Now let me interrupt this story for a moment and say something; what is hate to you? what does it mean when someone says those 3 simple words, 'i hate you'. does it mean to you that that person dislikes u very much and never wants to talk to you again? out of anger? sadness? Anguish and fury?

Or would you think of it this way; if someone told you this because they loved you, because they wanted to keep u safe. that person simply wanted you to hate them back, make u think that they didnt care and never would, to make u forget about them, forget they ever existed. because they wanted to protect u....protect you from yourself. That's all I have to say for now.

************************************

"Yongbae Hyung....wha-..."

Seunghyun gasped and looked at the shaking boy in his chest; his lower lip quivering and his shoulders heaving as he clutched the taller male's wet shirt.

Yongbae wrote this?! was it true? was it all just an act? what was going on...was this all just an accident, wat if yongbae didnt mean for Jiyong to see that? but the date...yesterday.

Jiyong  mewled softly and interuppted Seunghyun's thoughts

"Bubble-gum...He-he promised he would never leave me..*Hic..and now he is gone....ju-just like everyone else..."

Seunghyun tightened the cloth around his arm and looked at the smaller boy in silence, listening to him quietly stutter in continuation 

"I-i trusted him...he left..i-idont know what to believe anymore!...i dont want to believe in anything anymore *hic, its all a lie...its all lies..."

Seunghyun feels the boy starting to retreat off his lap as he says this and he quickly reacts, pulling Jiyong back into his soft grasp. He holds his large hands around Jiyong's thin waist and massages it lovingly, looking deep into Jiyong's dark eyes as he spoke,

"Ji......you have me now..and i don't know wheather u remember..but last night-- i love you...i told u that..and i want you to trust me...Yongbae, he...if he really said all this...forget about him, because now i am here to  take care of you. and i will stay by your side till the day i die."

Jiyong's eyes brighten for a second, as if it all came back to him, the night before, the words they exchanged by the dim light of the bedside lamp... it was all for real...but yongbae..asll the things he had done for Jiyong, all the sacrifices..why would he just, go?

Seunghyun sees Jiyong move his head upwards, the pulled down corners of his mouth slowing rising higher. maybe it was time to move on, he couldnt just remember Yongbae forever. his Hyung was gone, he was a free man now..happy and without a burden, able to live his life without liabilites. the corners turned up and the pearly white teeth bit the lucious bottom of scarlet flesh, a familiar sight that sent a wave of joy over Seunghyun's body.

The shine of the cream coloured skin reflected the afternoon with the tear streaked surface and the slight dimples appeared with a shadow as a cloud moved and sent a bright stream of light through the small kitchen window. the light pink hair glistened and moved as Jiyong closed his eyes when Seunghyun leaned forward. Seunghyun whispered,

"I love you Jiyong..Trust me.."

Jiyong felt the comforting, warm sensation of Seunghyun's lips against his as their mouths brushed softly against one another. He was shaking in excitement, finally being able to kiss those beautiful lips which sang out words like an angel

Jiyong's first kiss, one out of love at least. it was quick, but it was enough to send Jiyong's heart pounding. 

Seunghyun broke slowly away first and watched as the adorable boy blinked his eyes and his lips with the tip of his little pinkish tongue, using the base of his palm to wipe off the excess tears in his eyes. His lips were shining with saliva from his tongue under the light, making him look so much more kissable. 

"..Hyunnie..Hyunnie...I-i love you too!...Please... dont ever go away okay? Stay with me-here...and the-n we can be together...right?"

Seunghyun felt the boy hug him tightly and wrap his skinny legs around his lower half. the little angelic boy burried his face in Seunghyun's neck and stays silent, bitting his lip to prevent himself from crying cuz he knew that would make Seunghyun unhappy, and he didnt want him to be. he thought about Yongbae, all the fun they used to have together, all the long cries he had in his teacher's arms, the circles he drew across his back when he needed comfort and the songs they wrote and sang together....he would never be able to truly forget...

"Of course Jiyong...Omo, I'm so glad you feel the same way...I love you..love you so much and I will never let you go Jiyongie."

they stayed there in silence, Jiyong's soft breathing on Seunghyun's nape, the smell of the coffee and baked goods of the cafe and the warm rays of sun...But Seunghyun couldnt get Yongbae out of the back of his head, why did he do this..didnt he love Jiyong..?

