Zelo slowly packed up his things into his backpack and waited for his friends to leave the room before heading to Jilin’s desk. She was acting like she was asleep. Her hood was pulled over her eyes, arms crossed and legs propped up on her desk. She looked up and smiled, “Hey. Anyone in here?”

“No.” He sat down in front of her and sighed, “Look, about that tutoring, you can come over to my place today. My parents aren’t home and I think they’d freak out if they saw you…” His voice drifted but she giggled and waved her hand.

“I understand. Ok, I’m sure Zico-oppa wouldn’t mind me being an hour or two late.”  She picked up her bag-which hadn’t been open since the end of lunch and slung it over her right shoulder. “Do you think anyone will suspect us walking out of the school at the same time?” She teased, raising a brow. He went red but she smiled again, “I’m joking Junhong. I’ll trail behind you.” Nodding, he walked out, hearing her footsteps behind him. Just as they thought, there were still people talking outside the doors and the open yard below the steps.

He didn’t expect it-oddly-but some people called rude comments to Jilin about her brother and her life. Junhong looked back, but her head was held high and she seemed unfazed by the words spat to her. So he kept going, pushing past the gate and walking down the sidewalk. Once they were likely out of sight, Jilin sped up to come beside him. He sighed and pressed on the knot in his nape and groaned. Then he turned to her, “You ok?”

She shrugged off her hood and re-adjusted her sleeves, “Yea. That’s nothing-.” She paused and pointed, “I thought you said…neither of your parents were home.”

Zelo looked up and drove a hand roughly through his hair, “.” His mom’s black Daewoo Magnus was parked in the driveway. He turned to her and gave an apologetic look, noticing her slightly nervous glance to the door. “Jilin… Wait outside for a few minutes ok?” She nodded and leaned against the house, sighing. Zelo went inside and called out, “Omma?!”

“Yes! I’m in the kitchen!” She waved and smiled, “Do you want a snack?”

He smiled nervously and stretched his arms, “Omma…I thought you were coming home late again. Dad even left a note on the fridge for me saying you both wouldn’t be home until dinner time.”

She scoffed and waved her hand, “Oh. Your Appa must’ve forgotten that I was let off early today. My schedule was weird. Why? Are you going out again?”

“Um…” He paused and looked outside briefly, “No. I think I’m gonna go up to my room and study for the finals. I-I’ll see you later.” Hurrying up the stairs, he stripped off his tie and ran to his room. He opened up the window and called out, “Jilin! Over here!” She hurried over and sighed.

“Oh god! Junhong?!” She fluffed her hair and looked around, “What do you want me to do? Climb the wall?”

He shrugged and jutted out his bottom lip, “That’d be pretty helpful. I don’t want my Omma to see you-she might freak out and scream.” She nodded and looked around. She kicked and tried shaking a nearby tree to see if it was stable. It didn’t budge. She jumped up, grabbing the nearest branch that was a few inches taller than her and pushed her legs up, swinging onto the next branch. The sturdy branch supported her well, she looked over at him.

“Back up. I’m gonna land on your bed-hopefully.” He did so. She threw her backpack in first before she ran forward, ducking through the window and rolling onto the floor, missing her mark by an inch or two. “Aw. Damn it missed my mark.” She got up though and picked up her backpack, “Oh well. Let’s get started?” She looked around his room and crossed her arms, “Plain room you got here. Except for these bright green walls.” Her finger traced a pattern on the wall beside his black dresser.

Zelo shrugged, “Green is my favorite color, and I’m a pretty forward person.”

She sat on his bed, crossing her legs and digging through her backpack, “Zico tells me tricks on how to figure people out.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.” She took out her books and looked up, “It’s all the way they talk, where they live and their body language.”

He straightened his back and looked down at her, smiling, “Then, can you guess what kind of person I am?”

