I broke down the moment he left my room. What was he expecting from me? Why did he come back when he forcefully pushed me out of his life? Why did he have to come just when I was starting to live again? It was so unfair! Why couldn’t he leave me alone? I held my head in my hands, trying to catch my breath through my sobs. My heart had been beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. Why did he still have such a strong grip on my heart? After all this time, I thought I was finally free.

I tried to calm down. I couldn’t just let him reach my heart. He betrayed me. Not only did he cheat on me but he also hurt me on purpose. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting another. I couldn’t trust him anymore. As much as I wanted to give in to him and forget myself in his embrace, I just couldn’t. Because the next time he’d betray me, I’d be unable to heal. I forced myself to remember how unworthy of my trust this man was. No, he was no man, he was a King, and thus he’d never be just my man, I thought bitterly. This love was vain.

I wiped the tears on my cheeks and lied down on my bed. I tried to think reasonably, but somehow, the ache didn’t allow me to. So I stared blankly at the wall, trying to block the painful memories. I saw his warm and confident smile as he walked in my room. I saw his flawless skin, how smooth it was under my touch, how he would sing my name to call me, how the words would flow out of his mouth when he did. He was the only one I ever allowed to call me by my real name… I remembered how his body seemed to surrender under my touch, how his sweet kisses would make me feel precious… Then I remembered his iron grip on my wrists when he pinned me on the wall that day, his furious gaze as he threw me to the ground and ripped my clothes. That day, something snapped inside of him and he didn’t hear me anymore. And I remembered the dread he had made me feel and the pain when he took me forcefully. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was exhausted. I didn’t want to fight anymore. This love… it was too hard. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to let it go.

On the morrow, we all went in the woods on the outskirts of the village, near the lake I am used to ride along. I tried to stay as far from the King as I could, which was not difficult as the protocol demanded that he’d stay with Lord Sheffield. But whenever I would look in his direction, our gazes would meet, and my heart would skip a beat as I’d blush.

A Hide-and-Seek game started and Cheondung was the one who had to seek us as, on the other hand, Lord Sheffield excused himself, saying his old age prevented him from running around with us. We all ran away when he started to count. As strange as it may seem, I enjoyed a lot running through the woods to find a hiding place. I didn’t think of him, I only felt the thrill of the game, laughing happily as I passed Juliette’s hiding place, heading forward. There was a small cave in the rocks near the lake. As I stepped inside a little too quickly, I slid on the wet moss on the ground and fell heavily. I whimpered in pain, holding my knee. The skin was slightly cut and blood started to seep out of the wound. It was only superficial but it hurt awfully. I was striving to hold my tears when I heard rapid footsteps coming from behind.

- Watch out! I shouted, ignoring who I was talking to, not even lifting my head up. This ground is slippery, you might fall.

-  You’re hurt! The person noticed in a wary voice.

I sighed. I knew this voice too well. It couldn’t be a coincidence. He had followed me. I didn’t even bother to face him as I just whispered sternly:

-  Go away. Only one can hide in here.

He didn’t listen to me. Of course, he wouldn’t! He bent down and I felt his arms around my body as he lifted me up from the ground as if I were as light as feather. Taken aback, I only thought about struggling when he held me tight against his chest, but as always, he wouldn’t budge.

-  Leave me alone! I can walk! I whined, trying to hit him.

-  Don’t be such a baby, Cheolyong, Joon ordered in a strong authoritative voice, you’re hurt! I won’t let you here alone.

This demanding voice, this confidence that showed through… I missed it so much! A tear rolled down my cheek. I tried my best not to cry in front of him, but it hurt. My leg wasn’t that painful, but my heart, it felt as if it were pierced with countless needles. His touch on my skin, it burnt. I wanted to escape him. Unable to hold my tears any longer, I hid my face in his chest as he took me out of the cave. I could hear his heartbeat. He held tighter onto me as he felt my body shake with smothered sobs.

He brought me back to the castle, startling anyone who would see us on our way. Because I knew well enough this was not how a King was supposed to act. It should have soothed me, I know. I should have felt touched by his will to break the rules for me. But I felt insulted. I couldn’t take out of my mind that only his guilt made him do such a thing, and once again I was nothing but a burden.

-  Let go of me, I seethed between my gritted teeth.

I didn’t want to make a fuss in front of others, so I kept my voice low so that only he could hear me. But his touch grazed, his kindness hurt. I needed to go out of his embrace. He reminded me of all the things I’d lost and the memory stung awfully.

He didn’t seem to understand the urge to escape him that was assaulting my whole being as he kept walking toward my room stubbornly, ignoring the confused and shocked looks the servants were giving us in the hall. One of them was kind enough to open the door to my room before he shut it behind us. As soon as we were out of sight, I struggled in his embrace until he had no other choice than let me down. I was mad at him. He never cared for what I felt, once again he had just acted as he wished, ignoring me.

As he put me down, an indescribable rage took hold of me and before I realised what I’d done, I slapped him hard. He immediately held his cheek in shock, his eyes looking deep into mine. I read hurt in them and I wished I didn’t act so rashly, as he was the King. He lowered his hand and looked at his fingers, breathing deeply. I gasped in surprise when I noticed the blood on his fingers. I looked at his cheek and saw that the skin had cracked under the pressure caused by my ring.

He smiled sadly, not looking at me before he bit on his lower lip. What could he be thinking? I suddenly felt my body walk forward and my hand trying to reach his bruised cheek but I immediately stopped when I realised what I was about to do. He seemed to notice it, as his gaze momentarily filled with an emotion close to hope.

I lowered my head, feeling my blood boiling in my veins. I hated him. I hated the sight of him. I hated that he was so kind to me, I hated his silent understanding. And I hated that I wanted him. All that he was, with all his flaws. I couldn’t deny I loved him.

He sighed and turned around before he silently made his way out. Nothing was said between us but we knew. It was too late…  

I am so so so sorry for the late and short update! :-(

I’ve been concentrating on my other story as I was stuck with that one.

I hope you liked that chapter anyway. I really have trouble making this story evolve so my future updates might be not regular. Again, sorry!

Thank you for reading and commenting and sticking with this story despite the irregular and rare updates.