The gods up there must have wanted me to wake up from this madness I succumbed into for the past weeks and I put the blame to the enticing man who lived with me.

Reality hit me big time as the cold Prince who gives off smiles to anyone as rare as the blue moon stood at my doorstep; smiling brightly and calling out my name. He smiles for me, only for me. This is probably the sole reason I never brought myself to break it off with him. He singles out his actions for me. He did things that he only did because it was for me and that made me feel so special and loved. I was a Princess, his Princess.

I know I was awkwardly frozen before him but I can’t make myself move or at least speak. I was taken out from my momentary stillness when he spoke again, “Yanna, I missed you,” and before I knew it, I was tightly wrapped in his arms.

“I…ugh…missed you…too,” was the only decent thing my stupid tiny brain came up.

“I’m sorry…” he apologized.

“For what?” though I perfectly know what he was sorry for.

“For being a crap of a boyfriend, for making you wait all the time and for missing out your graduation, it was a special day for you…” I have heard this from him god knows how many times already but it still feels sad each time.

“I do-…” before I can even tell him I do understand him like I always do, another voice called out my name.

“Yanna,” Heechul emerged from the short and narrow hallway of the entrance.

“Uhmmm… I have to tell you something,” I pressed my hands against Kibum’s chest and stared at him.

“You have company?” Kibum asked with an accusing frown. There goes my peaceful little life.

I grabbed Kibum’s wrist and ushered him to pass the door and waited for his reaction. His eyes widened as he saw who my company was.

“Heechul Hyung?” he softly uttered. Heechul on the other hand looked rather calm. How can he be this calm when all my nous is in turmoil? Damn.

“Who is he, Yanna? Is he one of my friends too?”

Kibum snapped his head to throw me an unreadable expression.

“Don’t get the wrong idea! Let me explain first, okay?” I immediately told Kibum because I just saw his jaw tightened and his fist clenched.

I introduced Kibum to the child-man and suggested that he should go back to watching TV and lead Kibum to the kitchen to start explaining what happened. Well, of course, less the stuff Heechul and I did; telling him that would be totally outrageous. I don’t have the heart to hurt Kibum that way. So I made a mental promise that I will let secrecy serve its purpose.

He seemed to need a little while to absorb everything I just told him as he just remained quiet and still an unreadable expression painted in his face. I dropped my head and fiddled with my fingers on my lap.

“You mean you are the Yanna that the manager told me about? It sounded weird to me but I never imagined it could actually be you,” I abruptly sat up straight just in time to see Kibum shaking his head in disbelief.

In the span of 8months I’ve been with Kibum; within the sporadic days and weeks he was able to spend with me, I constantly tried to avoid arguing with him. I didn’t like how he acts whenever we argue. In all honesty, I’m slightly scared of Kibum. It’s as if he’s a walking bomb, ready to explode anytime. He would always look at me stoically that puts up a barrier between us making it a challenge for me to decipher what’s going on in his mind.  And I hated it, it was as if he was always prepared to yell and beat me up violently.

“What? You just lost the ability to send a freaking text message, Yanna?” he finally snapped after the excruciating silence.  Upon hearing him lose his temper, I began feeling small. This is exactly what I feared.

“I…ugh…I wanted to…” I stuttered.

“You wanted to but what?” he whispered and seized my arm, clasping it harder and sorefully buried his nails into my skin. Now here goes the beating up part, conclusively he had this capability and the mind to physically hurt me.

“You’re…hurting me…” I tried to shove his hand off me but he just too strong.

“You wanted to send me a message but decided not to because another guys is keeping you company already, huh?” he tugged my arm, and was forcefully removed from my seat. My arm ached but his words pierced me more painfully. Partly, he was right. I cheated on him and I can’t put myself into regretting it, making me feel ed up all the more.

“Answer me!” he loudly said. From the corner of my eye, I saw Heechul look in our way and stiffened.

“Please…please don’t shout,” I whispered my plea. My worry for the startled child-man resurfaced covering my sudden fright from my angry boyfriend.

He sighed and now annoyance filled his face. He lets go of my arm and his hand went into his lap. I stayed still in silence, looking at his thumb tapping his thigh.

“Please? I just wanted to help. At least try to understand as much I tried to understand you, I’m sorry…” I somehow harbored a little bit of courage and defended myself.

“I knew you didn’t mean anything bad, Yanna, so don’t be sorry,” his expression softened and reached for my hand. “Look, I’m sorry I lost my temper. I just didn’t like the idea that he lives here with you, it makes me crazy,” he continued and fondled the area he hardly constricted a while ago.

“He needed me Kibum, I just wanted to him help him get back his memories. He had a really tough time. I’m guessing he was assaulted by some people and he is definitely traumatized,” I reasoned out hoping it could flatten out his striking anger.

“But still…I don’t want him here Yanna, it’s just it doesn’t seem right, try understanding me some more,”

“So what do you suggest?” I asked. Just like our previous arguments, I’ll let him have his way.

“I’ll have talk to manager about this, you go and explain to Heechul Hyung, I’m sure he’ll be able to understand,” he suggested.