Jilin shifted to look at him and rubbed her chin. She bit her lip and looked at him up and down, “I can try. Sometimes, it can take a while. Other times, you can really tell. Now come on, I wanna study.”

Zelo sat down and sighed, “I’ve never heard anyone say that before.”

“Well…I’m not like any others.” She watched him sit down and smiled a bit, “Where are we starting?”

“Starting with the hardest first-math.”

-----

“Jilin…get back here!” Zelo groaned and cuddled his face into his gray pillow and lazily gestured for her to come back on the bed, “You didn’t answer me yet!”

She was by the window, watching some leaves pass by and checking her phone, “But Junhong!” She hissed, “It’s so hard. My brain is going to explode. I had no idea it would be this hard.”

He shifted so he could see her and noticed her sweatshirt was off on his desk chair, leaving her in a tank top and her ripped jeans, “Did you think it would be easy?”

Shrugging, she turned back, jutting out her left leg and crossing her right over it, “I just thought it’d be easier. Dude, look at me-I’m sweating-exhausted!” Her forehead was shiny, chest heaving and face flushed. She her lips and stared back outside, “My head is killing me.” She pressed on her temples and groaned.

“Come back here,” He sat up and patted the spot in front of him. She hesitantly obeyed, “I’m not gonna you. Just sit here.” She pushed his head back while sitting down. “Move your hair to the front.” She did so, revealing faint scars shining in the light. He widened his eyes a bit and traced the longest one leading from one shoulder to the other. She let out a short moan and turned towards him.

“What the are you-?!”

He cut her off sharply, “How’d you get it?” She paused.

“W-What?”

“How’d you get the scar? I mean, it’s so big. How deep was it?”

She tucked a piece of hair out of her face and gulped, “Um…my Appa cut me, when I was ten years old. “ He widened his eyes but she continued, “He and Zico were fighting, and it was getting really rough. Zico was nearly fifteen then… The idiot took a knife and threatened to kill me. Zico wasn’t strong enough to stop him from getting me from behind and pulling it across my skin. But, his anger was enough strength. Zico…threw him off me and picked me up-took me to the hospital.” She sighed jagged breath and rubbed her cheeks, “It was really deep, and I could’ve died. But I didn’t, and I’ve never seen Zico so happy… After that, Appa committed suicide… Left everything to me and Zico. The money, the house, everything.” She didn’t cry, which surprised him only a bit. A tear would’ve been acceptable, but then again, this was the newest SAK member-who kicked Seungri’s the night before.  “He was always out of it ever since my Omma left. I suppose, I feel better that he’s at peace.” Zelo nodded and took a hold of her shoulders, rolling them with his hands.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” His thumbs worked out obvious knots in her shoulders blades.

He could see her eyes close and she let out a small sigh, “Don’t be. You know, that term ‘I’m sorry’ gets old… Plus, Zico takes good care of me. He’s been raising me to be a good fighter; he’s never letting me go since we’re our only family left. He doesn’t want me to be like those dolls everyone sees in school.” She continued in a whisper, “God, I can’t even dream being one of those girls. Too cliché and it’s not my style.” Zelo chuckled. Jilin leaned her back closer to him and moved her hair again, her fingertips touching his, “Thanks for helping me out Junhong. For a school kid…you’re a good fighter. And you’re really good at acting. I have to tell you that.” He grinned.

“It takes practice.” He joked, continuing to press into her shoulders and massage out the tension. There was silence; the only sound was her soft humming. Carefully, he traced her scar again, and she let him. He imagined the pain she had went through, the unbelievable events she had been through. But he couldn’t. He’s never been through anything close to her pain and her life. His parents were together, neither dead, he was an only child; the only scar he had was from getting a minor cut from when he had first joined the SAK, he had two lives while she stayed loyal to the life her brother wanted for her. He had no idea what it was like being her…they were so different.

