D&M 4
Dreams and Memories
Joonmyeon couldn't sleep that night. No matter how hard he tried closing his eyes for a longer period of 30 minutes. He will eventually open his eyes, stand up and anxiously walk around his room. He tried reading a book but ended up tossing it out away. He forced himself to think of a new scene for the latest chapter he's currently working on but then again, the words where adamant. Growling, he'll submerge back into the confinements of his cold bed. His mind constantly speaks the same words.
Jongdae is back.
Prepare to go insane.
This is only the beginning Joonmyeon.
When morning came, he was greeted by a cheerful Baekhyun in the kitchen, with a flowery apron that belongs to Luhan, he was making waffles and hot chocolate. Joonmyeon sat on his personal stool, noisily yawning. He rests his head on the table, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
"Trouble sleeping?" Baekhyun asked, placing a plate of waffles for him indulge, before sitting on Luhan's favorite chair, wobbling his own waffles with a newspaper on hand.
"My brain won't let me." he groggily pouted, lifting his sleep deprived body, piercing the waffles murderously with a fork.
"Because your thinking too much." Baekhyun chuckled that made Joonmyeon's eyebrow raise, chewing Baekhyun's homemade waffles that tastes nothing but salty.
"Baek, my ghostly ex from my christmas past came back and one of my best friends almost turned into a killer machine. In just one freaking day. What do you think my mind will think?" he deadpanned. Self-forcing his throat and tongue to gulp down the waffles. He took the glass of water instead of the chocolate milk. He bets the chocolate milk tastes 97 % real floating sugar.
"So what if Jongdae's back? and so what if Luhan almost turned into one? as if he isn't already. You know," places the newspaper down." I'm surprised why that wild deer is working as an editor." Baekhyun shrugged.
"Luhan should have been a lawyer since he talks nonstop, defends people way too much never, letting anyone win over him in an argument. Hey! and also a heavyweight boxer, can you still recall how he knocks Jongdae down?!! whooeee He's good with multitasking so i'm sure he'll be fine with two or three? Careers." his friend added, choking on his own made chocolate milk when Luhan walked in with a stitch stuff toy dangling on hand.
"Talking behind my back at 7am. How cute Baekkie." Luhan chuckled, opening their fridge and looking for the milk.
"I was complimenting you." Baekhyun fake smiled, wiping the chocolate milk he just spit on the table. Luhan rolled his eyes in dubiety while pouring some milk onto his glass and gulping it down in one go. Totally ignoring Joonmyeon's pleading for attention eyes.
"By the way, I'm not coming with you guys today. I might kill someone in the middle of the meeting." Luhan took his plate of waffles, picked the caramel syrup and drizzled it abundantly over his breakfast.
"Luhan-----"
The honey haired boy slammed the empty caramel syrup frightening both of his friends, strode out of the kitchen when Joonmyeon tries to talk to him.
Baekhyun clicks his tongue disappointedly.
"Can't believe this is happening Baek." Joonmyeon exclaimed, tousling his auburn curls with his hands, shoulders dejectedly dropped down. Luhan still refuses to talk to him. He ignored him when he walked inside Luhan's room the other night. The angry chinese will just walk pass Joonmyeon when he tries to start a conversation.
Baekhyun consolingly tapped his friend's shoulder.
"He'll come around. You know Luhan."
"Exactly. I know Luhan. He won't talk to me for a month Baek." he cries in agony. Scratching his non-itchy head. He hates it when any of them are not on speaking terms with each other.
Baekhyun shakes his head."No, probably two months or more." he chuckled, earning a morning smack from the curly haired Joonmyeon, peeved by Baekhyun's Joke.
"I was kidding you know. Just let him cool down. He'll go back into the obnoxious cheerful Luhan in no time okey? For the meantime, let's hurry up before we get late." Baekhyun said the his slapped arm, reminding his friend of their meeting at 10am.
Joonmyeon kept sighing as Baekhyun volunteered on washing the dishes.
I'm going to see him again.
No, I'm going to see him everyday from now on.
He rubbed his face with his bare hands.
•••
Since Joonmyeon was sleep deprived, Baekhyun drove them to the KBS Building for the safety of their lives. They arrived at the building 15 minutes early with Baekhyun saying how Luhan will be so proud to know that they are punctual without him nagging about the ticking time every now and then.
Joonmyeon was leaning his head on Baekyun's shoulder during the entire elevator ride. They went out on the 10th floor with the excited slim drama queen leading. Baekhyun took his friend's hand, walks hand in hand with him when Joonmyeon looked so reluctant to get out of the elevator.
When they came face to face with the big wooden door of conference room, Joonmyeon's hairs stood up when he heard Jongdae's laughing voice coming from the inside. His heels were already on the go to turn back and run, but only got stopped by Baekhyun.
"Baekhyun, you have no idea how hard this is for me." he whines.
"Oh c'mon Joonmyeon. You'll be facing him with me okey? If his friend ninja attacks us, one tap of a finger and i'm gonna release our Kraken Xi Luhan." Baekhyun laughed, pushing Joonmyeon ahead of him, ushering him inside.
The door flung wide open as Joonmyeon walks in, gulping hard seeing a lot of eyes looking at him. Baekhyun was singing BAP warrior behind him, Bowing politely when they were greeted.
The production staffs were already present in the room. Kyungsoo was discussing something with the managers. Jongin or preferably called Kai, was busy murmuring words at the droopy eyed junior writer sehun, who kept snickering in return. The head writer was flipping pages of a script, comparing some texts while Jongdae was sitting on the same chair he occupied a day ago. He was wearing a black framed eye glasses, in his blue coat, gray shirt with Black prints and a pair of black denims. His bruised face look surprisingly less offensive compared to the last time they both saw him. He was goofily chatting with his chubby cheeks friend.
"Whoe, Jongdae I'm impressed. Your thick face heals faster than I've thought." Baekhyun commented, grabbing a chair for himself before settling down.
"Baekhyun.."Joonmyeon warned his agitated best friend in his tiny voice not to create a blockbuster sequel of what happened yesterday. Jongdae glanced at Baekhyun across the table. The corners of his lips creeping into a snarky smirk.
"Of course. His private nurse Yixing was... Very attentive and skillful." it was Xiumin who answered,"Right Chen?" staring at Jongdae with a finger forcefully tugging Jongdae's collars revealing a freshly bluish marks on his neck.
"Stop it Xuimin." Jongdae glared, but wasn't genuinely angry or annoyed. His face looks more of an embarrassed teenager getting caught of having a hickey by his mother. Xuimin didn't listen despite Jongdae's struggles and kept showing the mark that made Joonmyeon wanting to punch Xuimin's bloated face.
It was clearly none of his business if Jongdae and Yixing are sleeping together, eat each other or destroy the entire building by doing a critically satisfying making out till the sun rises. They are a couple anyway and he's seeing kris.
But dammit Why am I feeling like this?!
He mentally cried because the corners of his eyes feels stinging once again. Its only a matter of seconds and he'll be a ball of crying in front of everyone. His teeth were involuntarily gritting together hearing Jongdae's bright giggles and shyly covering his laughs from his friend's teasing as if his face wasn't deformed by Luhan the other day.
"Give me your GO signal and I'll kill him off right here right now together with his talking bread face friend and to with all the innocent people around." Baekhyun's murmured near his ears woke him up from his emotional misery. He placed his hand on top of Baekhyun's, snatching the pen he kept clicking. The sharp pointed end of the pen that kept on reappearing gave him flashes of possibilities; Baekhyun crawling on top of the table across Jongdae and pounces at him with the sharp weapon on hand.
He shakes his head.
26 years and he is still wondering why the heavens destined him to meet two friends who were both sweet, caring, supportive and all the sugar and goodies that comes along with them but at the same time, the two of them are clinically psychotic, having occasional phases of inflicting physical and emotional abuse to others, attempted murders plus having the golden gifts of sharp tongue's that can cut peoples sensitive hearts.
"I-I'm sorry in behalf of what Luhan did. " he said, straightening his back and bowing apologetically in front of Jongdae. He was planning on apologizing for Luhan's actions since yesterday. It's impossible for him to get his friend to even show up and say sorry without causing trouble. Jongdae said nothing behind those black framed eye glasses but pauses from talking to Xuimin to listen to him.
