D O N G H A E

This is unbelievable.

I went to Dokbayo to get away from the pressure and the stress that was bearing down on me in Taiwan. But instead, I met her and things were never the same.

I banged my fist on the door. “Yoona-sshi, please open the door and let me talk to you.”

Silence.

“Alright,” I said, leaning on the door with my back. “I’ll talk to you from here.”

Eunhyuk and Yoona-sshi’s little brother were both giving me wide-eyed stares. I motioned for them to go away. Her brother immediately rushed to the kitchen and busied himself while Hyukkie hesitantly sauntered towards the living room.

“Yoona-sshi?” I called out. No response. I sighed. “You probably don’t know this but I’m actually a famous pop music idol in Korea.”

I listened for a reaction – a gasp, a shriek. But there was nothing. Nothing but cold, icy silence.

I cleared my throat and went on. “I’m part of a popular boy group called Super Junior. I’m one of the lead dancers. I sing every now and then, but I’m not good. I also act in dramas, but I’m still trying to be better. Are you listening Yoona-sshi?”

I paused here and pressed my ear against the door. Still, I could hear nothing.

“We travel all over the world,” I continued. “But do you know what I’m going to tell the world about Dokbayo?”

No answer.

“I’m going to tell them that Dokbayo is filled with nice and friendly and helpful people,” I remarked. “People who are patient and go shopping with you even though you take a long time. People who translate what you’re saying so that you get around much better.  People who sacrifice their time and effort to help a lost foreigner.”

I paused here because tears were beginning to form at the corners of my eyes.

“I promised Eunhyuk (he’s my best friend) that I will return to Super Junior tomorrow. But I don’t want to leave Dokbayo without saying sorry to you. Whatever it is that I did, I hope you’ll forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt you or offend you. I gave those gifts because I just want to thank you for all you did for me. You might not believe me but just this once, please believe that there are still people who are sincere.”

Silence embraced the atmosphere. I stood up.

“Goodbye, Yoona-sshi,” I said after giving the door a light tap. “This might be the last time we’ll see each other.”

I took a step forward, and shortly afterwards Eunhyuk and I were back on the road – driving away from the apartment.

Driving away from Yoona-sshi.  

~~~

Y O O N A

I didn’t know why.

But I couldn’t stop crying.

His voice, his words kept playing over and over in my head. Like a song.

"I didn’t mean to hurt you or offend you."

"I just want to thank you for all you did for me."

Damn it, Lee Donghae. Why do you have to be different? Why do you have to say sorry? Why do you have to sound so sincere? Why couldn’t you be just like them – just like all the rest of those selfish, dishonest guys – so I could easily forget about you?

This might be the last time we’ll see each other.

I gulped down my tears and looked up. There was silence now. Did he leave already? I hopped off my bed and ran towards the door, struggling to unlock the door knob.

I swung the door open. No one was outside.

I peered down the hallway. There was no one there.

“Yoseob! Did they leave already?” I cried out.

“Yeah,” Yoseob answered. “They left a minute ago. Why?”

I rushed past my brother, ran down the stairs and pushed our front door open. No one was there. I looked down the road. It was empty.

He was really gone.

A sudden, heavy wave of an unfamiliar emotion washed over me. What is this? Why am I feeling this way?

I shook my head. Let him go. Forget about him. He’s a celebrity. His world is different from yours. He'll probably forget about you. 

But still, as I looked towards the sky, I couldn’t help but hope that we’ll see each other again. If God wills it and if it is meant to be, then Lee Donghae and I will see each other again.

And this time, I will be the one to tell him, “Sorry.”