorm.

 

Chubby Yong went home crying.

 

You just wanted to be back even as best friends, right?
You’ll take everything in, right?

 

That thin line is back, right?

 

Now he believes in That Thin Line.

 

 

Why is Park Shin Hye confused?
Why oh Why?

 

She was staring at the mirror, looking at her own face asking that question. Shin Hye never thought she’ll reach that crossroads.

 

Crossroads.

Choosing between people.

Choosing between people whom she loves.

 

Mario is her first love. It took her forever to forget him. She cried liters of tears when Mario admitted he fell in love with his own best friend. She was too hurt by him but never for once did she think about getting back at him. Shin Hye can do that if she wanted to. She had her best friend, Yonghwa. Even just for show, she could’ve gotten back at Mario for what he did to her but Shin Hye never did. Because she truly loved him. And never for once, did she tell other people nor herself that she will reject him if ever he will come back. That’s how she loved him.

 

One true love, maybe.
Maybe not.

 

Because there’s Jung to the Yonghwa.

 

That guy who claims that he’s Shin Hye’s number one. Actually he had every right to do that… to claim that he’s numero uno.  Shin Hye smiled when she remembered how Yonghwa boasted his supremacy over other guys, over Mario. He said he’s Jung Yonghwa. He’s Yong. And Shin Hye knew that deep inside, that Yonghwa can say that day-in, day-out. He can be proud of it because it’s true.

 

Shin Hye had always dropped everything and literally every man for Jung Yonghwa. Even when it’s still not a romantic relationship they’re sharing, it’s Yong over here, Yong over there for her.

 

Number 1 guy for her, always.

 

The biggest mistake that Shin Hye probably has ever committed is that she had made known to Yonghwa that he is her weakness. It’s enough that he knows that he is her strength, but letting him know that she can be vulnerable without him proved to be a little dangerous. Good thing, Yonghwa considers Shin Hye to be his weakness too, and that made them equal.

 

Now it’s between the guy she loved first and didn’t easily forget and the guy she loved most and probably will never forget.

 

Mario vs. Yonghwa.

 

Mario was wooing her again.
The way he used to win her before.
He doubled his efforts.
He doubled his sweetness.
Seriousness, notches higher.
He meant business.
His sincerity unparallel-ed.
He will not go wrong this time.

 

It wasn’t easy when Mario had to get Shin Hye say yes the first time. It was tiring for a young man like him. But he loved her, truly. He learned Korean, for one. He traveled back from Thailand to South Korea whenever there’s a chance for him to do so. If there’s no chance, he created one. He even learned Korean traditions and ways. He learned about her. He learned about her family.  He fit in to her world. Then he made her his world.

 

If Shin Hye rejected him, her parents could’ve sent her to a boarding school in somewhere in Switzerland.

 

Mario was too nice. He exerted too much effort to win her, to win her love. He was sincere. Just too bad, he was too comfortable with his own best friend, Gubgib and that it eventually turned into love.

 

But.

 

There is also Jung Yonghwa.

 

He says that’s enough. His name can be enough. Drop the ‘Hwa’, even Yong is more powerful.

 

Yong.
Shin Hye’s Yong.

 

That man didn’t exert as much effort as Mario did. In fact, most of the time he was effortless. He just happened to be Shin Hye’s best friend.

 

Bestest of the bestest. 

 

He had girlfriends. But he’d always choose Shin Hye. She didn’t ask him, he just did. With all his mind, heart and soul, he’d choose Shin Hye. Remember, if the girlfriends had an issue with the best friend, she becomes an ex-girlfriend.

 

Then they fell in love. That’s expected. Actually, Shin Hye knew that. She expected that. How can you say you can’t live without a person without loving that person? She hated for lying to herself all this time. She hated herself for pushing Yonghwa away who had been very vocal about wanting to be more than friends.

 

Nice?
Shin Hye’s going to love him even his not as nice as Mario Maurer. But Yonghwa is nice too. He’s a man with big and warm heart.

 

Sincere?
SINCERE.
It should  be all caps for Mr. Jung.

 

Sweet?
Let’s not get to that, please. The sweet boyfriend and the sweet best friend are too different personas. Different. Yet both are freaking nerve-wracking sweet.

 

Damn.
Sweet guy, Yong.

 

While Shin Hye appreciated Mario’s effort to learn everything about her, she just couldn’t find the right words to describe how she felt about Yonghwa in that aspect.

 

Yonghwa can read her.
 

She can’t even lie to him.
 

That forgetful guy knew all favorite things, her likes, dislikes. Her preschool teacher’s name. The bully who pushed her at the playground when she was six years old, causing her to have that scar on her left knee. When she had last bought her toothbrush. When she had  her last period. (Oh well, that one should not count. Yonghwa HAS to know.)
 

