Adventure!

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Two months have passed since I got my first chemo bag. Many more sad incidents had passed. My hair was gone. Still an unreal thought to me. I avoided all mirrors, but sometimes was it just impossible. And when it happened, I got teary eyes, and mom just tried to comfort me. You can't comfort me. How would you feel if all your hair was gone?

By covering my balled head, mom had bought some bandanas in different colors.

I was on the edge of suicide, but I couldn't. Nurses were all over the place. They always kept an eye on me. I felt like nobody liked me anymore. That mom didn't wanted to be here. Because I was a big obstacle for her. She missed dad, Rose and Jonathan much, I could feel that. She changed subject right away, when we talked about home.

Other teenagers here on the hospital didn't want to hang out with me, probably because I was a foreigner. I was very alone. I needed someone to talk with besides mom. Someone that I could talk about my problems and happy memories. Just one person. Please.

I had sick thoughts. Thoughts I couldn't say to anybody. Thoughts that I kept to myself. Thoughts I hoped would disappear after time, but they didn't. They just got worser and worser.

Instead of committing suicide, then cutting in myself would help? Probably only temporary. The pain of cutting myself couldn't be worse than the pain of chemo.

I had lost a lot of weight. Mom was extremely concerned about me. She forced food into me. On lucky days I could eat a half portion dinner.

I still felt that the chemo treatment hadn't helped yet. 'Be patient' they said, every time I asked. There wasn't a specific date that I could come home. I could be here for two years or something, who knew?

"Mom, when are we going home?" I said with a week voice because of the chemo bag soon finished. Laying in the hospital bed, while looking out of the window. The sun was shining. I would rather have rain. Rain is depressing for the most of people, but I loved rain. After it had rained there was this fresh air that I liked very much.

"Em, we've only been here for two months.. We don't know anything yet."

"I want to go home!" I yelled. Mom suddenly stood up from the chair beside the my bed with a shocked face.

"Calm down Emily. Remember what the doctors said? You can't have a too high pulse rate"

"I don't care!! I miss dad and the others! I have to lay in this uncomfortable bed all day!! I don't have anyone to talk with, I'm all alone, I throw up everyday, I'm hungry but I can't eat anything! Let me die already!!" I cried, and mom could see the pain in my heart. She had teary eyes.

"I know I know... Let's just calm down.. Okay?" She made signs with her hands, and made me more calm. I nodded and kept quiet for some minutes.

"I'll just go to the restroom" Mom said, I nodded again.

I looked again out of the window. The whole hospital had only one level. Right out in front of the window there was a park, and a bit further away, a lake with a bridge going over. I still haven't been able to go there. I really wished to. It looked so peaceful, and I really hoped that I could spent a lot of hours there in the future. Alone or together with someone didn't matter, just that I could get out of here.

"Hello Miss Adams, is your chemo bag empty?" The nicely and very pretty young nurse said while bowing. She've been here a few times before, and I knew her name, Park SeoWoo. I pronounced it wrong every time I said it, she just smiled and corrected me. She was the only nurse I liked here. She always had her beautiful long hair up in a ponytail. She would always use the same elastic, a blue with a butterfly on. Maybe a bit childish to use, but maybe she had a daughter. The daughter must be lucky to have such a pretty mom.

"Yes it is" I said with a forcing smile.

"Then this was the last chemo bag for this week."

I nodded, and then she bowed and walked to the door. I don't know what's with all this bowing stuff.. But I feel like a queen or something! Kinda awesome! When I'll get better I also need to greet with bows, I think they do it to show respect to each other. Or just like when we shake hands!

"Don't force a smile on your face. Get some sleep instead." She bowed again, and continued her way out. The reason why she was the only nurse I liked here, was because I felt like she could see me, me from inside. See me as who I was. Understand me, and see when I was lying and pretending.

Mom still hadn't come back after 15 minutes. Could it be that dad had called? No then she would come into my room, ad then we would talk together with him.

Then I reminded myself of something.. I could go on adventure after a long time. Of course without getting caught.. I didn't know if I was strong enough.. Hwaiting Em! As they always said here. I think it was something like 'Be Strong' or something.. With a silent 'hwaiting!' I turned around and stood up from the bed.

"Ah!!" I yelled, and fell down on the ground. I was in big pain. But I just really needed to go outside.

Second try and it succeeded. Holding on the side where the pain mostly was, I continued walking towards the door.

Looked to the other side, then the other. Nobody on the hall. I had to be fast. Humbling fast I reached the outer door and opened it with all my strength. The wind came blowing into my face when I opened the door. I took a deep breath and continued walking toward my destination, the lake.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~

A/N

Hello! I had some few ideas, so I decided to update this instead of Unexpected(My other fanfic). Hope you liked it and read it comfortably :) If you found any English mistakes don't be shy, and tell me! I'll fix it as fast as I can!

♡ ~ MouseRabbit ~ ♡