“I don’t know how he’ll take this but I’ll try…” I mumbled.

“Everything will go back to how it used to be, Yanna. It’ll all be alright,” he placed a kiss on the back of my hand and pressed his phone in his ear as he made his way to the door.

I once again froze just thinking about my bipolar boyfriend’s suggestion. Agreeing to this would mean Heechul will leave. I always knew I’d have to face the reality that he would eventually leave my home but not like this, not too soon. I tilted my head to look at the ceiling and fight the urge to shed tears. “This is the right thing to do and this is how it’s supposed to be,” I kept repeating it in my head like a mantra as I approached Heechul.

“How is he Yanna? Is he also a member?” Heechul innocently asked.

“Yes, he is…he’s the same age as Wookie and Kyuhyun…” I gave him a small smile as I sat beside him in the sofa.

“Oww…I see…Are you okay? You look troubled,” he mumbled and turned to look at the TV.

“I’m fine, Heechul…I-I need to tell you something and I want you to listen to me carefully,” I circled my hand around his arm.

“Hmm?” he uninterestingly hummed.

“Uhhh…Kibum is my…boyfriend…long before I met you…We kept our relationship in secret that’s why I didn’t get to know the others before, even you…” I hardly began.

“Y-you…he’s…He’s the boyfriend you were talking about?” he shifted sideways and faced me; now, I got his attention.

“Ugh…yes…he is…I didn’t tell you because you won’t recognize him anyway and I still want to keep our relationship hidden,” I explained.

“Ow-okay…” he frowned and looked away.

“And I-ah…it’s only fair for…Kibum that you stop staying here with me…you do know that my relationship with him is still rocky, I don’t want to shake it some more. I want everything between us to work out,” I didn’t know how those words came out from my mouth because it was surely painful for me to say. It wasn’t true and it felt so wrong but damn it, that was the right thing to do.

“So…you want me to leave?” he pinpointed.

“As much as I want to keep you here, I can’t and this is the right thing Heechul and I’m very sure that you’ll be fine without me. It’s about time you try facing your fears…your members are all there for you,” I bit my lower lip hoping that the pending tears wouldn’t proceed with falling.

Heechul remained silent and gave me the time to weigh his reaction. I don’t know how he will take this but to my shock, “Alright, Yanna, if this setting is making you uncomfortable, I’ll leave…” he said to me with a smile on his face. Oh my god. I can’t believe he’s accepting this, is he really the child-man I patiently raised?

“But, you should promise you’ll come by to visit…” he continued raising his index finger. He gave me a smile and that made me believe that everything’s gonna be alright.

“I will…I’ll surely will…” I promised him. Heechul coolly agreeing to this just took my sadness to a higher level. My child-man matured and he’s doing this because of me.

In about half an hour, the manager came and it was time. He’s definitely leaving. I was at our room (now, it’ll gonna go back to MY room) packing his stuff back into his luggage. The memory when he firstly came into my condo flashed into my consciousness. It wasn’t a really a good sight but for me it was a memory worth keeping.

“Remember to take your medications on time and don’t go out all by yourself, kay? If you need anything, call the manager or ask for someone else’s help. Don’t be shy around them, hmm? You’re the Hyung in the dorm...so don’t hesitate asking the younger ones for favors…hmm?” I unconsciously rambled out, still trying to fight the tendencies of crying.

“Yes Ma’am!” he gleefully replied as he zipped his luggage into place.

“About what happened…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone Yanna…I’m not like that! I’ll take it as our own dirty little secret…everyone has one. I understand you Yanna, you don’t have to explain. What we had was exquisite and special; let me keep it as a wonderful memory. And please, let me keep you too, as a friend at the very least.” he cut me off as if he knew what I meant.

“Of course! I’ll be your friend…” I smiled at him and my hand just automatically ruffled his hair.

He picked up his luggage. He spread his lips beautifully and waved goodbye to the kneeling form above the bed which is me and finally headed for the door. I heard noises from outside the room; the manager probably said something to Heechul, Kibum too. The doorknob clicked and Kibum peeked into the room.

“You okay Babe?” he inquired. I could only nod.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Yanna… I’ll make it up to you, as I promised…okay?” he strode towards me and leaned in to give my temples a peck. I grinned at him and nodded once more.

“I’m so sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to-…”

“I’m fine…I know you didn’t mean it. You said everything’s gonna be alright, didn’t you? It’ll be…so go ahead…I’ll see you tomorrow…” I gave him a weak smile and brushed my cheeks to the back of his hand.

He left my room and I meekly listened to the mild noises from the other side of the wall and then I finally heard the door outside click. Just like that, Kibum left my condo and so as Heechul, my gentle and arrogant child-man.

Author says:

All the drama huh?

I ask forgiveness from the shippers of Kibum.

He's become some sort of a badass here.

It was hard for me writing it this way too,

but this is the story.

I'll keep updating after I get my sleep.

I love all my readers and subscribers...

Please keep reading and commenting!

Please please follow me on twitter @07Laira2013

and let's spazz about lot's of things.

Keep safe Yeorobun! ♥