Unfortunately, since he couldn’t speak our language, it was unthinkable to let him appear at the court. As Lord Sheffield’s exotic finding would have been acceptable, but I didn’t want people to identify him as such. As long as he couldn’t speak French, he couldn’t be taught any crucial information about the protocol. And France’s nobles would never accept to share a room with a commoner though I already made some of them share a meal with him under the excuse that, regarding politeness, as Lord Sheffield’s protégé, he couldn’t be dealt without.

Though I couldn’t name it as love, I had to admit I had a soft spot for Cheolyong. Aside his all too obvious beauty, he was a fine and gentle young man. But he knew nothing about France and if he were to be let at the Court, he’d meet a lot of enemies. He had to be prepared. He had to be strong. The more I was with him, the more I wanted to be with him. I was afraid I soon wouldn’t be able to ignore my growing feelings much longer.

It was a strange thing, really. After all, I knew almost nothing about him but the things he’d shown me through his behaviour. What if he were manipulating me? What if he were playing a part Lord Sheffield had written for him to reach a high rank at the Court? Sometimes I felt overcome with doubts. But then, I’d remember the softness of his skin, the sweetness of his lips and the truth in his dark eyes and I’d feel ashamed to have had such unfaithful thoughts!

Despite the fact that I had tried to hide his presence in the palace as my favourite, I discovered the rumour had spread among my people and at my Court that there was an Asian sorcerer who had bewitched the King. They said that soon, this sorcerer would govern the King and thus, conquer France for his own Asian Emperor. I couldn’t help but feel outraged at that. How could they believe such inanities! Every time some trouble would come up they’d scream at the sorcerer or at the witch!

As for the Queen, I had avoided inviting her to my table since Lord Sheffield and Cheolyong had arrived in the palace. I was taking as an excuse fastidious conversations about politics which she despised. We wouldn’t usually spend much time together so she didn’t seem to mind. I was lucky enough to be married to a very beautiful woman who had already given me two beautiful daughters of two and four years old. Unfortunately, the Queen, though thoughtful toward me, had few interests for the matters of the State. She’d rather talk about Lady Catherine’s last unpaid bill or Lady Anne’s latest awful dress. She was feisty: whenever she disliked someone because she’d felt offended, she’d take revenge. I liked that trait of her. She was untameable. Of course, this also meant I already had had to punish her for her insolence toward my guests. She had once, during a tourney, touched one of my greatest vassals’ helmet, thus making of him the crowd’s fool for the rest of the week. The poor man had undergone many humiliations. But she was true to me. She’d always support me and I was thankful for that. Suzy, who used to be Hungary’s most beautiful princess, was a devoted wife to me. I had a deep affection toward her.  

Unfortunately, my rising passion for Cheolyong made me desert her bed more often than usual, informing her of my unfaithfulness. For now, she didn’t seem to mind it, but how long would it last. She was used to my strays but as I said before, it was the first time one of them took such an importance in my life.

Cheolyong had been here for three months only but I have to say, his French was improving quickly. He was attending his lessons seriously and he was improving at an incredible pace. He could understand me whenever I told him simple words. I thought he was brave. He was the only of his kind and no one could give him proper explanations but nevertheless, he managed to improve. He was now able to understand short sentences with simple words and voice his wishes and opinions. He made many mistakes but nothing to prevent from understanding.

He wasn’t much of a talker though. When we were together, he’d often listen to me carefully, smiling or frowning once in a while. He‘d hardly tell me what was at the back of his mind. He was secretive. And yet, he had a sense of freedom that extended to me when I was with him. He wouldn’t give me the “Your Majesty” treatment I even had with Suzy. No, he’d simply call me “Joon”, talk informally to me, even sometimes play tricks on me as if we were equal. He was so charming. I liked to watch him laugh. Now and then, though I already said he wasn’t much of a talker, he would keep on rambling on and on in his own language. At those times, I would just stare at him, mouth agape or just smile, amused to find him so talkative. I wonder what he was saying though. At other times, he would tell me how, in Choson, they used to do things. He really was a remarkable being.

