Chapter 9

What is this feeling?

'Woahhh, This festival looks so cool!' You smiled and looked at Zelo. 'So will we be together or separate into small groups?' Jongup asked. Zelo lifted his hand 'I'm with Her!' And pointed at you. 'Okay the groups will be Monika and Zelo, Vivi, daehyun and yongguk, And lastly Me and youngjae.' Jongup decided.

Zelo took your hand 'Let's go?' You nodded and smiled.

'Where should we go?' 'hmmm..' 'To the haunted house??' 'Noo, it's too scary!!' He laughed 'Nahh, i'll hold your hand, then you'll be safe.' You really didn't want to go there but you did it for Zelos sake.

Zelo bought you tickets and you walked in. You holded Zelos arm as hard as you could.

'Don't worry you're wih me the monsters wont get you, i'll protect you.' Zelo tried to calm you down. And it accually helped.

Suddenly a zombie looking man appeared behind a wall and started chasing you. You started to scream and running away. suddenly You found a corner where was a door to a small, dark, empty room.

'What is this?' Zelo said and looked in. 'Cool a banded room in a haunted house' He walked in 'It doesn't look like it's planned to be visited' Zelo laughed 'It doesn't matter, we're alone now' He smirked. 'This situation reminds me of the earlier today' You blushed but smiled.

He grabbed your waist and placed his forhead against yours and smiled with the cutest smile. You wanted to say ''aaawwwwww'' but didn't cause that would've been just akward.

You were just standing there in the silence.

'aren't you going to do anything?' He smiled and laughed a bit. 'I just want to stare at your beauty and smell your sment' 'You don't smell bad eather' You said and laughed and so did he.

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Comments

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ilovebapxo #1
Chapter 9: PLEASE UPDATE MOREE !! <3
kepumusse #2
You should consider a beta-reader for your fics. You have quite many beginner mispellings, such as crab (*grab), glass(*class), sit to my seat (*sit on my seat) Everyone are (*everyone is) up to dress up (*up to dressing up). You should also always write the pronoun "I" with capital I.

All these are just from the first chapter, which is barely half a page.

Grammatical errors and misspellings make stories hard to follow and the reader can't grasp the atmosphere etc. you're trying to convey because he/she gets distracted with them. You also come across as more professional, if you manage to write proper English. If you can't, then just stick to your native language.

I also didn't quite appreciate the way you used pictures in your story. It just makes me think that you were too lazy to actually describe the things in picture.
Ambrelamotte #3
Update please !!!^^
jello_
#4
Chapter 8: I really like this story^^
Update soon~
Xoxo424 #5
Chapter 2: This story......i keep rereading it. <3 hehe. Update soon :)
Xoxo424 #6
Chapter 1: please update soon