“Some things just never change.” sighed Jaejoong, with a soft smirk, as he sat quietly in a corner booth of his favorite coffee shop and stared solemnly out the window. For five years New York City had been his home. He had come here all those years ago, so broken and so shattered, without any real hope of a normal life and eventually found a way to cope with all the pain, suffering, and heartache that Jiyoung had caused him. Thanks to Junsu’s understanding nature, Jaejoong was blessed with a new life and as his heart and mind began to heal, he began to find some sense of normalcy. After all the time he had spent here in the past, and with all the memories he still coveted from that time, Jaejoong couldn’t help but miss the city that had helped him heal. He loved Seoul. He loved his friends, his job, and his life there but New York City would always be his second home.

It had been three days since he had arrived back in the city he missed so much, and this was the first time since he arrived, that he could take a break. The second he got off the plane at JFK International airport, Manager Yoon was waiting for him. From that moment on, Jaejoong’s schedule was so packed that he barely had time to breathe. The only solace he found in his busy schedule was that every night he had a very special place to sleep, a place that reminded him so much of Seoul and of Yunho.

Usually when he took business trips, he was always stuck at some posh hotel and he assumed that this trip would be no different. When Manager Yoon took him to his new home for the next two weeks, he was completely and utterly surprised. Yunho had made it very clear to Manager Yoon, and to Junsu, that Jaejoong was not allowed to stay at a hotel while he was in New York. He was to stay in Yunho’s apartment instead. Jaejoong had no idea that Yunho owned an apartment in the city and was completely awestruck at its luxury. Situated near Central Park, the apartment building had a stunning view of the city and all the amenities a person could ask for, right down to a workout room and a private indoor swimming pool. His apartment was clean, beautifully furnished with ornate and comfortable furniture, decked out in the latest appliances and electronics, and always smelled of fresh lavender.

“I miss him.” whispered Jaejoong softly as Yunho crossed his mind for the tenth time this morning.

Jaejoong grabbed his phone from the table and dialed Yunho’s number, “I want to talk to Yunnie.” thought Jaejoong as the call began to ring through. As the phone continued to ring, without an answer, Jaejoong dropped his eyes to the floor and sighed.

“What’s with that face?” questioned Manager Yoon as he walked up and flashed an inquisitive smile.

“He’s still not answering his phone.” sighed Jaejoong “He’s not taking my calls for some reason.”

“Still?” questioned Manager Yoon as he sat down in the chair across from Jaejoong.

“Yeah.” sighed Jaejoong “I’m really worried about him. It’s not like him to ignore my calls or texts. We talk all the time normally, so I really don’t get it. Something must be really wrong.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” dismissed Manager Yoon with a wave of his hand “Yunho is just fine.”

“How do you know that?” asked Jaejoong.

“President Kim calls me every morning for updates on your negotiations with the concert promoters. He’s been keeping me informed.” answered Manager Yoon.

“Well, then, is Yunho ok? Why hasn’t he called me or taken my calls?” asked Jaejoong surprised.

“Because, he super busy.” lied Manager Yoon “His comeback has been a great success and there are requests for appearances just rolling in. Yunho is so busy that even the President is worried about him tiring himself out.”

“I told him not to overdo it.” sighed Jaejoong in disappointment.

“I just want to talk to him and make sure he’s ok.” added Jaejoong with a sad sigh.

“I will tell President Kim to make sure Yunho calls you when he can.” nodded Manager Yoon “So don’t worry about him right now, we have a lot of things left to do and we can’t afford for you to be too distracted.”

“I know.” acknowledged Jaejoong.

“You have about an hour till your next meeting, don’t you think we should get going?” questioned Manager Yoon as he stood up.

“Go ahead without me.” smiled Jaejoong “It’s nice here. I want to sit here for a little longer.”

“Alright, I will tell the driver to wait for you and I’ll catch a cab to the office instead.” smiled Manager Yoon “I’ll see you there.”

“Take the bodyguard with you.” begged Jaejoong as he glanced up at the broad shouldered man standing a few feet away.

“You know I can’t do that.” smiled Manager Yoon “President’s orders.”

As Jaejoong watched Manager Yoon walk away, he sighed disappointingly. He understood why Junsu had ordered a protection detail for him but that didn’t mean that Jaejoong liked the whole idea. “He’s creepy.” thought Jaejoong as he reached down, grabbed his cup of tea, and took a sip before looking back out the window. The weather was so nice today that all he really wanted to do was go site seeing but there was just never enough time in the day. He loved it here but he hated it at the same time. The more time he spent in New York, the more he struggled with both his love for the city and the loneliness he was feeling. He missed Seoul. He missed Yoochun, Junsu, and Yunho. He missed their laughter and their smiling faces. He missed it all.

