Kyuhyun was reading a magazine while walking up to the door of the apartment and so he didn’t notice another person standing in the corridor. But he heard it.

‘Um, hello.’

He looked with irritation from over the article and onto the person. It was the same guy who he was talking to the day before. Without a word he lowered his head again and took out his keys.

‘I see you’ve got the keys to Sungmin’s apartment too…’ Siwon slipped next to him smoothly and Kyuhyun could swear that any moment now and he would be feeling his breath on his shoulder. He really would like to avoid that and the eventual spurts of gel that was glistening on other’s black hair.

He grunted an affirmative reply and put the key in the door to prove that it was really for it. But the guy was still there.

‘Did you get hired through an agency?’ The tall man again inquired and Kyuhyun barely stopped himself from chucking the magazine at the guy and disappearing into the flat. But two things stopped him – his psychologist’s ban of throwing things at people anymore and wanting to read the article until the end, if he flung it at the man it would be all greasy from the fake tan cream his biceps were shining with.

Growling he abruptly turned to face the man and straightened. He noticed that the man was indeed very tall. Scrunching his nose in distaste he replied. ‘No.’

Siwon raised his brow at that. ‘Are you sure you’re just Sungmin’s… housekeeper?’ His voice was so full of innuendos Kyuhyun immediately decided the man was a ert and it would be better to quickly escape.

Unfortunately his tongue was faster than his brain. ‘No, I’m not sure why I’m coming here, he just gave me a key and I come in, stand in one spot for some time until I feel tired and go home. Oh, and he sometimes creeps around the flat too.’

Siwon’s brows shot into his hairline and Kyuhyun almost applauded him for that because that was a really stupid expression he was having.

Shaking his head a little he finally turned back to the door, opened it and walked in once more slamming it into the other’s face. Somehow Kyuhyun's day got a little better when he heard painful whimper.

***

Once again Sungmin asked about cooking dinner and this time Kyuhyun could answer because after he finally entered the contaminated zone and quickly gathered all the trash, along with some burnt beyond use pots and broken plates and mugs, and took them to the trash chute, it turned out that the kitchen wasn’t that bad. But instead of writing his reply he decided to deliver it personally since he heard some movement from behind the bedroom door earlier that day.

He knocked on the door a few times and waited. He already knew that it took Sungmin quite some time to gather his hobo away from whatever he was doing but the man definitely would open the door. He learned it a few times when he knocked and didn’t wait long enough and later got scared less when Sungmin suddenly peeked from around the corner asking what he wanted.

And this time too Kyuhyun heard after some time unmistakable shuffling of feet on the wooden floor behind the door. A moment later door creaked open. Mustering the expression that looked the least disgusted Kyuhyun spoke slowly – apparently his employer needed more time to process real world words into his own one.

‘About the cooking. I think I can try the day after tomorrow after I do the whole kitchen.’

Sungmin blinked before grunting out. ‘Huh?’

‘I mean.’ Kyuhyun understood his mistake when he said try. ‘I can cook after I clean the kitchen. I need two more days.’

There was silence between them for a moment before Sungmin opened the door suddenly and walked past Kyuhyun. He was heading towards the kitchen when he suddenly stopped and turned towards the room.

Kyuhyun was behind him already accustomed to his employer’s haggard looks. Sungmin was as always wearing baggy sweats, this time violet with some pattern, and grey long sleeved v-neck with a hood. It looked expensive and designer and Kyuhyun mourned internally over the rip on the back. Man’s hair was tied up in a small ponytail and the strands that didn’t get caught in the band were sticking around his head, they were greasy and a barber’s nightmare. The thickly rimmed black glasses slid to the middle of the nose and Sungmin was looking from over them.

He was staring at the room in general before he spoke.

‘How long you’ve been working here?’ His voice was as hollow as ever.

‘A little over two weeks.’ Kyuhyun replied after quickly remembering when the first time he dived into the pile of trash was.

‘That was fast…’ The man muttered low and resumed his journey to the kitchen. He peeked into and turned with unreadable expression. When he was on his way back to his room he passed Kyuhyun and stopped beside him. ‘Is everything working there?’ He asked, his eyes fixed on the wall.

‘Don’t know yet, I want to clean everything before I try plugging those things in.’ Kyuhyun made a disgusted face.

