Prince Charming
♥ Dimple - 보조개 {Bojogae} ♥
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His scent.. Like a walk though a lavender field.
His perfect chocolate brown eyes, melting my heart.
His voice, so warm, so soft.
I don't think I can forget him easily.. But he have probably
forgotten all about me, a totally unimportant person.
~
I was exhausted by running.. I shouldn't had done it that fast. I could feel pain coming. I just needed to go back to my room fast. I was hoping, that mom hadn't seen, that I was missing. I walked faster. I could see the hospital right in front of my eyes, but the pain came rushing, and that made me scream. I fell to the ground by the massive pain, not knowing where came from. I felt pain in every singæe part of my body.
"Emily!!" I heard someone yell. but I couldn't see anything, everything went black.
~
I felt powerless, when opening my eyes. I had aboloutly no thoughts about moving my body. Just opening my eyes, that would be a good start.
Still I could feel that extremely pain.
I was laying in my hospital bed. Mom was right beside me, holding my right hand.
"Emily.. Hey.. How are you?" she asked me, when I looked over at her.
"I'm okay." I said, trying to smile.
"Don't you ever dare to leavethis room, without permission. Okay?" she said forcefully. I just nodded.. Stil today was unforgetable. It was all worth it.
"What in the world where you thinking..." she mumbled.
I just turned around, as much as I could, and looked out of the window. From here I could see a bit of 'Eden', my own little paradise. A smile appeared, I wonder if mom saw it. - I will go there some more in the future, I just knew.
I apparently fell asleep by looking out of from the window, because I woke up later on that day. I looked around, but couldn't see mom. Where was she? Thinking of any possible option, I came with a conclution, that she was probably talking with some random doctor. About what, was the big question.
Laying for 10 more minutes, mom finally came back.
"Oh, you're awake.." she said, when she closed the door quietly.
"I talked with doctor Kim just a few minutes ago, and he said, that you can go outside by yourself now. Just after you've finished your chemo-bags, then it's alright. He also said that the chemo is working well." Mom sounded reall happy about the progress, but also worried about me going outside.
I was so happy, hearing those great news, I couldn't believe, that the chemo finally gave some result! And what I was also so happy about, was that I could go outside, and enjoy the beautiful nature, without doing it illigal anymore!
"What? Really? That's fantastic!" I said, and and mom smiled.
"So what are your birthday wishes?" she asked.
In next week was my birthday. I forgot all about it for a while, because I only wanted to go outside.. I didn't really wished for anything.. Or I wished my whole family could be here, but that was an unreal thought. Then maybe a wig would be good? Then I could walk around in the city, without thinking that I was different. I didn't wanted people to see me as a cancer patient, who probably was weak, and couldn't do anything by herself, because I'm not like that at all.. Walking around with a wig. Feeling hair on my balled head, what a nice thought..
"Em? Did you hear me?" Mom sudden spoke, I must've been in my own world for a second. I couldn't think of anything else besides those wishes.
"Oh yeah.. I don't really have any wishes.. Uhm.. A.. W-wig? I know it's a silly wish.. I mean I'm not sure.."
"No that's good! And what about surprises? Is that also okay?"
I nodded, with a smile.
~
- Later That Day -
Of course I knew mo couldn't get so pissed, because she let me wander around at the hospital, alone. Still this weren't outside, but again, this is kinda felt like outside, outside from my so extremely boring room, where nothing ever happened.
I wore patient-clothes, and I had changed into a red bandana.
I was walking down on the blue hall. I kept thinking about my birthday. What would my present be? Would I just eat disgusting hospital food, or were we going to a fine restaurant?
A lot had happened since I got my diagnosis, my life changed drastically.. From heaven to hell.. I clearly remembered how it all started, even though it was memories I tried so hard to erase..
- FLASHBACK -
"Hey Em!" Laurie said, when we met at the schools front gate. Laurie and I had been best friends since kindergarten. Her mom, mrs. Ocampo, and my mom were also really close friends. Same as Mr. Ocampo and my dad. They would always sigh, and walk out to the garage, when the ladies would start to talk about all that you know, 'female stuff!' as my dad would say. Then the males would talk about football and cars, and so on..
The Ocampo family moved to London from the Phillipines, because of Mr. Ocampo's work. He were the CEO of Suzuki's assistant, but now was the Staff Manager.
They were all really friendly and hospitable, and would always invite us for dinner. I really loved the coconut cake, Bibinka, mrs. Ocampo would make very often.
"Laurie!~ Hello!" I said, smiling to her.
~
"Hey girls~~" someone sudden spoke from behind, when we were walking down, on the hall. Laurie got a so huge shock, that she jumped a few inches up in the air.
"Trevor for god sake! You almost gave me a heartattack!" Laurie afterwards yelled.
Trevor was my second best friend. He was one year older than Laurie and I. All the girls couldn't understand why I still hadn't fallen for him, because they obviously thought he was so incredible handsome. I seriously couldn't see it..
Trevors parents divorced after only a few years of marrige, which changed Trevor a bit. He started to care less about his appearence, and definitely also his homeworks! I many times had to say to him, that he needed to get a hold of himself, and start to focus.
He laughed, and apologized.
