Ms. Park was dead.

That was all that would go through Eunmi’s mind as she stood at Ms. Park’s funeral with her arms folded the following Sunday.

Ms. Park’s other students were around her. There were about 10 of them and some of them had grief on their face. Others looked bored.

She had been driving home from Hanam Saturday morning after taking care of her mother. It had been a hit-and-run accident on the highway; she died on the spot.

Another tear rolled down Eunmi’s cheek as the prayer ended. Her parents were behind her, solemn looks on their faces as well. Taemin and Jongin had stayed home to take care of Taeyeon, who was too young to go to a funeral.

Ms. Park’s mother was crying in the arms of her son who had returned from Japan immediately after he heard the news. Ms. Park’s dad was patting her back as he tried to console himself too.

Turn-by-turn everyone went to pay their respects to the family. When it was her turn, Eunmi bowed 90 degrees at Ms. Park’s parents and brother.

Chen was right after her and his eyes were full of sorrow as well. Chen and Eunmi had to be Ms. Park’s favourite students; the others were good at singing, but some of them had horrible personalities. They came from rich parents who had spoiled them. Chen and Eunmi were her brightest and good-natured students.

“Where’ll we go now?” Chen asked Eunmi miserably while the parents were thanking and saying sorry to Ms. Park’s parents. “I don’t even know if I want to sing now….”

“Me too.” Eunmi agreed quietly.

“Ready to go?” Eunmi’s mother asked her gently when she and Hyunki walked over to them. Eunmi nodded silently.

She said goodbye to Chen and gave him a hug, promising to talk to him another time.

The car ride home was silent.

Where do I go now? Eunmi thought. She had only been going to Ms. Park’s singing classes for two months, but honestly, she felt so free there. She could sing whatever she wanted, as loud as she wanted knowing that no one would stop her. Ms. Park would always encourage her. In the summer, Eunmi went to Ms. Park every single day; she loved singing with her around. Ms. Park would say the nicest things to her and would never make her criticism sound like criticism. It was always fun in that room with Ms. Park.

Where would she go now? She didn’t want a new teacher; there was no one better than Ms. Park. She didn’t even know if she wanted to be in the competition anymore. If Ms. Park wasn’t there to support and encourage her, who would?

~~

When they got home, Eunmi was a bit dull. Singing was her passion, and Ms. Park had made that passion even more fun.

But she didn’t feel like doing it anymore.

Jongin gave her a comforting hug when she got upstairs, “Noona, feel better soon.”

Eunmi half-heartedly nodded and went to her room. She sat on her bed and hugged her knees, deep in thought.

 Someone knocked on her door, “Can I come in? Yes? Great.”

Taemin walked into her room, “How’re you doing?”

“Like you care.” Eunmi muttered.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Taemin turned around and headed back to the door. “Just don’t cry yourself to sleep, I already have trouble waking up in the morning and you crying all night will not help.” he looked back at her and winked before walking out.

That was how Eunmi knew he was kidding. She smiled lightly. Count on you to take me out of whatever mood I'm in, whether it be happy or sad.

She sighed; she didn’t know what she was going to do. She felt like giving up.

Pulling her blanket over her, she fell asleep with insecurity in her heart.

~~

Eunmi’s mother let her stay home from school on Monday.

When she returned to school on Tuesday, she was dull as well. She skipped breakfast and had walked to school alone. She was kind of like a zombie; except she was always in her thoughts and zombies didn’t have brains to have thoughts.

“Infinite’s having a fan signing soon! Wanna go?” Sara asked cheerfully at lunch in an attempt to cheer her up. They were sitting under their tree like usual.

Eunmi shook her head.

Sara paused, “Okay, well at least eat your lunch.” She took Eunmi’s lunch out of her bag and held it out.

Eunmi didn’t touch it.

“Eunmi….”

“I feel like it won’t even be fun if I sing anymore.” Eunmi said out loud, resting her head on her knees. “Why did she have to die? She never did anything wrong, she was nice to everyone. What am I going to do? Who's going to motivate me?”

“Well, there's me, your parents, Jongin.” Sara listed some people off her fingers.