“I just want to go home.” sighed Jaejoong softly as he felt a delicate hand land on his shoulder. Jaejoong glanced up to see a beautiful looking woman, in her mid-thirties, looking back at him.

“Excuse me. Sorry to bother you but…” questioned the woman “aren’t you Kim Jaejoong?”

“Yes.” he answered “Can I help you?”

“I’m sorry for disturbing you but my name is April. I’m a friend of Jung Yunho’s.” she said.

“You’re a friend of Yunho’s?” questioned Jaejoong .

“Yes.” she answered “His apartment is in the same building as mine. I noticed you were staying there and I wanted to introduce myself.”

“You must be a very good friend of Yunho’s.” she added “He’s never let anyone else stay there before.”

“I work for his management company.” informed Jaejoong “He and I have been great friends for a while.”

“That’s wonderful! Yunho isn’t the type to have many friends so I’m really glad he found such a good looking friend.” smiled April with a wink “I haven’t heard from him in a while, how is he doing?”

“He’s been busy.” smiled Jaejoong.

“I bet, with all the stuff going on right now he must be totally stressed out.” sighed April “When you talk to him again, would you mind telling him that I’m praying for him and that I hope that everything gets settled quickly.”

“Oh?” said Jaejoong with a curious look “Sure, I can do that.”

“Thank you.” smiled April. “I have to get going now but here’s my business card. If you need any help or someone to talk to, when the whole situation becomes too much to handle on your own, please feel free to give me a call.”

“Any friend of Yunho’s is a friend of mine.” said April, before she flashed a wicked smile and then added “And if you want any dirt on Yunho, I can give you that as well.”

“Thank you.” laughed Jaejoong apprehensively as her words seemed ominously worrisome “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Well, I got to go. I’m sorry I disturbed your quiet time Mr. Kim.” added April as she bowed slightly “Please enjoy the rest of your time in New York and I hope you have a lovely day.”

“I will.” nodded Jaejoong “You have a lovely day too, Ms. April.”

“What was that all about?” questioned Jaejoong softly to himself as he saw the nice woman walk away.

“YUNHO!” growled Junsu “This is getting ridiculous!”

“I know!” fired back Yunho in a fit of pure frustration “But what the hell can I do about it? I can’t deal with this anymore!”

“Stop!” reiterated Junsu as he tried to snatch the glass from Yunho's hand.

“This is the only thing that helps!” growled Yunho.

“This is your damn fault anyway! You talked me into this bull and now I have to abide by it!” screamed Yunho frustratingly as he threw alcohol-filled glass across the room and it shattered against the wall.

“It was the only thing we could do!” retaliated Junsu “If you’d had the common sense not to sleep with the in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“I know!” yelled Yunho as he plopped down on the living room sofa and buried his face in his hands.

“Stop fighting!” interjected Yoochun “This isn’t helping!”

As Junsu stepped away from Yunho in a huff, Yoochun walked to the edge of the couch and tried to settle his nerves. The last three days had been an absolute nightmare for all of them. They had never realized how manipulative Sira could be, when she wanted something so badly, and now they were paying the price of that ignorance. The moment Yunho accepted the agreement between Junsu’s company and her lawyer, the real pain and misery had begun. Sira insisted that she and Yunho do everything together. From parties and social engagements to allowing her appearance at everyone of his performances and interviews, and everything in between, Sira had become a leech on Yunho’s life the very second after that press conference was over.

To make matters worse, Sira controlled everything Yunho did during his own personal time. She laid down over fifty ground rules, that he must follow to the letter, and if he violated even one of them she would instantly negate their agreement. She controlled everything from what Yunho was allowed and not allowed to wear, eat, and say, and she was even stricter when it came to Yunho’s social life. She had to know everything he was doing during every minute of the day. She was suffocating him and Yunho was at the end of his rope.

“What am I going to do Junsu?” whined Yunho “Because of her, I have to ignore him. He’s called me five times today already. This isn’t ing fair to Jaejoong and you know it!”

“He has no idea what the hell is going on here. He’s going to think we all hate him.” added Yunho.

“I know but that’s the way it has to be.”  sighed Junsu “You’re just going to have to deal with it for now.”