"What the are you apologizing for?! Luhan will cut your tongue once he hears about this!"Baekhyun complained, sharing all his filthy words for everybody to hear. It wasn't a surprise for Joonmyeon to feel his back hot and felt-like flaming, certain that it's coming from Baekhyun's dark laser eyes glazing at his back.
"It's okey. I'm not expecting an apology from him anyway." Jongdae smiled. He looked so carefree and happy like no one can destroy his lovely day. Joonmyeon wondered how can Jongdae absorbs all of it and just smile in front of him.
"Oh good. Because it will never happen." Baekhyun sarcastically chuckled. Forcing his paled friend to sit down and stop saying nonsense words before he cuts his throat and won't be sorry for it after.
Joonmyeon sat down, breathing deeply beside Baekhyun.
Why are you acting like this Jongdae?
Joonmyeon was in the middle of his pensive thoughts when the wooden door of the conference room opened. A group of people in their early twenties, Some teenagers, came in. They continuously bowed politely to them. The rest of them staffs giving them a warm welcome, introducing one selves as the conversation went on.
"These are the casts, Kim Myungsoo from the idol group infinite will be the leading man, the newcomer actress miss Soo minhae, The all boys group shinee, Mir from MBLAQ and miss Go Eun ah." the senior director heechul introduced. The mentioned individuals bowed one by one. A few words of gratitude for having them casted in the upcoming drama and that they will work hard to achieve high ratings. All of them have high hopes of getting high ratings specially when the casted stars are idols that all netizen loves.
After explaining a brief plot of the story by the head writer herself, they all settled down on their seats. Joonmyeon and Baekhyun volunteered on distributing the scripts around followed by the ran-through rehearsal of the script.
When they were done with the first three scripts, Jongdae stood up explaining the date and the location of the pilot episode.
"Filming will start ten days from now. Our first locations will be at Seoul international University, the subdivision near the school and our last location on that day will be in the incheon international airport." Jongdae starts. Flashing some slides and explaining how the filming will go and that the stars should be punctual enough during filming. Xiumin added his concerns with the senior director filling them in.
Baekhyun keeps murmuring something about being punctual and how Luhan loves that. Meanwhile, Joonmyeon was at lost of words listening to Jongdae.
You're a Director now Jongdae. Just what you wanted to be.
He smiled on his seat, feeling stupid for thinking about Jongdae's achievements. He couldn't help but be proud of his ex somehow. They were once dreamers, two teenagers dreaming about their future together and look at us now.
It's all in the past Joonmyeon.
He deeply breath, grabbing the manuscript and going through each pages. Reading the lines that he knows by heart.
When the meeting ended, the writers stayed for awhile to organize some things. The head writer kept asking about Luhan and that she wants to see the pretty boy during filming. Joonmyeon made a mental note that he needs to clear things up with his best friend before filming starts.
When they were on their way down, he saw Yixing tagging behind Jongdae at the lobby.
"What's Yixing doing here?" Baekhyun glaced at his wrist watch." it's like office hours."
Joonmyeon grips his sling bag tightly, taking his eyes off Yixing encircling his arm around Jongdae's waist as the two walked out of the building together.
"I-I don't- I- don't wanna know." he muttered.
•••
When they got home, Joonmyeon was 1000% certain that his treacherous friend Baekhyun, spilled all about his public apology to Luhan. It's the only explanation why his Chinese friend is currently throwing heavy stuffs inside his room which is adjacent to Joonmyeon's. Luhan's screaming how stupid and martyr he is for apologizing to his past lover.
"That idiot!! He apologized for--?! what the ing world is going on inside his shrinking brain still concerned with that face snail eyed ing JONGDAE?! Dammit!!" Luhan unrestrictedly hissed in his room with Baekhyun competing on who say's the best cursing words in history.
"I told you!! you could have just gone to work with us. I swear I don't know how to handle that bull son of a scaleless fish. I want to chop all of his limbs into meat cubes and--- agh. You know what? I'm wasting my wonderful voice here. I'd rather scream in pleasure during with Yeol than talk about that neurotic . I'm out of here." Baekhyun trundled out of the room shutting Luhan's door behind him.
A shearing sound of something breaking was heard in the other room accompanied by the honey haired boy's never been heard before profanities.
It was probably Luhan's laptop breaking into halves.
Joonmyeon drowned himself beneath the sea of covers and pillows, turning his stereo full blast to avoid hearing Luhan's from the pit of hell curses. It hurts him hearing any of them cursing at him like that.
Both of you have no idea what I'm going through right now.
He dismissed the mental note about making peace with Luhan. He can't possibly talk with him If he's in the killing mode. He closes his eyes and decided to play dead for the next 10 days until he'll bury his own self the moment he sees Jongdae again.
•••
Should I say thank you for ignoring me or what?
Joonmyeon lazily fumbles with the script plainly staring back at him. He twirls the pencil around his slender fingers, eyes watching Jongdae professionally films the stars role playing their parts.
Ten days had past and Joonmyeon is now at their first filming site, at one of the prestigious international school in seoul. The staffs are running around the site, cameras rolling and writers were sitting or standing side by side with the directors observing in wide eyes at the screens.
Except Joonmyeon.
Jongdae is ignoring him. Like what he thinks the other is trying to do. He never calls for his assistance, comments or critiques, though Joonmyeon was happy how he is saved from having a hard time working close with his past lover. Their charming director loves calling kay or Baekhyun for help instead of his. He couldn't count how many times Baekhyun returned to his side grumbling at how Jongdae was a troll calling him for useless favors. Asking him nonsense questions and questioning the script."Why not go and talk to Luhan, he's the one who edited the damn thing."
He rolled his eyes.
Xuimin was the only one who calls him but also a bit hesitant to ask for his help, albeit he is fine with it. Jongdae's giving the both of them some space to adjust with the fact of being separated with some unidentified reason and one day gets dumped to work with each other.
How thoughtful of you Jongdae..
He sneers on his seat, looking through the papers and keeping himself awake and busy rather than brood at the corners watching Jongdae. He was in the middle of yawning when-
His phone alerts for a new text. He fished for his phone and opened the message.
From: Babe
Babe? how are you? still having headaches?
Joonmyeon's guilt is slowly dragging him to hell. Ten days and he couldn't communicate with Kris properly. They haven't seen each other since the day he drove him home. It was all him. He doesn't want Kris seeing him like an a abandoned boy crying, specially the reason of his suffering is someone from his past because if Kris ever finds out about it, the situation will only gets messier than its already is.
To: Babe
I'm still breathing.^^ yeah, still have some episodes of splitting headaches but I'm okey. How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been calling and texting you much lately.
He tapped the send button, returning his attention at the paper in front of him when only a minute passed he received a New text from Kris.
From: Babe
I'm not okey. I miss my boyfriend.;(
He clutches with his Phone reading the words. All Joonmyeon wanted to do is pull a trigger at himself. He can imagine Kris pouting his lips while typing the texts. His fingers were on it to compose a message when Kris sent another one.
From: Babe
Made up with Luhan yet?
It was his excuse. That he can't visit or have a sleepover at his apartment when Luhan is still at cold war with him. The answer to his boyfriend's question is a big NOT YET. His Chinese friend is either giving him time to think about his issues or he just wants to torture him for broadcasting a public apology that he wasn't pleased about.
He haven't mentioned anything about Luhan and Jongdae to handsome boyfriend. Kris will surely ask why Luhan went high wired and Joonmyeon is chickening out to tell him. It was better to leave him out of it more specially to the fact that Kris's best friend Yixing is seeing Jongdae.
His boyfriend's question only made him remember how his life turned upside down because of one person.
To: Babe
Not yet. He's still ignoring me. You don't have to worry Kris, we'll fix this.
Kris sent a reply in a quickie.
From: Babe
I'm your boyfriend. How could I not worry? Just tell me if he's going way overboard. I'm going to talk it out with him myself.
Joonmyeon gulps readings the texts. He shakes his head as if Kris is sitting beside him. The last time the two chinese talked an argument out, it didn't ended well. Luhan never like someone domineering as Kris getting into his business.
He pressed the call button. They can't talk something like this in texts.
"Kris no. You don't have to. I-I can handle this." he said with determination the moment Kris picked up his phone.