I could have let this charming young man seduce me until I inevitably got bored of him, like I always did with my other mistresses. I knew I would eventually grow tired of him. I had been enticed by his exotic and stunning beauty. I was consuming my desire with him every night and sometimes even during daytime, whenever I had the occasion. I was charmed by his spontaneity, his cheekiness, his untainted innocence. He was everything I wasn’t and couldn’t be but still would have liked to be. But I also knew my passion wouldn’t last long. I knew it was doomed to fade away like it always did though it had never reached such a .

But something changed one day. After that event, I was able to identify this new feeling and recognize it as being love. And I knew this love would be unconditional and unending. Because I knew I’d found what I’d been looking for all my life.

It was on a late afternoon, after an everlasting and complicated meeting concerning the State’s taxes. My ministers and I were utterly knackered out of too much debating. No solutions were found anyways. So I went to Cheolyong’s suite, looking for any kind of relief to ease my throbbing headache and I knew seeing him and hearing his beautiful laugh would somehow make the end of this day easier. But when I got into his room, he was nowhere to be found. I asked, Henri, the head butler I had assigned to Cheolyong who told me he was at the palace’s little chapel. So I quickly went there, wondering what he might be doing in such a place. He was not much of a believer. When I reached the nave, I saw him in the middle of the room. He was sit among numerous open books scattered around him. He was so engrossed in his reading he didn’t notice me approaching him. The light coming from the stained-glass windows was shining on him, creating a halo of light around him, spreading behind him as a pair of wings. This vision struck me and imprinted itself in my mind. He was breathtaking. This was a pure moment of grace. Only then did I notice the precious chapel’s shelves emptied. I smiled to myself. M. Mahaut was teaching him how to read lately and it seemed Cheolyong had fallen in love with books ever since. I knelt in front of him and sighed.

-  I’ve been looking for you.

He lifted his head up and a bright smile enlightened his features. I couldn’t help but return the affectionate smile. Cheolyong was always cheerful to me.

-  Those books are wonderful, he simple said before he returned his attention to the book.

I glanced over, to try to have a look at the said book. It was, indeed, a book one could consider as a piece of art with its fine and delicate illuminations. The manuscript was ornamented with gold and unspoilt pigments. I chuckled. So he wasn’t reading, just watching illuminations.

Once again, he lifted his head to look at me and I saw his eyes b with unshed tears.

-  Those colours…

I cradled his face in my hands and looked intently in his eyes. What did those colours mean to him, I wondered. He seemed to be unable to explain himself any further. He gasped, lowered his eyes to the ground a moment as if he were ashamed and then looked back at me. I couldn’t see any trace of tears now. He smiled, dropped the book and threw his arms around my neck, nuzzling into my chest. I held him tightly, as if I thought he could have evaporated in the air.

-  My, oh, my, I smiled looking around me, that’s some mess you’ve made down here. If the priests knew that, they’d ask for you to be excommunicated!

He pushed himself a little bit away from me to look a t me and kissed me tenderly, his soft plump lips only brushing against mine until I finally let him in. His tongue caressed mine slowly, dancing together in harmony. I mewled as a shiver went down my spine. He smiled into the kiss and softly pulled out.

As my gaze got caught in his, I knew that what I felt for him was love. And I felt so grateful to be able to hold him.

-  What do you think they’d ask for if they saw us like that, he retorted.

-  Who?

-  The priests, he laughed.

-  They’d be jealous as hell! I said and his laugh resonated in the chapel, mixing with mine.

I helped him to sit up, and we left the chapel, leaving the mess behind. As we were walking along the hall toward his room, I saw Suzy from afar with two of her ladies. When they spot us at the other end of the corridor, an evil smile appeared briefly on the Queen’s face before the three of them started to walk in our direction. When they were at our level, the Queen bowed to me in respect and so did we.

-  What a pleasure to see you, Majesty, Suzy said with a warm smile on her lips. I see you’re in good company.

-  Indeed, I am, I answered quickly and started to walk again.

I wanted to avoid Suzy having contact with Cheolyong. I knew her nature and I knew his. She’d stomp on him carelessly. As we walked past them, I distinctly heard Suzy say in a clear voice to her ladies:

-  See? That was the King’s .

