Your fingertips across my skin,

The palm trees swaying in the wind.. images

You sang me Spanish lullabies.

The sweet sadness in your eyes.. clever trick

The snow wouldn’t stop falling over the night sky. The apartment was dark, save a few candles in the bedroom. There were two empty glasses on the coffee table, with an open bottle of red wine. Two people were rolling on the bed, playing around.

“I told you to stop tickling me, Baek!” The woman said, as she got on top of him.

She pushed her silky hair backwards, and seized his wrists. Baekhyun frowned, and then let out a heavy sigh. There were light traces of a past scar around his left temple.

“Yul …I have t tell you something.” He spoke with seriousness, much to Yuri’s displeasure.

“What is it?” She asked, but suddenly, she didn’t want to know any longer.

She was afraid of he might tell her.

Baekhyun sighed once again, and pushed Yuri off of him, to get on the bed, next to her. He ran a hand through messy, brown hair, and sighed deeply, as he tried to find the right words.

“We should stop seeing each other.” Baekhyun said with a frown.

Yuri stared at him blankly. Did he really say that? Sure, they weren’t together, but… She still felt hurt by his words.

“Why?” She found the necessary strength to at least ask him that.

“Yoong and I will shortly move together. And, as you know, she has issues. I really like you, Yul, but I can’t end things with her…” He said pleadingly.

Yuri scoffed and got off the bed. She ran a hand through her hair and blew out air. She had enough of his excuses.

“Issues? I wonder about that. I start to think that it’s quite a good thing that she’s rich and that her parents beg you to marry her. Issues, even if she’d have, that’d be no problem for you at all.” Yuri spat and stormed out of his bedroom.

She took her coat and purse, and kicked on her boots. She was about to leave, when Baekhyun caught up to her.

“Wait. At least... let me take you home.” He was already looking for his own coat.

“No need. I know my way home. Besides, you won’t be dropping by ever again.” Yuri opened the door. “Oh, and have a happy life with Yoona and her issues.” She said, and got out of his apartment, slamming the door after her.

Her first love... was it going to end like that?

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy

I thought you’d want the same for me

Yuri got to know Baekhyun in her second year of university. He was already in his last. Once, a boy who was a commune friend introduced Baekhyun to her. She liked him from the first moment. Who wouldn’t? Baekhyun was handsome, smart, had good manners and was a great guy overall.

They continued to meet, but neither showed interest. Eventually, the inevitable happened. Baekhyun confessed. But things weren’t going smoothly, because he was already dating Yoona. Although Yuri knew about it from the beginning, her relationship with Baekhyun wasn’t going to be that extraordinary. She knew. He was going to be just another guy. How wrong she had been.

“Stupid Bacon...!” Yuri said frustrated and took another spoonful of ice-cream.

Late January. Yuri sat on her couch, wrapped in a blanket, and watched Gossip Girl. She refused to cry, although she had plenty of reasons. One of them being that Baekhyun was her first, and probably her last.

“Damn!” She groaned, and filled with her favorite strawberry-flavored ice-cream once again. “Stupid Blair, can’t you see that you’re everything to Chuck?! Unlike someone else..”

No relationship could compare to that of Chuck and Blair’s, but Yuri and Baekhyun were close, they were real. Or so she imagined them. They were almost lovers.. Though, Yoona was still good enough to be with him, while Yuri wasn’t. And that thought killed her. Why would he stay with a woman who was mentally ill? Did he.. love Yoona that much? Was Yuri really that insignificant?

The phone rang. Yuri didn’t flinch. She wasn’t home. Nobody was. Not now. Not ever. From the last ring, it was sent to voicemail.

“Yul, it’s Mother.” Yuri’s whole body froze. “Yul, it’s been almost a year since you came home. We miss you. Just so you know, we don’t blame you for what happened. We know it was an accident. Mother knows, Father understands. Stop blaming yourself, and return home.”

Yuri buried herself under the blanket, and covered her ears. Who was that woman again? Whose mother was she? She didn’t know any of that, but what she did, was that, in a fit of fury, she got up, and stomped over to the phone. She picked it up hastily.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m not blaming myself with anything! I haven’t done anything. So, leave me alone! Won’t you?!” Yuri screamed in the phone, and then threw it across the room, into a wall.

The device shred to pieces.