"No, because If you can handle this issue between Luhan and you, then the two of you should have been talking by now." he heard him gasp for air with the crumpling sound of papers around."Joonmyeon, it's been 10 days. You're not telling me what's going on, we haven't seen each other for more than a week. And yes, I want to fix this for you partly because I want to sleep and wake up with my Boyfriend on my own bed again." Kris's deep voice sounded desperately more deeper, groggy and that tone of voice tells Joonmyeon that Kris-
"I miss you so badly. Text and calls? this isn't enough for me. This isn't even normal between us." Kris's pleading voice moistens Joonmyeon's eyes. Indeed, its not normal between them because before all the unenviable happened, they were always together. Kris picking him up after work, him visiting at his workplace, him almost living with Kris in his apartment. Seeing each other had always been them, until the inevitable human being came back from hell.
He badly wanted to cry over the phone with Kris. Tell him he's far from okey and his past lover is back, messing the natural order of things just by existing in his life again.
He hates himself because here he is, becoming psychotic all alone. Neglecting his present boyfriend who loves and misses him so much.
"Um." he clears his voice before talking back,"I promise. This will be over soon. Just let me handle this for now kay?"
There was a long pause before Kris finally spoke.
"Fine. But call me once this is over please."
Joonmyeon gathers his things when the production staffs were packing up to move to their next location, with a sling bag hoisted on his left shoulder, Joonmyeon stood up from his chair.
"Promise Kris." he certainly states over the other line. He heard a sighed of relief from Kris and,
"Babe..? I love you."
Joonmyeon paused from taking another step hearing Kris's words of love for him. The four words that he usually replies back, got stuck somewhere inside his voice box refusing to come out for him.
He blinks at his front when he sees Jongdae helping one staff carrying a bag. He must have noticed him standing there with his phone because Jongdae stares for a brief moment and awkwardly smiles at him, expression telling him to; Let's go Joonmyeon.
That smile's killing him inside.
"Babe?"
His fingers tighten around his mobile phone.
"Ye-eah.. I-love you too."
•••
"You were right. I should've just let you go or I should've listened to you when you wanted to drop this project!" a loud slammed of the car door shook the entire vehicle as Baekhyun fiddled with his fingers groping for his car keys."That really did changed into an upper level demon troll. It's was obvious, his fooling around with me! like he can't see anyone to pester with but me! Joonmyeon, we should really quit this entire thing. He's stressing me out!" Baekhyun shriek in depression, turning joyous when he found the key, hasty inserting the key into the ignition and Boomed the car to life.
"Oh right!"Baekhyun exclaimed remembering something."We can't because we signed the ing contract! dammit!" he cursed, maneuvering the steering wheel as his car drove off "I guess we'll have to endure it for a little longer and--- , we're down to the 90th manuscript! How on earth will that buy us a little time to endure with that--
Baekhyun never likes getting interrupted in the middle of his speech so, when his mobile rang in the middle of his declamation, he swiped it to answer in annoyance.
"What the do you-?!"Baekhyun's wailings magically vanished when he heard his caller."OHhhh Yeol!! no!! it's not what I meant! I-- I mean I wasn't----- yeah I'm sorry I've been stressed by some bastard and---- "
Joonmyeon rolls his eyes hearing Baekhyun's voice from cursing, yelling then abruptly changes into a lovesick chipmunk just by hearing chanyeol's deep voice on the other line.
"When's your day off??..... I want to see you..." Baekhyun squeals making his best friend squint in discomfort." Tomorrow?? okey! Pick me up after work?? yeah... I can't wait to see you...waait REALLY?! your place?! are- are you sure? how about your brother? He might hear us---"
Oh please Baek.. As if you care if someone hears you two or not.
"Okey then, I'll see you."Baekhyun giggles like someone's been tickling his sides."I love you.. " he adds, kissing his own phone before finally hanging up.
The bad tempered Baekhyun five minutes ago was abducted by aliens and a new cloned, widely laughing Baekhyun is sitting beside Joonmyeon.
"God, I'm in love with Chanyeol.." he heard him confess his deep feelings for his boyfriend, nearly running over the old women passing by because Baekhyun had his eyes closed sayings those words.
I used to be like that. One call from him and all the madness will be blown away.
"Take a nap Joonmyeon. Your face is shouting for it. I'll wake you once we're there." patting his knees, Joonmyeon made himself comfortable on the front seat, dozing off in millisecond.
After 20 minutes of land travel, Baekhyun shook his best friend to wake him. Joonmyeon squints his eyes, adjusting to the bright surroundings as he yawns all the way.
"Let's go and finish this off." Baekhyun huffs off his car, walking around and opening Joonmyeon's door for him.
"C'mon baby Suho." pulling the still drossy Joonmyeon, wrapping his arm around the still eyes closed auburn haired friend as they made their way to the entrance of the Airport.
The entire production staffs gathered around, with the assistance of a group of security to cover a specific area they'll be using. The actress had quick talk with the directors regarding where she would be walking in. Baekhyun sat Together with their co-writer on the chairs provided for them. Kyungsoo and his team busied themselves with the main actress. The cameras and the lights were being prepared by Kai and his team while Joonmyeon just stood there stiffening like a rock.
Incheon international airport.
One of the places he kept himself away from walking into.The crowded airport left a scar in his heart that will forever be there even if hundreds of years may pass by.
He nibbled his lower lip, mind refusing to remember but his heart gaining control over his well-being forcing his eyes to see a glimpse of his treasured past. As the hands of time ticks a calendar of days, months, years back in his favor, pulling him to that one morning.
On that particular spot, in the middle of all the people rushing to get inside their plane on time. A boy who listlessly stood with shoulder's shuddering, fluttering voice begs, refusing to left go of a love ones hand. He Stared down at his shoes, letting his crystal tears roll down, dripping on the floor one by one like a hot tear-like clay from a melting candle. He sniffles, in some ways heaving all his will power to suppress all the tormented sobs. To keep it lock somewhere down his throat.
The raven haired boy an inch taller than the other, brushes his hand across the crying boy's cheek. Wiping the bitter tears away with lips murmuringly coaxing the other one to stop crying please and it won't take forever. He whispers smothering words, words that they'll be together again soon.
The boy, shaking his head in a stern disapproval lets go of that soft hand he grippingly held, only to encircle his trembling arms around the raven haired boy's neck . The boy he deeply loves and will miss every seconds of not being with him. His mouth quivering, a name that he even calls in his sleep was now utterly hard to articulate,"Jo-
"Joonmyeon!"
The images smeared away. His flickering memories skittered back into hiding as the dark surroundings turning bright and noisy. The dreadful aura of letting go of someone important slowly wavered, but Joonmyeon's heavy heart remains unchanging. A voice inside his head telling him to LEAVE.
Joonmyeon slides a foot back, his body spun around. Mind and body aiming for the exit door of the airport.
"Joonmyeon!!"
"Joonmyeon where are you going?!" Baekhyun yells, sidling beside him as he made his way out."Joonmyeon!" Baekhyun shouts again.
"I-I'll just stay out."Joonmyeon gulps, momentarily stopping but still looking outside than seeing the spacious crowed airport behind him. Baekhyun quirks his brow, confusedly glaring at his stuttering friend wondering why he would like to be in a freezing environment.
"To do what? Joonmyeon, it's like north pole outside. Don't tell me you need some fresh air to breath. it's going to deep freeze your lungs and-" his voice flutters seeing Joonmyeon's puzzled expression, like a lost puppy.
"You know that I don't like being here." Joonmyeon petulantly shakes his head. Baekhyun wonderingly looks around, a glint of realization in his eyes after a Moment. He deep sighed in regret. He knew what memory his friend's trying to avoid, because he was there when it happened.
"O-okey, just -- don't be out too Long." he said, tapping his best friend's head.
Joonmyeon trots out of the airport. When he finally walk passed the exit door, he gasped for free air, looking around searching for a bench to sit on. When he finally found one, he trundles along the way and slumps on the bench, hands rubbing his forehead closing his eyes to stop any involuntary tears to fall.
I don't want to remember that day. Anything but that.
He props his elbows over his knees, leaned forward and buried his face onto his cold palms distressfully murmuring incoherent words.
"Joonmyeon?"
Joonmyeon weakly removed his palms. He somehow felt the empty space creaked beside him. When turns his head to the side, he saw his wide eyed co-worker.
"Kyungsoo.." he says, receiving a wide friendly smile that everybody considers cute from kyungsoo.
"It's weird seeing you here. You're usually all over the place during tapings." Kyungsoo cackles. Joonmyeon gave a wry smile at the head stylist, leaning back and rests his body against the metal backrest of the bench.
