https://www.asianfanfics.coldness is spread all over my body, I've been crying for 12 hours? I don't know... the thing I know was

I ain't worth for his sacrifice...
I ain't deserve for his love...

Papa sat beside me, he didn't say anything to me, or I couldn't hear anything..
My mind blanked suddenly...

God, where's his family?
I've told chanyeol oppa... none of them came to this hospital, none... "you should take a rest, luhan.." Papa shaked my body, I just blinked my eyes... tears were coming out from my eyes...
"I can't... I shouldn't... how can I sleep, while he is struggling for his life because of me...." I barked to my papa, he looked so frustrated as I was, he sighed demurely... I couldn't think right.. every single time I took a breath, his face, his voice, it just,,, kept replaying through my mind..... soon as my tears kept flowing out, I felt diziness kicked my brain... and before I knew what happened.. I fall asleep...

where am I?
this place made me feel like deja vu.... the tree..
"Xiao Lu..." a soft voice called me, I looked everywhere and no one was there... no one...
"who are you?" I asked back... I was so frightened, this place is something weird...
"it's ok... you have known me like forever... still you couldn't see me..." I gasped at the answer.. could it be??
"I didn't want to know that you didn't love me, I can't... I won't.... That day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt... I want to tell you, but I don't think you'll love me back... but being alone for the rest of my life ... I repeat this to myself... I've got only an answer... I'm scared as hell, putting this feelings are so sick... I love you, Luhan.. I love you... even you won't return my feelings... I love you, that's the most beautiful words that I can say to you...." I turned my body as I felt something behind me.... this person... why he made me cry again? this stupid....
"I don't know If I able to make it... be happy... be a good mother,I will always beside you.." "you're so cruel.... after you made me to this state, you're gonna leave me like that?" I punched his chest so hard, I hate you, sehun... I hate you...
"I hate you...... have I told you that I hate you??" I asked him he just hugged me and smiled...
"I know... forgive me..." he whispered to my ears..
"don't leave me, hunnie... don't leave me... I can't live without you... I love you... I love you... I'm just... being a coward... so I didn't acept my own feelings for you, I'm sorry... please,, don't go..." my tears streaming down to my cheek... I couldn bear it again. the thud kept haunting my heart...
"I love you... I love you..." he murmured to my ears and disappeared...


"lu...han... Luhan,wake up, baby..." I opned my eyes, there I saw my papa and joonmyun uncle... he looked like a zombie...
"how's sehun?" I asked my father in a fear.... I was afraid of the answer surely
"he's alright.... his operation was sucessed, but we have to wait untill 1 week again... " I nodded at my papa, I felt a bit relax... I looked around myself... there's Sera who just spacing out, Chanyeol oppa wasn't in there... and I looked at their mother... she cried in silent... I didn't really like that situation...

"where's chanyeol oppa?" Papa gave me a look, it always means not good...
"he's... he flight to... yeah... Busan... he didn't want to be here... so... that explained.... why.. he need a time, maybe?" uttered in low voice... really low for my father's voice...
====================================================================================================

"Sehun... Sehun... you've just got your back from hospital... don't walk too much!! Oh God!!" Luhan sighed and kept her arms crossed....
"I know.." sehun answered back and he grabbed Luhan's right hand
"I know, yes... you know..." she mocked sehun back and looked so annoyed,,,
"don't mad, xiao lu.. I've got to tell you some-something"
"what?" Luhan was in a bad mood... she wanted Sehun keep stay in his bed, until he fully recover
"marry me.. would you?"
"what??... I mean... oh my God.." luhan blinked her eyes rapidly... she wanted to figure this one out, how can she say yes.... Chanyeol still nowhere to be found....
"uhm...hunie... I can't... not now.. we can postpone it a few years again..." Luhan hugged Sehun... the latter stay in silent, he couldn't understand why... but he already know Luhan will say no, however he smiled at her and gave her an okay ...
"Mianhae...."
"it's... al-al-right."
"oppa... duh-uh, we were worried as hell, you couldn't walk too much... the doctor told about it before, listen to him would you?" Sera ran to him with a furrowed eyebrows.... she's so damn scared if anything happen worse than the car accident...
"mianhae..."
"well, you're forgiven... eonnie ya... chanyeol oppa will comeback... today... it has been 4 month, did I count it wrong?"
====================================================================================================

"hey, deer... how have you been?" Chanyeol oppa seems better than ever... his face is so calm, he isn't a noisy guy I've used to know... and here we are, in the park take some walk, refreshing old memories...