Seunghyun sighs and holds Jiyong bridal style in his bleeding arms, standing up as Jiyong wrapped his thin arms around his boyfriend's neck and looked into those smoky black orbs, glinting as they got out of the kitchen and stepped out into the messy cafe. Jiyong kept his mind on Seunghyun, trying to keep himself happy at the fact that Seunghyun was now his lover as the taller male sat him down on the couch by the counter and kneeled before him, grasping his hands tightly and pressing them against his chest. He mumbled softly as Jiyong snifffed a little like a child and tries to focus his scattered thoughts,

"....Love, do you want something to drink? Or-or anything? are u hungry.....i'll make you something"

Seunghyun felt himself go red as he looked up at the boy,concerned,  bitting his lower lip nervously as jiyong looked totally zoned out while he nodded his head breifly and stayed quiet.

Seunghyun gulpped,unsure at Jiyong's response, getting up shakily as he walked towards the kitchen with his mind buzzing and arm screaming in pain, his gaze halfway averted towards the pink haired boy. He was truly worried about Yongbae too, how was his teacher holding up? Jiyong was nothing better, he looked like he had been through hell. his pink hair was sticking to his tear stained face and his eyes were wide. his hot face held mixed expressions as he shook lghtly. his scarlet lips moved as if trying to form words and he kept his eyes wandering on something in the dining room...he was definatly far from okay. As Seunghyun finally pulls his eyes away from the small boy, he opens the fridge and he scans the shelves, searching for something to make for the poor boy to eat. His stomach gave a sudden, upset grumble as he reached for the milk carton in the back of the fridge and Seunghyun breathed out heavily, yep, he was starving...he didnt have dinner last night and nothing but a cup of coffee for breakfast today. oh well, he would solve his problem later...he had to focus on Ji first. 

He the stove, the hot metal table heating up as Seunghyun fished out a bowl from under the sink and cracked 2 eggs into the container. he added sugar and milk and mixed lightly, not wanting to break the yolk, he felt so lost. how did he end up in all this madness. from an aspiring music artist trying to develop his talents in korea to a troubled student taking care of his dying teacher's mentally unsound half brother. Life was supposed to be sweet, he would finnish his education and join a band, make an album and debut, simple! it wasnt supposed to be like this...

Dont get Seunghyun wrong! he didnt mind this at all! He didnt mind being Jiyong's boyfriend, he loved it, it was his dream come true to find such a sweet innocent thing! And having your teacher nag at you to watch over his dongsang wasnt so bad either, it made Seunghyun feel as if he..well had a family, which was something he never really did have. but this happiness...it lasted all less than a day. things were happining so fast and now, Yongbae was going to be gone forever, leaving Jiyong with only a note that expresses his hatred for him? no... that cant be right. Yongbae mustuve had a reason behind his actions, the puzzle just didnt fit that way.

But wait! If Yongbae knew about what Seunghyun told Jiyong last night and saw them asleep together...he would have written the note and expected Seunghyun to be there with Jiyong when he read it, and then he would comfort the yong boy and gain his closer trust...oh god...It was all his fault wasnt it..he messed up the order of things, he screwed up Yongbae's plan, his dying plan for his beloved Jiyong.

 Jiyong.....

Jiyong would have to know the truth sooner or later, Yongbae knew that too didnt he!? Seunghyun cursed himself and poured the eggs onto the hot metal, the translucent, pale yellow liquid hissing and turning white as soon as it hit the heat. the turquoise haired male waited for one side it cook partially before picking up the soft, thick sheet of sugared egg and transferring it onto a small plate. What would Jiyong say when he finds out? did he still care for Yongbae? or had he lost all trust for the teacher? that was what was supposed to happen anyways, seunghyun was supposed to be the good guy that wuld comfort the damsel in distress, but now he was the bad guy too, the man that had left his lover alone in the morning without even leaving a note or saying goodbye.