“I know why I have to do this but why are you and Yoochun ignoring his calls too?” questioned Yunho as his expression suddenly changed to complete horror as he thought out loud “We can’t all abandon him like this! What happens if he…”

“He won’t!” interjected Junsu “Manager Yoon is placating him, telling him that we’re all super busy, and making up as many excuses as he can to try and keep Jaejoong from worrying about you and us.”

“Trust us Yunho.” added Yoochun “We don’t like treating Jae this way either but, to keep him in the dark, we have to do it this way.”

“Bull!” argued Yunho “We should bring him back now! I can’t take this anymore. Sira is a total nutcase and Jaejoong probably thinks I don’t want anything to do with him anymore!”

“Bring him back!” shouted Yunho as he frustratingly grabbed an empty glass on the table and poured himself another shot of bourbon.

“We can’t bring him back right now and you know that!” fired back Junsu “We’ve done our utmost best to keep Jaejoong’s existence unknown to Sira. If you bring him back now, the second she sees him, she will instantly know how much he means to you! If that happens, Jaejoong’s world will get very big, very fast. You know he won’t be able to deal with her psychotic mentality. She will hurt him worse than he’s ever been and all because of you!”

“We miss him too but I refused to bring him back knowing what he will be walking into!” growled Junsu protectively “And you shouldn’t want him back here for the very same reason!”

“Then at least let me call him!” cried Yunho as he stared down at the glass he just poured “Just for a few minutes! Just to tell him that I’m ok! He needs to hear my voice and I need to hear his.”

“I know.” sighed Junsu disappointingly “But you can’t. Sira monitors all of your phone calls and you know good and damn well that Changmin is just dying to catch you violating the contract.”

“He’s such an .” sighed Junsu “I wouldn’t be surprised if every single one of our phones are being bugged and monitored right now.”

“I can’t take much more of this.” whined Yunho as picked up the glass and leaned back on the couch.

“I can’t.” he sighed as he gulped down his drink and then closed his eyes.

“We have to deal with it for now. The sooner the baby gets here the sooner this will be all over.” said Junsu. “Until then, you have to be patient.”

“And stop drinking.” mumbled Yoochun under his breath as he cut a disappointing look at Yunho and took his glass away.

“How can you two be so sure this kid isn’t mine?” asked Yunho flatly as he glanced back and forth between Yoochun and Junsu “I mean you said out of your own mouth that all the timing fits.”

“Because… I have faith in you Yunho. I know you would never be someone so stupid as to have with any girl without protection –even in your darkest moments.” declared Junsu reassuringly as he sat down beside Yunho on the couch “I knew from the moment we got the news about this whole situation that it was complete and utter bull.”

“Even so, accidents do happen.” sighed Yunho.

“You can’t think like that.” piped up Yoochun “You can’t honestly believe that this kid is yours.”

“Do you think that?” questioned Junsu in shock.

“No.” sighed Yunho “It’s not like that. It’s no secret that I’ve always wanted kids and this thing with Sira isn’t helping to quell that want.”

“I mean. I hate the and I never want to have kids with her… but” hesitated Yunho “I mean… I always looked up to my dad and envied him. The thought of being a dad… I dream about it sometimes.”

“Yunho.” sighed Junsu heavily “Don’t let your desire for children in the future distort your thoughts about the here and now.”

“I’m trying not to.” sighed Yunho “This whole situation is really messing with my head and I can’t stand it. I really need to see Jae. He’s the only one that always calms me down and helps me think clearly. Without him, I can’t think straight.”

“Maybe we should call him.” said Yoochun in a sad tone “If only just for a few minutes. Just so Yunnie can calm down and re-center himself.”

“I still don’t think that’s a good idea.” sighed Junsu “We have to protect Jae from Sira and calling him would only open a door that could lead to even more problems.”

“Su…” sighed Yoochun in a disapproving tone “Think about this logically. Yunho’s a wreck because of Sira and Jaejoong is worried sick in America. Neither of them can concentrate on the tasks at hand if they’re an emotional mess. The promoter contracts are a big deal and handling this thing with Sira is a huge deal. We can’t just expect them both to handle this well and still be able to do what they need to do.”

“They both need this.” added Yoochun “Even Manager Yoon thinks so. You have to let them talk to each other for both their sakes.”

“Alright.” sighed Junsu hesitantly before he looked at Yunho sternly “I will see what I can do but I have to warn you Yunho, this will be the only time you will get to talk to him until after all of this is finally settled. So you better make it good.”

“I will.” smiled Yunho with renewed hope.

“I’ll set it up. It will take me a few days.” added Junsu.