The loud ringing shocked both, Zelo squeezing her shoulders tightly but she didn’t seem to care. Jilin looked down and picked up her phone from the sheets. Looking at the text, she got up and shoved her books into her backpack, “I have to go.” She said quietly, almost with a hint of regret.

“What? But we’re not done yet.” He whined.

She looked at him, her eyes suddenly serious, “Zico needs me home, Junhong. I have to go,” Her gaze dropped, “we don’t all have regular lives.” And suddenly, he remembered why she wanted to study so hard. To prove herself to everyone who doubted her. She mentioned knowing about trying to impress peers and family and knew, she had completely different peers than he did. Being Zico’s sister, she must’ve had a tough life fitting in. “Yo, Junhong.” She waved at him.

“Sorry…”

“Can you check to see if I can walk out normally?” He nodded and opened the door to his room. His parents’ voices were coming from his father’s office.

“It’s safe. I’ll walk you out.” She walked briskly down the steps, with him closely behind. They reached the door and he stopped her, “Wait.” His fingers brushed her still bare shoulder and he felt her stiffen, “Um…do you want to come back tomorrow?”

She flashed a small smile, “Yea. We still have a lot of work to do, Junhong.” He nodded, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Waving, she ran off quickly. She was fast, which would come in handy. He closed the door and his mom came outside.

“Junhong, who were you talking to in your room? I thought I heard another voice in your room the past couple hours.”

Zelo shrugged, “I was helping a friend out on homework-through the phone. Yea, she wants to get a good grade on the finals since she’s a new girl.” His mother took a seat on the couch and tilted her head.

“Oh, that sounds nice. Must be a really nice girl, eh, Junhong?” He saw her smirk.

He smiled and dug a hand into his pocket, “Yea…yea, she is.” But in reality, he knew he could never have Jilin meet any of his parents or have people know what they were doing. Not only would he get criticism, but she would be put down as well. It would ruin their lives, mostly his… But he was still worried for her.

“Well, I hope she’s a good girl for my boy.” She smirked and stood up, “Hungry?”

He nodded, “Yea. Sure, I’m starving.” He sat down at the counter and moved his thumbs through the gap between both hands, “Hey Omma?”

“Yea?”

“Did you hear…about the new SAK member? Jilin?”

She nodded and sighed, “That sixteen year old girl. Zico’s little sister. Oh god, I can only imagine how she’s living like that. How sad.” He tensed and shifted in his seat. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up, but it was too late, so he let his mother ramble on. “She must be getting a lot of bad attention.” She shook her head and clicked her tongue, “I swear, people in the SAK want to be bad-mouthed. They’re an ignorant, vicious, nasty group of people. They fight all Sunday night while people like you,” she pointed to her son, “are studying and helping your friends. They shouldn’t let that little girl join the SAK, she’ll most likely be killed.” She looked up and smiled, coming up to tousle his hair and kiss his head, “I’m so proud of you Junhong. Kids like Jilin aren’t fit to be in this world.”

Again, the guilt. The regret in trying to convince his mom for the hundredth time that the SAK wasn’t so bad. The feeling that he should stand up for the people who’ve taken him in. The feeling that he should tell his parents what secret life he’s been hiding from them. But he didn’t, he couldn’t and that’s what made his emotions mostly guilt. Here she was, saying how good of a boy he was for studying, getting good grades and making ‘use’ of himself when he was part of that ‘ignorant, vicious, nasty group’ she keeps describing. He loved the SAK, loved making his parents proud, but he couldn’t give up either one. Zelo managed a tight smile and said, “Thanks Omma…”

“Why asking, Junhong?”

He frowned again and crossed his arms over the counter, “Just wondering…” He should just stop trying to convince his mother. She would never accept this second life of his, the one where it rids of all his stress and worries. In an odd way, there were benefits and negatives to both lives. Maybe…maybe he preferred his fall-back life over the original. But he wasn’t sure still. He couldn’t be sure and he never will. His lives were separate, one dangerous, one was safe.