The Boy took out a small pot next and poured in a little glass of water and cornstach, putting it on the stove with a loud frustrated 'clank' and dumped in a  cup of white rice into it hastily before slapping on a cover. this was seriously getting to him...how was he going to take care of Jiyong when Yongbae dies...work in the restaurant and give up on his dreams of becomming a kpop superstar? He couldnt possibly let Jiyong take care of the cafe after school hours by himself, he would be completely exhausted. he used to have Yongbae to help him out in there occasionally...and even then he was frazzled. Seunghyun Pulled out a small knife and began to slice some mushrooms and carrots  he found in the fridge into thin strips, pushing them onto the stove with some pieces of  beef from the freezer. cooking always used to take his mind off things, he loved to cook as much as he loved to sing. But it wasnt working now, all he could think about was Jiyong... even cooking his favourite thing to cook, beef bulgogi (Korean beef bowl with fried egg, carrots, mushrooms and cabbage) couldnt calm down his mind. he wanted so bad to just sit down and cry, but he had to be strong, for his Jiyong.

JIYONG:

The pink haired boys sat dazed on the couch, hands on his lap un-naturally neatly as he mumbled word of self comfort to himself.

"Its okay Jiyong...Pull yourself together..Seunghyun-Hyung is here for you, he loves you!...be calm, you should be calm...y are u so afraid? Gah.." his soft speech was interuppted by a loud, ear-splitting metal clank which caused him to wince and hunch his shoulders.

"Bubble-gum..."

he snapped partially out of his trace and sat back against the soft surface, grabbing a  patch-work pillow and hugging it tightly. he felt so...weird.

he was sad, traumatized, afraid. and then Seunghyun came in, sang to him, kissed him...his first kiss..and said that he would love Jiyong forever..he should have responed to Seunghyun better just now, he was truly elated and happy, Really! but it seemed at that point of time.. he just didnt know what to do anymore..he couldnt even manage to kiss back. but he remembered those lips, hot and gentle, pressing against his in the most gentle and romantic way. it only lasted a brief moment, a few seconds, but Jiyong remembered exactly how it felt...amazing. he wished that he could just reverse time and do it all over again...but he would kiss back this time, because it was so lovely, to be in his partner's arms and with his fingers clasped around his waist, their lips locked as the turquoise haired male passionatly on his lower lip...gosh that would feel so good..

Jiyong blushes at his slightly erted thought, covering his face with the pillow as he tried to get that image out of his head. Seunghyun, was so gentle with him and treated him so sweetly and kindly, always regarding Jiyong's permission and emotions before anything he did...unlike the bullies when he was younger...

"Shut up you stupid brat! We can do watever the hell we want to do to you! Your parents left u cuz u are a complete disgrace...the only thing of value to anybody is the services your body can provide!" Dry cracked lips forced themselves onto Jiyong's plump lips, a teeth crashing kiss that sent Jiyong crying out in pain and fear. rough hands shoving him to the floor as he was drugged by a sharp needle into his thin wrist. teeth lunged into his neck and bit down on the cream surface, leaving blood red scars on the paper thin skin, all over his body they scratched, cut....

Jiyong Sat up and shuddered. No Jiyong...not now...

But who was the one who saved him? Yongbae...his hyung that hated him. his hyung that promised him he would never leave him and always protect him till the day he died..Lies..all Lies...or just a big mistake? Why would he leave...he always loved him..

*FLASHBACK*

"Ji...remember no matter what happens, i'll always be there for you alright?"

"Huh? Hyung-ah, why so random..is something wrong? is-is everything okay?" Jiyong sat up quickly  from the soft green medow where the two boys were cloud watching and looked down at his older brother who had his hand behind his head  and his gaze averted to the puffy white clouds in the azure sky. Yongbae smiled and called Jiyong back down to the ground. 

"Heh..nothing..Just letting you know..relax....life is too short for worrying ya know?"

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Jiyong let out a long dreaded sigh, eyes filling up again as he cursed and wiped the tears away,

"Aish...why am i crying?...he hates me..and-and  have Hyunnie now to love me now...and Hyunnie wont let me go..right?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Aneyonghansayeo! :D sorry for late updates! forgot all about this over the last few days...been a little tired and restless..think im sick :/ please comment and subscribe is u liked this story! Upvote me plweaseeeee!!! XD hahah that would really make me happy and give me the push to do more chapters more often! love u all my subscribers! al your suport is loved and appreciated! SARANGHAE!!! :D

~MistressofManga