The other just hummed and finally disappeared into his bedroom closing the door with a loud thud.

Kyuhyun huffed at that. He was starting to get annoyed with his employer’s attitude. Yeah he didn’t like to talk with people in general and yeah the man was going to pay him a small fortune but being treated like another piece of garbage around that apartment wasn’t exactly enjoyable thing in Kyuhyun's dictionary. He was a genius and he should be treated with respect and care and people should be bowing before him…

He was mumbling such things to himself as he tied his pink apron on and pulled on his pink rubber gloves with daises.

***

Even more than with his absentminded employer, Kyuhyun was annoyed with people that suddenly started to appear in the apartment. Well, not exactly many people, there was just that creepy neighbour who insisted on asking questions on the nature of relationship between Kyuhyun and Sungmin. Even after Kyuhyun went as far as finally speaking a whole sentence to the man consisting of Get lost or I’ll lock you in his kitchen for a week the man was trying to talk to him and was coming at least once a day. And he didn’t even bring food with him anymore, the .

But there appeared another person. The same day that Kyuhyun finally managed to deem the kitchen usable and discovered that all of the devices were miraculously still working. It took him one day longer than he expected, but he didn’t think he would need to spend one whole day scrubbing the fridge and repainting the wall over the stove (he didn’t even want to know what was that red thing spattered there). With an ingredient list for some very easy omelets he went grocery shopping. What he encountered upon coming back wasn’t exactly something one could expect.

He was gaping at the three people that were crowding the entrance to the living room. One of them was obviously very bored Sungmin. He had his hands in his pockets, some piece of candy between his lips and his head was hung, eyes fixed on the ground.

Another one was a woman. Obviously a h00ker. Aside from her very short skirt and flashy make up Kyuhyun was more concerned that her heels might scratch the wooden floor he worked so hard to polish. She was chewing a gum obnoxiously, arms linked on her voluptuous chest that was barely held by the scraps of material she was wearing as a shirt.

The third one was probably a man. Kyuhyun was conflicted about it until the person spoke so at first he could only judge the look. It had red hair, thankfully not puffed up because then Kyuhyun would exit immediately – he didn’t mix well with punks. Dressed all in black with straps and buckles all over the pants and silver studs on the shoulders of his flimsy looking shirt. That… person looked like a more high class h00ker.

When Kyuhyun entered all eyes turned to him and he immediately felt his eye twitch. He really should have played hooky that day, Sungmin wouldn’t notice and he could always tell him he once again lost one day during work. It wouldn’t be the first time. And Kyuhyun wouldn’t have to deal with people that surely seemed tiresome.

‘And you are?’ The red haired person had a manly voice. But still looked like a girl. Quite pretty girl if Kyuhyun were put at the gun’s end and had to admit anything.

‘Housekeeper.’ Kyuhyun said slowly, his eyes traveling from one face to the other of three other people present in the room.

The man uttered ahhhhhhhhh sound before turning to Sungmin. ‘That’s why I didn’t gag. I thought you rather hang yourself on the cord in the studio before allowing anyone to roam around here.’

‘He doesn’t go into studio.’ Sungmin muttered, as always without life.

‘That explains a lot.’ The red-head nodded and propped his hands on his hips.

‘Okay, so do I or any from the three of you? Because I don’t have time for chit-chats.’ H00ker asked with annoyance before she blew a bubble.

Kyuhyun noticed with a corner of his eye that Sungmin raised his hand a little but the red-head quickly took some bills from his pocket and pushed them into the girl’s cleavage.  ‘You go and if he ever calls again don’t come. Goodbye!’

Once the h00ker was pushed out the door Kyuhyun was left only with his employer and that strange red-head person who sighed and turned to Kyuhyun. ‘Name?’

‘Cho Kyuhyun.’ Kyuhyun quickly replied because it seemed that this person had some power. And he knew only of one person that had power over Sungmin.

‘Kim Heechul, Sungmin’s agent.’ The man introduced himself while glaring at Sungmin who was drawing patterns on the floor with his foot not caring in the least about his surroundings.

Kyuhyun was looking for a moment at both men before he simply decided to go about his own tasks. He walked around them and to the kitchen.

