Main Pairing: none

Ninjas: SECRET

Warning: Stupidity at its best; Puppy!Guk

Side Note: SECRET will be trying to help B.A.P gain their sanity and their own sanity 

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It was one normal day at the B.A.P dorms where in a certain Appa and a certain Umma were chasing each other around normally. "YAH KIM HIMCHAN GIVE ME BACK MY TIGGER BOXERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD YOU TIGGER ADDICT!!" yes,yes this is very normal in the B.A.P dorms.........Stupidity is normal in B.A.P's dictionary.....but I bet you all know that B.A.P are one of the dorkiest KPOP boygroups out there right?! "YAH! KIM.HIM.CHAN!" a blend between a shrill and husky voice boomed through out the dorm making Daehyun drop his cheesecake, Youngjae fall down the stairs, Jongup miss a step and lands on his , BabyJello bump his head on the cupboard, and BangHim running into a wall after hearing SECRET's leader Jeon Hyosung's in command voice. 

"MY CHEESECAKE!!!!!!!!!!!" Daehyun said and kneeled by his food and started wheeping "I vow to you my love I will never replace you with any other cheesecake!!!!!" "Daehyun get a grip and eat this homemade double white chocolate cheesecake I made" Sunhwa said after getting through Hyosung lecturing Himchan like always and Yongguk chit chatting with Zinger and Jieun. Daehyun looked down at the fallen cheesecake and quickly grabbed the container with Sunhwa's homemade cheesecake and started scarfing the food after muttering "ah screw it! Sunhwa noona's baking and cooking are irresitable". Sunhwa rolled her eyes at the glutton of B.A.P before shouting a quick "YOO YOUNGJAE GET YO FAT IN THE KITCHEN NOW!" and started cleaning the mess the Busan Won Bin made. Youngjae came in slipping and sliding into the kitchen and stood in attention saluting Sunhwa before saying "Yoo Youngjae Reporting for Duty Ma'am!" Sunhwa once again rolled her eyes and threw a used rag at the fluffy one's face while muttering "pure idiots" and continued washing the plates Himchan might've forgotten to wash after deciding to chase Yongguk around.

Hyosung and Himchan on the other hand were currently arguing about who's more of an air head between Sunhwa and Jongup. "I say Jongup is more of an air head that Sunhwa" Hyosung said while staring at the said boy limping towards the kitchen where most of them are only to bump into a wall and roll back to where he came from. Himchan rolled his eyes and said confidently with his loud voice of his "NO! HAN SUNHWA IS MORE OF AN AIR HEAD THAN JONGUP!*gets bricked* OWWWW!" Jieun glared at Himchan after throwing a random brick she found on the table before hugging Sunhwa and said "DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BABY THAT WAY!!!!!" "oh boy SongUmma is activated" Yongguk said after successufly ducking the wooden spoon hurled towards him (courtesy of Jieun) and quickly hid somewhere safe to avoid SongUmma's slight wrath. 

While SongUmma was having one of her moments, HyoGums and HimDerp were simply watching them with wide eyes and decided to separate to do their own thing, Hyosung calming down her "wife" and Himchan finding his Tigger crazed hubby. "Jieun-ah relax!" Hyosung said after managing to get Jieun to sit down beside the now more terrified BabyJello and rubbed soothing circles on her back. Jieun sighed and leaned more on Hyosung's hands before saying "thanks eonnie! I really have no idea what I'll do without you" and hugged Hyosung. Hyosung smiled and pecked her cheek before sitting down beside her while holding Jieun's hands "you're welcome" Daehyun, Zinger and Sunhwa gagged at the sickening sight and said "you two are worse than BangHim!!!!" the umma and appa of SECRET glared at the three, making them cower in fear, before threatening the gluttons of both groups that they'll take away their food if they won't continue eating. The "Always Hungry Trio" quickly started stuffing their faces with the food prepared by Youngjae, Jieun and Sunhwa after hearing the words "Take" and "Away".