She grabbed her hair, prepared to pull at it, or scream out. Her chest hurt. She tried to breathe, but couldn’t. It was as if air stopped entering her lungs. Something stung her heart, like the many times before, and she had no idea what was it about. Her head started aching as well. It was a huge amount of pain, tearing her head in two. She wanted to crack her skull open, just for the pain to go away.

Then, as sudden as it came, the pain died away.

Yuri remained stretched on her floor, flat on her back. She covered her eyes with the back of her palms, and she tried her best to keep the tears in. There was no use, because they rolled down her cheeks anyway.

“Why can’t I just die?!” She cried out to anyone who’d be willing to listen.

Only.. there was no one. But the dark itself.

Goodbye, my almost lover,

 Goodbye my hopeless dream

I’m trying not to think about you,

Can’t you just let me be?

She looked at the huge shopping center, and still had her doubts about going in.

“Come one, Yul. There’s no need to feel down, because of a jerk like him!” One of her best friends, Sooyoung stated, as she tried to comfort her.

“She’s right. Shopping always makes you feel better.” Her other friend, Sulli said, as she pulled at her arm.

“Don’t be like that and let’s go!” Jessica, her third friend suggested.

Yuri didn’t fancy the idea that much, though.

“You and Siwon are about to get married.” Yuri pointed at Sooyoung. “Donghae is a gentleman, as always.” She looked at Jessica. “And I have to be stupid to say something bad about Ryeowook. So, of course you’d never cry about relationships.”

Yuri’s friends sighed in unison. But they still forced her in the mall.

The girls had actually a good time. They searched the shops, bought clothes and shoes and accessories, and so the Saturday morning went by. They also received a lot of attention from men; how could they not? They were four gorgeous ladies, looking hot as hell.

They were headed to a shop to buy coffee, when someone cut their way. The girls couldn’t even respond, because Yuri woke up with hot chocolate poured over her head. It burned her skin, but, when she looked at the one who did that, she was raging! The burn was nothing, compared to that.

The woman was petite, with feminine features, milky skin, and long, wavy brown hair, and big, brown eyes.

“Yoona..” Yuri narrowed her eyes at her.

“And you dare to step out in the world? After seducing my lover?!” Yoona growled with fury.

“You little-“ Sooyoung stepped forward, and was about to slap her.

But someone caught her wrist at the last minute. Yuri was on the verge of crying. It was unfair. People like Yoona always had someone to protect her. Yuri was defenseless, left alone by herself. Loveless.

Baekhyun. The one. Her one and only.

“I’m sorry.” He bowed slightly, and stepped between Yoona and the girls.

Yuri’s friends all made faces. Yuri couldn’t feel anything, not even the burn of the beverage. She said nothing, but brushed past her friends and Baekhyun, and went to the bathroom.

“Jerk.” Jessica said out loud, as she walked by.

Of course, it was only natural that Baekhyun protects Yoona. He always would. Even when he was with Yuri, he would always mention Yoona. How pretty she was, how nice she was, how perfect she was. Along the way, she got to a point where she loathed her.

And, as much as she wanted to feel that way towards Baekhyun too, somehow, she couldn’t. No matter what, hating Baekhyun was.. impossible.

So long, my luckless romance,

My back is you

Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache,

Almost lovers always do

“So, Yuri, are you feeling better?” The doctor, a young and nice woman asked her.

Yuri nodded lifelessly. She had been staring at the doctor’s nameplate for quite a while, but couldn’t see the name. Strangely, it was empty. Was it supposed to be a mind game?

“Tell me.” The doctor said with a small smile.

“I..” She began, but her voice was dry. “I’m not afraid to ride the bus any longer. But I still can’t get in a cab, or the left, nor the underground. “ Yuri spoke mechanically, not even looking at the medic, but at the plate.

Why was it empty? Was it.. empty?

“Oh. Then it’s good. What about your home? When will you put back the doors?”

Yuri shrugged. She was out of it. Although she had weekly therapy, it didn’t really help her. She had claustrophobia. Ever since the accident, from a few years ago. She was driving, and there was someone with her. She couldn’t remember who, though. When did the letters on the plate appear? What was her name again?

Baekhyun once stopped by her, and asked about the lack of doors. She just shrugged it off. She couldn’t read the letters.

“Then, I’ll write weaker pills, since you seem to make progress.” The medic began.

“No!” Yuri shouted alarmed, surpising both of them. “No.. Although I’m recovering,