Not guilty.

Not innocent.

Not understood. - anonymous

Pyongyang 1953

Yoona was exhausted. She was tired of watching people suffer, the lies hidden behind masks, the unsure feelings in her heart. I just want to go home. She knew she was being selfish.  She sighed as she made her way through the narrow grey hallway to the bathroom. How longer would she be here? She gasped as she saw the reflection of the small but clear mirror. The girl she once used to know was not herself. Instead there was a woman. She had clear skin, with glossy hair that passed her bossom. She was thin and unhappy.She missed the happiness that was so familiar to her- but still too far to reach. 

She hated herself for not being able to love one person, but two. Everyday, she had the longing to embrace Luhan-as the remembrance of the forgotten love they once shared but she was lustful for Jongin's sweet kisses.

As the memories flooded her a metallic material caught her eyes. A razor blade. She hesitantly reached to touch it while fighting the urge of the consequences. Don't do it Im Yoona. She fought, but the regret- the sorrow was too much. She felt the sharp metal and slowly put it parallel to her left wrist. Everytime I look at Luhan, Jongin and remember the faces of Sehun and Seohyun this pain strikes me over and over again. I've ruined everyone. Tears started to form below her eyes. Why am I so miserable- just please make it stop. The blade slide across the soft skin and a flow of amber liquid escaped. I'm not a superhero. I'm not a genius. I'm a normal girl who just wanted a happy ending. A heartbreaking sob broke out. Her legs gave out and she sank to the tile floors.

I never deserved to live.

It seemed like a millenium until she had the will to pull herself from the darkness. She wrapped a torn rag tightly around the wrist and washed her face. She didn't want to be cared for anymore. 

She unlocked the doorknob and began running. To where? She didn't know either. Then she had clashed into someone. She quickly began to apologize before she realized who it was.

"Yoona?"

It was Myungsoo.

"Are you oka-" he stopped when his eyes widdened. The torn towel had falled from her wrist. The ugly cuts were visible.

Yoona couldn't respond. She was ashamed of herself already.

Before anyone else could see, he interlocked her hand with his and ran towards to nearest private room. After he knew no one was listening he wanted her to give an explanation.

"Now's your chance. Kill me now and fullfill your vow to Kris."

Myungsoo was flabbergasted. He knew Yoona was stronger than this. He saw the look of infinite sadness written on her face.

"I'm not going to kill you. You shown me optimism to forgiveness. You've healed me Yoona. Now I want to do the same." he started unsteadily.

When she did not reply he continued.

"I want to listen to you play the violin. Come on." he gently pressed.

She could only nod as he brought in a violin. It was the same one that Jongin had presented to her. She cringed. Instead of playing a beautiful melody, she grabbed the precious violin from Myungsoo's hands and threw it against the floor. She didn't care anymore.

"Stop. It's disgusting."

"What the hell happened?" he croaked.

"If stick and stones may break my bones, what would words and feelings do?" she sobbed.

"Talk to me! What happened between you, Luhan and Jongin?"

"I'm a monster Myungsoo."

He felt immediate self pity for this girl. 

But then suddenly she gasped for air.

"Yoona? Yoona? Yoona?" he said worriedly.

***

"Luhan." 

"I know you didn't mean that. Yoona will come around." he tried to smile.

"I can't believe I did that." Jongin blurted.

"She'll forgive you."Luhan said surely.

"I love her. To the moon and back. Even if she didn't choose me. I would continue to love her from a distance. I'm always going to be running towards her. Because I'll remember her as the brave girl I fell in love with."

Luhan was moved. He knew those invisible unsporken words. Jongin would let her go- for the sake of her happiness. He sighed. 

"I guess this is it."

Jongin looked at him confusedly.

"My time has finished here. I'm going back to China tonight. I came here for Yoona. But I realized you deserve her love more than I do. It's my time to move on." Luhan smiled.

"Luhan hyung..."

"Jongin ah, you probably despise me right? The things I did to both Yoona and you- it's unforgivable. But from now on, I won't be a bother anymore. So please, give her the happy ending she deserves."

"You're giving up like this?"

"I'm not giving up. You've won her heart."

Jongin noticed tears flowing down Luhan's cheeks. It must've been hard giving up on the girl he always and will forever love.

"I'll take care of Yoona for you while you're gone."

"Maybe we'll meet each other again after this war is over."

"I promise."

"You're leaving?!" a angelic voice called.

The two men turned their hands to a shocked Yoona. They noticed her wrist was painted with blood that dripped down her hand. She looked visibly shaken.

"Yoona... you're wrist." Luhan spoke first.

"You can't..." she ignored.

The painful slits on her wrists reminded him of the scars that he had left on her heart.

"I don't deserve you! Would you love the Luhan who broke you're heart into pieces?" Luhan cried.

"I may not be able to love you like before, but you will always be important to me." 

He smiled. 

"Yes. But the love you have for Jongin is pure. It's innocent and sweet."

"What are you saying?"

"That Jongin has captured your heart."

She then turned to face Jongin. She had the feeling he was still angry at her.

"I'm so sorry."

"You can say that after we've treated your wrist." Jongin said.

He rapidly searched his drawers to find an large gaze.

"You don't deserve to be pulled into the darkness with me." Yoona stuttered.

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. I keep hurting the people I love the most. They shouldn't go through that. There are nights where I break down, and cry. Not because I'm lonely and forgotten. But because I'm slowly giving up. I want you to move on Jongin. It's the best for the both of us." 

"Then so be it. You can leave with Luhan to China tonight." he trembled.

"I know you're unhappy with my decision. But I don't want you to regret the mistakes you made because of me."

Jongin's heart broke into millions of shards.

"Yoona stop being reckless. I know you don't want to leave his side." Luhan countered.

"If you love me, then you would respect my decisions."

"Then let's do what Yoona wants." Jongin replied- acting strong.

"What the Jongin?! What are you doing?!" Luhan sceamed.

"I'm setting her free."