Eunmi shook her head, “It's not the same. Knowing that she loved to teach, sing, and mentor left a different feeling than when my family and friends cheer me on.”

Sara had no reply to that as the usual soccer ball rolled over to them.

“Not eating, eh?” Taemin said as he bent down to pick the soccer ball up. “Mind if I take your lunch then?”

Sara gave him a look and Key walked over hit his head.

“Ouch- what was that for!?” Taemin rubbed his head.

“For being an insensitive prick.” Key snorted.

“But I always am.” Taemin blinked. “Fine, just hurry up and eat it or I’ll come and take it.” He said, walking away with Key who gave Eunmi a sympathetic look before following him.

“He’s right. So just eat.” Sara shoved the sandwich into Eunmi’s hands.

Eunmi sighed, unwrapping the sandwich and taking a bite out of it.

Sara tried to create small talk, but Eunmi was giving short or no answers. She appreciated Sara’s effort to cheer her up, she was being a great friend, but it wasn’t working.

“I’ll see you later.” Eunmi mumbled as she got up and slung her bag over her shoulder when the bell rang at the end of lunch.

After getting her things from her locker, she slumped into her physics class and dropped into her chair. She put her head in her arms on the desk for the three minutes she had before the bell would ring again.

Daehyun surprisingly arrived to class one minute before the bell rang.

“Nice to see you early, Mr. Jung.” Ms. Choi nodded in approval, writing the lesson plan on the board

Daehyun didn’t reply and sat down. In all honesty, he had only come early to see if Eunmi would be here today. Where was she yesterday?

He was slightly confused as to why her head was in her arms. Normally, her books would be out, they’d be turned to the correct pages, and her pencil would be in her hand.

Today none of those requirements were filled.

The bell rang and everyone sat in their seats so Ms. Choi could begin the lesson. Eunmi slowly lifted her head and leaned back in her chair.

Daehyun looked at her weirdly, she didn’t talk to him at all and just mindlessly took her binder out. She opened it to a random page and zoned out as the teacher began talking.

He noticed bags under her eyes and the paleness on her face.

Has she even been eating properly? What’s wrong with her face? Daehyun’s curiosity grew as he examined her odd behavior.

At that moment, Taemin slowly tried to sneak into class but Ms. Choi caught him.

“Lee Taemin, detention for the rest of the week.” She said briskly.

“What?! Misss!” Taemin groaned.

“In your seat. Now. And don’t interrupt my lesson.” Ms. Choi said angrily before turning back to the board.

Taemin blew a raspberry and sat in his seat.

“Miss, Taemin oppa won’t do it again. And he’s really sorry, you shouldn’t give him the detentions.” Yeonhee stood up for him.

“Yeonhee, I don’t need you to put words in either of our mouths.” Ms. Choi snapped and continued the lesson.

Daehyun was copying the notes, and usually he would stop at the middle, getting lazy and annoyed at the amount of writing. But today, he copied them all since Eunmi wasn’t and he knew she would end up needing them.

“Read pages 107-112.” Ms. Choi instructed. “That will clear up any confusion you have. Then, work on all the questions at the end of the section.”

The class groaned as per usual but began to work.

Eunmi hadn’t heard the teacher’s instructions and was still blatantly staring into space, lost in thought. 

“Ahem.” Daehyun cleared his throat. It had only been a week into school, but Eunmi would always start up a conversation with him when it was time to work. Today was different though.

Eunmi didn’t notice him and continued have no expression on her face. Taemin had taken his earphones out and was pretending to read the textbook.

Doesn’t this guy care about her? Kinna stepbrother is he? Daehyun thought.

“So, are you going to start the work?” Daehyun finally asked her after debating whether he really cared or not.

Eunmi snapped out of her thoughts, “Huh?”

“Are you going to do the work?” Daheyun gestured to the board that had the work written on it.

“Oh.” Eunmi realized she had zoned out for more than half of class. “No.” she said quietly, getting up from her seat. “Miss, may I go to the bathroom?”

“Go ahead.” Ms. Choi nodded from her desk.

Eunmi rubbed her eyes and quickly rushed out of the classroom.

Daehyun could have sworn he saw a tear.