Yonghwa knows everything about her. He can pack her suitcase for her if she goes on a trip; he knows where to get to her things.
Even just as bestfriends, Yonghwa can name Shin Hye’s future kids and she will not make a big deal out of it.

 

And her family is his family too. No one can match that.

 

Damn.
They’re that close.

 

“Why am I confused?” Shin Hye asked. “Why?”

 

Why, Park Shin Hye?

 

Because the hug made her uncomfortable. Mario hugged her and she didn’t want to let go. And she kept thinking about him. It’s first love knocking to her heart once again. It has to be and nothing else.  

 

And now, Mario is trying to make her his again. She hasn’t said yes but didn’t reject him either. Yonghwa is back as her best friend. She was safe having Yonghwa by her side, but that was too cruel of her. He didn’t want to lose her, so he’d rather lose his face of going back to his status of a best friend rather than lose her to Mario.

 

But the confusion never ends.

One thing’s for sure, she loves Yonghwa, not just as a best friend but as a boyfriend. No questions about that. The confusion starts on the premise that maybe she still likes Mario. But then again, even if she does like Mario, again, she had always dropped everything and every man for Yonghwa.

 

But how powerful is first love exactly?
 

Shin Hye could only smile.
A sigh followed that sigh, and then she asked…

 

“Why am I confused?”

 

 

Onboard KE 781
Seoul to Fukuoka
6.40 p.m.

 

“I want to sleep.” Yonghwa threw Jungshin a glare.

 

The maknae was not a bit threatened and adjusted his seatbelt to face his Hyung, who obviously was irritated by his talkative seatmate.

 

“Hyung.” Jungshin was still excited, as if he didn’t hear what Yonghwa just said. “Let’s just make Shin Hye-Noona jealous. It’ll work. Ayumi-chan said its fine, I spoke with her…”

 

“You what?” Yonghwa couldn’t believe what he just heard. He really wanted to sleep because when they reach Fukuoka they’ll head to rehearsals directly. It’s going to be a long day and tomorrow, it’s already their concert.

 

Satomi Ayumi.
Yonghwa knows her.

 

Yonghwa felt scared by that woman actually. She was FNC’s Japan managing director’s daughter and his stalker whenever they’re in Japan. She couldn’t be the one he should be asking help from if he wanted to make Shin Hye jealous. In the first place, he didn’t want Shin Hye to feel that way.

 

And number two, and most importantly, she’s Risa-chan’s BFF. Jonghyun’s ex. They couldn’t be doing anything with them anymore.

 

“You know, she’s Risa-chan’s friend right?” Yonghwa asked Jungshin.

 

“Oh carrot.” Jungshin sat back, his eyes wide. “I forgot.”

 

Jungshin scanned the plane trying to locate where Jonghyun was seated. When he couldn’t see him, he tried to whisper, “Phew. I thought Jonghyun-Hyung heard me.”

 

“I did.” Jonghyun was seating in front him. He peeked on the side. “Why don’t you date Ayumi-chan instead?”

 

“Oh carrot.” Jungshin was surprised, he looked around but never looked in front of him. “Sorry Hyung.”

 

“When we get down, run as fast as you can, Lee Jungshin.” Jonghyun was not laughing when he warned him. Of course he was joking, but Jungshin was taking it seriously. Minhyuk, who was seating next to Jonghyun, was laughing hard silently.

 

“Fine. Beat me. Beat me until I’m black and blue.” Jungshin told him. “Beat me until I can’t talk. So that I won’t be able to tell you that I ran into Jin Yi-Noona the other day and that she asked ‘How is Collin doing?’ and I replied, ‘He’s fine but definitely not fine without you.’ I even added, ‘That guy was like girlfriendless since the day you dumped him. He never went out with other girls…’ Oh, but I said she can tell everyone what I told her except Jong hoon…”

 

Oh, Jungshin.
Beat him Jonghyun, and I will beat you.
Black and black.

 

Even Yonghwa laughed.

 

“You’re lying.” Jonghyun told him.

 

“I’m not.” Jungshin replied a little bit loudly, one passenger had to stand up and talk to him.

 

“You are too noisy.” The passenger came from behind.

 

Jungshin was biting his lip, trying not to emit any sound. Yonghwa shook his head while he covered his face with his hands slightly a bit.

 

“My Hyung is the one noisy. Jonghyun-Hyung.” Jungshin cleared his throat before he spoke again.

 

The passenger walked further in front to where Jungshin pointed at. To his Hyung. Jonghyun-Hyung.

 

Of course, they could be noisy. The business class seats in the aircraft are situated far from each other, and Jonghyun had his back on Jungshin all this time so he can’t hear him well so Jungshin really had to speak loudly.

 

“You’re too noisy.” The passenger told Jonghyun. “And Jungshin is not lying…”

 

Awww.

 

No.
Mak