The following days were uneventful. Heechul was still there, making his presence almost too obvious but Donghae still handled him really well. Donghae kept Hyukjae at a safe distance, out of his personal space and made sure he wouldn't touch him. It was a long week... it didn't make sense just how long it was. Hyukjae seemed to notice the invisible barrier but assumed there was some reason behind it. Also he told himself that he might get a chance to talk to him on Friday, when they'd go to meet that cousin of his.

''So you're bringing your friend tomorrow?''

''Mhm.''

Donghae cautiously pressed the last streak of paint of a blue cupboard and then sighed.

''Done?''

''About.''

''Your cellphone is ringing.''

Donghae's stomach flipped and he wiped his hands quickly and reached for his cellphone sitting on his cousin's desk.

''Hello?''

''Is something wrong?''

''No. Just... I'm at work.''

''Oh. Well I can call you later; this can wait.''

''No no it's fine really.''

Donghae frowned, when did he start liking his voice so much? Hyukjae chuckled.

''Ok, well I was thinking before we go to see your cousin... do you want to grab dinner with me?''

Donghae froze. But before he could think any better the answer came out. He wasn't sure what he said but judging by Hyukjae's response it was probably a 'yes'.

''Good, good. I'll see you tomorrow then.''

''Wait!''

Donghae blurted out suddenly.

''Hm?''

Donghae took a deep breath.

''Thank you.''

Hyukjae chuckled.

''What for?''

''Everything. Just... yeah everything.''

''No problem. Anything for you.''

The way he said the last part made Donghae worry. Worry because he had never been more happy to hear anything like that in his whole life.

''Why?''

Donghae asked dumbfounded.

''Why what?''

''Why are you so nice to me?''

''I don't know... I think it's because you're nice in the first place; it makes me want to be nice to you also.''

''I'm nice?''

''I never heard you say anything bad about anyone.''

''Ah...''

''Except Heechul... but he's your best friend so that's okay.''

Donghae laughed.

''It's good to hear you laugh. I wish you'd laugh more often. You were awfully distant this week. Did I do something...?''

''No! God no... it's not you it's...''

'It's Heechul.' Yeah right. There was no way he could explain that. There was no way he could tell Hyukjae that Heechul was giving a hard time because he spent all of his free time alongside Hyukjae. He was sure by now that Heechul was acting up because of jealousy. He tried reasoning him, tried telling him he had no intention of stealing his crush... and then again he wasn't sure. There were things going on inside his heart that he himself didn't understand. But he couldn't. He'd never. For Heechul's sake... no... why must it all be because of Heechul?

''Are you all right?''

''Yeah. Sorry. I'll... I'll see you tomorrow.''

''Okay. Take care.''

''Yeah.''

Donghae hung up before he embarrased himself any further.

''Was that 'him'?''

''Uh... yeah.''

''Why are you blushing?!''

Leeteuk said, chuckling.

''I'm not blushing!''

''Yes you are; you're all red! What are you keeping from me?!''

''Nothing! Nothing! He's my friend, you'll meet him tomorrow after we have dinner together.''

''He asked you to dinner? What? Is it like... a date?''

''No. We are... Hyukjae is not like that.... He'd never think of me like that.''

''That's a lot of 'never's. Remember when you said you'd never own a cellphone. Or how you'd never get into club activities because then you'd have no time to study?''

''So?''

''That boy is changing you. And I love the changes so far. You've even redecorated your room...''

''That was just an impulse.''

''And a risky one. I'm guessing it has something to do with him though.''

Donghae blushed even more. Leeteuk managed to harrass him into saying why.

''His room used to be orange like that.''

Leeteuk laughed.

''That's pretty feisty for young boys like you. Girls are usually the ones into that kind of thing.''

''I didn't ask him why it was that color....''

''So.... that boy has made quite an impact on you. In just a few weeks you've become this... different.''

''I'm not different.''

''You laughed just now. Do you know how long it's been since I heard you laugh like that?''

Leeteuk was almost crying. Donghae bit his lip. He hated making anyone cry.

''A very very long time. So whatever he is to you, I don't mind as long as he takes good care of you.''

''You haven't even met him...''

''If you chose him it must be for a good reason.''

''I kind of feel that all this time 'it' was telling me to get closer to him.''

''What do you mean?''

''I mean 'it' was involved with him in some way in the past.''

Leeteuk's smile disappeared.

''Is 'it' harming you?''

''No... not really.''

''Donghae!''

''All right all right, it's a bit more painful but whenever I'm with Hyukjae it goes away.''

''And the next day?''

Donghae shook his head.

''I won't let 'it' have a say on the people I choose to hang out with.''

''But if it wants something to do with Hyukjae... maybe 'it''s using you.''

''Uh?''

''Maybe it's using you to get back at Hyukjae...''

''What are you saying? They weren't like that, they were friends...''

''You told me about it before. Didn't you say he had a crush on him?''

''Yeah, so?''

''Don't you think Heechul might be using you for getting back at Hyukjae for not loving him back in his life?''

Donghae shivered. They usually didn't use his name when referring to him, they said 'it' or 'that'... but now that it was all out in the open... Donghae couldn't deny the possibility.

''I don't think Heechul would be that angry...''

''He's been hurting you all this time.''

''That's not his fault.''

''Donghae... Heechul was human; he had his passions, his desires, his lusts... why wouldn't he keep them even after his death?''

''Enough!''

Donghae said banging his hand on the desk and startling both of them.

''I won't hear you say anything bad about Heechul! He died! None of it was his fault! If only I hadn't asked him to my place he'd.... they might all be alie today.''

Donghae felt tears pourring out of his eyes. He couldn't stop them. Leeteuk was crying too.

''Donghae... it wasn't your fault.''

''Damn right it wasn't.''

Donghae grabbed his stuff and left the studio without another word.

------------------------------------

Ahhhh I'm so tired of feeling like this. I have knots in my stomach, I can't concentrate on anything... maybe I am sick. Maybe I'm lovesick who knows.... anyways... yeah, a bit of drama.I do hope I'll be able to update soon. Lately my schedule is kind of... hectic... I HATE GERMAN!

Saranghae!

Author-nim