"I'm- not feeling good." he hems. Kyungsoo's eyes gotten wider. Joonmyeon couldn't decide whether it was shocked or his normal way of glaring.
"Then why are you here out in the cold?? aren't you freezing?" Kyungsoo worriedly tucked Joonmyeon's scarf around him. Kyungsoo's gestures made Joonmyeon smile somehow. Kyungsoo is always motherly and everybody knows it.
Now that kyungsoo mentioned it, his body gotten aware of the low temperature. Joonmyeon held his thick coat, swaddling it around him snugly.
Kyungsoo handed him a steaming hot cup container. He looked at kyungsoo smiling, gratefully receiving the cup. He didn't even noticed he was carrying any.
When he uncapped the container, a foamy hot steams brushed at Joonmyeon's face, warmly heating his cold cheeks and hand. He his head when he found the hot liquid smelling creamy and-
"I don't think you need coffee.Those dark circles are telling me you haven't been sleeping well lately. Milk's good for you." Kyungsoo remarkably muffled his hair before blowing some air at his own coffee and sipping it cautiously.
"T-Thanks Kyungsoo.."
He keenly gazed at the foamy milk. The way the froth swirls and dips over the creamy milk makes it look like a shaped smiley, an imperfect latte art that would bubble away at the spur of a moment.
Latte art.
He knows someone who makes beautiful latte arts that can make him smile even if the art is a sulking character.
Someone..
•••
"You're just the one that I've been waiting for. I'll give you all that I have to give and more, but don't let me fall".
_lenka
Years ago in a cold village far far away..
One cold morning in early December, the main door of the Kim's residence opened. A raven haired boy with a red scarf loosely hanging around his neck peaked outside, frowning when he saw the person he was looking for crouching down the snowy ground somewhat entranced by something.
"Please Joonmyeon.. get inside. It's cold you know. You'll get sick." Jongdae coaxingly whined at his boyfriend, stepping out of the door and scuttled towards the other at the front yard.
Joonmyeon gracefully molded his work of art imperfectly. Sticking his tongue out in full concentration of his masterpiece and occasionally tilting his head from side to side deciding what to add.
"In a minute.. I'm not done making my Jongdae snowman yet." he patted his fingers to flattened the cold snow, shaping it in a firm
snowball.
Jongdae chuckled seeing his boyfriend busily working on his snowman. He bent down beside him, unwrapping his own red winter scarf and swaddled it around Joonmyeon's neck snugly.
When Jongdae threw the 3 feet tall snowman a look, he gapes seeing how his snowman version looks like. Joonmyeon glanced at him cheekily grinning at his jaw dropping expression.
"Joonmyeon, why is it that my snowman version have horns?" pointing at the two small twig mercilessly stuck into the small head of the snowman. Jongdae raises his eye brow at Joonmyeon who was sniggering in return.
"What? it looks cute." Joonmyeon squealed, prodding the cheeks of the snowman."and, you're evil at times so that's why."
"Me?! evil? when?" Jongdae pointed at himself skeptically shrieking but with an impish grin across his face."I don't do evil. it's bad."
Joonmyeon rolled his eyes snorting at his boyfriend's reply. He sprinkles black sands on top of the snowman's head making it look like the snowman's sand hair."You threw a big spider at me last night." he still hold grudges, he was quietly reading a book on Jongdae's bed when the said boy bumps into him with a big spider on hand. He almost had his first heart attack at 19. He hates spiders and Jongdae loves using his weakness against him for pranks sake.
Jongdae laughed out loud remembering."It was fun seeing you squirming behind me." his laughs wavered when Joonmyeon made an evil smirk across his snowman version's face using black chopped sticks.
"What's with that? I don't smile like that." he points.
"You do when your messing around." Joonmyeon said, putting some pebbles as buttons on the snowman's stomach. Cold steam breaths coming out of his mouth as he spoke."So this is the evil snowman that represents a part of you." he smiles, hands waving around with his crescent eyes checking Jongdae's glaring orbs.
"Wow, I'm insulted." Jongdae monotonously commented.
Joonmyeon fell back in his laughing fit seeing Jongdae's dejected expression. His soft giggles that resounding around the yard broke Jongdae's sulking spirit. His face lightens into a broad gummy smile watching Joonmyeon laugh.
"Oh! Hey I'm gonna make my own Joonmyeon version." Jongdae's i'm-up-to- something- face was shining brightly accompanied by his perky snickers. He walked around on the other side, while Joonmyeon held his giggles in and watch his boyfriend in amusement, a question in his eyes " What's he up to now?"
He observes him sitting and falling down over the cold snowy ground on his back, spreading all his extremities up and down with that shiny smile on his face.
Joonmyeon smoothers his giggles when he figured what Jongdae was doing.
"See? it's pretty isn't it?" Jongdae stood up after awhile, dusting his while preening at his magnificent work. Joonmyeon gracefully stood beside him smiling."It's a Snow angel." Joonmyeon notes seeing a snow angle as tall as Jongdae with it's wings spread up high.
"Ye-yeah, you-you kinda lo-ok like one." Jongdae softly mumbled, slurring in his words sounding and looking embarrassed when his own greasy thoughts of Joonmyeon made known.
Joonmyeon looked at his lover in wide eyes. His cheeks suddenly feels oddly warm in the middle of winter. Maybe because he was too happy seeing Jongdae scratching his head, blushing on the spot and covering his smiles. If the word 'charming' never existed, he doesn't know how to describe Jongdae at the moment. Now he thinks he's the evil one for making a devil Jongdae snowman while Jongdae made him a snow angel. The guilty thoughts made him pout, never noticing Jongdae's amused smile for catching his expression that the other considers cute and adorable.
Joonmyeon watches Jongdae calmly approaching, a gloved hand reaching out for him. Joonmyeon's cheeks ascends when his lover his left cheek warmly when he reached him."What? you don't like it?" Jongdae questioned, breathing his cold steams over Joonmyeon's parted lips.
Joonmyeon shook his head smiling."I love it." he glances back at the snow angel admiring it for a moment. When he noticed how quite the environment gotten, he gazes back at Jongdae only finding the other one looking at him intently. When he saw how Jongdae stares down at his lips with eagerness in his eyes, he knows what the other one wants next. Jongdae slowly leans an inch closer to Joonmyeon, his eyes closing as Joonmyeon complies to his boyfriend's unspoken request by snaking a hand around Jongdae's neck, having the same need to pull his boyfriend into a snowy kiss and,
"What are you kids doing?"
Joonmyeon jumped out of fright, pushing his boyfriend away out of shock hearing a deep voice approaching (Jongdae nearly stumbled on the ground but managed to balance his slim body with a smirk playing across his face) He turned to his left and saw his elder brother pattering his way towards them.
"Si-Siwon h-hyung." Joonmyeon gags, coughing awkwardly because,
Please tell me my brother didn't caught us almost kissing..
"Hi hyung!" Jongdae vehemently shouted a greeting. His brother nodded in acknowledgment, messing Jongdae's hair and Wrapping both his long arms around them.
"What are you kids up to huh?" Siwon asked, a teasing tone twirling around his words that Joonmyeon badly wanted to kick his brother back to his college university and let him spend christmas there alone.
"We made a snowman versions of us." Jongdae calmly said, pointing down at their lovely snowman's. Joonmyeon admires how Jongdae can easily masked his emotions in a snap of a finger while he usually can't.
Siwon laughed seeing the snowman's" Whoe, an angel and-- is that a freaky devil snowman or what?" he points at joonmyeon's art. Siwon's little brother who couldn't look straight into his brother's eyes nodded in response."Perfect combination." Siwon commented, panting his hands on the younger one's shoulder with a proud smile.
"Anyway Joonmyeon, I'm on my way to visit a friend down town. I left your meals inside the fridge so just heat them up okey?" his brother said while walking his way out of the yard."And I won't be back until later so the two of you, play nice." he said, his last words sounded more like a scary warning instead of playful.
"Ye-yeh hyung! " Joonmyeon answered, sighing in relief when his brother finally turned his back on them. When he turns to talk to Jongdae, he was met by a pair of cold lips kissing him noisily in a quick peck.
