Jilin sighed against the desk and tapped her fingers against it. Her eyes were lazy and tired, “Jilin!” She looked up. The instructor had called her name out and had given a simple geometry question on the board, “Answer this for me please. Remind the class about what this is.” He traced a line in a circle

People around the room snickered: “She can’t do that.” “She’s too stupid.” “What’ll be her witty comment?” “She’s just a y body.” Jilin gripped her hands together and sighed. Why did people think that this extremely simple problem would stump her? She spoke softly:

“It’s called a chord sir. It connects two points on either side of the circle. Not to be mistaken with a diameter, which is as big as the circle, sir.” She felt Zelo’s foot tap hers gently and she smiled.

People whispered amongst each other and the teacher continued with the lesson. Jilin twirled her pencil in between her fingers, exhaling and biting her lip. The teacher sighed as his phone rang and answered, “Room 210? ...Oh, yes sir.” He hung up the call, “The Headmaster needs to see me. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Please talk amongst yourselves until I come back.”

Jilin rolled her eyes. When the teacher walked out, Hell would break loose. And it was already on the brink of exposure as the door echoed behind him. A girl called out, “Yah! Gang ! You should make a run for it now while you still can.”

She scoffed and turned back to look at the girl, “And you should shut the Hell up before I ninja kick your plastic .” She was one of those girls who were popular, so her tougher male friends stood up, “You need people to protect you? What a dependent .”

Zelo almost cussed as Changjo stood up, being the like usual, “Hey! Sit down! Like you should be talking. You hang around your stupid brother and douches in those gangs!” Her eyes widened and she punched him square in the jaw, pulling out her rings. Zelo gasped and stood up, grabbing her waist and pulling her behind him.

“Oh gosh. Calm down, Jilin.” She scowled.

“He insulted my brother. I don’t care if he’s your friend! I’m sorry.” She hissed.

Someone else called, “Oh? Junhong…! Are you two dating?!”

The class buzzed about the thought. Zelo gulped. He shouldn’t have done that, his image was in jeopardy. He blurted out, “No! We’re just friends, for God’s sake. My parents wouldn’t approve, my friends wouldn’t approve and I wouldn’t date someone I knew wouldn’t make them happy! She’s not my type anyway! I wouldn’t date a gang girl! No way!” Right when he said it, he felt awful afterwards. The Junhong in him worried more about their image than anything. But Zelo knew better than that. He turned to look at Jilin but she answered the phone that rang.

“Oppa…Now?” She glared at him, “Ok…Zelo?” She scoffed and turned around, walking towards the door, “I’ll find him. He’s nowhere near me right now.”

“Wait. Ji!” He called after her, “Ji wait! I didn’t mean it!” His voice echoed through the halls but she didn’t stop until she reached the front door.

“You’re an you know…”

“Ji…I didn’t mean it. You know how I feel.”

She shook her head and turned to him, “Look, I’m sorry. But, I didn’t know that this would happen. I didn’t know you were ashamed of who you really were. I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t think you cared though. I thought you were the proud, confident person you were in front of me, who didn’t care about what others thought of you. But just like everything else, I was ing wrong.” She wanted to slap him. So hard, that he’d cry. But she forced herself not to; she had to stay dignified.

He already felt self-conscious at her words. They stung at him like daggers piercing deeply in his skin. He didn’t show the pain, except in his eyes, “Please…I didn’t mean it like that…” He muttered to the ground, “It’s just…-“, He took in a sharp breath and leaned against the wall, “It’s-“

“I get it.” He shook his head, hanging it low. How could he look at her? “But it’s time to grow up and decide where you want to go. I have already.” She snapped and shoved past him. It wasn’t much, but it hurt, it made the pain worse. He watched her leave, tears threatening to fall as the sound of the banging door echoed in the air. Zelo was living in two worlds; she wanted him to choose which one he was committed to… But he just didn’t know anymore.

Jilin slammed the door shut and took deep breaths, trying to get a hold of her anger. Zico didn’t notice as he ran forward, “You’re ok. Good. We need to leave.”

She raised her head, “What?”

“Yeah. SHINee got back up. Too many we can handle. We’re fleeing to the States.” He pulled hair away from her face, “I know you wanted to finish school. I’m sorry; I just can’t risk your life here. I’m sorry, Ji.”

Jilin touched his hands and nodded, “I understand Oppa. I just don’t want to lose you…I’ve lost so much already.”

He looked behind her and out the window, “Where’s Zelo?”

She dropped her gaze, “He’s choosing something. Something important. If he comes, he comes. If not, that’s too bad.”

