Chapter 2

What is this feeling?

'What is ZELO doing here?!' He walked in front of the class and wawed at everyone. 'Hello everyone, My name is Choi Joon Hong but please call me Zelo' Your heart started to beat really fast. 'This has to be a dream!' You pinched yourself but everything seemd so real. 'Please sit over there.' The teacher said and pointed to the seat in front of me. Zelo walked to the seat and gave you a quick look. Your heart stopped again. 'Hey Monika! Ain't that the boy from Korea who you said was your boyfri..' 'Shhhhh!!!' Zelo can't know that i'm a fan of BAP (or that i have been calling him my boyfriend to my friends) I don't want  to seem like a fangirl even if i was. I spent the whole lesson staring at Zelos perfect blue and blonde hair and pinching myself hoping that it was not a dream.

After the lesson all of your friends came to you and everybody asked you 'Is that the boy your fan of?' 'Is he korean??'.           I couldn't anwser, cause i was still freacked out. But then i just had to say 'Please everyone i don't want him to know that i'm a fan of his.' Everyone understood and left me alone. I started to walk to the other glass with my few closest friends. Then one of the friends asked 'You still wanna date him, right?' .. I was quiet for a second and blushed a little bit. 'Of course.' I said and smirked, and blushed more. We were waiting outside the class, with the rest of the croup. I saw that Zelo had found new friends. He was talking and laughing with some of my guyfriends. 'Are you chinese?' I heard one of them ask zelo that. I facepalmed to them in my mind. Zelo laughed a bit and said 'No i'm korean'. 'Awwww He is soooo cute!!' I tought and smiled by myself.

The lesson started, and i took my books to my desk. 'Everyone do the exercises 20-28 from pages 57-59.' Everything was going great but then.. *Saeppalgan usan Chukchugi jeojeun otgwa undonghwa Boilleoreul kkeotda kyeotda Mwol haedo mareuji anha* 'What the ' Why is Zelo rapping to Rain sound? That moment i realized that it was my phone ringing and Zelos rap part was my ringtone. I panicked. Everyone was looking at me. Even Zelo. I was sure i  was red like a cherry tomato. It was Vivi calling. I quickly turned of my phone and happily didn't get detention. Everyone turned back to their books. Everyone but Zelo, He was still looking at me. 'That's it, I'm dead'.

 

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ilovebapxo #1
Chapter 9: PLEASE UPDATE MOREE !! <3
kepumusse #2
You should consider a beta-reader for your fics. You have quite many beginner mispellings, such as crab (*grab), glass(*class), sit to my seat (*sit on my seat) Everyone are (*everyone is) up to dress up (*up to dressing up). You should also always write the pronoun "I" with capital I.

All these are just from the first chapter, which is barely half a page.

Grammatical errors and misspellings make stories hard to follow and the reader can't grasp the atmosphere etc. you're trying to convey because he/she gets distracted with them. You also come across as more professional, if you manage to write proper English. If you can't, then just stick to your native language.

I also didn't quite appreciate the way you used pictures in your story. It just makes me think that you were too lazy to actually describe the things in picture.
Ambrelamotte #3
Update please !!!^^
jello_
#4
Chapter 8: I really like this story^^
Update soon~
Xoxo424 #5
Chapter 2: This story......i keep rereading it. <3 hehe. Update soon :)
Xoxo424 #6
Chapter 1: please update soon