So, Seunghyun didn’t know whether to run away in tears or beat Youngbae over the head with a shovel. He was so cool and a perfect match with Jiyong. They seemed to fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces. Jiyong looked so happy and relaxed around him. Youngbae kept smiling shyly at Jiyong’s compliments. It made him sick with jealousy.

This doesn’t even include all of Youngbae’s skills. He could rap too. He was actually quite good. He could sing really well, just as well as he could dance. This was the icing on the cake. He watched Youngbae burst with b-boy dance moves. Did he mention that Youngbae could do flips and handsprings? Seunghyun was so frustrated.

“Okay. Sorry for the display. I was just trying to warm up a bit.” Youngbae apologized.

Oh, then what was with the rapping and singing? Those don’t have much to do with dancing. Seunghyun felt his insides clenching with frustration. He looked over at Jiyong sitting behind them at a table reading a comic book. He would love to just sit there and watch his face engrossed in the novel, his face shifting subtle emotions as his eyes flitted across the pages.

“Hey, Ji, where do you want me to start off at? Should I teach him certain moves or a basic routine?” Youngbae asked.

Silence answered him. Jiyong was so absorbed that he didn’t even hear Youngbae speak. Well, at least he wasn’t absorbed in him or his skills. This may be a point in his favor.

“Yo! Ji!” Youngbae yelled, throwing his beanie at him.

Jiyong looked up irritated to see who disturbed his reading. He first looked at Seunghyun’s face then turned to glare at Youngbae.

“I was reading. You know not to bug me when I’m engrossed.” Jiyong grumbled.

“Well, you didn’t give me instructions so I didn’t know what to do. You just gave me a hello and bolted over to the table after grabbing the book from my hands.” Youngbae muttered.

“It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have brought the new One Piece novel with you. You know how anxious I have been for it to come out.” Jiyong defended.

“You have been anxious? I have had a countdown on my phone since they announced the release date. Plus, I was the one who got you into them anyways.” Youngbae countered.

“Whatever. You were busy anyways. So, why did you throw your beanie at me?” Jiyong asked, holding the evidence in his hand.

“What do you want me to teach him, basic moves, basic routine?” Youngbae asked.

Jiyong ruffled his hair before rubbing his face with his hands.

“I don’t know. I would say from square one but I think he even needs help getting there.” Jiyong mused.

Seunghyun felt humiliated. They were talking like he wasn’t there and, even worse, like he was some object to be manipulated like clay. He shuffled his foot on the ground while Jiyong and Youngbae threw around ideas, most of which had to do with things they have already learned as trainees.

“You remember the first routine we did together? Do you think he could do that?” Youngbae asked.

“I don’t know. That was hard for me and I had already learned some dance.” Jiyong moaned.

“What do you want me to do, Jiyong? You asked me over here to help but at this point all I can think is maybe I should have made up an excuse so I could be reading my new novel that you read before I could even crack the spine.” Youngbae grumbled.

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t really thought it all the way through when I texted you. I just knew you were a really good dancer and help me understand a lot of dance moves. Plus, you’re understanding and patient.” Jiyong explained.

Great. Now Jiyong was lavishing him with compliments in front of his face. He was sure the flirting would escalate soon. He felt a small itch to leave, to flee the scene. He couldn’t leave yet though. He was a terrible dancer. He knew that. This was a good chance to learn before the auditions.

“Maybe I should just show you what I can do and you can help me from there.” Seunghyun finally interrupted.

“He has a point, Ji. Why didn’t you think of that?” Youngbae said.

“Shut up. You know sometimes my thoughts get too concentrated.” Jiyong grumbled.

“I’ll show you a very basic routine and you try to duplicate it while we observe. We know you’ll screw up the first time. We both did too. I just want to see where your trouble lies.” Youngbae said.

Seunghyun nodded, tuning his mind into absorbing all the details he could.

“Do you want me to lay down a beat for you?” Jiyong asked.

“Sure. You know the routine. It’s from the Seotaji and the Kids song ‘In The Fantasy’.” Youngbae said, stripping down to his undershirt.

Seunghyun gulped, pulling at his own shirt. Youngbae had really defined lean muscle. This didn’t help the fact that he was going to be learning a routine he had seen on tv a lot as a kid. It was so powerful and he felt nowhere near powerful when he danced. He looked over at Jiyong who was eyeing Youngbae up and down. He felt sick. He sat down across the table from Jiyong, their chairs turned to watch Youngbae in front of them. He forced himself to watch. This was all for the best. This was just work, nothing personal. Nothing personal at all. Jiyong started busting a beat similar to the song as Youngbae made his entrance.