Zico narrowed his eyes, “What happened?”

She shrugged and pushed past him, “Nothing. I’m gonna pack for both of us.” Jilin went into her room and closed her eyes, screaming in her mind for Zelo to return quickly. Or at least choose her over his s and peers. She thought that he meant the words he spoke to her that morning. Sure, they didn’t know each other long but you didn’t need to. Love was something that you know you feel.

Her hands slowly packed everything she had into her suitcases and his were packed as well. Jilin pulled her school clothes off and dressed into baggy sweats and a t-shirt. She wasn’t in a good mood. To be honest, she kinda knew that Zelo really did care about his image. He was the good boy and she was the bad girl. He lived in her world but also lived in his own world. Which one did he want? She wanted to know he cared for her.

“Jilin! You and the others of B.A.P need to go shopping for extra stuff. Is that ok?” Zico asked, opening the door.

She nodded and stood, “Yeah. I’ll go. Give me a second.” Jilin fixed herself up and whispered to herself, “Don’t cry, or tell them. Don’t. Stay strong.” She left her room and bowed to her leader on the way out, but CL grabbed her arm, “Unnie?”

“Where’s Zelo?”

“He left for something,” She lied, “I can’t guarantee that he’ll make it.”

CL nodded, “Be careful. SHINee really collected up other gangs in Korea. If anyone suspicious spots you-promise me you’ll get right out of there. Understand?”

Jilin nodded, “Yes Unnie.” CL let her go and Jilin hurried outside to meet the other B.A.P members. Yongguk looked distraught, “Oppa.” She whispered.

“Are you sure Zelo is ok?”

She blinked, but didn’t say anything for a minute, “I didn’t say that…I said he needs to decide something.”

‘Junhong’ risked it all by leaving that classroom. He grabbed his stuff and just ran out of there. He tried to follow Jilin, but she was already gone by the time he touched the fields. He screamed and ripped at his hair, feeling the most frustrated he’s ever felt in his entire life. Zelo threw down his backpack and started to run. Not to Jilin, not home, he just needed to run somewhere. To run and to think about it. His feet carried him places, where he thought about Jilin.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.” He whispered to himself, “Junhong. Stupid Junhong!” Junhong, Junhong. He didn’t want to be Junhong anymore. Junhong got the grades, the friends, the image, the popularity. He didn’t want it all. He wanted to be happy. Grades, school, they didn’t make him happy. The SAK made him happy. He liked fighting, he liked being in a close group.

Most of all, he liked Jilin. No-he loved her. He stopped to breathe and looked around. He stopped himself at the edge of Han River. Watching the river lap at the sides, made him calm down and really think. His phone buzzed, so he checked it and saw Yongguk’s name:

Yongguk-hyung: The SAK leaves for the States. Flight @3. Where are you?

He laughed bitterly and groaned, “OH! Oh my god!” He looked up at the sky and pointed, “Is this how you want me to choose? Pull one life away from me? Huh… You work in weird ways, sir.” Zelo stood up and went home. He ignored his parents and went up the stairs to his room. He looked at everything he’d want to take with him, and then paused. What about his parents? The ones who’ve raised and cared for him when no one else did. He’s made them happy for eleven years. Was that enough?

“Junhong?” His mother called and he burst into tears. They ran down his face freely and he sobbed loudly, his parents rushing up the stairs. His mother grabbed his shoulders and soothed him, “What’s wrong Junhong?”

He pushed off and said between sobs, “Don’t call me that… I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” His dad asked, “It’s ok. Just tell us.”

So Zelo did. He told everything about the life he’s been living. What he really loved doing, who he really loved. Everything. They listened well, so he went on about the States, about the future he wanted to live. About the girl he was in love with. When he finished, his face was dry and so was his throat. He waited for their response and he finished, “I’m sorry…”

A gentle hand touched his cheek and he looked up at his mother, who was smiling, “You’ve never disappointed us. We’ve always seen that fire behind your eyes, the disappointment and the longing for something more… We should’ve known you were no spirit to keep up in a house to study.”

His dad nodded and smiled, “You were never our son to begin with, but we were glad to have you in this family. You’ll always be our son though. If you need anything, we’re here for you. You’ve made us proud for eleven years. Now, go live your life the way that makes you happy.”

Zelo stood, happy and hugged them. He checked the time and cussed, “Sorry.” He saved himself, “I have to leave or they’ll be gone!” He took up the last of the stuff he wanted into bags and checked through his room. He grabbed a few pairs of shoes and threw them in with his stuff. Before walking out that door, he looked back and smiled at his parents, “I love you.”

“We love you too.”