"Jongdae !!" he blushingly exclaimed, smacking Jongdae's giggling figure. He was taken aback."If my brother sees you--
"He'll squeal in envy." Jongdae singsong, sidestepping towards his art. He leans down his snow angel and draws a halo on top of the Angel's head with his forefinger. Joonmyeon shivered from feeling his stomach swirling in his insides like tornado. He bit his Lips to suppress the smile that threatens to show across his face as the warm kiss that Jongdae gave him left a warm tingling sensation over his lips.
Jongdae you playful troll..
He finally smiled all out from watching his boyfriend sulk seeing the halo he was making isn't the way he wants it to look like.
No matter how wisely mischievous Jongdae gets mostly 99% of the time, he can never admit it in front of his boyfriend that he loves that side of him along with the others.
Joonmyeon crossed his arms over his chest and tilts his head, cheekily smiling with his boyfriend's earlier sneaky tactics. They both made a deal to keep their hands off each other when elders are around. Even though they are openly accepted by both of their families, they wanted to show them they can be trusted around each other. They usually cuddle, hug and sweetly kiss each other when they are alone. ( sometimes the not so innocent Baekhyun who've never been taught how to knock, walks in on them and ended up screaming away shouting"Get a cave or live in an undiscovered planet for crying out loud can't you two lock a ing door?!" )
He smiled thinking about his best friend.
He observes how Jongdae engrossedly play with his snow angel. He started sniggering furtively when he thought of something. He crouches down, grabbed a handful of snow and shaped it into a ball. With an excited smile he threw it at the oblivious one, hitting Jongdae on his arm. Jongdae's feline eyes widen in a startle.
"O-ooh.. You did not just---
He threw another one hitting Jongdae's thigh. They stared back at each other until Jongdae gave him a sly smirk that indicates: run my darling. Be sure i won't catch you. Joonmyeon immediately sprinted away with a snow ball on hand because Jongdae was making his own snowball and plotting a revenge comeback."Someone wants to play." he hears him sing.
He ran around the house with Jongdae briskly trailing behind throwing missed snowballs at him. Their laughs and squeals filled the silent yard, the people passing by snickered along seeing them playing like children.
"Ooohhh.. Jongdae you missed." he pantingly giggled, hiding behind the big tree and peering at the surroundings.
"Missed on purpose!" Jongdae laughed somewhere behind the bushes.
Joonmyeon waited for awhile, suppressing his giggles. He looked around again when he noticed how the surroundings turned into a weird dead silent backyard.
"Jo-Jongdae?" he reluctantly came out of him hiding place. When no one threw a canon snowball at him he calmly stepped out sneaking around.
"Jongdae?" he called again, walking around their house and found no one.
Where is he?
He dropped his snowball with all his defenses down."Jongdae come out.. I'm not good with hide and seek okey?" he shouted, running to the car parked in front of their main door hoping his Boyfriend is hiding behind it. But Jongdae wasn't there dogging his body into a ball the way he imagined him to be.
"This isn't funny. Come out on a count of one, two, thre-----"
Joonmyeon turned to his right hearing someone coming behind him, he felt a big snowball hit his face in a fast force too powerful that it knocks him off the ground hitting his head on the snowy pavement with a loud thud.
Jongdae's booming laughs ceased once he saw Joonmyeon crying in pain on the ground.
"Agrrrhhhhhhh! my head ahhhhhh! Jongdae.... !" he yelped, shrieking in sheer pain. His hot tears prying out from his eyes in outmost discomfort while his body rolling from side to side, a hand behind his head.
"." cursed in shocked, Jongdae gulped hard witnessing his lover fell and currently crying in pain on the ground.
The next Joonmyeon heard was Jongdae rushing down screaming to his side and in every way carefully helping him up.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you on the face!" Jongdae worriedly stated, getting his boyfriend up on a standing position."Where? Tell me where it hurts.. Where Joonmyeon?Is it that bad? Let me see it. Do you feel dizzy? Let's go to the clinic...Joonmyeon?" he panicky cupped Joonmyeon's cheek in his palms, his heart shivering in guilt and fear gazing at his lover's timid sobbing.
Joonmyeon rests his head against's Jongdae's shoulder. His painful cries were gradually dying down."How could you do that? I didn't even hit you much harder earlier." he whined groggily, blaming his already guilty lover. Joonmyeon winces in pain when a wave of throbbing sensation spread across his head. He childishly points behind his head and whiningly saying that the pain was somewhere there.
Jongdae attentively checks it, he hugged Joonmyeon with his arm around Joonmyeon's waist at the same time bitting the tip of his free gloved hand, pulls his warm hand out bringing it to the spot Joonmyeon just pointed and the area tenderly, eager to see or feel any signs of bleeding. Thankfully, the thick snow covering the pavement saved Joonmyeon's head. He hugged Joonmyeon more tightly, relieved that his sobbing boyfriend isn't severely hurt. Jongdae continued caressing Joonmyeon's head even when Joonmyeon stopped screeching already and was now only hugging him back for his own comfort.
Joonmyeon looks down for Jongdae to get a clearer view of the injured portion behind his head. He felt soft lips pressed gently on the area along with Jongdae's comforting hums.
"I was aiming for your back. It didn't occurred to be that you'll be turning around and-- argh.. I'm sorry, Joonmyeon I'm sorry." Jongdae said the same words over and over, Joonmyeon's head to ease any remaining hurt there. Jongdae pulled away to check on Joonmyeon's face, tugging the bangs away and found his lover's usually pale face more paler and a bit red.
"I can't feel my face...." Joonmyeon pursed his lips, sniffing and rubbing his tear-soaked eyes. His face was all freezing cold and numb.
Jongdae unwrapped his arm around Joonmyeon's waist, pulled his other gloved hand out and rubbed both his palms together ( he let Joonmyeon leaned on him while he rubs his palms behind Joonmyeon's )to create some heat. When his palms felt warmer he cupped Joonmyeon's cold face in his warm palms, wiping away those hot tears that were b in Joonmyeon's crescent eyes.
"Ssssshhhh... I'm sorry." Jongdae sweetly cooed. He leanes forward, planting butterfly kisses on Joonmyeon's cheeks, nose, forehead until his lips landed on Joonmyeon's lips where it stayed for a fleeting moment.
Joonmyeon felt his face finally warming up. He smilingly nodded slowly.
"Let's get inside. We won't be playing snow games for the next 50 years."Jongdae swore, assisting his lover inside their warm house.
_ H.H
After 30 minutes of easing his headache, I didn't sustained a skull fracture right? he thought. Joonmyeon spent his afternoon sitting beside the warm fireplace, holding his hands out to feel more warmer. He sniffs noisily because Mr. Colds decided to pay him a little visit before christmas.Tugging the blanket around him, he heard Jongdae calling him from behind.
Jongdae sat beside him, handing him a warm steaming ceramic mug. He took it and cocked his head on the side when he saw a sulking face latte art over the creamy milk.
Jongdae's mom owns a coffee shop near their school. Jongdae works during weekends in their own shop, thus, having a lot of chances learning more about coffee and latte arts.
He smiled seeing the art. Smiling even more when Jongdae have the same sad frowning face beside him.
"I'm sorry and I love you?"Jongdae said unsurely playful, pouted cutely with a tilt of his head to the side like a little kitten with big dreamy sorry eyes, prodding Joonmyeon's thigh begging for forgiveness.
He laughed at him, muffling Jongdae's hair telling him he's forgiven, earning a tooth paste commercial smile from Jongdae .They sat quitely for a longer time, sharing their childhood experiences during christmas, eventually becoming silent again and just stare at the warm fireplace. Jongdae never let his eyes off his boyfriend, brushing his fingers on Joonmyeon's flexed knee, waiting patiently for him to finish up with his milk.
Joonmyeon places the mug over the nearby table when he was done, thanking Jongdae who was thoughtful enough to make him one. His raven haired boyfriend helpfully wiped some milk stains left over his lips, saying how clumsy he is at times.
"Come here so I can hold you warmly."Jongdae invitingly coaxed, leaning against the sofa behind him, hands pulling Joonmyeon closer to himself. Joonmyeon gingerly crawled beside Jongdae.
He rested his head over Jongdae's chest, arms wrapping around Jongdae's middle, snuggling much closer to the warmness of his lover's body. Jongdae attentively draped the thick blue blanket over them, embracing Joonmyeon securely around him.
Joonmyeon yawned, closing his heavy eyelids and falling deep into the humming rhythm of Jongdae's heartbeats.