“What’s left on the schedule?” asked Jaejoong as he yawned deeply.

“We have to make a quick appearance at a dinner party in Korean town and then you’re off the hook for the rest of the night.” smiled Manager Yoon.

“Really?” questioned Jaejoong as he glanced at his watch and saw it was just after ten “You mean, I’ll actually get in bed before midnight?”

“Yes.” laughed Manager Yoon as he motioned Jaejoong to get into the company sedan. As they rode through the busy city streets, Jaejoong fought back the exhaustion that had been plaguing him all day. Even after being in the city for three days, he still felt like he had a bad case of jet lag. He really had no energy and all the work he had been doing was just so tiring that he could barely focus on one task at a time.

“Have you heard from your sister yet?” questioned Manager Yoon.

“She’s still in Los Angeles.” sighed Jaejoong.

“Will she arrive back here in time to see you before we go back to Seoul?” asked Manager Yoon.

“It doesn’t look like it.” frowned Jaejoong in disappointment.

“That’s a shame.” said Manager Yoon “I know you were looking forward to seeing her.”

“I was, but…” started Jaejoong before he trailed off.

“She’s with her, isn’t she?” sighed Manager Yoon.

“Yeah.” grumbled Jaejoong.

“You’re going to have to fix your relationship with your step-mom eventually. You know this right?” asked Manager Yoon.

“It’s not like I don’t want to…” sighed Jaejoong as the car pulled up in front of the restaurant “She’s…”

“Let’s not worry about that right now.” interjected Manager Yoon “I’m sorry I brought it up. Let’s just go inside and get this over with so you can get some sleep.”

“Ok.” nodded Jaejoong with another yawn.

Two hours later, Jaejoong glanced down at his watch and just shook his head. The music executives they were visiting had been very glad to see him and made it a point to guilt him into staying for a couple of drinks. Eight Soju bombs later, Jaejoong could feel the after affects strongly. The music executives and Manager Yoon could all tell that the alcohol was affecting Jaejoong’s mood. It had shifted from being content to something darker and he started to be cold and distant to everyone in the room. Manager Yoon, sensing the possibility of an emotional outburst from Jaejoong, immediately stood up in front of the gentleman and quickly made an excuse, so they could leave before he did something stupid. Gathering up Jaejoong by the arm, Manager Yoon lead him out of the restaurant and as they exited the front door, he stopped and sighed “Sorry about that.”

“I didn’t think they would do that to you.” added Manager Yoon as he began to pull Jaejoong by the arm again “Let’s get you home.”

 “Don’t!” growled Jaejoong as he snatched his arm from Manager Yoon’s grasp “I don’t need your help.”

“What’s with you?” questioned Manager Yoon at Jaejoong’s sudden behavior “Are you mad at me?”

“Yes!” grumbled Jaejoong as he swayed trying to keep his balance “You’re keeping Yunnie from me.”

“I am not. Don’t be silly.” scoffed Manager Yoon “Come on. Let’s get you in bed before you pass out.”

“Get in the car.” added Manager Yoon as he opened the car door.

“No.” argued Jaejoong “I don’t trust you! You’re a liar.”

“You don’t care about me!” scoffed Jaejoong as he stumble back away from Manager Yoon and glared at him “and neither does Yunnie.”

“You know better than that!” reassured Manager Yoon.

“What ever!” scoffed Jaejoong.

“Jae, just get in the car.” begged Manager Yoon.

“No!” yelled Jaejoong “I’ll walk home!”

“You most certainly will not!” fired back Manager Yoon “It’s too far away and President Kim would kill me.”

“I don’t care.” scoffed Jaejoong as he stumbled to keep himself upright.

“Jae…” sighed Manager Yoon in a caring tone “Let me take you home.”

“I want to walk!” adamantly growled Jaejoong.

“Fine.” answered Manager Yoon “But, I’m walking with you.”

“Whatever.” mumbled Jaejoong as he turned around and headed towards the nearest intersection.

Nodding to the company driver and closing the car door quickly, Manager Yoon followed after Jaejoong as he made his way through the crowded sidewalk. After walking several blocks, whatever had been eating Jaejoong earlier had seemed to dissipate as he looked up at Manager Yoon with questioning eyes.

“When are you going to tell me the truth?”  said Jaejoong.

“The truth about what?” answered Manager Yoon.

“Why did Junsu send me here in the first place?” stated Jaejoong flatly “What’s the real reason?”