‘Are you sure it’s safe?’ Heechul’s voice reached him from the door since the man didn’t enter the room.

Kyuhyun didn’t even grace him with look, only when he heard steps in the kitchen he threw a look around. Sungmin was walking around and looking all over the place.

‘Ahhh… my kitchen.’ The man said simply, his eyes roaming the cabinets.

Rolling his eyes Kyuhyun pursed his lips and decided to keep whatever he wanted to say to himself. He swiftly placed all the things in their respective places. When he was satisfied with how everything fit he took out a frying pan and bowl and before long he was already mixing the ingredients. He didn’t care about other people observing his actions.

‘You cook?’ Heechul asked after daring to walk into kitchen and leaning on the counter there. Sungmin was still looking around with absentminded expression.

Kyuhyun scrunched his nose before replying. ‘Kinda…’ He was saying the truth because for sure he was more capable than Donghae, at least he could cook rice.

He didn’t see the nod Heechul gave him before going out of the kitchen. Sungmin remained and was looking at the frying pan from some distance. Kyuhyun was already used to his employer creeping around the corners of the house so didn’t even feel bothered by other’s presence. Until Sungmin spoke.

‘I can cook too.’ Was the sole thing that left his lips. Kyuhyun half turned and threw the other doubtful expression. Somehow Stinky was able to decipher its meaning. ‘I can. But I forget about it…’ He looked at the wall that Kyuhyun repainted as if remembering something.

Shaking his head a little Kyuhyun poured the mixture onto the pan. ‘I’m making just omelets today because I… need to remember how to make things.’ He lied a little. He needed to search for easy recipes first before he went on and tried to be the next master chef.

‘I like them.’ Sungmin said in his soft and barely audible voice, obviously already lost in his own world. Kyuhyun still didn’t know what the man was doing for a living but for sure it didn’t demand of him to be conscious of his surrounding much.

Suddenly Heechul came back to the kitchen, a huge smirk on his face stating satisfaction. ‘I assume you cleaned all that, put everything in drawers, washed and stuff?’

‘No, dwarfs did it, I just waved my magic wand…’ Kyuhyun murmured but was sure the other male heard him.

He couldn’t see the surprised, and angry, expression on the man’s face. But Heechul calculated something in his head and his face calmed down. A little.

‘Listen you brat. From today on you’re in charge of reminding the stinking ball of disgust here to bathe, eat and exercise – otherwise he’ll turn into a large version of bowling ball – aside from all the things you’re already doing. Of course paying the bills is included, I hope that he told you that.’ Heechul looked at Sungmin who was smelling his t-shirt and mumbling something like it’s not stinking yet before rolling his eyes and going back to Kyuhyun. ‘Also I’ll send you a copy of his schedule and you’ll have to remind him about places he needs to be, calls he needs to return, samples he needs to test, reviews he needs to submit - I have other clients and can’t only take care of him.’ The red-head fished out a phone from the endless pockets on his pants and stuck it under Kyuhyun's nose. ‘Punch in your number so I can call you.’

Kyuhyun was looking with astonishment at the man. Because how could that person talk to him like that. He wasn’t even the one paying him. Huffing, Kyuhyun slapped the hand with phone away. ‘I’m here to just clean and cook, do I look like his nanny to you?’

‘Yes, you do, judging from the way you folded his clothes and arranged shampoos in the shower.’ Heechul once again pushed the phone towards Kyuhyun who took it with a growl and put in his number. When the man was already going out Kyuhyun stopped him.

‘What does he exactly do?’ He asked while observing how Sungmin walked up to the curtains and started to them while looking surprised.

Heechul smirked and folded hands on his chest before replying with a smug expression.

‘This guy there, brat, is the most sought after composer and lyricist right now. A gold mine – regardless of how he looks.’ He added in an afterthought probably noticing huge stain on the man’s sweats.

When Heechul was already out and Sungmin was seated at the table and devouring omelets Kyuhyun decided that he was in some hidden camera show.

***

Look out for h00kers,

 at least once a week

I get a call from the

guard downstairs about

them coming up. He

can have all he

wants outside of the

apartment but some of

them steal and only

I can rob him off the

 money his songs bring.