"I know the perfect pen name for you."
"W-what?" he answered. Rubbing his closed eyelids while yawning.Their activity took a toll on his fragile body, made him even more sleepy beside Jongdae.
"Suho."
"Su-suho?" he yawned again, making Jongdae giggled, placing a quick kiss over the crown of his head.
"Yeah. it means Guardian. more like a guardian angel, I told you.. you resemble one." he whispered.
"You haven't even seen a real one." Joonmyeon smiled.
"Angel on earth, i met one. He's with me everyday. I even kissed him countless of times already." Jongdae wooed ticklishly in Joonmyeon's ears, gaining a series of giggles from Joonmyeon.
"What?" Jongdae laughed back.
Jongdae have his moments of trolling around, sometimes he'll be grumpy over small things and sometimes, his greasiness takes over when Joonmyeon least expect it.
But I love him anyway.
Jongdae said he'll shut up so Joonmyeon can have his afternoon nap. He's still guilty for throwing a big snowball at his lover.
Joonmyeon eyes were closed but he was alertly conscious of his surroundings. Jongdae probably thought Joonmyeon's finally fallen asleep because he can now feel Jongdae's cool minty breaths hovering over his parted lips.
Joonmyeon mentally smiled, counting 1-2 and,
Jongdae's thin lips were lightly pressed on his. Showering him tender pecks with soft smacking sound emitted between their lips. He wanted to laugh but really held back his giggles. Decided that He'll let Jongdae kiss him all he wants.
When Jongdae's thin lips nibbled his lower lip, ever so gently making sure his stolen kisses remained discreet as much possible as if Joonmyeon isn't aware of it already. Joonmyeon kept still.
Oh Jongdae, is this the reason why you'd always invite me over for naps?
Joonmyeon loves taking naps, specially during weekends.When he shared his usual habit to Jongdae, his boyfriend will always invite him to come over their house, telling him that his bed is warm and more comfortable to sleep on. ( which is basically true). He finally found the reason why and now he can't wait to about it.
When his lover's lips travelled to his upper lip, nibbling it a bit harder and longer, he did't move. Catching his breathing before it hitches, careful not to ruin his front. When he felt Jongdae's tongue sweepingly trying to pry his lips open, he couldn't hardly hold his whines anymore,"Jo-jongdae..." he moaned timidly making Jongdae's lips curved into a ghostly smile, pursing his lips and giving him another light peck.
With Jongdae's not really startled reaction,he suspects that maybe Jongdae knew he was still awake and just playing along with him.
Oh you troll..
"Jongdae.. I have a cold and my brother might walk in on us and--"
-and I don't care." Jongdae added his words, resuming on giving him loving pecks.
"He'll throw you out of the door."he whined, feeling Jongdae's coiled index finger tilting his chin up, for him to meet Jongdae's eager lips, and kisses him more languidly when their soft lips met.
"Your house have this magical portal called; The window." Jongdae hotly whispered in between their kissing lips. Joonmyeon squints his eyes, pausing from kissing to laugh at his lover's remarks. Jongdae was wise enough to kiss him when his lips are invitingly open for him to come in.
Joonmyeon moaned in their shared kiss, letting Jongdae's cool peppermint tongue slid in, mewling in pleasure when Jongdae slowly pinned his down beneath himself, propping an arm up to keep him from crushing onto Joonmyeon's tired body, getting absorbed on kissing Joonmyeon who was lying on the warm carpeted floor. His head was carefully placed over Jongdae's hand as his pillow.
He surrendered all his will up as Jongdae's tongue twirled perkily around his, drowning into their sweet kiss when he angled his head for Jongdae to kiss him more deeper, moving their tongues and lips in the same rhythm. Joonmyeon's heartbeat quickens when he himself shamelessy wrapped a hand around Jongdae's neck, pulling down against him, his other free hand clunching at the back of Jongdae's sweater, his kisses unconsciously getting needier and needier which Jongdae clearly noticed, smiling in the middle of giving him small kisses"Jo-Joonmyeon..?" Jongdae slurry called out his name, pulling away for a second to look at him.
They gazed at each other, mouths breathing over their lips. Both couldn't deny the heat flickering between them was getting more warmer than the fireplace. He smiled at Jongdae, seeing a new shade of crimson red tinges across his lover's cheeks. That look that he haven't seen before. He hauled his head up, surprising Jongdae with a quick kiss, catching the other one gulping in response.
"Le-let's stop here." Jongdae said, smiling patiently above him, kissing him on the forehead as he said so.
They talked about it. It was when he had a sleepover at Jongdae's place. Jongdae's mother wasn't at home that night due to work. Joonmyeon was busy reading a new book he just bought and Jongdae was the attention- lover who kept on pestering him with stolen kisses, distracting him in the middle of the of the book. When he got a little pissed, he pushed his troll lover over the bed, playfully suffocating him with kisses until Jongdae, who never wanted to lose on anything, retaliated even more aggressively reaching to the point that both of them couldn't stop anymore.
Before all their clothes gets thrown over the floor, Jongdae stopped when he saw how Joonmyeon look unprepared and a bit scared and he himself was getting reluctant to take their relationship to the next level. They both stopped in the middle of stripping each other( which was hard because both of them were heating up and almost on it.) they talked it out with a big space in between and almost . They've never been with anyone else before they met each other, earning a zero experience on the" let's get into a more intensely hot make up session aka. " department making both of them a pair of sitting ducks on the bed. After a moment of pondering about it, they decided that they'l be doing it when Joonmyeon is ready for it and Jongdae is certain to do it. Since then they're always in red alerts for intimate contact.
"You've been stealing kisses from me haven't you?" he asked with teasing smiles.
"Um, I honestly don't know what your talking about." Jongdae replied innocently, feigning a frown over him that made them both laugh.
They stayed in that position, Jongdae tugging his bangs away from his eyes, asking what kind of shampoo he uses because he likes the scent of it, telling about some corny jokes he already heard before but pretended to laugh like it was the first time he heard about it.
He continued to just unblinkingly stare at Jongdae's eyes. His facial features that he really find so perfectly beautiful. Those soft thin lips that tastes minty, enchantingly wonderful all the time their kissing, his prominent jawline that everybody admires. Jongdae's voice that he loves hearing even just by humming. Just staring at him and the words were already at the tip of his tongue.
"Jongdae--
--I love you too." Jongdae answered, smirking down on him.
His eyes widen.
How did he?
"How can you be so sure that those were the words I was about to say?" Joonmyeon questionably said, allowing Jongdae to reposition them back to their earlier position.
Jongdae hummed for awhile, his hand taking Joonmyeon arm, wrapping it around himself." When you're about to say those words, you have a particular expression on your face. So i subsequently know when it's coming." Jongdae replied, waving a hand over his face to stress his words.
"What expression?" Joonmyeon curiously looked over him while Jongdae pulled the fallen blanket and draped it back over them.
Jongdae just chuckled at him."It's for me to knowingly keep and for you to never find out."
"What?"
Jongdae hugged him closer, telling to give up because there was no way he will tell him. He let it slip for the meantime, and snuggled close to his lover. Jongdae's randomly tapping fingers caressing over his arm, his sweet silent night hums slowly lulling Joonmyeon to sleep.
•••
"A-are you crying?"
Joonmyeon sheepishly smiled at Kyungsoo, placing the untouched warm milk on the free space between him and the head stylist, wiping his tears he didn't even felt falling.
"Sorry. It's-- the weather I suppose." sniffling,dryly laughing at his excuse. Kyungsoo laughs with him, glints of concern written all over his face as he keeps staring at Joonmyeon trying his best to look happy.
"If you want to talk about something, anything.... you can tell me." Kyungsoo blinks, fingers zipping his mouth in a gestures that he won't ever tell anyone. Joonmyeon laughed even more, but slowly ceasing into soft giggles and bitter smile.
"Kyungsoo?"
Kyungsoo finishes his coffee and scoots closer."Yeah?"
"What if someone from your past.... Someone you really really loved, left you and suddenly shows up again."Joonmyeon starts,"What- what would you d-do?"
The saucer eyed Kyungsoo smiled at his question."It depends."
"It depends?"
"It depends if I still love that person." Crossing his legs, Kyungsoo leaned back looking at the other."If I do, and the circumstances are in my favor, then to hell with pride. I'll take that person back no matter what."