While the others were eating and arguing, Himchan finally found Yongguk in the bathroom hugging his knees and his Tigger plushie to his chest like a scared child in the bathtub and cooed at the rarely cute side of his husband. "Aww~! you have no idea how adorable you look right now Gukkie~!" he said after closing the door behind him locking it in the process before proceeding to where his too cute to be true hubby was curled up at. "Channie~?" Yongguk asked in his rare soft voice. Himchan smiled and awwed silently at Yongguk before deciding to sit beside him in their huge bathtub"Yes Gukkie~?" Himchan responded. Yongguk looked at him with kicked puppy expression and said "Jieun scares me! when will they leave?" Himchan resisted the urge to pinch the slightly older, but adorable, male afraid to scare him more and said "well that will be until the stupidity emmiting from our kids die down" Yongguk nodded and curled up beside Himchan and hugged his plushie more before saying "is Jieunnie still raging? cuz i dun wanna face a medusa like SongJiJi" Himchan chuckled at his cuteness and hugged him closer before saying "I bet Hyosung noona won't let her wife go out of hand" "oh okay then" Himchan pondered on his decision for a while and nodded and pulled Yongguk away slightly only to see a more kicked puppy expression on his lover's face and quickly pecked his lips before asking "do you feel better enough to go back out?" Yongguk gulp and took Himchan's hand after the smaller male got up and nodded releasing a small "eung~!" while getting out of the tub after Himchan and made their way out of the bathroom.

Meanwhile, SECRET and the rest of the B.A.P members are currently in the living room playing spin the bottle. "Yah Junhong-ah it's your turn" Sunhwa said "oh uhm okay I pick truth" upon hearing the maknae's answer, Sunhwa smirked evilly and said "DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT HAVE WITH JONGUP?!" JongLo started staring at the Busan Kim Taehee with an owl expression not knowing what to say. Just as the maknae line were about to answer her question, a fuming Himchan umma came into view with Yongguk's bat and the owner trailing behind him like a lost puppy while still cluching onto his Tigger plushie. Jieun saw how Yongguk looked like and instantly squealed like an excited mother seeing her youngest son in the cutest attire and made her way to Yongguk hugging the life out of him. Yongguk squaked at the extream strength Jieun has and started whimpering like a frightened puppy. Youngjae fangirled at his cute puppy like leader and started hitting Daehyun and Zinger's thighs continuously making the two yelp in pain. "YAH! YOO YOUNGJAE STOP HARRASSING MINE AND HANA NOONA'S THIGHS!!!!!!!!" "YOUNGJAE YOU PABO! STOP HITTING ME AND JUST HIT DAEHYUN!!!!" the two Jungs shouted at the still fangirling Youngjae. "oh my cheesecake Gukkie hyung is so cute!!!!!!" the said person is now whimpering non-stop while Jieun, the source of his whimpering, drags him in the middle of her and Hyosung. "aww~! Bang Yongguk you will be the death of me~!" Hyosung practically squealed before pinching the now traumatized Yongguk's cheeks. Yongguk desperately tried to find Himchan only to see him chasing Sunhwa and Daehyun around the whole dorm with a bat and a rabid bunny expression on his face. Yongguk would've laughed if he weren't so traumatized by the two girls cooing and man handling him "u-uhm c-could y-you t-two p-p-ple-e-eas-se s-stop?" Yongguk tried to ask in his normal deep voice only to epicly fail and end up saying it softly making HyoEun fangirl more. Yongguk mentally dug a very deep hole under him and hid there to avoid the traumatizing girls from further mentally abusing him.

After 30 more rounds of chasing the two Busan Idiots, Himchan gave up and just threw the bat towards the two successfully hitting Daehyun in the balls making him have this expression 

(credits to the owner ^-^)

and curl up into a ball while saying "MY BAWLZ!! OH MY AWESOME BAWLZ!!!!!!!" making Sunhwa laugh and run away from him and Himchan. Himchan managed to keep his face straight and dragged the now semi-concious Daehyun to the living room only to be greeted by Youngjae, Zelo, Jieun and Hyosung harrassing his poor PuppyGukkie and facepalmed. "I leave you for not more that 15mins and you already let yourself get harrassed by these four people who can't stand your puppy side" Himchan sighed after muttering those words before kicking Daehyun onto Youngjae's lap and proceeded to pry HyoEun off his currently vunerable husband and craddles the shaking and whimpering Yongguk on his lap. "shh~ shh~ it's alright Gukkie~ UmmaChan's got you" Yongguk instantly curled up in Himchan's hold and mumbled a soft "thank you umma" before deciding to clutch onto his Tigger and UmmaChan for his dear life. The four girls of SECRET cooed and awwed at the sight and started whacking the boys beside them with pillows to keep their BangHim feels at bay. *whack*"ouww!!!" *whack* "HYO NOONA!" *whack* "UMMA!!!!!!!!" *whack whack whack whack* "JIEUN NOONA STOP HARRASSING ME!!!!"

