6 weeks later

Seunghyun felt different. He felt drained but empowered. The past several weeks were like a caterpillar’s in a cocoon if only the caterpillar was conscious for the whole process. He was still feeling his metaphorical sticky wings and feeling rather confused and disgusting.

He had marks all over his body in nasty lines and excess skin. He tried to focus on the on the one thing that seemed to be looking more attractive, his face. It was lean and his double chin had disappeared.

This was the day. He reached the point of approval and he was going to go back for the audition Jiyong got for him. He was so nervous about his image that he forgot to practice for anything else.

Sighing, he moved away from the bathroom mirror to step on the scale once more. He needed to see a number that would calm his nerves. He closed his eyes and breathed before looking down. 90 kilograms. He felt his heart drop. Would it be enough?

He frizzled his hair, stressed at his situation. He couldn’t help the reflex. He had picked it up from Jiyong over the past couple months. Things seemed to be going well enough with them. After the surprise making out after the audition there had only been shy and embarrassed glances from Jiyong again.  Jiyong was rather embarrassed to have too much physical contact but Seunghyun found himself craving it more and more each day.

Stepping out of the bathroom he started walking towards his noona’s room to check cyworld again. He kept getting text messages from Jiyong telling him to check there more often but it’s kind of difficult to do when his noona seemed to be using it almost every night. He turned and ran straight into his omma. Apologizing softly he moved out of the way and avoided eye contact.

“Seunghyun, we need to talk.” She said curtly.

Seunghyun gulped. He hadn’t told her anything. He knew he promised his noona months ago to tell her but he really wanted to put all of it off. She was a strong woman but the simplest things could tip her into a shock of sorts.

Seunghyun followed his omma into the living room where he hadn’t sat in far too long. The sofa was worn and soft from years of use. Seunghyun couldn’t remember there being any major family event in his life without this sofa, yet he had been avoiding it to run to the gym or to meet Jiyong or on rare occasions, school.

“Seunghyun. You are my son. Am I still your omma?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yes, you are my omma. You always will be.” Seunghyun stated.

“Seunghyun, I asked Hye Yoon what was going on with you and she said that I needed to ask you and you would tell me.” She explained.

“What do you mean?” Seunghyun asked while looking down at his feet.

“Seunghyun, my youngest, you have been not attending school. You are losing tons of weight and monitor every morsel you eat. You are out all day, everyday and come back at nights to shower and sleep before repeating the process. What is happening? What is wrong? What is bothering you? Is it something I did as a mother?” She asked, sounding like she was lapsing into a panic at the end.

“Omma. You know I love you. I didn’t want to do this either.” Seunghyun said tenderly.

“Then why are you doing it?” She asked with a confused expression.

“I actually don’t have very long to explain but I will try.” Seunghyun said anxiously while looking at his watch.

He then explained as precisely as he could his fortunate situation with the Jiyong, the failed first audition, his diet and exercise to prepare for the second, and probably last, audition that could ultimately help their family.

“Seunghyun…you’re going to need to give me some time to absorb it but are you okay to go to this audition on your own?” She asked him after a moment of stunned silence.

“I’ll be fine Omma. I’m of legal age now for contracts and I went to the last one just fine on my own.” Seunghyun explained, rising from his seat after his omma stood.

“Alright, I am angry you didn’t come to me for my blessing on this but I will let it slide for now. You should hurry to make it on time. You have your seal?” She said, verbally ushering him out the door.

Seunghyun nodded in response as he slipped on his shoes and backpack.

Seunghyun felt the hot muggy air hit him with the morning haze hanging over the buildings. He didn’t like how sticky it was this mid-June morning. He knew he needed to try to air himself out on the bus to avoid body odor during the audition.

Sitting on the bus ride to the subway before heading to YG building he kept running through a huge mental list hoping ineffectively to ease his growing nerves. He needed to be calm and collected. His meditation went fine but his talk with his mother threw him off more than he had planned. Now Jiyong was going to be upset that he didn’t check his Cyworld. Things were looking grim. It was going to be a close race against the clock to make it to YG building on time. He may need to run there. At least he was a bit faster now, thanks to one of his hyung’s loaning him money for 2 months at the local gym.

His foot kept bouncing up and down and he kept looking around like a deer in the headlights. He knew he probably looked like a drug addict right now but that was the least of his problems right now.

As he got off the bus and ran down to the metro he scanned his pass and ran onto the train seconds before the doors closed. He opted for standing this time but he felt more…nervous this way. He felt on display. He caught many girls looking at him and giggling with their friends and even one taking a picture. He never felt more violated than he did at that moment. He pulled down his shirt and averted his eyes, which just caused for the girls to giggle more, probably over his shyness. Heaving a heavy sigh he took off his sunglasses and glared in their direction. They looked at his face and one might have thought that they had been turned to stone just from the sheer intensity. Their jaws dropped and eyes wide, they seemed to not even breathe. Seunghyun, satisfied put his glasses back on and enjoyed the silence for the rest of the train ride.

A/N: I know you have felt abandoned and I'm sorry for that but I purposely didn't post for 6 weeks so you could feel how much time it took for Seunghyun to lose weight and return for auditions. I wanted you to feel the gap and a little anxiety for what may happen. I really have been planning this from the beginning. Now I'm not planning any huge breaks until the end so fasten your seatbelts! It's sure to be a bumpy and twisty ride! ^^