Joonmyeon bit his bottom lip, looking away from Kyungsoo and gazed at the gloomy sky."But- what if you-- don't?"
"Then nothing."
"Nothing?"
Kyungsoo nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and shivering a little."Because there's nothing to worry about. I'll treat him as normal as I usually do in the past, or probably interact with him professionally." He blew some cold steams, seeing Joonmyeon's uneasy posture at his peripheral vision."You still love him don't you?
"What?!"Joonmyeon almost fell over the bench."N-o! I-mean its - its not me." frantically waving his hands and shaking his head. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes with a knowing smile.
"Suho, I know our relationship isn't as close like the kind of bond you have with Baekhyun and Luhan, but we've been working for many years together and i can perfectly read your transparent expressions." he deadpanned. Joonmyeon was at lost of words looking back at kyungsoo.
Drooping his head, staring keenly at the floor."Why do people leave Kyungsoo?" he couldn't help but ask, ignoring the last subject they left off.
"People? is that a loved one? a boyfriend perhaps?"
"Ah-whichever" He hemmed. Kyungsoo pops his mouth cutely, humming for a minute before turning to Joonmyeon's waiting gesture.
"Two reason." He said with his two fingers." For me, there's only two reasons why people or someone we love leaves us."
"Firstly, because he doesn't love you anymore."
Joonmyeon held his breath in. The words in a weird and stupid way, were slowly crushing his heart in a manner he already felt before, countless twinges in his chest that hits the right painful feeling inside. He remained still, praying not to feel his tears b."And- the se-cond?"
"The second reason is," Kyungsoo pauses for a long moment that Joonmyeon turns to taunt him to say it.
"He left because he loves you so much."
"What?" he baffled.
"You heard me." Kyungsoo sniggering beside Joonmyeon who look even more confused.
"Bu-but that's insane! Why would you leave someone if you love him so much in the first place?"His forehead wrinkling, perplexed by Kyungso's words that he couldn't seem to accept. The wide eyed boy just shrugged his shoulders in response.
"Ask, and you'll know." Kyungsoo sagely hums. Joonmyeon wanted to ask more but decided to let the topic go and shut up.
Ask? ask Jongdae? no way.
Joonmyeon closes his eyes, deep breathing on his seat.Wishing the answer to his question will be there when he opens his eyes.
"Joonmyeon?"
Kyungsoo handed him the cup of milk." Drink. It's going to get cold if you don't." He said, pouting at Joonmyeon that made himself giggle.
"Yea---"
Joonmyeon caught his own words up, looking through Kyungsoo and saw Jongdae walking out of the exit while glancing at his wrist watch every now and then. He look perturbed over something, gazing around craning his neck, visibly waiting or looking for someone.
Joonmyeon fights the urge to call him. Just like the way he calls out for him when he sees Jongdae waiting for him at the school gates after school. Jongdae will wave his hand just like what he's currently doing, he'll smile that megawatt smile of his when he sees him, and then he'll shout out his name,
"Lay!!"Jongdae shouts.
Joonmyeon's giggled, feeling extremely pathetic.
It's Lay now.
"Is-is that chen's boyfriend?" Kyungsoo asked, watching the tall slim man running across the airport, waving his hand up, meeting Jongdae midway. Yixing's dimples shows how happy he is seeing his boyfriend with arms stretched, waiting for him.
"Hey that's your boyfriend's friend right? Yixing? was it?" Kyungsoo chuckled at how Jongdae hugged Yixing, lifting him off the ground heaving his physical strength to lift the dimpled man, giggling when he couldn't.
"Y-Yeah. That's... that's his boyfriend."Joonmyeon nodded, turning his back at them."K-Kyungsoo, i-im gonna go. I don't feel well to-day." stepping away from the bench and stretching his arm to call for a cab.
"Wh-what?" kyungsoo turned to look at Joonmyeon calling for a cab in a hurry like a demon is bound to eat him if he can't get inside a cab and leave right away. He could hear Joonmyeon's sniffles, the sound of clearing his throat and forcibly breathing hard like his lungs were deteriorating. He could sense something's off with his co-worker, but stayed quite and helped him get a cab."I'll just talk to them for you and, Oh wait the --"
Kyungsoo skittered back to the bench they just occupied and picked the cup of hot milk he specially bought for Joonmyeon.
"Here."He held Joonmyeon's cold hand and cups it around the warm drink."Please drink this. okey?"
A taxi stopped in front of them. Joonmyeon smiled at his thoughtful friend, nodding gratefully.
"Thank you Kyungsoo."
Kyungsoo opened the door for him, warning the driver to better take him home and not anywhere else. His bulging eye sockets must've gotten into the driver because the old man never stopped nodding even when Kyungsoo stepped back, waving him a take care and rest well hand.
Joonmyeon sat there, telling himself not to look at Jongdae and Yixing when the vehicle he is riding, ran passed them.
But his stupid eyes still did anyways.
And there they were, sweetly kissing outside the exit door, heedless of the lookers around them.
•••
Joonmyeon finally arrived at their apartment. His shivering fingers(whether it was due to the freezing temperature or the paralyzing pain that's been eating him from the inside, he doesn't care much to even think about it) fiddled at the wrong security combinations, getting an annoying error alert every five seconds. He genuinely wanted to destroy the entire thing ( to damn with security. Who needs it when they have Luhan?) if he hears another graveling sound.
Click
He lumbered inside the apartment, both feet weakening, and eventually gave up on him just right after he got inside. His body broke down, falling limply on the floor.
I don't love you anymore.
Jongdae... you could've just said those words straight.
I'd understand. hard, I will really really try hard if that's what will make you happy.
"But no, you just left." He mumbled, his nose were too clogged either due to the environment again, or how he cried too much on his way home. He bumped his head against the wall, slumping down and restlessly crying his heart out.
He curled up into a ball, resting his head on his knees with arms wrapped around. He was feeling so scared again, so alone and empty. The images of Jongdae's happy smile seeing Yixing, and the way he called his name and how he tried to lift him up, it was tearing his heart into pieces again and again because in a lot of ways,
He's like that. He used to look at me like that.
His loud sobs never wanted to stop, no matter how he tried biting his lips together to dump all the stupid screams inside. He'll eventually cry out, louder than the first.
He was feeling it again,
emotionally dying.
Joonmyeon didn't flinched a joint or a muscle. He stayed there brooding on the floor until he heard a heavy thud not so far from where he was being killed by his emotions.
He snapped his head up to look around his surrounding. His heart's frightened to the thought that someone might've sneaked into their apartment. He was sure, the three of them left that morning, even Luhan shouting how he will play with guns to release his stress away the entire day, left early.
When saw a watery silhouette of someone sitting on their bright green sofa not too far from him, he rubbed his eyes, wiping his tear-soaked orbs to get a clearer view of a honey haired man, pale skin, in his casual home body clothes. The pretty boy was sitting on the sofa, his saggy hand drooping down like he was about to pick the dropped book that was now calmly lying on the floor. He was gaping at him.
"Lu--Luhan.." He cried, clambering across the floor in desperate need to be near a friend, Luhan.
The pretty boy blinks frighteningly at Joonmyeon, picking up a magazine on the table and lying down on the sofa, turning his back on him while flipping the pages, busying himself rather than talk to Joonmyeon.
Joonmyeon kneeled beside his friend, facing Luhan's back.
"Luhan..."
Luhan flipped a page.
"I know you're mad."
Luhan flipped another page.
"But please, talk to me."
Luhan flipped six pages all at once.
"I'm sorry."
Luhan shut the magazine closed and picked a random reading article on the table because the poodle hair of the girl model irritated his eyes.
"For forcing you to apologize."
Luhan flipped a page of the new mag.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you and--"
Luhan cursed on the sofa, throwing the reading material he just grabbed because it was a magazine that belongs to Baekhyun. He gritted his teeth thinking how he will chop Baekhyun's bright future for never listening to him to keep his guilty pleasures inside him own damn room and not carelessly leaving it scattered around the living room like some random knowledge-filled newspapers. He gruntingly picked a much decent magazine and lied down again, back turned.
"I'm sorry, if your mad at me for defending Jongdae.. but Luhan, you almost killed him and ..."
Luhan rips the entire prada page because the hell he didn't liked the boy who modeled for the latest prada shoes. The way the model posses just destroyed the brand he's modeling, what the hell was the photographer thinking?