~~

The rest of the week passed by exactly like that. Eunmi was confused and still adjusting to having no singing teacher. She refused to replace Ms. Park at the moment and wasn’t singing at all, claiming to be giving her voice a rest.

“Go to her singing studio.” Ms. Kim suggested Thursday after school. “I don’t think she would want you to stop singing.”

“I told you, I'm giving my voice a rest.” Eunmi mumbled, playing with the salt shaker on the table.

“Please, Eunmi. I'm your mother. You refused to give your voice a rest when you were so close to losing your voice.” Ms. Kim raised an eyebrow. “Kim Eunmi doesn’t give her voice a rest. And that competition is one month away, you should practice.”

“I don’t care.”

“Go. And get some fresh air. Eunmi, I know you’re upset, but you can’t be upset forever. I don’t want that, Ms. Park definitely wouldn’t want that, no one does.” Ms. Kim pulled her up by the arm and pushed her to the foyer. “Should I send one of the boys with you? Taemin or Jongin?”

“No, none.” Eunmi grudgingly put her shoes on and slipped a jacket over her shoulders.

“Okay, take your phone and when you come back, I don’t want you to be this depressed daisy.” Ms. Kim said, zipping Eunmi’s jacket up.

Eunmi smiled softly, “Okay.” She made sure her phone was in her pocket before walking outside. I’m so glad I have her.

After walking halfway to Ms. Park’s studio, she decided she might as well have some company and decided to call Chen.

“Yes?”

“Is this how you answer your phone?” Eunmi asked, half-playfully.

“Oh, hi Eunnie. What’s up?” Chen sounded a bit dull as well.

“Nothing. Are you busy?” she asked, kicking rocks on her path.

“No, why?”

“Can you meet me at Ms. Park’s?” she asked quietly.

Chen paused for a long time.

“Wait for me outside.” He said before hanging up.

Eunmi put her phone back into her pocket and walked to Ms. Park’s studio.

She stood in front of it, the building looked so dark and grey in her point of view. So ghostly and empty.

A couple of minutes later, Chen joined her.

“Why did you want to come here?” he asked after a while.

“I wanted to say goodbye.” She said quietly.

“Is it even open?” Chen wondered, walking to the door and pulling it open.

“Maintenance people I guess.” Eunmi shrugged, walking in as Chen held the door open for her.

Their footsteps echoed against the floor as they walked in further. The secretary’s desk was empty, she had probably gathered her things and left already.

Eunmi and Chen could hear murmured voices in the back storage room as they slowly entered the main room.

Chen breathed heavily. He had been going to Ms. Park for almost a year, this place was definitely a second home. He walked to the piano and slid a finger over it.

Eunmi touched the music sheets that were on the stands at the other end of the room. She recognized a few songs that she had rehearsed with Ms. Park. Those times seemed so far away.

“Are you still entering the competition?” Eunmi asked Chen after a few moments of silence. She turned around to look at him, he was sitting in front of the piano, but not touching it.

“I gave it some thought.” Chen looked at her. “And I think I will. At first, I didn’t want to go but Ms. Park wanted me to enter so badly. I disagreed for a long time but she kept telling me to give it a try and that I’d be able to learn a lot from it. She became so happy when I told her that I would and told me that she would do her best to help me. And she has.” Chen looked at the piano and slowly pressed one note. “If I didn’t, I think she’d be disappointed. You know, because she worked so hard to help me and now I’m not even going to audition.”

Eunmi nodded in understanding, “Ahh, I see.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t want to, to be honest.” Eunmi confessed, walking over and sitting beside him. “We didn’t even practice the entire song once and if she can’t help me, who will? She was the one who was supposed to motivate me and all that. And I wanted her to see me sing that song and support me for this thing.”

“I can help a bit.” Chen offered. “You can’t just not enter. Ms. Park really wanted both of us to.”

“Yeah, but she’s not here to tell me that, now is she?” Eunmi muttered bitterly.

“So? Do you only sing for her?” Chen questioned. “No, you sing because you like to, because you’re good at it, because you wouldn’t be able to live without it. Besides, I know you’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

“Yeahhh, I guess.” Eunmi sighed and stood up. “I think we should go now. Those maintenance guys might close up.”