After some time of calming the vunerable leader of B.A.P and some more pillow harrassing, Himchan finally lost it and told Yongguk to go back in their bathroom and stay there until Zelo and Youngjae gets him. Yongguk, knowing that a pissed off Himchan is a scarier and a more traumatizing person than SECRET's SongJiUmma, quickly scampered off back to where Himchan had found him and curled up with comforters and a pillow he managed to bring with him and started chanting  "Umma" like a mantra while rocking back and fourth. "ALRIGHT EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND SIT ON THE COUCH" Himchan ordered and smiled in satisfaction seeing SECRET on the couch infront of him and the four remaining B.A.P members on the other couch beside him. "Now that you all separated, YoungJae, Junhong get your..........Umma, for now, in here" YoungLo nodded knowing that from this second up to some weeks or months later, Himchan will take the role of the Appa while Yongguk stays as the Umma. "Neh appa~" Himchan nodded and narrowed his eyes at the person who caused Yongguk's Umma/Puppy side to come out and said "Song Jieun......I'm giving you 5 seconds to hide before I hit you with this bat" Jieun's eyes widened and started running for her life leaving the three confused girls face the wrath of AppaChan and started shaking in fear. "Alright while Miss Song is hiding... which one of you suggested that coming here today was a great idea?" the three girls looked at each other and facepalmed. "Himchan I dunno if you got dropped on your head as a baby or you really have some sort of severe short-term memory loss but seriously how could you forget that you practically begged me and Sunhwa to drag Hyosung Appa and Jieun Umma here to help you lessen the stupidity here" Zinger deadpanned.

Himchan: loading.................loading.........................careless.......careless...........shoot anonymous.........anonymous......... hearless...... mindless.........himchan you are stupid

"Hello?! Mato to Earth to Himchan?!" seeing that Hyosung isn't going to get any response from the idiot, she decided to ask Yongguk, who just arrived and stared hard at himchan with this expression,

(credits to the owner)

and said "help me snap your Himchan out of it" Yongguk nodded and simply slapped the back of his husband's head and said "honey don't forget to blink" before sitting down beside Daehyun who is...well being Daehyun.

(credits to whoever owns this)

Himchan blinked a couple of times before spotting his wife //for now// and hugs him "Gukkie!" Yongguk squeeked at the sudden hug and said "GET OF ME YOU !!!!" before hitting Himchan in the same place where DaeFood got hit a few hours ago. Himchan squaked and started rolling on the floor spitting a stream of very colorful words and some Matoki Words making SECRET laugh and the other four members of B.A.P facepalm and facetables. Yongguk blinked a few times before running off to the kitchen and back with an ice pack. Kneeling beside his very injured spouse, Yongguk managed to get Himchan on the couch with the help of Daehyun and gave Himchan the ice pack before saying "I'm so sorry yeobo~!" and showered Himchan with soft kisses on his face. Himchan smiled and told Yongguk he's fine and thanked Daehyun only to take his words back upon seeing the glutton hold in his laughter.

Hyosung started to get worried for her lovely SongJiWife and shouted at the top of her lungs "YAH.SONG.JI.EUN." making Yongguk cringe, Himchan deaf for now, Daehyun choke on his jjajjangmyeon, Youngjae drop the iPad on his feet, JongLo bump their heads, Zinger jump out of her seat and land on Sunhwa's lap and the said person permanently deaf towards Hyosung's voice. After more shrieks of "SONG.JI.EUN." the said person came in with messy hair and a pillow with a red soccerball face mark and glared at her HusWife "what." the people in the living room turned their attention to the sour faced main vocalist of SECRET and stiffled their laughter. Hyosung on the other hand didn't and laughed so hard that her gummy smile was showing. "OH MY GOD!!!!!! HAHA! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Jieun threw the pillow she was holding hard towards Hyosung missing her and hitting Moontos making him squak and fall faceplant on the rug "this wouldn't happen if it wasn't for your GOVERNOR VOICE THAT MAKES EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE DEAF!!!!!!!!" Yongguk started whimpering and clutching Himchan's shoulders chanting "umma" like a mantra once again. Himchan is now officially deaf but could hear his PuppyGuk's whimpering and starts cooing him "come on Gukkie~ it's fine I'm here~" Yongguk's whimpering stopped but his iron grip on Himchan's shoulder and his shaking doesn't "c--ch--channie m-m--m-make them stop!" he managed to say. HyoEun stopped their old married couple bickering and let their eyes land on a shaking Yongguk in Himchan's protective hold and grabbed their two "children" before backing away slowly and leaving the B.A.P dorms as fast as they can.