I heard her ladies giggle and the rustling of their dresses as they went away. I didn’t dare say anything. Facing her would only worsen her hatred toward Cheolyong and really… I couldn’t help but think that it was true somehow? Cheolyong was only here for my own wellbeing. I didn’t dare turning around and look at him. I knew that he had heard it as clearly as I did. I only had to hope he didn’t understand. When we reached his room, I finally dared to face him, trying to hide my discomfort. He smiled sheepishly at me. A wave of relief came over me. He didn’t understand.

I walked to him and kissed him. He responded to my lips immediately so I lead him to the bed and pushed him gently on his back. I felt incredibly hot. I stripped us both our clothes and kissed him again, trailing down his jaw, on his neck, his collar bone, careful to leave marks here and there. He was mewling lightly and shivering under me, his breath already unsteady. I made my way to his and it. He moaned again when I tugged on it. But something was wrong. His responses felt wrong, not in synchronisation and he just laid there, not touching me as he would usually do. I looked up to see his face and realised he was holding in broken sobs. I felt like a monster. The moans I thought were hungry sounds of pleasure were in fact repressed sobs.

-  Cheolyong? I asked.

-  Don’t! He said, his voice on the breach of cracking. Just don’t!

-  I don’t understand, baby, I whispered, wiping a tear that had fallen on his cheek.

-  Don’t say my name, he commanded sternly.

I was shocked. How dared he use such a tone with me. What was this whim out of a sudden?

-  I’ll do as I wish, I retorted harshly and kissed him forcefully, pinning him to the bed.

He struggled but I held him tight. That’s when he did it: he bit my lips and I instantly felt the iron taste of blood filling my mouth. I shouted and backed away, releasing him.

-  Go away! He screamed.

-  What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid…

-  ! He shouted, eyes full of tears, finishing my sentence. You meant , right!

I was struck. Not only did he know the meaning but he had also kept on running in his mind my wife’s words again and again. He sat up and pulled me out of the bed by the arm, leading me toward the door with a force and a rage I didn’t know he possessed.

Once the shock was gone, I suddenly came back to my senses. I was the King. He couldn’t just behave like this. I slapped his face with all the strength and anger I could gather and he fell to the ground. He shouted out of pain and a sick part of me was satisfied. He was in the same sitting position I’d found him in the chapel. Unless he was , his hair was a mess and his face flushed with anger. He was torn. He breathed in and out loudly and said in a low but confident voice, his eyes glued to the floor:

-  I don’t belong to you. I am no pet. If I am annoyed I say it!

-  What has gotten into you, for Christ’s sake! I swore.

He looked up at me, his smoky eyes shining through his dark locks and said coldly:

-  You can just go find another . Because you won’t touch me anymore.

His words cut into my skin like a knife. Bitterness and anger overwhelmed me. I needed to get rid of my venom. It was chocking me from inside. I had to let it out.

-  You give yourself far too much importance, Mir, I laughed bitterly. Just because I gave you a room doesn’t mean I care. You were getting boring, anyways. Don’t talk to me informally anymore or I’ll have your pretty little head chopped off!

He was glaring at me, his eyes sending daggers as I returned his glare. I made my way to the bed and collected my clothes before leaving him through the hidden passage next to his bed. Before I closed the door, I lifted my eyes to glance at him. His eyes were staring at the now empty space I had occupied in front of him, silent tears falling down his reddened cheeks.

I left him. As I was on my way to my own room, I kept on running what had just happened in my head. And the more I did, the more my anger seemed to fade away to be replaced by guilt and pain. I had been unfair. To cover my cowardice for not being able to muzzle my wife, I had shouted at him, and even hit him. Yet, he was right. I did nothing. I let him get hurt in front of me by the Queen. And when he became mad at me for this, I’d just hurt him even more with my harsh words. I felt stupid. He didn’t want me to touch him again and I felt humiliated. I told him I didn’t care when I was craving for his skin. I had just realised how dear he was to me and I was already losing him. By the time I had reached my room, I was crying my heart both out of anger and pain.