So do something about them too

As Kyuhyun was scrolling down to read the whole message his brows were furrowing further. Before he read who signed the message he already had a feeling he knew. Of course it was Sungmin’s agent because the last, and truthfully only, time Kyuhyun was in a situation that involved a h00ker was including both Sungmin and Heechul. Kim Heechul. The man was getting on his nerves worse than Donghae pampering himself out before a date for three hours in the bathroom.

Kyuhyun's eye twitched at the memory of his comb all sticky from some gel or other hair spray and glitter spread on the sink. And there was no visible sign of any glitter on Donghae when he emerged from the bathroom so Kyuhyun didn’t even want to know where he used it.
And he knew girls used it to make their s seem bigger.

Muttering to himself in irritation Kyuhyun threw some cartons with juice into his basket and proceeded towards the dairy section. After cooking some simple dishes for Sungmin he noticed the man liked white cheese and milk. He searched some recipes with white cheese and was astounded how easy those dishes were to make, he wouldn’t have to put so much effort whenever he wouldn’t feel like it and Sungmin obviously liked his cooking since it was taking him only one knock on the door during the meal time lure the composer out of his hole.

At the register he double checked his lists – the one for Sungmin’s apartment and the one for his own food. He found out that making list of what he needed was really convenient, he spent less time in the shop staring at the shelves and racking his brain trying to remember what he was missing. Finally whenever he was roaming around his fridge and cabinets he always had everything he needed. Now he only needed to get rid of Donghae stealing his food.

His friend was getting more annoying than usually. He was asking how he was feeling all the time, constantly brewing him herbal tea – which he was already reacting with nausea to – and setting him appointments in some clinic. Kyuhyun knew that his hyung was overprotective and caring but he didn’t know he was a middle aged fussing ahjumma. He started to consider moving to the living room to sleep and locking the door for the night in case Hae decided to perform his own examination.

With a shudder Kyuhyun passed the credit card to the cashier who glared at him thinking that he probably found him disgusting. Well, normally Kyuhyun would if it was a few weeks earlier – then he was finding all people disgusting. But in comparison to Sungmin who didn’t bath for the whole weekend the rest of the humankind seemed sterile.

Not sparing another glance to the cashier Kyuhyun grabbed his bags and headed towards his apartment to drop off his grocery before going to work. After all the cleaning he did one would think that there wouldn’t be much to do around there anymore, but after Heechul mailed him the whole schedule for Sungmin he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep up with it.

‘Kyu!’

Kyuhyun halted and immediately his shoulder’s stiffened. He knew that voice. He knew it all too well.

‘Kyu! Ahhh, finally caught you!’ A quite short man ran up to him and bent panting. ‘Give me a sec…’

Kyuhyun considered escaping, it would be quite easy, he would just need to knock the man out as he was in a very vulnerable position. But then there would go one of the few people who still tolerated his insults and snarky personality. He knew he couldn’t afford that if he wanted to have someone he could leech off like he did with Donghae.

‘What do you want Ryeowook?’ He asked as nicely as he could.

The man beamed at him and threw an arm around his shoulders although it looked quite comical considering Kyuhyun was so much taller.

‘I haven’t been seeing much of you lately, my wallet feels lonely.’ The male teased making Kyuhyun growl. ‘I heard you got a job!’

‘You’re not getting your money back.’ Kyuhyun growled out and quickened his pace but of course the other male followed.

‘I wouldn’t dream of it! Just wanted to congratulate you, apparently you developed some social skills, hyung told me you’re a house help for some rich guy.’ The chatterbox wasn’t stopping and Kyuhyun was wondering if it was really worth it keeping the guy as his friend. But probably it was already too late, if his previous behavior didn’t scare the man away probably nothing else could.

‘I don’t really need any social skills to work there.’ He mumbled out. ‘He’s a hermit and there are days I don’t see him at all until I call him to eat.’

Ryeowook gaped at him for a moment before chuckling. ‘Well, there are that kind of people too. As long as it pays.’ He made a thoughtful face and nodded to himself. ‘Anyway, if you’ll have weekend off call me, me and my band are performing every Friday in the bar close to your place and I can treat you to some free meal there while we’re on stage.’ He winked and patted his friend’s back.