"Okey, your right. I am affected. Jongdae's back. That boy," voice hitches uttering the name of his past lover."The reason why i cried so much for three years is here and LUHAN PLEASE !!! I NEED A FRIEND RIGHT NOW STOP IGNORING ME!!" He whimpered, tugging Luhan's loose shirt and hugging the other's waist, eventually sobbing hard.
Luhan threw his magazine and sat up, looking down at Joonmyeon. His pretty features that were contorted in a scary scowl was only momentarily flickering because when he saw how Joonmyeon's crying so hard on the floor, shoulders shuddering, eyes red and b, his heart stirringly feels like crying too.
"Joonmyeon.." Luhan rushed to help him up beside him, embracing his crying friend close to him, rubbing his back in circles letting Joonmyeon's tears drench his shirt."Sssshhhhh.."
"He deserves it I know, but you shouldn't've hurt him like that Luhan."
Luhan sighed deeply, pulling himself
back and frowned looking at Joonmyeon's puffy eyes, red lips and flushed cheeks.
"I love you Joonmyeon. We love you. You can't expect us to give Jongdae a warm welcome after what he did to you! Especially me!!" Wailing, Luhan wipes Joonmyeon's tears that couldn't seem to stop falling. Now he regret ever ignoring him for the past week and more.
"When I met you 6 years ago, you were constatly crying and missing him so much. You were at the verge of throwing your life away, and that night when you almost did, I swore in front of my grandmother's grave that I'll kill that jock who left and made you cry every ing night! Because such a kind and gentle person like you don't deserve to be left out like that without a letter or a ing text of explanation! and it hurts me seeing you cry, it hurts me seeing you like this Joonmyeon.." Luhan exasperatedly said, also crying along with Joonmyeon, both of them now sniffling together.
Joonmyeon sobs even more, hugging Luhan again. Happy that his friend is finally back.
"No one can walk away, hurt my friends and comes back like nothing happened, Joonmyeon. Cause I'm sure as hell I'm gonna them to their death beds!" Luhan scornfully said, cooing Joonmyeon to be calm and stop crying.
"I'm sorry for acting stupid like that Luhan. It's just that, Jongdae is like the resurrected loved one i buried 6 years ago. It's hard seeing him again. it's hard having him around as my ordinary co-worker when he left me so much memories that keeps on haunting me in my waking life Luhan. I know, I'm not supposed to feel this way because it's been 6 years, and I'm happy with my life, but Luhan.. I do! I feel terrible!" He shouted, crying on Luhan's shoulders, holding on. He felt Luhan nodding behind him, telling him that he's with him and he'll help him get through it all.
"I'm sorry for leaving you behind, and ignoring you like that. I was so mad." Luhan apologetically stated.
"I-I understand Luhan."
Their mumbles got interrupted by the noise of a bag getting thrown on the table. They reluctantly pulled away and saw a brunette man pouting at them.
"You guys!! crying and hugging without me! my heart is wounded!" Baekyun screamed, hand clutching over his chest, his eyes looked bleary and no, its not the expression of a boy who got ditched on his first date. It's more like an expression of a boy who saw his loved one cheating on him.
"Get away from my best friend you evil emperor Xi Luhan!" He frantically pushed Luhan off Joonmyeon, but unfortunately getting a kicked out from Luhan instead.
"You're an expert moment ruiner Baekhyun. I bet you know that." Luhan remarkedly snarled, pulling Joonmyeon into his embrace again never allowing Baekhyun to touch his Joonmyeonie.
"And FYI. Joonmyeonie considers me as the BEST friend."Luhan added, smiling at Joonmyeon with puppy eyes.
Baekhyun got up from the floor"Psssh! The delusion princess is talking. Quite people quite." He shouted, looking around as if there's an army of people inside their living room.
"Its true. Right Joonmyeonie?Tell him i'm the best! quick!" Luhan nudges.
Joonmyeon sighed.
They're at it again.
"Excuse yourself. He met me first and he considers me as his best best friend." Baekhyun retorts, arching his brows at Luhan.
"But I made you two closer when I came along. right Joonmyeon?" Luhan smiles at Joonmyeon cutely.
Joonmyeon preferred to remain silent. His response will only fuel up the never ending best friend feud between the two.
"Move Manny Pacquiao." Baekhhyun patted Luhan's knees making the deer eyed boy unwillingly inched away from Joonmyeon as the brunette boy in between Joonmyeon and him.
"Manny Pacqiao?" who's that?" Luhan questioned, wasn't happy how Baekhyun choke-Hug his Joonmyeonie in front of him.
"He is a Filipino boxer who is considered an octuple champion for winning eight different weight classes."Baekhyun shared,"The entire KBS were talking about you. You were papappapapang!!" Punching his fits up and creating his on boxing sound effects.
Joonmyeon smiled a little while Luhan looked like an old massacred woman.
"Who the hell spread this rumor?!" the honey haired boy stomped in anger. His emotional mood was gone and his raging madness was slowly taking over. He can't tolerate rumors like such's. Only words of appreciation of his beauty and awesomeness are acceptable. Not how wild and violent he is.
"I did!! haha!" Baekhyun raised his proud slim hand like a student in class and laughing at Luhan's face.
"Why you-------" Luhan gritted his teeth. Instead of punching Baekhyun straight across the face like his evil mind's telling him to do, he walked straight to Baekhyun's room."Say goodbye to your eyeliner collections because all of them are moving into a new apartment called the luxurious trashcan."
Baekhyun's eyes widen, fearfully squealing and on his feet to rescue his babies.
Joonmyeon's little smile turned into a wide one and turning into low giggles. The two bickering people in the room held back their hands from pulling each others eyelashes out when they heard their problematic friend softly laughing.
They watched him giggled with a smug on their pretty faces for successfully cheering Joonmyeon on. But their victory was short-lived when Joonmyeon shook his head, looked down and sniffly wiping his free-flowing tears.
Luhan and Baekhyun sighed disappointedly. It hurts them seeing their always smiling friend whooping around. It reminded them of a heart wrenched Joonmyeon 5-6 years ago who couldn't eat and sleep properly. The two of them made a quick run on who will comfort Joonmyeon first, with Luhan winning and hugging Joonmyeon lovingly, whispering comforting words while the loser Baekhyun was hissing in pain when Luhan forcefully pushed him off. He came into an intimate face to face contact with the floor after rolling down the cold sturdy ground like a ping pong ball.
He sat behind Joonmyeon after the post traumatic pains he experienced and back hugged Joonmyeon. Trying to scrape Luhan's wrapped arms around Joonmyeon but only got slapped away by Luhan's defensive hand.
The three of them cuddled with each other on the sofa, giving Joonmyeon all the comforts he needed. Luhan suggested they should sleep together in one bed for the night ( he was only offering his bed to Joonmyeon. Baekhyun snuggled with them as the uninvited bed spacer in Luhan's room) with the rest of the two agreeing. Joonmyeon ended up being sandwich squeezed by his best friends.
One of the hundred things he loves about his friends is that, they argue and whacks each others faces in their day to day life. They piss each other off, throw insulting words and wages war against each other ( mostly Luhan and Baekhyun). But always fall back into each other's protective embrace when one of them needs love, comfort, support and even a punch of sense with a good five hours of lecture from a friend.
"Thanks guys." He murmured in the middle of the two beings hugging him in their sleep.
***
Annyeong my fellow suchen lovers!
Missed me??
Sorry, this chapter took a lot of days before finally posting it. Hehe
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and somehow quenched your suchen thirsts. ^^ hey sorry for the awesome grammar mistakes though. I'm not a native dollar speaking D:
I'm sorry if I always give late comment replies. T_T but I'll always answer back your comments or whatsoever. THats for sure ^^
Thank you guys! to those who left their lovely comments! ALL OF YOU MADE ME SMILE AND HAPPY I'll WORK HARD TO MAKE THE FUTURE CHAPTERS WORTH SQUEALING FOR. haha LOL and to my silent readers, thank you for reading! but I hope you guys will somehow leave a Comment before this fic ends. ;( I really want to read about your thoughts.
so, THANK YOU GUYS! until next time! ^^ oh and one quick question,
What can you say about Jongdae and Joonmyeon's past relationship? ^^
Hope you'll answer back guys. :)
take care of yourselves! eat well and be a good human being(s)! :p
bye!
Yours truly,
k.
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