and damn awkward moment is happening to us... well, he is no longer my boyfriend, but we didn't break up as well... so this is... complicated, you know??
"I'm doing good... so, tell me... where have you been all this time?" I ask him, he laughs for a while and awkward silent moment after that... , this is not right...
"You know... I couldn't bear our memories, they still roaming in my brain...I am a bad hyung too... I couldn't look at his face anymore... I knew it, I knew he likes you.. and being an egoistic person, I keep denny it, I believe that he just like you as a friend" his hoarse voce made me feel so cruel...
"me too, I keep denny it... we were young and stupid, oppa... that's a way to become old and wise... we are always in love, but I can choose you over him... I couldn't break him again... please, let me go..." I am not crying, I am not hold back my tears... well, I was expecting that I'd crying hard... but no, this isn't happen, Sehun..... I can't believe at myself.. it must because of him
"yes, I'll... be happy... you have to be happy... then I would never regret that I've let you go... promise,. huh?" he says with a smile,he ruffles my head and hugging me...
"this the last time... for the last time....." chanyeol oppa whispers to my ear.... his voice is deep, calm, and full of power...

Thanks... thanks... this is what I want... I'm sure that I'll marry him...
====================================================================================================

1 years latter..

"hanie..."
"hmmm??"
"thtop eat ice cream.. I ain't that sure It'd be good for Jae..." Sehun scolded me with a lisp...y lisp... hmmmm
"sehun, I want to hear your lisp againnn... thehunnnnnnn pleatheeee" I whined to him....he just made a straight face,,,, as usual
"luhan you need to thtop... stop..." he said and stole the ice cream from me....
"yah!!! give me back.. aahhhhh... ahhh..." I felt something wet on my underwear....my water is broke, yeahhh!! I'm going to labor,,,
"why? what??" he pat my belly with a confused face....
"the baby is coming, hunnie... arghhhhhhhh, it's hurt" it so damn hurt, I'd never want to be pregnant again... it's not easy, and this labor pained me so much...
"what should I do??" he asked me with a panic face...
"GO GET A CAB TO HOSPITALLLLLL!!! ARGHHHH!!! ARGHHH!!" I yelled on the top of my lungs at him... well, it's hurt, our baby must have a knife on his hand..
====================================================================================================

"Push, push... breathe and push again..."
"arghhhhhh, this is hurt, sehunnn"
"you can do it." sehun said plainly, well, it's just his face... but Luhan wanted to grab his hair and yell at him..
"you can do it my !!! don't you ever dare to go on mambo mattress with me again... you caused this pain, it's really hurt, your baby is killing me!!!!!" she yelled and pushed once again.. she's sweating and it's hard to stay conscious at the time...
"I'm sorry.. I promise not having a mambo... eh mambo what...." sehun tried to figure out what was Luhan said before... the nurse laughing at him, they know that Sehun have a lack.. but it's funny when Sehun forgot that Luhan need his attention more
"Just forget it, it's really hurt...." Luhan said and crying...
"hannie I love you... I love you" he kissed the temple of Luhan's head... and then Luhan pushed for the last time...
"it's a boy... he's healthy... congratulation, Mr. Kim..." the doctor said and Sehun holding the baby in his arm.. he was smiling brightly and widely....
"he's handsome..." he said to Luhan, luhan nodded her head
"I'm afraid if he will become like me... what if he will be an autism... and I'm afraid he will hate me.. like sera before...."
"we will raise him, whatever the condition is... it's our promise, right?? we will teach him, he won't hate you, if we tell him what is right.. what is wrong, what is good... what is bad... he will become the greatest son ever..." Luhan said and smiled at him... he kissed Luhan's lips
"thanks, xiao lu.... xie xie..."
"you're welcome, hunie..." they are giggling when Jaehun yawned and blinked his eyes, Luhan cooed over her son's cuteness




"sehunie... If we are an adult in the future, I'll be the princess and you'll be the prince..."
"why me?"
"you don't want me to be your princess??" sehun stayed in silent, Luhan started to crying... sehun hugged her
"don't cry, xiao lu... I'll be y-your pri-prince.. bu--but wh-why??"
"I want to have a son like you, and Ill name him jaehun... it kinda sound like sehun.. you're gonna be my prince, right??"Luhan sulked at him, he nodded his head
"I will, we will have a Jaehun,,,"
"I love hunnie..... wo ai niii"
"I love you, hannie.. I'll always protect you, pinky promise!!"
"We will always together, till death do us apart... they're always say it in drama"



From now on...
I have a world to believe in
I have way to back home
it's you...
and it'd always be like that
Till death do us apart...

FIN ===========================================================================================

3 wins in a row for exo *my hearts xDDD
well, I love ya guysss
we are one!!! heeheehee