Donghae's parents died when he'd just gotten into high school. Their car was hit by a drunk driver. Plus a pedestrian was involved in the accident and succumbed to his wounds a few days later. Donghae had hoped with every cell in his body that that boy would survive since he was Donghae's best friend, but he didn't pull through. Donghae's old self died as well that day and he was never the same. That's when 'it' came. That thing that made him stronger. That thing that kept him alive just enough so he would seem normal. Donghae didn't know or care what 'it' was. He only wished it would go away. He'd tried to get ri d of it. He tried running away, went several places with people who specialized in that kind of thing but none of it helped. 'It' always came back. What was the most particular thing about 'it' was that it gave him a dream. Always the same dream.

There was this boy sitting by a great window in what seemed to be an orange room. A bright orange one. The type that could make anyone happy. Maybe that's why Donghae liked having that dream. Even though he had no idea who that boy was and where that room was exactly. Since he'd met Hyukjae, he kept experiencing that déjà vue feeling.

Donghae sighed.

''You all right?''

His employer asked as he walked by.

''Yeah... just thinking.''

''Donghae-ah... You need to have some fun. You always seem so... bored. Go out! Meet people! Fall in love!''

''Hyung... you're the one that always says that we shouldn't waste our youth.''

Leeteuk-shi squinted his eyes.

''You are doing just that.''

''I am earning some money, I'm getting an education.''

''You have that bleak look on your face. I swear sometimes it's like you're the walking dead.''

Walking dead. Donghae shook his head. He gave one last of his brush on the piece of furniture he was refurbishing and then went to wash his hands. It was a bright red. Like blood. He shivered.

''Yah, Donghae!''

Donghae looked his way.

''Please at least bring a friend next time. That way I will have proof that you,re doing okay.''

''Even if your my cousin, why should I let you mingle with my private life.''

''Private life'? Don't sound so mature. It doesn't fit a high school student.''

''I'm a senior.''

''I don't care. Oh and by the way you have an appointment next week. You skipped last time. Make sure you go this time.''

''I don't need help anymore.''

''Donghae....''

''I'm fine.''

''Bring me that friend, maybe I'll reconsider.''

''No you won't.''

''Even so. Bring a friend.''

''You're hoping I'll bring a female aren't you?''

Donghae wondered why Hyukjae seemed like the perfect remedy for this situation. Leeteuk smiled sheeplessly.

''It would be nice. But I'll accept either.''

''You're so predictable.''

''Hey! Don't make fun of me.''

Donghae washed his paintbrush next and listened patiently to his cousin's ranting as he carefully pourred water over the tool. He loved Leeteuk He was the only family he saw regularly. Leeteuk's parents lived in America. They owned a business whose name Donghae had already forgotten and sent a wealthy check each month which Donghae barely spent and put away in an account. Couldn't make up for the lost family. Money never can.

''Are you listening to me?''

''Uh?''

Leeteuk rolled his eyes.

''You don't have to treat that brush like it's made out of glass. I have plenty of those.''

''You should take care of things that aren't yours. Your words.''

''You follow everything by the book don't you?''

''There's no need to bring violence into everything.''

'' 'Violence'?! We're talking about a....''

The look on Donghae's face made Leeteuk shut his mouth and reconsider. He cleared his throat.

''Want to grab lunch later?''

''Actually... I wanted to ask you about something.''

''What?''

''Where can I get a cellphone?''

Leeteuk's mouth dropped open.

''You... want... to buy a cellphone?! Holy pickle what brought this on?!''

''I just think it would be nice.''

''Uhuh... what's her name?''

Donghae rolled his eyes.

''It's not that. I just think it might be useful in the future.''

''So you do plan on getting a girlfriend!''

''Aigo! Stop bringing girls into every possible conversation!''

Leeteuk laughed.

''And then I need to go visit someone.''

''Visit someone?''

''Yes, someone who's been wanting to know my number. A guy.''

''Oh... you who always said you'd never get a cellphone... is getting one for a guy. Is he your friend?''

''I don't know. I'm part of his club.''

''You got into a club?''

''Yup.''

''You... what is going on with you? You're doing all the things you always hated...''

''Hate is a strong word...''

''Uhuh. Is he cute?''

''Yeah.''

''Does... know about you?''

''Just the usual: I get sick easily, I have some unknown disease. He did see me once though. He didn't ask about it. I think 'it' wants him to forget, so he's forgetting.''

''Why do I remember then?''

''Maybe 'it' has something against Hyukjae.''

''Or against you.''

''I don't think it's like that....''

''I think 'it' doesn't mean any good.''

''Leeteuk-shi please... 'it' seems so lonely.''

''Donghae-ah... you don't need to hold on to the past like that. You don't need to let it haunt you.''

Donghae smiled and then glanced at a picture of him on the wall beside him. It was a picture Leeteuk had taken once when they were out in the big city. Donghae hadn't looked or pretended to look so happy in a long long time. He put the brush away and then put the paint away.

''Now... let's go get you a cellphone.''

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I like writing about this Donghae.... it soothes me... anyways! An update! Sorry it was spring break and I had other things to do. So now you have it!

BTW! If you're interested, there's this song from NU'EST called 'Face'. I like it very much and if you have time you should go listen to it! JR for the win!!!! Saranghae!