"Are both of you coming to the park after school today?" he asked. We had this habbit after school, going to the park, and play some football Laurie would always bring her really expensive football, that she got from her parents last christmas. I actually couldn't understand, how she could use it! Such an expensive, and important thing. If it were mine, I would put it on a shield, so when I woke up, and went to sleep, I would always see the beautiful football..
"Of course we are, right Em?"
"I don't know about today.. i'm not feeling that well.."
"Since when? Nevermind, then you should go home Emily!" Trevor quickly answered.
"Nah, it's nothing big, I'll probably feel better when the school day ends. Then we'll see if I'm going, okay?"
"Okay!" They both said, and then we seperated from Trevor, and went to the class.
"Are you feeling better now?" Trevor came with Laurie behind, with her precious football in her hands.
I nodded, and we started to walk.
When we came to the park, we threw our bags at the usual appletree. When the summer season would be here, we would always take some apples, and take with us home, which probably was illigal, but who cared? There were never a single guard in the park.
"Let's go!" Trevor said loudly, and Laurie smiled.
"Come on Em!" Laurie yelled.
"Yeah!~ I just needed to turn my phone back on!" I answered back, and ran out to them. While running, I felt a sudden pain in my chest. A pain, I hadn't felt before. I didn't know why I sudden felt that pain. Did I stand up too fast?
"Em, are you okay?!" Laurie yelled, and came running over to a stooped me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's play!" I knocked a bit with my fist on my chest, and we were running again.
It was Laurie and I, against Trevor. First I scored, then Trevor, and lastly Laurie.
"Ha! Loser! You're getting worser by time!" Laurie said, when our little game reached an end.
Trevor just replied with a smirk, and tousled her hair.
In my entire life, I've never ever experienced any sympthomes for astma, but after the game, I felt breathless, and started to cough. A lot even.
With my hand covering my mouth, I suddenly felt some kind of smile, or indeed liquid inside of my hand.
To my big surprise, it was blood, and in that very moment, when I looked at my hand with eyes as big as teacups, Trevor and Laurie was looking at me.
"I-is that b-blood?" Trevor asked.
I just nodded, because I was so surprised.
"Emily! We need to get you to a doctor now!"
After that episode in the park, I went to the nearest emergency-room, and met with my mom. Nurses couldn't find the problem, so they just sent me home. But two weeks later, it happened again.
Nurses became worried, and finally started to take some tests.
For many weeks, many tests were taken. I got so exhausted, and prayed, thats they would find the reason of my puking up blood.
The phone rang one day, when we were eating lunch.
"Hello.. Yes that's me," I heard small pieces of her conversation.
"..Yes, today is okay. Okay. See you.. Bye!" she lastly saidm and hung up.
"It was the hospital.. They got something to tell us, so we'll go after lunch." I just nodded, while thinking, what it could be, that they wanted to tell us.
I couldn't cry. I was too shocked to react on anything. Mom cried. A lot. They said it was lung cancer. I was in third stage, almost dying. Chemo couldn't help that much. Evebtually only extent my living-time by some years. The though of not having that many years left, was so unreal to me. My grandfather also had lung cancer, so maybe I got it from him? Mom couldn't stop crying.
"Mom, please.. Stop crying, even though I know you can't.. Just try.. Until we've reached home.." I placed my hand, on her shoulder, while we were walking through the park. People looked at us.
"What if you're going to die soon? What should we do? I wasn't prepared for this to happen!" her eyes changed into two waterfalls, where the tears ran and ran in infinity.
"No one were ever prepared for this to happen, mom. Let's go home."
The next days, we needed to decide wheter to get a treatment or not. I wasn't at school, because I would throw up much more often now, and I counldn't concentrate even on the smallest things.. Mom kept looking on the internet for any possible treatment, that would not only extend my life, but kill the cancer totally.
I heard from my dad, that both Laurie and Trevor weren't in school. I felt so guilty. I was maybe the reason, that they would not pass the soon exam in spring. They were probably as shocked as me, to know that I maybe wouldn't be here for a long time.
Also the following nights were filled with frightening nightmares and sleplessness. I would often cry myself to sleep, with the thoughts of dying. I felt like everything got ripped out of me. That there was nothing left inside of me. Totally empty.
Jonathan and Rose got the news after a week. Mom and dad told them. I were in the room al that day. I couldn't stand watching them crying, or how they would react in any possible way., but later on mom told me, that Rose imidially started to cry, and Jonathan walked into his room, where mom found him crying.
I became a huge burden to the family. Or they said the oppisite. I felt to bad, making all so worried. I made all people sad, and also made them cry. What use were there for me to live anymore? Couldn't I just give up already? It would've been much better if I wouldn't know it at all, then just pass away quietly one day, and then they could've find out that I actually had cancer. Why didn't it turn out that way instead?
- END OF FLASHBACK -
I could feel tears falling down, while remembereing the whole dammit story puzzle for puzzle. I wished so many times that it was a dream, but of course we couldn't all live in such a happy and lucky world.
I bumped into something suddenly, without realizing. Actually not something, but someone.
"Oh! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" a deep, cracky, but indeed handsome voice asked.
"No, it's all my fault! Are you alright?" I asked, and wiped my many tears away, hoping no one saw them.
"I'm okay." he then replied with a smirk, that made me melt like chocolate on the stove on the higest temperature.
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