After the girls left, Himchan sighed and looked down at B.A.P's lovely Gukkie and smiled. Daehyun stopped eating and decided to give their now sleeping puppy leader a soft peck on the lips and smiled at him. Himchan smiled at his dongsaeng's cute yet affectionate gestures towards their Yonggukkie and told Zelo to carry their leader to his bedroom after giving a quick peck on Yongguk's nose before going to his own room. Zelo smiled and happily carried their leader to his bed room and layed him down carefully on his bed before pulling up his comforters and kissed his eyes softly and went out only to bump into YongUp landing on his "ow! hyungs!" he hissed softly afraid to wake their precious sleeping beauty. Youngjae simply snickered at the maknae before slipping in Yongguk's room to steal a quick kiss from the leader and went out to drag his forever hungry bestfriend away from the kitchen and lock the glutton in his room before kicking the second maknae in the leaders room while he was heading to his own room. Jongup glared at the retreating fluffy idiot before softening his eyes at his lovely hyung and kissed his cheek before muttering a soft "night Gukkie hyung~ we all love you~" before closing the leaders door and trip on a certain maknae's long legs and fall down the stairs. The maknae didn't make any attempt to move at his spot considering he's practically passed out by the stairs and mumbled "Gukkie hyung" and "our cute puppy" 

Jongup on the other hand landed on their new guard dog Cheesecake and decided to use the dog's soft furry body as his pillow and fell asleep on the squaking husky.

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Me: *pops out frm no where* HALLO~! I'M BACK!!!!!*sees Yongguk with a chainsaw coming towards me* AND NOW I SHALL*runs away* HALP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*flails arms around while running away from a very embarrassed Yongguk*

Guk: YAH! JUNG HYUNJAE GET BACK HERE!!!!!! FIRST MINE AND CHANNIE'S PASSIONATE LOVE NOW THIS?! HAVE YOU GONE MAD WOMAN?!

Yongnam: *sighs and shakes head* you have no idea how much more she's going to expose bro

Jieun: Yongnam, shut up and go away no one likes you (Me: I DO!!!!!!!) except for the idiot

Youngjae: *facepalms* then again I take back everything I said about Yongnam

Daehyun: *holds up a knife with cheesecake stains* you better take that back Yoo Youngjae

JoKo: *sighs at the stupidity unfolding once more and looks at you guys* well it looks like were going to have to ask DaePabo to sign his noona off again

KeKe: why not someone else considering that *points the glutton murdering more homemade cheesecakes (courtesy of Sunhwa and Hyunjae)* is too busy to do it

Tats: I know just the right person!!!*pushes Zinger in* 

ShiShi: *facepalms* why....why her?

Zinger: cuz I'm also part of the Jung Line? Jung Hana? rings a bell?

Dada & Toto: ouuuhy!*facepalms at their leader not comprehending anything Zinger just said* JUST SIGN NOONA OFF!

Zinger: *nods* okay then..............I guess Jung Hyunjae's signning off *awkward person is awkward*

Hyosung: *pops up and breaths in*

Everyone who isn't Hyosung: HYOSUNG DON'T YOU DA-*gets cut off by Hyosung*

Hyosung: *signature deafenig tone* HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS! PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT SUBSCRIBE AND SUPPORT!!!!!!!

Yongnam: *now deaf* What? Whaddid she say?*imitating someone frm Spongebob*

Jieun:*used to her antics* please ignore the idiot! We are going to have a new segment called

*drumrolls*

B.A.P and Matokis: FAN MAIL TIME~! *cue random dancing*

Me: neh~! please send in all your fan mails with all the questions you want me or any of us to answer!!!

Guk: but please.....please.........PLEASE DON'T SEND IN ANY HATE MAIL OR ELSE!*pulls in MatokiEmina*

Miki: I will personally kill you~*smiles innocently with a knife in hand*

Everyone: BYE BYE~!