Seunghyun watched him move fluidly and powerfully. He had to-go lids representing other dancers shifting during the song. You could tell he was bored with the simplicity of it by the look on his face. He must want to improvise. After a couple minutes he stopped, and looked to Seunghyun confidently.

“Okay, so go ahead. We’ll both watch you for a little while then I’ll jump in to help your form. We’ll just work on it from there. This dance is kind of a standard to work at YG so if you perform it for Hyun Suk himself he might be floored, especially with a voice like yours.” Youngbae stated, easing into the seat Seunghyun vacated.

Jiyong smiled at Youngbae and nodded in agreement. Youngbae smiled softly at Jiyong before turning to look at Seunghyun. He felt his stomach churn. There has to be something going on between them. He felt his hands shake a little. He breathed deeply to ease his nerves before he nodded his head that he was ready for his humiliation.

Seunghyun remembered most of what Youngbae did but his body seemed to not connect with the images in his brain. He looked at his judges and felt his body stiffen. If he didn’t watch them he felt nervous about what their faces may be like. As the beat went on, he knew he was lost and sloppy. It was nowhere near what Youngbae did. With each movement, he hoped the beat Jiyong was belting would end. Would just put an end to his misery.

After the beats ended and Seunghyun was sitting on the cool floor sweating and panting, he heard it, the worst sounds he could hear after his performance. They were snickering. They were laughing at him. This wasn’t the same as earlier when Jiyong was laughing at his improvised dance moves, writing on the ground in fits of laughter. This was cool, conceited, and arrogant laughter. They were making fun of him. He felt panic spreading through him. Nothing could feel worse that the guy you were falling for all over again laughing at you with his obvious boyfriend.

He sat up and brushed off his pants quickly before excusing himself to the bathroom. He practically ran to the door across the room. He didn’t want to cry but just in case his eyes rebelled against his will he knew he had to get away. It wasn’t manly to cry. He couldn’t cry in front of him again. He was better than that. He wasn’t the little baby he used to be. He barged into a stall where he locked the door, standing there, leaning against the wall. He had to steady his hurt heart or the tears would flow. That’s when he heard it, the scuffling of shoes entering the bathroom.

“Hyung?” He heard Jiyong call for him.

Seunghyun stayed silent, hoping for Jiyong to leave him. He couldn’t calm his heart if he was here. He only made his heart want to escape his chest.

“Hyung, please come out. Let’s talk. Tell me what is bothering you.” Jiyong said into the echoey tiled room.

Seunghyun stayed silent. He would leave. He would go with Youngbae out of the café to talk about their comics and inside jokes and trainee related things. Then he could be left to start over and mend his broken heart. He waited a few minutes before he heard Jiyong sigh and the bathroom door shut.

A moment later he came out to stand in front of the mirror. He looked at his reflection. Is this what he wanted for his life?  He was a chubby loser who couldn’t help himself, let alone his family. Was he really going to give it all up this easily? Jiyong has a boyfriend now, so what? Was he not going to fight for him, like a man? Wasn’t that what he decided when he saw Youngbae walk into the café? What about his family and getting a job? Wouldn’t this be the perfect happy ending to his years of struggle? He breathed deeply. He just needed to keep his mind focused on the prize.

He walked out to see Jiyong at the table closest to the bathrooms. His head was flat on the tabletop, his arms curled around his head. He looked at him and felt defeat. He didn’t know whether to poke him or just let him sit there so he compromised and sat across from him. He watched him for a several minutes, looking for movement. Soon, Youngbae walked up but when he saw the looks of the two sitting he bit his lip and nodded.

“I see you guys have a lot to talk about. I’ll just go. I’ll see you Monday, Ji. Nice seeing you again, Seunghyun.” He said before walking away to grab his things and leave the café.

Seunghyun waited a moment, wondering if Jiyong was sleeping or crying or just avoiding him. His hair looked so soft and shiny. He wanted to it. Maybe that would help. Maybe it was his own selfish desires but he couldn’t stop his shaky hand from softly caressing the dark locks. It may be his imagination but it seemed like Jiyong leaned his head into Seunghyun’s hand and lightly sighed his contentment. Seunghyun softly smiled anyways because at the very least it was a nice dream.