Jaejoong’s question came completely out of the blue for Manager Yoon as he just looked up at him with confusion. Junsu had warned him not to tell Jaejoong anything about Yunho’s situation and assured him that Jaejoong knew nothing about it. So to hear him ask something like that, threw him off for a moment. Gathering back together his scattered thoughts, he looked up at Jaejoong and said “What are you talking about?”

“You’re going to lie to me too, I see.” scoffed Jaejoong “Never mind.”

Trying desperately to change the subject, Manager Yoon sighed at him and asked “Jae, it’s late. Can’t we just grab a taxi instead?”

“Whatever.” sighed Jaejoong as he reached up and rubbed his forehead.

As Manager Yoon walked to the curb to hail a cab, Jaejoong leaned against the nearby wall and took a deep breath. The alcohol, mixed with his frustration and loneliness, made Jaejoong really hate his life at that moment. His alcohol tolerance was normally very low and he would have never drank as much as he did tonight, but because of the social pressure, Jaejoong had imbibed more than he should have and he was now fighting one of the biggest headaches he had ever had. Sliding down the wall, Jaejoong plopped down on the side walk and closed his eyes, trying to clear his spinning head.

Suddenly, a loud crash echoed through the neighborhood and screams could be heard coming from a myriad of pedestrians down the street. Manager Yoon and Jaejoong both looked back towards the intersection they just came through and saw a crowd gathering and smoke wafting up from the street.

“What was that?” questioned Jaejoong.

“It looks like there’s been an accident. I better go check it out.” answered Manager Yoon “You stay here, ok?”

“Ok.” answered Jaejoong as he watched Manager Yoon take off down the street in a dead run.

“Not again.” thought Jaejoong as he slumped down and rested his head on his knees.

As Jaejoong sat there quietly trying to slow down the world that was spinning around him, Yunho’s face flashed through his mind again. “I miss him.” he thought.

 When Jaejoong left for New York, Yunho seemed so broken up over it. He had never thought he would ever see him that way and the sight had been haunting him for days. He felt so guilty for putting Yunho in such as state and was even more confused why he would act that way. The more he thought about their goodbye, the more Jaejoong began to realize that there was something going on with Yunho that he really had no clue about. Yunho’s behavior just didn’t make sense and Jaejoong couldn’t believe that his leaving was truly the cause of it. He couldn’t understand why Junsu was being such a jerk and why Yoochun acted so weird at the airport. One minute he looked as if he just wanted to get rid of Jaejoong and the next minute he looked like he was totally heartbroken over something.  

 “I don’t get it.” muttered Jaejoong with a pain-filled sigh.

“Well, look who we have here.” ominously said a strange voice “Is that our little Jay-Jay?”

Jaejoong instantly froze in panic as the sound of the man’s voice echoed in his ears. Clamping his eyes shut, Jaejoong’s heart raced and his mind flew into a fit of chaos. He began to shiver all over as the memories connected to that voice began flooding back to him all at one. “No!” screamed Jaejoong in his mind “It can’t be him! No! No! No…”

“What’s the matter Jay-Jay? Didn’t you miss me?” said the man sarcastically “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

Jaejoong fearfully opened his eyes and looked up to see one of the people he never wanted to see again in his life staring back at him. “Junjin.” said Jaejoong softly as he trembled in fear.

“Hello precious.” scoffed Junjin as he stood over Jaejoong and looked down at him with a wicked smile.

“What do you want?” choked out Jaejoong as he push himself up against the wall as far as he could, seemingly trying to climb the walls just to get away from him.

“I wanted to see you.” chuckled Junjin devilishly “It’s been a long time precious.”

“Too long.” he added.

“I’m not your precious.” argued Jaejoong timidly “Not anymore.”

“You will never stop being our precious Jay-Jay.”  scoffed Junjin with a chuckle.

“He let me go years ago!” fired back Jaejoong with a small glimmer of courage.

“That he did.” agreed Junjin “But it still doesn’t matter. You are who you are and that will never change.”

“You’re wrong.” stuttered Jaejoong “I’m not who I used to be.”

“Aren’t you?” questioned Junjin as he knelt down in front of Jaejoong and looked into his eyes “You’re still a rare beauty and still just as fiery.”

“Good.” added Junjin.

“Please just leave me alone.” begged Jaejoong as his memories of Junjin continue to flood his mind “I don’t want…”

“Its ok precious.” shushed Junjin as he leaned in close “I’m not here for that just yet.”

“Someone wants to see you first.” said Junjin mischievously as he reached out and grabbed Jaejoong.

“No!” screamed Jaejoong loudly.