Kyuhyun didn’t reply and soon Ryeowook run off to bother someone else he saw walking nearby. He wasn’t sure how did it happen that he became friends with that guy but decided to leave it as one of the universe’s mysteries. Ryeowook was only a few months older than he and also lot shorter but he was acting like a hyung to him. Being the awkward social turtle that he was, Kyuhyun decided to just leave it and go with the flow, it was too much of a bother to fight it.

***

He was again reading the message he received from Heechul as he was stirring the soup. He was trying another one of the easy recipes, this time found in the magazine left in his apartment by one of Donghae's flames. The girl was probably already long forgotten in the mass that his loose flatmate dated this one year only. But her magazine, which he found under Hae’s bed when he was trying to clean the floor a little since he really couldn’t look at it anymore for some reason, proved to be very helpful.

But coming back to the message. Kyuhyun had to do something about the h00kers. He was working there already three weeks and beside that one time he never met any other. But if Heechul was saying it was a problem he had no reasons not to believe. Thinking about the first day Sungmin showed him around the apartment Kyuhyun remembered the ion station the man had next to the bed. Yes, Sungmin definitely needed control in that aspect.

Scrunching his brow Kyuhyun threw carrots into the pot and put a cover over it. How should he address the problem…

A thought crossed his mind… he probably shouldn’t. But the man wasn’t a public figure. No one would probably take a huge interest in it. And companion agencies probably had to keep their clients information confidential…

Shrugging, Kyuhyun came up to the bedroom door and knocked a few times. He had to wait only a short time for Sungmin’s head to poke from the small opening.

‘Food?’ Composer asked, his eyes fixed on the table. Despite his face being mostly emotionless it was still obvious he felt disappointed not seeing any food there.

‘No, in about half an hour.’ Kyuhyun relied. He sniffed and flinched. ‘Before you eat, you need to take a bath.’

Sungmin scrunched his nose a little and was about to close the door when Kyuhyun put a hand on it and stopped it. ‘Can I get contact numbers to all h00ker/companion/ agencies you always call?’

Sungmin was looking at him darkly from over his glasses. He pouted which didn’t look good with all the stumble growing around the lips. In a moment, a phone got placed in Kyuhyun's hand and door got shut into his face.

Shaking his head Kyuhyun went slowly to the living room area and sat down on the armrest of the couch. The phone didn’t have any lock so he had no troubles with figuring out how to work it. He quickly opened the phone book and wondered how on earth he should start his search through the hundreds of contacts his employer obviously had when he scrolled to the letter H.

Raising his brow Kyuhyun scrolled down the list.

h00ker#1

h00ker#2

h00ker#3

h00ker#4

h00ker#5

h00ker#6

h00ker#7

h00ker#8

h00ker#9
 

For the most sought after composer and lyricist the man had no imagination in naming something other people would find embarrassing. Taking a big breath Kyuhyun picked the first on the list and pressed the call button.

***

‘Herpes?’

Kyuhyun was cradling his phone between his shoulder and ear while balancing a tray with instant noodles and glass of coke.

‘But it worked.’ He replied after setting the tray on the table in front of the TV. Cleaning it of all the unnecessary papers and bottles and cans was a really good idea, he could finally eat and watch TV without spilling things all over himself. Why didn’t he think about that before…

‘But herpes?’ Heechul asked again, but his voice wasn’t angry. ‘Okay, it did work. One agency called me even to stop ordering from them for some of my associates, they think it spreads with wind apparently.’

‘Good. Goodnight.’ And Kyuhyun hung up and threw his phone behind himself.

***

‘I don’t have herpes.’

That was Sungmin’s greeting the next day. Kyuhyun raised his brow at his employer who was leaning against the doorframe to his bedroom obviously sulking. He must have tried calling one of the agencies, maybe even a new one, but news like that spread like… well, herpes.

‘The point is they think you do. Don’t you have work?’ Kyuhyun knew he was starting to be insolent but Sungmin obviously didn’t care about that. He tied the apron on his back, he had to do the cleaning again, the dust and dirt were settling impossibly fast everywhere.

Sungmin sighed and looked at his hand for a moment before turning around and shutting the door. He opened them for a moment again. ‘Nice apron, Daisy.’ And shut them again.

Kyuhyun threw the wiping cloth to the wall next to the door.