Chen stood up as well and both of them looked around the room one last time. Neither of them were planning on coming back ever again. If Ms. Park wouldn’t be there, there would be no point and it would only make them feel empty on the inside.

Chen walked to the door and waited for Eunmi, who was walking to the back of the piano. Ms. Park’s saying was engraved at the bottom of it.

Always do what you love, that’s what will bring you happiness and peace.

With another sigh Eunmi looked at it once more before walking out with Chen for the last time.

~~

After school on Friday, Eunmi found herself in the old music room where she had found Daehyun singing last Saturday.

What am I doing here? Eunmi wondered. She was feeling much better, that talk with Chen had really helped her. At least one part of the life she had with Ms. Park would be with her.

It was an old and abandoned music room, it was the perfect place to practice singing at a time like this.

By herself.

She walked around the dimly lit room and brushed some dust off the old drum set in the corner. She rubbed her hands together to get rid of it and walked to the music stands. Old music sheets were there and Eunmi thought it would be best if she didn’t touch the dust covered papers.

She sat down at the piano- the only thing that seemed to have life in the seemingly small room.

“What are you doing here?” a voice asked from the doorway.

Eunmi jumped in surprise and looked at the door. Daehyun was standing there with his hands in his pockets, raising an eyebrow.

Eunmi didn’t answer and turned back to the piano.

“What happened to you? You’ve been weird lately. Even your stepbrother has been leaving you alone for this week.” Daehyun walked to the piano. “Well, today was an improvement.”

Eunmi didn’t reply again.

“How’s the preparation for the audition going then?” Daehyun asked, noticing that she wasn’t going to answer to his inquiries about her behavior.

“I don’t know if I am.” Eunmi finally said. “Anyways, why do you care? You don’t normally talk much, why do you care so much about what I do? I’m just that girl who talks to you in class, who you don’t seem to find important enough to reply to all that much.”

Daehyun shrugged, “Well, seeing as you know one of my secrets, I think I should get a fair trade. Why aren’t you auditioning?”

Eunmi sighed and said quietly, “My singing teacher…. Passed away.”

Daehyun looked slightly surprised, “Oh…. Well, I'm sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Eunmi shrugged.

“You seem sorry.”

“That’s because she was my singing teacher.”

“Is that why you’re not going to audition? Because she’s not here?” Daehyun asked.

Eunmi slowly nodded.

“See, I hate these cliché kinds of things that happen in real life.” Daehyun rolled his eyes. “This always happens in movies, the character doesn’t want to do something because someone dies. It’s really dumb to be honest cuz the whole world knows the dead person would want you to do that thing and if you don’t, you’re turning out to be the idiot. Especially when it comes to something you really love to do.”

Eunmi didn’t reply and Daehyun was heading to the door. He didn’t really care about her problems anyways, he didn’t know why he had been talking to her in the first place. Maybe it had been because she was acting so differently.  

“Yeah, but she was like my coach. She mentored me, gave me advice. She helped me so much. How am I supposed to continue singing without her there?” Eunmi said, Chen’s words floating to the back of her head.

“You don’t sing for her.” Daehyun stopped at the door and turned around, amazingly repeating Chen’s words. “You sing because you like it, she was just that extra push to get you to try different things and see how far your talents can take you.”

“Yeah, and I need someone to give me that push.” Eunmi looked at him.

Daehyun sighed and then said something he would have never thought he would say. Maybe it was because he didn’t want another person to do something they’d regret; been there, done that.

“Fine then, I’ll help you.  I’ll be your mentor, I’ll be your teacher.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Helloooo

I'm so sleepy omggg.

But I haven't updated for a while so I felt like I had to.

I had an essay to do so yeah..... I feel like I sound so dull and boring right now. And I think there are a billion mistakes in this chapter even though I edited it twice..... Oh well, I'll fix it tomorrow.

And exams are less than a month away T_T

Sob, I want chocolate milk.

Not much Taemin/Jongin in this chapter, but they'll come in the next

Do leave a comment~

Nigghtt~! :)

PS my new neighbours are so annoying -_- I'll tell you guys the story another time.